A/N So, yeah – quite a bit of time between updates. Almost four years. It's not like I haven't been thinking about this fic, and I have been writing a little here and there (though not always this fic, despite having started this chapter and nearly finished another all those years ago). I just fell out of the habit of writing and updating regularly. Part of it was this chapter giving me problems, and part of it was forgetting to have fun with the act of writing (instead of looking at it as work because I felt it needed to be done), though mostly it was just me getting lazy. I'm going to try and stop doing that.
But, I'd like to ask a favor of all the people who read my stuff. I want to know what everyone's favorite Beast Boy & Raven comics are (I've read several on deviant art). They can be funny pages style or comic book or anything as long as it's a story told in picture form. And yes, jokes and puns in single panels count as stories for this. Responses will need to be sent in a private message as FFN doesn't allow links to be in reviews, they're automatically removed. Oh, and good luck with the disclaimer. :-)
Disclaimer – EkjpigZAfnBMoDEHlRstUVqWXCY, BzTCqeDViJmynOhKPslUFWXrgA, CaBFeDJignhKWlmOPqrusTVXyz, STUPidwOrKGAvEMYzbcFhJlnqx, wpdCzbeingwHatyoujrklmqfsvx, AZByCxDWEvfugtHsiRjqkploMn, aBCDeFghiJKlmnOPqrsTuVWXyz, cAREFulTVsbdJKMigHnPyqwOXz, ZxJFKUncOPYriGhTAblESqdvMw, BREAktHisCfgjpuqyMvxnzDoWl, PUbvExiNgFJOrdschMALTzYqwK, WDBFYoUrEAgiMPChZKVLNqstXj, zyxWvutsRqponMlkjiHgfEDCBA, zCBAFEDghjLKiMoNrqsPUtVWYX, FCgDAEBhijYNXsMoKPrtVULqWz, AbYZcdwxEFUvGhSTiJqrKlOPMn, gARfiElDsuCkzWoMBjnpqtvHxy, BiglosERpAntYDUCkXHjzfqVMW, youCAntBEDfigsHjklMpqRvWxz, abCdefGhIjKLMNsPOrKqTUvwxYz, bOdYhJKlMPqTvAcEwxzSUrFinG, pqsTVWXzyougirLeMaNBCDFhjk, nmolpkqjrishtgufveWdxcybZa, AEFHJKMOPRTVXbcdgilnqsuwyz, AzFLgUKYMbNJOhPEriqcsdTxwv, NewjObfIxMrGLUCKshazYTvPdq, AlBkCfgDHjoMtpsiunqvWxEyzR, cmxeyWgjtoRfsunvdZkabqphli, BDCVEtfRHniljpkgMXqAsoUYzW, ratedpgmbfjknoqsuvwxyzilCH, liqUORsBaDcFgHJKMPvxYZwenT, LJMFNDPCRBUAXKsezgyhwivotq, AzBtCsDqEpHoMnRlUkVjWiXgYf, aeiouyBCDFghJKlmnPqrsTVWXz, dELTAiONbUshYcFgJKMPqrvwxZ, icUTMYSElFAndGrOwbhJKPqvxz, BaKeDFiTlOgCuPrmJqsVznWhXy, AlOEsbRigHTJuMPycdnqwFKVXZ, FaliCyquOTerBDghJKmnPsVWXz, AeBgChDiFoJqKsLtMvNwPyRUXZ, aBCDeFghijkLsTuMpyNoqrVWXz, XraysPeCKzDFgJTuBlmqVOnihW, MYDUcKisalOneRBFHJPTgqvwxz, gjqrtzBFVWXYisLANDhoMEPUCK, ABCDEHMRW, bcdghiqrsvwxz, gkjCHBpDtzsVfAEilMnoXqRUWY, AbcdEFGhiJKlMnSTOPqrUvwxYz, TUKVWAXYBCDNOPEFghijlmqrsz, aefghIjklnopqrstuvxyZBCDMW
A Year In The Life – April – Now comes the mystery. (Henry Ward Beecher)
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Everyone in the room was staring at the same person. That same, small, green person stood in a way that showed his burning desire to magically fade into the wall he had his back against. Starfire's harsh gaze seemed to bare down on the elf the hardest because it was the one he'd hardly ever seen. Raven was merely glaring at the boy the way she always did when he deserved it.
