a/n: This chapter is excessively lengthy, I admit. If the chapters are too daunting then please let me know, otherwise, I'll probably keep writing them long.
All of your reviews are GREATLY appreciated!! Thank you so much to all the people who favorited this story and put me on their author alert. It's a huge compliment and keeps me writing. If I know that at least one person likes this story, then I'll keep writing it.
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Chapter Five: Skeleton Keys
I hadn't had that much fun in a long time. She honestly didn't give a flying fuck if we knocked into a couple, we messed up in front of everyone or if I was being an impossible douche bag. Rinoa was a weird sort of girl. Someone I had completely underestimated. So many girls at Garden were just morons. They were all completely devoid of any really thought or opinion. But then again, Quistis was really the only girl I interacted with... much to my disliking.
I felt bad I hadn't seen Rinoa in so long... because it was mainly my fault. I had avoided the secret area completely. It's not that she was annoying or anything but when I needed to be alone most of all, she was always there. I had found a different pondering spot for me to go to... but I knew it would only be a matter of time before she found that too.
She was entertaining I guess. Her sick masochistic tendencies about smoking made for a good late night chuckle. But, to me, that's all she really was. I knew nothing about her nor did I care to and I thought she felt the same about me. So when she came up to me and asked me to dance I was taken aback. I was expecting her to smile awkwardly and move on. But she didn't. She was aggressive like Quistis, but in a gentle way. Quistis was like a predator attacking its prey and Rinoa was like a botanist tending to a wilting rose. She carefully touched and sheltered it, watered it and persisted. If that makes any sense. Whatever. I've had a few drinks.
I had forgotten how much I loved fireworks. The beautiful colors, shapes and patterns they formed while booming ominously overhead. I had paused our dance just so I could gaze up at them. I felt her eyes move from the sky and to my face. I felt my face turning a bright red as I pretended not to notice her stare. I was about to turn back to her and continue where I had left off but a small tap upon my shoulder made me tense. I probably squeezed the circulation out of Rinoa's hand as I realized who it was. Quistis. No fun goes unpunished when she's around.
"You'll dance with a complete stranger but won't even talk with me?" I could feel the venom leak from her mouth and burning a hole in my ear. I wanted to turn around and tear her in half. But I couldn't with Rinoa in my arms. I released her and shut my eyes fearing that my hateful glares would kill the wrong person.
"I'll see you later, Rinoa." I tried to be as pleasant as possible through clenched teeth. I doubt I sounded very convincing.
"Bye Squall." It was a meek mumble. She was probably a little perturbed at having to see this little situation begin to unfold. I turned to Quistis, opening my eyes and staring directly into her's, hoping to shoot lasers of pure hatred hrough her head. Nothing happened.
"Can we talk outside?" She asked calmly. Her false sweetness had withered away, left with nothing but simple stoicism. I didn't want to reply, I just walked for the balcony of the ballroom. I felt the whole of Garden watching us make our way towards it. We were hot news... all of which was Quistis' fault.
We got outside and she walked ahead of me to the balcony. I slammed the french doors behind me. They cracked as they connected. They were probably broken but I didn't care to look back and check.
Silence.
"What? What do you want?" I asked making my irritation very apparent.
"You may be young..." She turned her head back towards me. "But you have so much going for you. You know that, right?" The fuck was she getting at?
"I have no idea what you're talking about and I don't think you do either. So let's not waist our time and just get to the point." She always ended up beating around the bush whenever she wanted to talk to me. Even the simplest comments she made to me were always drenched in extra, unnecessary trimmings.
She sighed and turned her whole body to face me.
"You're an excellent student." She was straightforward with this comment. And it also sounded strangely... friendly. It lacked the malice or the evil intention that seemed to back all her other statements.
I didn't want to give her the upper hand by thanking her.
"I have an order for you." She said after a moment. I rolled my eyes.
"What?" Was this bitch for real?
"I have an order for you." She repeated. "Meet me in the secret area at midnight." Again, the statement lacked malice or hate. How did she know about the secret area? Thank god I stopped going there... I might have run into her.
I hesitated. "Why?" I couldn't deny the order without getting written up for disorderly conduct so I decided to just roll with it. I'd bring along a knife just in case she tried to make a move on me again though.
She shook her head, refusing to tell. "Just meet me there." My skepticism remained and she noticed. "That's an order." She said strictly, her teacher's voice coming back to her.
I nodded and left her out there. I punched the doors open on my way out.
I was pissed off. I stormed through the ballroom. What did Quistis have planned? What awful things would she trap me into and what bullshit would she fill me up with? I had managed to avoid her for quite awhile by avoiding the hall ways she would walk through to get to classes and changing my seat every day in class. It managed to trip her up enough so that her inane comments were dropped by at least 50. A small victory in a larger war, but a victory nonetheless.
After a cigarette break at my new secret area I made my way to the secret area in the training center. I pushed the foliage out of the way as my shoes connected with the steel plating of the balcony. I moved the rest of the greenery out of my eyes and saw the mystic blue light emanate from the main hall of garden. Quistis was there, leaning her elbows against the railing and star gazing. I approached cautiously.
