Hey guys! My fever's gone, and my colds almost gone, so I'm back on! By the way, I made a mistake with the chapter preview. That's actually the preview for chapter 2. Oops, forgot the disclaimer.
I do not own the 39 clues, nor any of the characters (though to be honest I wish I did).
I entered the school, keeping my head downcast, not ready to meet people after being gone so long. When I finally looked up, I saw Dan and Madison in front of me, at their lockers. As I watched Dan and Madison by their lockers at school, I really began to think. I began to think about my life.
My whole life, I've wondered whether I'd ever earn my place in the world. I mean, I'm just another person, someone who doesn't really matter. Sure, I'm a Tomas and a part of the Cahill family, but that doesn't really mean much. When you're part of a family of people who don't think ballet is a sport, or think that wearing skirts makes you soft. Just once, I'd like to be accepted.
I do okay in school, scrape by with Bs and Cs, but I'm no Ekat. And I do okay in sports, but I'm somewhat weaker after the Vesper attack. I can't hold out as long. And that means that the people who once thought I was amazing, don't care anymore. They move on, right to the next person in line. In my life, that person is Madison, my twin sister.
I know my family worried during the Vesper attack, and I know they worry about me now, but Madison has taken over. I'm no longer a top athlete, or a great sport. I get tired and hurt. She never gets tired or hurt. She's always been a top athlete, and since I've fallen, she's gotten better. She blocks out all the sun that used to fall on me. And that hurts.
The fact that she got Dan too, well, that hurts more than losing the spotlight. I can handle a little loss, but now...I seem to have lost everything. Everything I really want, that is.
Sometimes, I just wish Madison would disappear. I know, I sound crazy, wishing my twin sister and best friend would disappear, but sometimes, I really wish she would. Even if she did, though, I'd still have to deal with Natalie.
Natalie Kabra, or Cobra, as Dan likes to say, likes him, too. And she's rich, so, of course she'd get him if Madison disappeared. She's smart, pretty, actually beautiful, and she's very persuasive. She'd win him over for sure if Madison left the scene.
If only I wasn't so stuck in the background. If only I had a chance. If only...I could be given one try, one chance to prove it. But I'm not given one. And I have to deal with it. Even though it's heart breaking.
My heart's been broken before, and I don't want it broken again. But even that can't stop Dan's slowly crushing my heart into the dust. And even a miracle couldn't stop my heart from breaking now. Not even a miracle.
As I slowly woke myself from my thoughts, I realized how much thinking about your life hurts. I shivered and shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts from it. I looked up slowly. The hall was empty. Madison and Dan, and all the other students had disappeared while I wasn't looking.
I was alone. I was completely alone. Alone in the world, alone in my life, alone in my thoughts. Even alone in the most public place I knew of. And that realization hurt me more than my thoughts did.
As I slowly made my way to class, I tried to think of other things, but my throat was tight, my head was spinning, and in my mind, the same words repeated over and over. 'I'm alone. I'm alone. Always alone. Forever alone. Always to be alone. I'm alone.' And then, I lost the world completely as I closed my eyes and slumped to the floor. Alone, forever, or for a while, at least.