Hunkered in the basement as they all were, it was unlikely TV would save Beast Boy as he had desperately hoped.
"Why would you even do something like that, Beast Boy?" Robin said, shifting on the stack of boxes he was sitting on. "Didn't you realize it was going to stink up the whole house?"
Beast Boy looked sideways at their leader and then back down again. "Dude, I totally don't remember even doing it!"
"But you're not saying you didn't."
"No, I'm saying I…might…not…" His voice trailed off as he looked around for someone, anyone, who'd come to his rescue. He stayed quiet when no one did.
"Look, man. If you can remember what you did, that cleaning crew upstairs can get done faster and we can all go cool down."
Beast Boy gave a bad attempt at a smile and let it drop. Cyborg always did watch out for him when he was down; even when it was his own fault. "But I don't…"
"Yeah, I know you don't remember, but can you remember anything about some prank trap that never went off, anything at all?"
Beast Boy shook his head. "I don't even know who it was supposed to get. I mean, I'm the one with the best nose, so…"
"Let's just start at the beginning." Robin said looking like the sleuth he was trained to be. "It started this morning some time after I woke up. Tell us everything you did this morning."
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"Kay, I was asleep in my bed, right? And I'm having this great dream about tricking Cyborg into eating tofu when this funky smell wakes me up.
"I opened my eyes and the smell was like this big monster coming at me from everywhere in my room. I did my best to fight it off by kicking and punching it whenever it got close to the bed, but in the end it was too strong for me and I had to run for the door before it caught me and made me a zombie slave.
"So I jump for the door, hit the button and run outside, locking it the second I'm through. The smell wasn't as bad in the hall, but it started coming out from under my door and when I started running away again I saw that it was coming out from under ALL the doors!
"I ran as fast as I could for Cy, not cause I was scared, but you know, to warn him! When I saw him in the kitchen he was spraying air freshener like he was supposed to breath it, but the smell monster was too strong! It just kept coming!
"When Cy's spray can was empty we ran for the basement and then you guys came in and everybody thinks the smell monster is my fault only I don't remember doing anything to make smell monsters!"
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Everyone stared slightly dumbfounded at the changeling. "A smell monster?" Robin asked, quirking an eyebrow.
"Dude! It totally was! It was all big and brown and green and evil!"
"And it was going to turn you into a zombie?"
"What else would it do?"
"Yeah." The urge to roll his eyes left a palpable taste in Robin's mouth. "Why don't I tell everyone what I saw happening this morning?"
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"Okay, at six thirty I got out of bed, and went into the bathroom to get cleaned-up for the day. Six fifty-seven I went into the kitchen and grabbed a cup of coffee. We need to buy more filters.
"Seven twenty-three I met Starfire in the hall for our morning workout. She went and grabbed the last few Easter eggs for her breakfast, shells and all.
"Seven thirty-seven we went outside and started with a warm-up on the obstacle course's easy mode. Star's flying is faster than last week. After, we each took a couple turns going against the course on seven. I need to practice single-hand plants at odd angles more; double hand plants are slowing me down. Starfire broke her old course record by three tenths of a second.
"Eight forty we took a quick swim to cool down and then came in for an early lunch. It looked like it was going to be the first really hot day of the year, but it was nice and cool inside.
"Nine fifteen we both started to notice the smell on the elevator ride up to the main floor. It got worse as we got higher so we exited on the floor below. I checked my com to locate everyone else. Seeing that everyone had congregated in the basement, we made our way back down.
"Nine twenty-one we called the cleaning crew in to get rid of the stink on the way down here. Upon our arrival I noted Beast Boy's look of guilt and Raven and Cyborg's looks of anger and annoyance. The cleaning crew arrived at ten on the dot."