She heard my foot steps very clearly and looked back down to garden and straightened her back.
"You know..." She began. "I think I can say with a relative amount of confidence that I've been a good teacher to you Squall." She said as she looked back towards me. A small smile pulled at her lips.
I rolled my eyes and folded my arms across my chest.
"Is that what you called me out here for?" I asked as I walked up to the railing on the other side of the balcony, as far away from her as possible. "So you could tell me about how awesome you are?"
She chuckled. "No. I wanted to compliment you on your beautiful dance." She was seriously going to hound me about that? This chick was ridiculous.
"Cool." I said as I shook my head in disbelief. Was that it? I could have actually enjoyed my night, but no, you had to show your ugly mug and compliment me. "I'm leaving." I was turning to leave when her voice caught me.
"No." She said with finality. That was an order too. "I'm not done."
"What else have you got to say to me, Quistis? What more crap do you want to bother me with?" I asked. I could feel all the irritation and hatred I was harboring for her bubble up and over into my words.
"I wrote your report the other day for the Headmaster." She spoke calmly. I didn't know how to read that remark... I couldn't figure out if it was threatening or not. "I thought it would be a breeze to write. Excellent work in class and out on the field, responsible, trust worthy, etc, etc. You have every quality that it takes to be a SeeD, Squall." Where... was this coming from? Why was she saying this?
"But on the form it asked 'Works well with others?'" She looked me straight in the eyes. I already knew where this was going. "Can you guess what I put?" The edge that I was so familiar with reappeared in the cracks of her voice.
"'Doesn't like people?'" I shrugged.
"... Doesn't know how." She corrected. I wasn't expecting that. I didn't know how to respond. I didn't understand the point she was trying to prove.
"Squall... listen to me." She said as she pushed herself off of the railing and slowly made her way towards me. "I'm telling you this from the pit of my heart. I'm pushing all of my feelings about everything we've ever had aside. I'm thinking about you from an analytical point of view. From the vantage point of a teacher." She was being disturbingly honest and I wanted to run away. I didn't want to deal with the gravity of whatever she was telling me. Where did the bitchy mean spirited Quistis go? What was she trying to do?
"You need to learn how to interact with other people." She said.
"What?" Was all I could say as I turned to her.
"I know it sounds stupid and childish... but I'm serious." I couldn't tell if she was or not. "You're not going to get far in Garden acting alone."
"I've gotten far enough, mom." I said as I shook my head in disbelief. I could not believe I was seriously being lectured on this.
"Psh, no wonder you're a social retard." She laughed at that and threw her arms up in exasperation. She looked away from me and back towards Garden. I could only stare after her in disgust. What a bitch... "You only listen to good advice when it's from your mom?" She chuckled at the thought again. She shot me a glance as if to ask if I had seen the error in my ways yet. I hadn't. I had no idea what she was getting at.
"What the he-" She cut me off.
"Good advice can come from anybody. Remember that." She pointed a finger at me, like I was a chalk board and she was pointing out an important note.
"Well, forgive me if I don't believe your advice. You don't exactly have a great track record in my book." I reminded her.
"That may be true enough... but you need to know good advice when you hear it. I'm your teacher. Someone who is guiding you to be what you are to become. I'm the person you should take advice from." She pointed back to herself.
"Trust me, I'd rather take advice from a two year old." I turned away from her and moved back towards the balcony. I pulled out a cigarette from its pack and lit it in a hurry. I knew that with the first drag this scene would end, she would be gone, I'd be here alone and I could enjoy myself. But I took that drag and everything was still just as shitty as before.
"Even two year olds have good advice sometimes..." Quistis mumbled, sounding a little defeated. She had been turned away from me for a while now.
"I'm sure." I mocked.
"Well then Squall, enlighten me!" She was mad as she turned to me but she remained calm. "Then who's advice will you take?"
"I don't know!" I instinctively shot back aggressively. I didn't mean for that to come out, especially in that tone. "I won't take advice from you or a two year old? Well then there is just nobody I'm going to listen to! I'm just a lost cause!" I started to get even madder. The cigarette currently twitching around in my fingers seemed less appetizing than before.
"No! You won't take advice from anyone. I know you Squall Leonha-" I shut her up.
"Fuck that! You don't know me, Quistis Trepe." I spit back right in her face. "Just because you're a fucking superior doesn't give you the right to go trouncing around, pretending like you know people." I couldn't see the fear in her eyes that I was expecting to see. She wasn't backing down. "You can see my grades and my homework... that's it. That's all you can see from your little tiny bubble."
"I see more than you know." She had a little condescending smirk on her smug face. "You think you're so tough. A loner. Acting so rude... I can see right through all that shit like it's not even there." She stepped back from me. She was done arguing and looked done for the day. Then her face dropped. She had regretted that last comment, I read it all over her features. "Squall..." She began, calming herself. "Listen to me. I don't want to argue with you, I want to help you. We fight about nothing enough, so just let me be a teacher right now."
"Oh, so now you want to be an instructor? Just when you-" Her foot slammed against the metal beneath us, shutting me up instantly.
