Alex spent the entire night unable to sleep. The fabric of his shirt seemed to crinkle uncomfortably against his skin in a way that it never had before. The small of his back felt tense and painful. Unshed tears seemed to fester around his eyes, making his lids feel swollen and weak. As he lay in bed, forcing himself not to gaze upon Sean's form rising and falling upon the bed across from his, sleep seemed many miles away.
As the first beams of light made their way through small holes in the worn curtains, Sean stirred. Alex watched through half-closed eyes as the other man rose, carefully sliding the blankets off his limbs. Sean had changed since the day of their meeting. Countless missions and training in the Danger Room had given him new muscle. His face, once round with youth, had become harder, his features more defined. An air of confidence brought on by his new-found status as a protector—if not a hero—and the teachings of Charles Xavier sat upon him like an elaborate brocade robe. It straightened his back, held his head aloft and transformed the small steps he once took with trepidation into the long strides of a king. And yet, on the rare occasions when Alex allowed himself to stare into the his old friend's eyes—those wide child's eyes, all innocence and good intentions—Alex knew that he was the same man, the same Sean.
"Alex," Sean whispered, unbuttoning his pyjama top, "Alex, are you awake?" Alex said nothing, keeping his eyes but barely open. Instinctively, Alex knew what Sean was about to do and, as he gazed upon his friend, such passion in his eyes and excitement in his features, realized that there was nothing to be done. Alex could not stand to see Sean unhappy; not irritated or downcast with some small frustration—Alex had become quite used to these moods by now and expected them from the other man—but truly unhappy, guilt, sadness or anger imbued in every corner of his existence, as he no doubt would have been had Alex disturbed him in this act. No, Alex thought, he'd confront Sean upon his return.
Seeming to decide that Alex was asleep and sliding on a shirt, Sean turned his attention to the letter. Picking it up and giving it a final examination (Alex suspected that he was checking for mistakes in the carefully printed address) Sean gingerly tucked the envelope under his arm, shot Alex one last lingering glance and left the room, still wearing his pyjama pants. Generally, if not entirely secluded from civilization, Xavier's School was hardly ready destination for the postal service. Therefore, Alex realized, even with one of Hank's modified cars, Sean would have to drive a good few miles to the nearest post office. It could be near noon before he came back. Slowly climbing out of bed, Alex watched from the window as Sean drove away. No matter how much Alex told himself otherwise, as he caught a glimpse of Sean's empty bed out of the corner of his eye, it seemed to him that his…his friend was already long gone.
A feeling of guttural, almost unearthly heat began to stir up inside the pit of Alex's stomach as he remembered holding Sean's hand in the hospital as they waited for news of the Professor's condition; their very first training session in the Danger Room, fumbling over every obstacle with uncontrolled excitement; how they held a party in honor of Ororo's induction into the X-Men and nearly botched the entire event with their drunken antics; how Sean's accent—now softened by his years in the United States—gave the impression that his every sentence was a song; the innocence that seemed as much a part of him as his hair or his eyes, making him so frustratingly oblivious to the way Alex felt about him.
Taking a deep breath in order to avoid the accidental use of his abilities, Alex reminded himself that it wouldn't do to miss someone who had not yet left…and that it would probably be a good idea to put on his chest plate if these emotions continued to fester within him. "He'll come back," Alex whispered to himself, "even if his letter goes through…even if they accept him…he'll come back…even if it's just for today, he'll come back…"