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"At least we know Rob still never switches off," Cyborg said with a grin. "That was like reading one of your police reports."
"Hey, it's just how I take things in. Besides, it gets me the little stuff that gets forgotten or missed."
"But, Robin, you have forgotten some of the day's events! I shall…make the blanks full for you."
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"I awoke with Silkie cuddling me to receive his morning meal. I provided the necessary sustenance and gave him a bath to wash off the berries. I have great fun watching him splash about.
"After I had done the showering for myself I went to meet Robin. We have been training together lately because he has not been able to take me on as many dates as I would prefer. He has explained that this allows us to mix business and pleasure though I am unsure what business we are conducting, though I have guessed that Robin means the business of the Titans.
"Robin greeted me in his usual way and after I had eaten and taken some mustard for a snack we went to train while the sun continued to rise. I enjoyed the warmth as we practiced the dodging. Robin tripped about halfway through and I am sure it was because he was looking at me, though he has denied it. I do not mind.
"My turn on the course was fast because of Robin's promise – that we would see a movie tonight if I achieved a good time. His face did the blushing when I finished because I told him he had to provide me with more than just the movie because I was triumphant over my best previous time.
"When Robin went for his turn I told him he could pick where we would go for the dining if he were to also place a fast time. He was victorious over his best by three seconds and I was most impressed and hugged him. He is very good at the hugging.
"The swimming was most refreshing and Robin is very good at the laps. We had a race and I was able to win, though I am the cheat because I was using my flying and do not need to breath under the water.
"While we were in the elevator we were doing the kissing and did not notice the odor until we were almost to the main floor. Robin stopped the elevator, found all of you, and said we should join you in the basement. I was not as upset about the odor because it does not smell like it is horrible. It smells like my home's food of glunka, though I have always hated its taste.
"When I arrived into the basement with Robin I saw the looks of anger on Cyborg and Raven and realized that Beast Boy must have done a klorbag thing. I was angered because Robin wasn't going to do the kissing in front of everyone else."
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"Did you have to tell them about the kissing, Star? I thought we agreed to keep it just between us." Robin mumbled.
"I did not do the kissing with anyone else. And, should they not be happy for us? I have understood that finding one you like is special."
Robin sighed trying to ignore Cyborg's smirk. "It is, I just get…I don't know…I'm shy about letting them know." He said quietly, gesturing to the others.
Starfire looked from Robin to the still smiling trio who had briefly forgotten Beast Boy's guilt or innocence and then back to Robin again. "I shall do repairs." She then glided over to the others, her face neutral. "If I speak of these things about Robin and I, you will be respectful."
Cyborg grinned a little, "Hey, no proble…"
"Or I shall be very angry." She said rather intensely, her eyes glowing fiercely.
Beast Boy peeked out from behind Raven's cloak where he had suddenly hidden. "Hey, Cy? How 'bout you tell us what YOU saw this morning, 'kay?"
Cyborg stepped back Starfire, clearing his throat, "Good idea."
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"Oooookay, so I finished charging at six like usual. I passed Raven in the hall on my way to the gym and she asked if there was anything I wanted to add to the shopping list since it was her turn to put it together. I made sure she added on another side of bacon, a ham, burgers, hotdogs, and those little cans of Vienna sausages.
"I focused on my legs for my workout doing squats, lunges, leg lifts, and leg curls. I totally crushed my best in all of them because those new servos I designed are seriously powerful. I need to whip up another batch for my upper torso, but that might take a while because they have to be a little bit smaller and I haven't got the parts for that yet.
"I went and found Raven again so she could add the stuff I'd need to her shopping list and I turned on the AC so it wouldn't get hot.
"After I talked with her I went and started to make my famous four course, super meat, awesome breakfast extravaganza; I always make it just before somebody goes shopping. As I was getting the eggs off the stove, taking in a big whiff because of the garlic I'd added to them, I got the first hints of that stank that's upstairs.
"I started sniffing around, but I couldn't figure out where it was coming from because it was like it was coming from everywhere. It was in the kitchen, and the living room, and even seemed like it was coming from the hall.