"Listen! You can go back to hating me after I tell you this... but I'm serious right now. So just... just listen." I could see the spike of anger that had stabbed her, and the slow extraction of it that calmed her. I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt, for at least this one moment. I just wanted to get this conversation over and get her out of my life.
"Open up every once in a while." She said simply, looking directly into my eyes. "You were right, I don't know everything in your life. I don't even know a single percent of it... but is there anyone who does?" She paused. No. There wasn't. There didn't need to be. "There isn't, is there? You can't live life shutting others away." Yeah, I can. "Nobody can. We need that human connection. We need to be able to bounce ideas, thoughts and feelings off of others. If you don't you'll just get swamped by your own emotions. You'll explode." I wanted her to shut up. "I'm trying to be a friend... but I know that that discredits me. So, from a teacher's perspective... you need to do this. Or you won't get anywhere in Garden. You'll never become a SeeD." She finished and she moved a step back.
My cigarette had gone out. I flicked it over the edge and I watched it twirl down, catching stray wind currents as it descended.
"Done?" I asked as I looked at her, my face stoic.
"It would have been more fruitful talking to a wall." She commented sadly. I shrugged and looked to the iridescent light that glowed from Garden.
Giggling and rustling came from the training center. I turned around, not to sure what to expect would come through the foliage.
"Selphie!" A girl cried as she broke down into hysterical laughter.
"I'm not even kidding!" The other girl yelled back. The shrubbery at the entrance to the secret area shook violently as a warning sign at someone's more than obvious approach. The laughter was much clearer now and the girl fell through the greenery and into our view. I should have figured.
It was Rinoa. She was in night clothes, holding a bottle of half drunken wine in one hand and a pack of cigarettes in the other. She caught sight of Quistis first and stopped dead in her tracks. Rinoa's face fell and it began to turn beat red, redder than it already was. She then took a glance over to me and her eyes grew wide with horror. I could only look back bewildered.
The other girl stumbled through "But I mean, can you believe she has-" She spotted me and her exuberance fell." -a penis..." She trailed her sentence off into drunken mumbles as she slowly bounced her eyes over to Quistis. The drunk girl held two bottles of wine, one in each hand, one full and the other half full.
"Oh my god..." Rinoa mumbled, too drunk to have any comprehension on what was going on.
"Oh God." The other girl said. She dropped her bottles quickly and ran to the edge, throwing her head over the side. The painful sounds of retching and vomiting echoed awkwardly between the three of us as we continued to just stare at one another.
Quistis turned to me. "I'm going. Take my advice." She said as she brushed past Rinoa.
With Quistis gone, Rinoa looked slightly more at ease, though still terrified.
"I'm in so much trouble. She totally saw me. She totally knows who I am." She was in her own world. She took a huge gulp from her wine bottle and sloppily pulled a cigarette from her pack. More retching came from the other girl. "Selphie! All your throwing up is making me nauseous."
The other girl pulled herself back from the edge.
"Oh my god... I feel so much better now." She sighed happily as she picked up one of her bottles of wine again.
"Dude. We're so fucked." Rinoa said to her friend who stumbled in Rinoa's general direction. "An instructor totally saw us after curfew and with alcohol in a public area."
"Oh... shit." Was all the girl could say as she snatched a cigarette from Rinoa's pack. The snatching action made Rinoa perk up and she shot a look at me.
"These are yours!" She practically yelled.
"What?" Was all I could say as I continued to stare at the train wreck before me.
"You dropped these like, months ago... I've been meaning to give them back." She extended the cigarette pack to me on a wavering arm.
"They're yours now." I insisted. I pushed her hand away.
"Oh good... 'cause me and Selphie already smoked like half the pack in my room. But then we got caught smoking out the window so we came out here." The last part of her statement was mumbled as she stuck a cigarette in her mouth. She lit it haphazardly but managed to start the flame anyhow. She blew out and by the look on her face I could tell she was instantly refreshed. She took another drag and exhaled. She had obviously been smoking since I had last seen her.
"See? No coughing!" She turned to me as she exhaled once more. "I'm no longer some newbie smoker anymore." She smiled as she inhaled for another drag.
"What are you talking about? This is the first time you haven't coughed!" The other girl reminded as she took a drag herself.
"The point is that I didn't cough just then, yah know?" She said as she gave a drunken glare towards her friend. "Oh!" She looked back to me. "Squall, Selphie. Selphie, Squall." I gave a curt nod to Selphie who smiled back and gave a tiny wave.
"I'm sorry if we interrupted anything!" Selphie exclaimed. She emphasized the word anything a little too much. They probably thought Quistis and I had been making out or something.
"You weren't interrupting anything." I said as I looked away from them.
"Really?" She sounded disappointed. "Nothing at all? Not even cuddlin-" I was almost ready to leave with that comment but Rinoa cut her off.
"Selphie!" Rinoa slapped her friend across the shoulder. "Ignorance can kill." She reminded as she snatched Selphie's wine bottle from her hands and took a swig.
"Rin! You have your own!" She yelled as she ripped the bottle from Rinoa's hands. Selphie hid her bottle under her sweater, protecting it from any more abuse that Rinoa may have had in store for it.
