It's been forever since I've updated, and this one is kind of short, but I'm hoping once things settle down I will be able to write more! So sorry for the lack of updates!
Hope you enjoy!

Kurt tried to prioritize this list of questions running through his head, but it seemed as if his mind was running on two separate tracks. He knew he needed to talk this through with Blaine, yet his mind had gone all fuzzy. Blaine's face was just centimeters from his own, so close that it made it nearly irresistible to stop, even just for a moment.

"I don't want to take advantage of you," Kurt backed away a little further, trying to untangle his thoughts from his racing heart. "And we should probably work out what we are."

Blaine sat back as well, resting his head on one of the pillows behind him. "What do you mean?"

"You know…like, am I your boyfriend?"

Blaine's breath caught in his throat, and for a moment, his heart stopped beating. The realization of what he'd done seemed to hit him full force. His stomach turned over and he felt himself start to panic.

"What did I just do?" He hugged his legs to his chest and buried his face in between his arms. "Kurt, I can't…" he tried to breath but he couldn't. "I can't…"

"It's okay," Kurt leaned forward to touch him. "That's why we're going to talk about it," he took Blaine's hands in his own and tried to unclench them, running his thumb in sleepy circles across Blaine's wrists.

The two of them sat there for another hour. It was a progression of one step forward, two steps back; each time Blaine seemed to calm down, something would go off in his head—words he had heard from his parents, something he had read, reminders that what he was doing was wrong. Kurt was patient with him, stroking his hair and wiping away his tears until there was nothing left to cry.

"I'd like to be your boyfriend," Kurt said softly. "But I know you might not be ready for that right now, so if you aren't, or if you don't want to, I totally understand."

"Kurt…my parents..." Blaine tried to think of a way to explain this, but it was too big, too heavy, to encompass with one word. "They wouldn't be okay with this."

"Have you tried to talk to them? I know that sometimes people can change for those that they love. I know my dad wasn't thrilled to find out I was gay; I mean, he had always wanted someone would play football and fix cars with him. But he loves me and he's willing to accept me—"

"No," Blaine shook his head, starting to feel angry. "Why aren't you getting this? My parents aren't like yours Kurt. They love me now, but it's all conditional. The minute I told them it would all go away. They can't love someone like…someone like that. It's wrong in their eyes...it's wrong in my eyes, Kurt."

"How can you say that?" Kurt reached out to touch him again. "I know you liked it just as much as I did. How can you say it's wrong?"

"Because it is," Blaine felt dizzy. He was sick of trying to explain things. He just wanted Kurt to understand. "It's wrong to have feelings for you, Kurt."

"What's wrong with it?" He snapped, surprised at how angry he sounded.

Blaine just sat there.

"I…I don't know," he said finally.

Kurt's room wasn't like any boy's room Blaine had ever seen. It was painted an elegant grey color, the tables, chairs, and bed all a dark, rich black. The bedspread and pillows were ivory; a long mirror hung on one end of the room, covered in magazine clippings and Polaroid pictures.

Blaine felt nervous being in Kurt's room. Something about it was so…intimate. It was seeing a whole different side of Kurt, like opening a box of secrets. Kurt waved his hand across the room, gesturing for Blaine to sit down.

"Make yourself comfortable. I'll go grab so extra blankets and stuff."

He disappeared for a moment, leaving Blaine alone. Cautiously, he sat down on the bed. It was soft, the blankets rising around Blaine and molding his body. They smelled like Kurt. He closed his eyes and turned his cheek flat against the pillow, breathing in the sweet, airy smell. Something felt funny, hard and stiff. Blaine sat up, puzzled, and slowly reached under the pillow. His hand came in contact with something—a journal. Kurt's journal.

Blaine sat there for a moment. He wanted to open it, to peek at it, to flip through it and search for his name. But he couldn't. He could just imagine how he would feel if someone did that to him. There was no way—

Kurt stepped back into the room, blankets and pillows spilling out of his arms. His eyes landed on Blaine, who immediately dropped the journal onto the bed.

"I'm sorry, Kurt. I swear I didn't—" he stammered, trying to apologize before Kurt got angry.

Kurt just stood there for a moment, his eyes flickering from the journal to Blaine and then back again. Slowly, carefully, he set the blankets down and made his way over to where Blaine was sitting. Blaine could feel his cheeks flush.

"I didn't read anything, I promise. I could feel it under the pillow and I wanted to see what it was so I—"

Kurt picked it up and turned it around in his hands before holding it out to Blaine.

"No," he said, his voice soft and almost scared. "I'm glad you found it. There is some stuff in here that maybe you should read. If you want to, of course," he said quickly.

Blaine felt himself reach out, his fingers wrapping around the spine of the book.

"Maybe…maybe when you get home?" It came out sounding like a question.

Blaine nodded and held the journal close to his chest, feeling his heartbeat reverberate against it.

"I want you to know," Kurt whispered, biting his lip a little. "That I'm here for you, okay? It was hard for me too, and one of the hardest parts was that I felt like there was no one who understood what I was going through. I want you to know that while I may not understand exactly what you're going through, I do understand how hard it is and how brave you are."

Blaine felt his eyes pinch the way they did before he would start crying. God, that's probably all Kurt thought he did. He hastily wiped his eyes on the back of his sleeve.

"Whatever we are, whatever we end up becoming, I hope you know that I care about you."

Blaine nodded, not trusting himself to speak. After a moment he cleared his throat.

"What's inside the journal?"

Kurt smiled a sad sort of smile and reached out for Blaine's hand.

"My story. The good and the bad, the nice and the ugly. Maybe it will bring you some courage."