"I grabbed that flower smell spray stuff we use when Star cooks and gave it a try. It's pretty strong, so it worked for a little bit and I went back to start eating my eggs and stuff, but the smell just came back. I gave a bigger spray of the stuff, got a few bites in and had to spray some more.
"It kept building like that until I was standing there, spraying and spraying and that's when Beast Boy came in. He was screaming something about how the stank ball must have come alive and my can of spray ran out, so we bolted for the elevator and just hit buttons at random. Since the basement didn't stink we just stayed when we ended up here.
"I asked Beast Boy if he knew what the heck had happened and found out he didn't know what was going on, but when I asked what he thought it could be, he came up with the prank idea pretty much instantly. Since I know I didn't do it and since nobody else really pulls pranks but him and me I asked if it was him.
"He just looked guilty and kept saying how he didn't remember doing it, but the more he sat there thinking about it, the guiltier he looked. I didn't notice Raven come in, but when you guys got here, it just seemed like we all knew what happened."
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Beast Boy slunked down farther against the wall. He'd been sure that Cyborg would offer something that might not make it look like his fault. He looked up at the last of his accusers, the faintest of hope in his eyes, but Raven was hardly one to cut him a break.
She only told as much of the truth as she was comfortable with, but she detested lies, especially her own. "Just get it over with, Rae."
"Fine."
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"I woke up at five, got showered and dressed. I ate some toast and a little bit of my Easter candy for breakfast. Since it's my turn to make the shopping list I decided to get it done quickly.
"I did the usual check for the basics in the kitchen and the pantry – mustard for Starfire, tofu for Beast Boy, unhealthy amounts of meat for Cyborg. I've already got coffee filters on the list, Robin. Beast Boy's candy was on the counter, so I took a few pieces. He'd offered yesterday so I thought it'd be okay.
"I'd finished up in there and was heading for the bathrooms when I bumped into Cyborg. He added everything, like he said, and I took it back off because we don't have room in the fridge for it all. But since he decided to try and eat a small farm, I'll put it back.
"I finished up checking the bathrooms for what they'd need, but I couldn't leave because apparently Robin's usual way of greeting Starfire is to make out with her for ten minutes or so. I had a few of those mints Cyborg hides behind the towels while I waited. We all knew about them, Cyborg.
"After the bathrooms, I was checking the med-bay. Cyborg came in and added another long list of stuff, though this time I left it. The AC came on while I was still working, so I hurried up before it got too cold. For some reason we have lollipops in there. I grabbed a couple.
"I was just heading into the laundry room when I started to notice the odor. I thought it was an unwashed load of clothes Beast Boy or Robin hadn't done yet, so I kept working on the list. The smell got worse and I brought my cloak up to block it out so I could finish and get out of there. I ate a few cinnamon disks to try and get the smell out of my nose.
"Of course, as soon as I was outside the laundry room again I noticed I could still smell whatever it was and I caught of glimpse of Beast Boy and Cyborg running for the elevators. I just phased through a few walls and followed them down to see if they were laughing about some stupid prank or just trying to get away from that stuff like I was.
"I heard them talking and drifted in behind Cyborg. I guess he couldn't hear me chewing on the last of the lollipops I got from the infirmary. Beast Boy really did look pretty guilty, but I'm not sure he really did it. I can't feel any lies coming off of him and he's feeling pretty bad about it. It still seems like something he might do."
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Everyone was staring at Raven as she finished and she eyed them suspiciously when it didn't stop. "What?"
"You're a sugar junky." Said Cyborg. "You don't think I did it?" Said Beast Boy.
Raven looked briefly between the two. "I'm not a sugar junky. And, I said I'm not sure you did it."
"You've been eating candy all morning." Said Cyborg. "What does that mean?" said Beast Boy.
Raven sighed deeply. "It means that I won't be surprised if somebody else did it, but that you're still the most likely suspect. And I'm not a sugar junky, Cyborg. That's just the way I eat."
"So who's the second suspect?" said Beast Boy "Huh?" said Cyborg.