"You've had enough." She slowly turned to me and eyed me curiously. "But Squall hasn't had any!" What? She looked back to Selphie who looked depressed at the idea.
"Rin! I want that other bottle!" She exclaimed reaching out for it from across the balcony, but making no real movement to go and retrieve it.
"Think of the less fortunate." She reminded as she walked on shaky legs to the other bottle. She picked it up and turned to me. "Take it." She insisted.
"Um, I'm alright." I had no idea how to react. I didn't know if that Selphie girl had herpes or something... or where that bottle had been. But she persisted.
"Seriously! This bottle of wine is my condolence for having to deal with Quistis... I know you hate her and all." She whispered that last part, afraid that Selphie might catch wind of it. But the drunken whisper was far too loud to be hidden and Selphie's interest was piqued.
"Wait, what?" She asked. Maybe she hadn't heard it, but she could probably smell the secret just as easily.
"Nothing. Squall, drink." She batted Selphie's inquiries quickly out of sight and shoved the bottle in my hands. "The faster you chug it, the more drunk you'll become." She said as she pushed the bottle deeper into me, nearly shoving me backwards.
I looked at the full bottle then back to the plastered girls before me. I so rarely got drunk. I figured I could push the limits tonight. I had nothing to do tomorrow and I knew the only way to salvage this night would be to get so drunk I ended up passing out.
"All right." I agreed with a mumble and a shrug. Rinoa giggled with joy a little bit and bounced on her knees. She cleared her throat and raised her bottle, motioning for a toast.
"To making a mediocre night awesome!" She cheered. Selphie cheered and clanked her bottle against Rinoa's so hard that I was expecting glass and wine to fly everywhere.
"Squall?" She asked turning to me. She looked me in the eyes and I could tell she was serious about this whole cheers thing. This was ridiculous and I had to laugh at the scene unfolding before me. I grunted a small chuckle and clinked my bottle with theirs. That advice may have been from Quistis, but I guess it didn't hurt to try out her suggestion. Though I'd never admit it.
"Okay, on the count of three... we all chug our bottles as fast as we can!" Selphie exclaimed, looking between the two of us.
"Fuck yeah son!" Rinoa yelled, throwing her bottle in the air as if ready for another toast.
"Squall?" The two turned to me. Again, the look in their eyes meant business and I needed to join or there would be repercussions. I pointed the head of the bottle in their direction, reminding them that my cork was still shoved snugly in the opening.
"Oh." Rinoa said with a small smile. She took the bottle from me, pulled out a pocket knife and stabbed the cork like she meant to kill it. I was slightly taken aback by the viciousness of the attack. She drove the blade into the cork like there was no tomorrow.
In a quick fling of her arm, she pulled the knife out and with it the cork.
"Oh man, that was totally bad ass." Selphie said quite stunned.
"Yeah... I didn't think that would work." Rinoa laughed as she handed the bottle back to me.
"Let's drink, god dammit!" Selphie suddenly exclaimed. She pressed the head of the bottle to her bottom lip and braced herself for the intense amount of booze that was about to slide down her throat. "On the count of three..."
"One..." Rinoa put her bottle closer to her face, ready to chug.
"Two..." I couldn't believe I was doing this. Who were these girls? Why hadn't I left yet? How the hell was I going to drink all that wine??
"Three!" Selphie screamed and we all tilted our heads back and let the wine drain from its home and into our gullets.
After what felt like an eternity of chugging, I had to breathe. I moved the bottle away from me and gasped for air. I wiped my mouth and purple stained lips and looked at the two others. They looked at me astonished.
"Duuuuude!" Selphie cried pointing at my bottle. "You drank, like, half of it in one gulp!" She laughed.
"You're gonna be so messed up." Rinoa laughed too. I looked at their bottles. Rinoa's was just barely a quarter less than it once was. Selphie's was much the same. I looked to my bottle... I had consumed waaay more than I had thought humanly possible. I was bound to get alcohol poisoning...
... but instead I got completely smashed. In what felt like no time at all I was wobbling around and slurring with the two. Cigarettes had never tasted so good and peeing had never felt so refreshing.
"You know what..." Rinoa paused as she burped painfully. We were all sitting in a circle, our upper bodies swaying gently, occasionally toppling over and onto our forearms. "... I think?"
I gave her a drunken look through slow moving eye lids. "Hmm?" Was all I could mumble.
"I think Selphie is too pussy to take her top off!" Rinoa exclaimed as she slapped a hand onto Selphie's knee and then collapsing into her lap.
"Dude... you don't even know how, like, not pussy I am." She said with a smirk as she poked Rinoa's forehead resting comfortably between her legs. Rinoa quickly sprang up and moved her face within inches of Selphie's.
"Prove it bitch." Rinoa said, then fell onto the ground.
"No..." I chimed in. What was my point? Oh, yeah. "She's just pressuring you. Peer pressure, yah know." What? What just came out of my mouth?
"Yeah..." was all Selphie could say.
"Pussy!" Rinoa yelled from her spot on the ground.
"Boobies!" Selphie exclaimed as she fell down next to Rinoa. They began to laugh about the comments. It momentarily subsided, then they looked at each other and started cracking up even harder until they were rolling around and crying.
Rinoa finally sat up, still wiping the tears away and looked at me for a while. Her smile faded in and out as she continued to stare blankly.
"Wah?" I finally slurred.
"You're so pretty when you smile." She noted. I was smiling?
"You're pretty when you smile too." Word vomit. Word diarrhea. I felt the little left of me that was sober smack me, punch me, bite me, stab me and maim me for saying that... but it didn't matter. I was so drunk that it felt like a normal thing to just banter about. Not like any of us would remember that comment anyways.
"No! You're pretty!" Rinoa laughed as she raised a finger at me.
"Everyone's pretty... We're so good looking." Selphie said as she got up from her lying position.
Rinoa looked between the two of us.
"We really are good looking, aren't we?" She nodded... and nodded. Then finally fell over and onto Selphie's shoulder.
"The world is so blessed to have us." Selphie said with a chuckle. Rinoa chuckled and they both laughed together until they were in tears yet again.
Selphie looked up at me and stopped laughing but smiled even wider.
"Oh my God! Squall's smile is way cute!" She said with a clap. I wiped the smile off my face instantly.
"I know!" Rinoa exclaimed.
"I wish my smile could be cute like that..." Selphie mumbled. Rinoa laughed, but Selphie didn't. She just stared blankly at the floor as her upper body wobbled a little more than it was previously. Rinoa cooled her laughing and looked at Selphie's slightly hunched form. Silence. Rinoa and I waited for Selphie to do something, anything... but nothing.
Selphie suddenly flopped backwards, her arms splayed above her head.
"Oh my god..." I breathed. "She's dead." But the sound of heavy snoring made me retract the comment.
"Bitch just passed out!" Rinoa said with a laugh. She sighed and looked at me. "We better go to bed now..." She stood on loose legs. She stumbled all over the place, stepping on Selphie's unconscious body more than a few times. I stood on far more sturdy legs than hers, but was still in no way stable.
She bent down and tried to lift Selphie, but she couldn't even lift up her friend's hands without heaving and huffing.
"Hey! Wake up! We have to go to bed!" Selphie wasn't moving though. She was out cold.
"I got it." I said as I moved over to her body and lifted her with ease. I mounted her on my back, holding her thighs and throwing her arms over my shoulders. Her snores blared in my ear and I regretted the decision to carry her immediately.
"She owes you big time." Rinoa said as she poked her friend's peaceful face.
"No biggy." I slurred as I began to make my way out of the secret area. With Selphie on my back now being awake, not to mention walking, became a great deal harder. My blinks became far more frequent and longer in duration the further I moved. Rinoa was having the same trouble. She wavered back and forth and each blink she made was like a sick, sadistic reminder of sleep. But we persisted.
We got to the main garden hall and the knowledge of being closer to the dormitories felt sobering. I sped my walk up as did Rinoa, who also looked slightly more awake than before. ... She was going a lot faster actually. She was really far ahead of me now.
Then I heard a voice, the voice that I realized had been calling out for us for quite sometime. The voice of a Garden administrator. We were dead. Not only were we totally fucked up but we were out WAY past curfew. What time was it even? Oh my God... you could probably smell the booze on my breath. I bet my lips were deep purple.
Quick! Sober up!
"... Excuse me! Where do you think you are going!?" The voice was pissed that we had been ignoring it. With that call Rinoa turned around to confront what was about to come at us. I followed her lead and swiveled around to face him.
I nervously bit the inside of my lip as I stared at the now winded and extremely pissed off Garden administrator.
"Do you know what time it is?" He asked as he tried to compose himself.
Silence from us. "No." I said simply, trying to sound as sober as possible. It didn't work. Didn't even come close to working. He eyed me suspiciously. I looked cooly back into his eyes. He turned his attention to Rinoa.
"Have you been drinking tonight?" He asked. It sounded like he was disgusted, as if we would dare do such a thing on Garden grounds.
"No. No sir. Oh God no. We would never." Rinoa reminded him with a pleasant smile and small giggle as she stepped next to me, brushing my shoulder tenderly with hers. She played sober a lot better than I did. I was going to let her do the talking.
"I don't believe you." He said as he looked between the two of us. He looked to Selphie, still sleeping peacefully on my back, then to me. "What happened?"
"Fell asleep." I answered simply.
"No. She passed out from drinking." It wasn't a question. It was a statement. He smelled right through our lie. I'm sure it wasn't hard at all.
"Sir." Rinoa suddenly exclaimed. Her demeanor changed and if I hadn't seen her consume all that wine, I would have assumed she was completely sober. "We really must be going. Our friend is exhausted and she needs proper rest. The three of us have been training all day and I personally can't even believe I'm standing right now, let alone him." She motioned to me and Selphie. "I'm afraid that if we don't get sleep soon, we will become ill." She said very importantly. It was bullshit. It sounded like bullshit. It was probably one of the worst lies I've ever heard. Who would buy that? Look at what you're wearing! You've been fighting monsters in your pajama shorts and sweater from Dollet? But she said it with such conviction it was hard not to believe her.