"I eat small meals and then I just grab whatever's around in between. Easter was last week, so we've got a lot of candy right now. And Cyborg's my second guess. Now stop talking at the same time!" said Raven. She turned slightly wearily to their leader. "Please tell me you've got this figured out since Beast Boy doesn't remember a thing."
Robin, standing quietly next to Starfire, was looking contemplative. Contemplative soon changed to smug, but smug rapidly gave way to embarrassed. "Uh, yeah. I think I've got it. Give me a sec." He said as he quickly left the room.
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Half an hour later Robin was ushering everyone into a very fresh and clean smelling common room, still looking like he'd just been caught kissing Starfire.
"So, like I said, I got it figured out, but first I want to ask something. What were each of you going to suggest for Beast Boy's punishment?"
"No video games for a week." Cyborg answered and the changeling's ears drooped. "Laundry duty for everyone's bedding." Said Raven and Beast Boy started to frown. "He shall do the taste testing for my food and not complain." Starfire added in and he groaned.
"And I would've made him pay for the cleaning crew which would have nearly wiped out his moped fund."
"Dude! My nest egg!" Beast Boy's face took on the look of someone who knew he was getting what he deserved, but wished he weren't.
"What do you mean 'would have'?" Raven said.
Robin slouched as he said, "Beast Boy isn't in trouble. He didn't do it." And before anyone could voice disagreement or ask who had ruined their day he added, "I did."
"It was because of Easter. We really went all out this year. Beast Boy and Cyborg picked up all that candy, and Raven set up the baskets. We all decorated eggs, and I hid them."
Robin smiled a little painfully. "I guess I hid one or two a little too well. They weren't ever found. Well, I know where they were." He paused to see if anybody else had a guess, since no one spoke he continued. "The air intake for the AC. When Cy turned it on this morning, they must have rolled down the shaft a little and fallen. They broke open and since they'd been there for over a week they were pretty rotten. The intake then shoved all of that stench into the rest of this floor. The elevator shaft is how it was starting to get to the other floors, but we don't have AC in the basement, which is why it never got there."
"Once I told the cleaners what had happened they were able to get rid of it all pretty quick. Since I'm the one who caused it, and not Beast Boy, I'll take the punishment we would've given him." Robin finally looked over to the green teen. "I'm really sorry I thought it was you, Beast Boy."
Beast Boy just sat there, his face twitching between relief, outrage, sympathy, and a score of other emotions. "So, I'm not in trouble. You're all sorry." He waited for everyone to nod. "You get all the punishments. And you did it on accident?"
Robin smiled weakly. "Looks like it."
"Lame." Beast Boy then rounded on the rest of the team. "I'd only get in trouble like that if it was on purpose. I think you should cut all that stuff down by half and that everybody else should help you by covering the other half."
"So, three days without video games, only two other people's bedding for laundry duty, less of Starfire's food, and only pay for half the cleaning crew?"
"Sure. I totally call helping with laundry duty."
"No video games." Called Raven, raising her hand.
"I shall help pay for the cleaning." Starfire then leaned in closer to Robin. "This is like doing the Dutch, yes?" Robin nodded, smiling.
Cyborg was smiling at how everything had turned out. "Hey, man, I'm sorry I thought it was you. If it makes you feel any better, I thought it would have been a pretty awesome prank to have pulled if it hadn't almost ruined the whole tower."
Beast Boy just laughed. "Dude, that doesn't do a thing to make it better, but you having to be Star's other guinea pig does!" The look of horror on Cyborg's face erased the misery of the entire day for Beast Boy.
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If anyone can actually crack the code at the top of this fic I will mail them ten dollars of actual American money. It's not that I believe none of you could crack it; I just don't think anyone is willing to put in the time it would take. If you take a guess, be sure to explain how the code works in addition to your answer for what it says. I'll put the code's solution in the last author's note if it isn't cracked before the last chapter is put up (which means you should all have plenty of time). Brownie point for anyone who can guess the meaning behind my separator bars. (If they show up, that is.)