The Garden administrator looked satiated with the response.
"... Fine. But I'm still writing you up for being out past curfew." Fuck. But at least we weren't caught being totally waisted. Rinoa and I got detention the next day, but Rinoa managed to persuade the man into excusing Selphie, citing that she was not actually 'up after curfew.'
When we were finally in the dormitory halls we finally dropped our sober acts. I had almost forgotten how messed up I really was.
"That was so hard." Rinoa slurred as she pulled out a card key for her room.
"You were incredible." I could only mumble as I began to feel the weight of Selphie punishing me after all this time.
"I've had so much practice." She said with a smile as she unlocked her door and held it open.
"I have to take Selphie back to her room." I reminded as I slumped even lower to the floor.
"Fuck it. She can pass out here." I took the offer and hobbled into her room. I tossed Selphie onto Rinoa's bed a bit rougher than I had intended. She was like a limp rag doll, weak limbs attached only by even weaker threads rattled around as she hit the bed.
An intense need to sit down crept up through me, starting at my feet and finally bashing my brain in. I slumped to the floor and lied down. "I need to sit do..." I mumbled.
The next thing I knew it was the morning.
--
I examined myself in the bathroom mirror. I looked like death. I had no idea how much sleep I had gotten because I had no idea what time we passed out at. I had no idea what happened after I brought the smack down on the Garden Administrator either. I was still half drunk and it felt like my head was about to explode. Deep purple rings rested under my eyes, reminding me and everyone who might see me that it was a good night, but a bad morning.
I dragged my feet out to my room and I took in the train wreck before me. Squall was splayed out on my floor, snoring softly with a minimal amount of saliva creeping out of the corner of his mouth and onto my carpet.
Selphie lay comatose, a hand resting on her eyes, the other on top of my alarm clock and a leg dangling over the edge of my bed. Her mouth was wide open as if she had gotten bored of snoring and decided to just let her jaw hang in that position.
For some mysterious reason I had woken up in my bathtub, completely soaked. I must have tried to take a shower after I had gotten home... but just forgot to take off my clothes? I had no idea. It was all very strange.
I still felt incredibly weak and exhausted and these wet, heavy clothes weren't helping the situation. I changed slowly and painfully. Every movement hurt. I managed to get dry clothes on and I felt a little better, but nothing significant.
I surveyed the situation in my room again and looked at the time. 8 AM. There's no way I could have gotten more than four hours of sleep. And the second I realized that I felt twice as tired. I moved to my bed and tried to push Selphie over to give me some room, but she wasn't budging. I looked to the floor. It was my only other option. I lied down, expecting some kind of awkward pain but it instead felt oddly refreshing. I guess anything somewhat padded was better than my shower floor.
I woke up later and looked about, the two were still there, sleeping soundly. They had only stirred slightly since I had last seen them. I looked at the clock. 1 PM. Oh my God... What a waisted day. But I felt fathoms more refreshed than earlier, even if I was sleeping on my floor.
The two stirred slightly, as if reacting to my own motion. I stood up and peered out my blinds. The blue sky, chirping birds, blinding sun and happy forest creatures mocked us. Little bastards. I lifted the blinds and light poured in, heating the room instantly. The sun layed across Squall's face and it looked like he was made uncomfortable by it. He mumbled groggily and rolled over and away from the light.
I cracked a window and heat rushed in. What? Why was it so hot? Was it a heat wave? Figures. Hangover days were always blisteringly hot. It was the natural law of getting drunk.
"Oh God..." Selphie mumbled. I looked to her and I saw her eyes slowly blinking the sleep away. She wiped at her mouth, now encrusted with spit and sat up. She leaned back on a hand and held her head with the other. "Oh my God... I feel like shit." She said through a harsh, sickly voice. "What happened last night?"
"What do you last remember?" I asked as I sat on my window sill, trying to suck all the liveliness of the day into my being.
"We were heading to the secret area..." She recalled. She didn't say anything more. That was it? That's seriously all she remembered? What a light weight...
She looked around the room and was about to ask a question but then she caught sight of Squall. Her eyes bulged. There was no way she was expecting to see that the morning after. "Oh shit... I must have missed a lot."
"He carried you back after you passed out." I looked to him. He was still sleeping relatively soundly.
"Shut up. No way." Her grogginess instantly subsided.
"Yeah way." I said as I took a seat next to her on my bed.
"Okay... so tell me how this shit went down." Selphie it seemed had instantly recovered from her hangover.
"We went to the secret area, we ran into Quistis and Squall there-" She cut me off. I figured she would.
"WHAT!?" She practically screamed. I shushed her, reminding her of the sleeping Squall only a few feet from us. She smiled sheepishly. "What? No fucking way. Were they making out or something? Did we interrupt something?" She was sounding like she wanted us to have run into them in the middle of something. She was such a gossip queen.
"No. Quistis left, Squall stayed. I gave him your other bottle of wine and we all proceeded to get trashed. You were being loud as usual until you fell on the floor and passed out." It was a quick synopsis, but it was sufficient.
"Oh..." She sounded dissapointed. "Nothing sexy or scandalous happened?" What did she want me to tell her?
"Um, I tried to make you flash us." We laughed. "And then you dared Squall to flash us, and we tried for, like, 20 minutes to get him to do it."
"Did he do it?" She asked, astonished. I nodded with a coy smile. She gasped and cupped a hand to her mouth. "He must have been so drunk."
"I doubt he remembers much of last night."
"Did he do anything else super stupid?" She was just itching to have more dirt on him.
Yeah. He did, but there was no way in hell I was going to subject him to Selphie's teasing. He admitted his complete and total hatred for Quistis, then he dropped Selphie on her head twice, and made a total ass of himself when that administrator confronted us. If Squall remembered any of that, there was no way in hell he was ever going to be in the same room as me. He'd be so embarrassed.
"No." I said as I shook my head. I had to avoid eye contact with her in order to keep the lie going. Just thinking about last night made me crack up.
I looked over to his sleeping body and it felt like I saw him in a different light. I had a new vantage point on Squall. He didn't feel like a fleeting memory or a fictitious character any longer. He was very real and completely tangible. Not only was he real but the person I used to know him as felt backward and obsolete. He used to seem so reserved, cold and estranged. Now it seemed like he had a little depth to his character. He wasn't just some elusive infamous guy. He was, instead, that unfriendly guy who I had gotten drunk with. Okay, so it wasn't a vast improvement on his depth of character but at least it was something. And I knew from experience that being drunk with a stranger could be a fantastic ice breaker. Not to mention dancing with one.
I had almost completely forgotten the dance we had shared. All the craziness that followed it sort of over shadowed that moment. I couldn't believe I had forgotten to complement him last night. Weird. It's like we had just forgotten and disregarded that dance completely. It seemed like everytime we encountered one another, we were strangers to each other all over again. Each time we met wasn't any less peculiar or awkward than the last. At least last night progress was made.
Squall stirred and our eyes flew towards him. Sort of felt like the moment of truth. He would wake up and then the day could really begin. I kind of wished he wouldn't wake up. It was going to be weird going over the events of the night with him, if he remembered them that is. But I just bit my cheek and beared it. I mean, he would have to wake up eventually.
Squall rolled over to face us and his eyes slowly, painfully opened to the world. He looked miserable already. He sat up and hunched forward and put a hand to his forehead.
"How do you feel?" I asked cautiously, afraid he might snap at me.
"Awful." He grumbled. A momentary silence.
"Food will make you feel better." Selphie said hesitantly and quietly.
"Yeah. Do you want to go get something to eat?" I offered. A silence. That was a 'no.' Well I was hungry so he had to get out of my room on the double. I wasn't gonna just leave him in-
"Yeah." He said, his head still in his hands. I was shocked and stunned at the response. Accepting free booze was one thing, but an invitation to lunch? A totally different story.
Selphie perked up at this. She shot me a look that read complete disbelief and astonishment mixed with overwhelming joy.
"Let's go into town! Let's go to that super cheap burger place. What we all need right now is something disgusting and greasy." Selphie said, springing up off from my bed.
"I can't handle public transportation right now." Squall muttered, remaining in that same pained position as before.
"Don't even worry about it. I have a car." She said with a smile. Squall looked up at her.
"All right." He said as he stood. "Let me get changed." He said as he walked towards the door. He was still stumbling a bit. He must have still been drunk.
"No." I said. He stopped and turned to me curiously. "Half the fun of getting drunk is the morning after! Feeling greasy, eating even greasier food, looking like shit." He looked unconvinced and I could see why. There was really nothing appealing about anything I had just said. "Just trust me."
"... 'Kay." Was all he said, but that was more than enough for me. He was definitely still drunk from last night. There was no way he would agree to any of this on any other day.
Selphie and I, for the most part, were already quite energized at the thought of going to our favorite shitty burger joint. We always needed an excuse to go because we'd just feel like fat asses if we were going just because we were hungry. Being hungover, bombing an exam or being stressed were all perfectly good reasons to go.
The two of us walked briskly to the garage and chatted amiably while Squall fought desperately against his hangover to keep up with our pace. I took quick notice of Squall's pain and slowed my pace. I looked over to him and he looked like he was ready to put a bullet through his brain.
"How are you feeling?" I asked him, his head hanging low as his hair masked most of his face.
He mumbled his reply, sounding something like a 'I'm okay.' It was an unconvincing answer.
"Are you feeling sick?" I tried to get a definitive answer out of him.
"I just need to eat." He answered quite stoically, missing that edge of illness his previous grumble had.
"Oh good." I smiled at him. He looked me in the eyes and though his face gave me no indications, I could tell he was smiling. His eyes had softened and gleamed gently. My smile widened in response. He felt a little more human, a little more sensitive. It felt like I could reach out, touch him and he would react like any normal person would. The physical walls I had felt when I was around him and been razed with just one night of drinking. Realistically, little progress had been made but at the very least, it felt like I could connect with him beyond our few, brief and tepid conversations and cigarettes.
At the burger place Selphie and I had ordered extra large side of fries with our usual hamburgers. Squall, not knowing what to do, followed our example.
"Is it sad that this tastes better after a night of drinking?" Selphie asked as she bit off another portion of the hamburger in her hands.
"Yes. Terribly." I answered as I sipped my soda. I turned to Squall who was zoning out as he relentlessly devoured the food in his hands. He looked like a competitive eater. "You like it?"
He snapped out of his trance and paused his chewing briefly. He seemed like he was taken off guard by my question. He nodded and swallowed.
"Yeah. It wouldn't be good on any other occasion." He said as he placed his food back onto its plate. What? Talking? Explanation?? It was a parallel universe.
"Exactly!" Selphie practically screamed, snatching the opportunity to engage Squall in some kind of conversation. He looked startled by her exclamation.
"You could give a baby a heart attack with the amount of grease dripping off of this." I picked up what was left of my hamburger and looked to the plate which was now a small lake of heart clogging juice.
We chuckled a little, and went straight back to our food.
"Well, well, well..." A voice spoke from the head of our table. We all looked up and Zell was standing there, looking just as disheveled as the three of us. "Looked what the cat dragged in." He smiled as he tutted us.
"Cat dragged your grimy ass in too, Zell." Selphie reminded as she pulled at his pajama pants.
"Yeah well, I-" He stopped suddenly as his eyes landed on Squall. I figured he'd make a big show of Squall being here with us. He was the same as Selphie after all. The two stared back at each other. Zell in awe and disbelief, and Squall in curiosity and irritation. I had to defuse the situation immediately.
"Zell, this is Squall. Squall, Zell." I introduced. Zell, realizing what he had just been doing, laughed nervously and produced a hand for a shake. Squall shook his hand lamely.
"Nice to meet yah, man." Zell said with a big smile.
Squall merely nodded. Zell was a bit much to deal with, especially for someone who was as hungover as Squall was.
"How did your night go, sir?" Selphie said, eyeing him suspiciously, lifting an eye brow as she leaned toward him.
Zell had asked some library girl to go with him at the last minute. He didn't want to go with the two of us because he thought it made him look 'gay.' How a girl on each arm would make Zell look like a homosexual was beyond our understanding, probably even to him. But he insisted that if the ratio of men to women was too one sided than it would look like the fewer numbered sex had same sex tendencies. I called him a big dumb ass and Selphie punched him in the arm so hard it gave him a welt. He probably just made up some elaborate story so we wouldn't tease him about asking a girl to the dance.
"Awesome." He said coyly with an impish smile. He tossed his head over to the counter where his date was picking up her food.
"Did you two get down and dirty?" I teased as I leaned in with Selphie.
"Was it passionate? Were you two wrapped in each other's arms screaming with ecstasy as you two went at it?" Selphie asked, being over the top as she ran her fingers through her hair.
"Selphie. They didn't just 'go at it.'" I reprimanded mockingly. I turned to Zell. "They made love." I said with a smirk.
"Shut up." Zell blushed furiously.
"Sweet, passionate love." Selphie said with a laugh. She turned to me. "It's all just so romantic and ever so sexy."
"God, I know. Zell, you're a sex god." I said.
"This is totally why I didn't go with you two last night." He glared at the two of us being quite severe. But his beat red face cancelled out any seriousness he may have intended.
"Psh, I knew that whole 'gay' story was bullshit." Selphie said with a sad shake of her head.
Zell's library girl walked over to us and smiled.
"These are my friends," He said turning to her, "but right now they're riding the crimson wave so we're going to ignore them." She gave him a confused looked but he dragged her away before she could ask anymore questions.
"He hates us." Selphie said nonchalantly as she picked up her hamburger again.
"He could never." I said as I turned to Squall who looked absolutely bewildered. "Teasing Zell is one of our many recreational activities." I explained. He nodded as if he understood but it was easy enough to tell that he was still a little perplexed.
We were driving back to Garden when I remembered our dance last night. I turned from the passenger seat to the back seat where Squall was zoning out.
"Hey. I completely forgot to compliment you on the dance last night." I said with a smile. "You were really good... when you wanted to be that is." I smirked at that last part.
"You too." He said with a nod. A brief silence. "Um, thank you for stumbling drunkenly into the secret area." That was a little unexpected from him.
"Don't mention it." I said with a wave of my hand. I decided not to pry further.
"Why?" Selphie piped up, looking in her rear view mirror back to him. Of course Selphie would dig deeper if I hadn't.
"Conversations with Quistis are... painful." He said as he looked out the window again. It was said with a certain amount of finality that I knew Selphie wouldn't dare try prying again.
I couldn't believe how much he had agreed to and how much he had said in the past 24 hours. Dancing, socializing, answering questions. I had just started turning Squall's key and I didn't want to stop. I wanted to know everything about him. I wanted to push the lid off and go free falling into whatever was inside. I had had a taste and now I wanted it all. He was such a wonderful mystery. He wasn't like others. With others once you got to a certain point, all of the answers open up to you and you end up knowing everything about them. But with him, it felt like with every step I took, another step lit up before me, drawing me closer to more information. It wasn't incredible information by any means, but that's what made it so interesting. What was he hiding behind all of that excess, frivolous information? It was something amazing. Squall was really something special, I could tell...