(A/N) With half my mind out to sea and half on shore I find myself thinking of times when both my halves were whole. In the end my time is not my own and the world wishes me harm. I strive to find my way back home again if I only knew which way to go.
Disclaimer – The French have a saying, actually they have a lot of them, but this particular one goes: Les absents ont toujours tort.
A Year In The Life – December – Every gift from a friend is a wish for your happiness. (Richard Bach)
.. / -.. - -. .-. - / - .- -. / - ... . / - . . -. / - .. - .- -. ... .-.-.- / .. / - .- -. / .- / .-. .- .. .-. / - ..-. / ... ... - . ... .-.-.-
Cyborg was walking down the hall intent on brushing his teeth with acid and gargling a bucket of mouthwash. Beast Boy had dared him to try his new meat substitute claiming that it was perfect. Dirty, lying, green weed had made the toxic concoction himself and was using his meat loving ways to test it.
His way was suddenly impeded by Starfire looking both cheerful and sad. Her ability to show everything she was going through no matter how conflicting it might seem was impressive. "What's up, Star?"
She smiled then looked sheepish. "I have been tasked as the keeper of secret Santas this year. I have just had Robin pull a name from the hat of Claus and I know that you will not be happy with the name that is left. You are the last to draw."
"Aw, man. Did I get Beast Boy again? I get him every year!"
"No, Beast Boy has already been selected by another. I would have made Robin do the choosing again, but he seemed very happy with his choice."
Cyborg grinned. "He got you?"
Starfire nodded, fighting her own smile.
"If it's Rob, he's impossible to shop for. He never wants anything, and if he does, he just gets it himself."
"Robin has also already been picked from the hat."
Her blush said enough for Cyborg to know exactly who'd drawn that one. "Raven? She's not hard. A couple of gift cards for Barnes and Noble and she's set."
And here is where Starfire started to look very disappointed in her job as official keeper of the names for their annual secret Santa drawing. "No, Raven is also already chosen."
"Wait, you mean, me? Mine's the only name left?"
"It is not as bad as it seems!" She wanted to desperately to placate him. "I have been doing the thinking and I believe that you will turn this to your benefit."
Cyborg crossed his arms and gave Starfire a skeptical look. "How?"
"You do not usually seem highly pleased with the gifts you have received. They are cherished, but you do not use them beyond the Christmas day. Even the book Raven bought you has not been used."
"Well…it's not like I didn't like getting a book on Sumerian technology, but…okay, so maybe I'm not that easy to shop for either."
"This is why I believe that you will enjoy this. You may take what you would use for another's present and get the perfect gift for yourself instead. You will not have to return it or hide it under the couch or throw it away."
"Still don't know why Beast Boy thought I'd like pants that year."
He started giving the idea a little more thought. Yeah, it was a lot of fun buying presents for your friends and seeing their faces light up when you got it just right, but he couldn't remember the last time he'd actually spent money on himself. He was ignoring T-car purchases as that directly helped them in their jobs; it wasn't his fault that making something good enough to take on missions made it awesome.
"Alright, Star. I think I'm okay with it. And it's not like I'm not allowed to get you guys stuff if I change my mind."
"Glorious!"
.. / -.. - -. .-. - / - .- -. / - ... . / - . . -. / - .. - .- -. ... .-.-.- / .. / - .- -. / .- / .-. .- .. .-. / - ..-. / ... ... - . ... .-.-.-
Raven was lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering how in the world she'd ended up in this situation. As happened every year, a hat had been brought to her in privacy, Starfire had the honor this year, and she, being the most reluctant to participate, was first to pick as usual.
It seemed like a cruel joke and a wonderful opportunity wrapped too tightly together to separate. Beast Boy. Why did she have to pull Beast Boy's name?
Starfire had laughed and talked rapidly about what a great thing it was because of all the things she could say with the right gift, all of them being some admission of romantic feelings. And then she'd started describing daydreams about Beast Boy declaring his love and passion and dates and marriage and two kids, a dog, and a white picket fence.
It was shortly after this outburst that Starfire was ejected from Raven's room.
And the worst part was, she liked the road Starfire's thoughts had taken. She didn't like that Star liked to do ninety down it, but…there was an annoying urge to smile when she let her own imagination take a peak in the direction Starfire had sped off in.
And now she was staring at her ceiling wondering what in the world Beast Boy would enjoy that might help the boy to look down that same road too – without scaring him off.
It'd be easier learning another language. Actually, it really would be; especially with the headway she'd been making in ancient Greek. She decided to distract herself for a while by doing what she always did to get away – she read.
She'd barely cracked the book open when there was a knock at her door. Not wanting to get up, she just called out, "I'm reading."
"I'm Beast Boy" came the reply through the door followed by a little giggle.
Trying to figure out why she was attracted to someone who could be so immature, she got off her bed to answer. "What do you want Beast Boy?"
As she opened the door he held out both his hands. "Pick one."
She looked down and saw bookmarks clearly sticking out of his clenched fists. One had kittens on it and the other had stylized writing that she couldn't quite read with his hand in the way. "Where'd you get these?" She took the one with the writing.
"They came with a package I got today. So, what's that one say? I think it's just the word 'read' over and over in a bunch of languages, but I'm not sure."
"Well, that's German." She said pointing to one. He sidled around to get a better look. "And this is Italian. There's Spanish, French, Portuguese. I think that's Chinese and that's probably Japanese. That's Romanian, Greek, Latin. That looks like it could be Arabic and I don't know that one."
"I do!" He sounded so proud of himself. "It's Swahili! It's the only one I knew."
Raven raised an eyebrow. "Couldn't read English?"
He playfully rolled his eyes. "You know what I meant. But, you can read all of those?"
"Some. I know Romanian, so the languages that are part of the same family are a little easier to figure out. I don't know what they say for sure, but since everything I can read says 'Read', I think you're right about them all being that."
"What other ones could you understand?"
"Not too many actually. Latin and German, and I'm learning Greek, but this is modern and I'm studying ancient."
"Cool. I totally knew you'd pick the smart bookmark over the cute one. Star won't mind though." He smiled as he turned to walk down the hall.
"Aren't you keeping one?"
"Dude, mine's already tucked away in my favorite book." He tried continuing on his way, but Raven asked another question.
"You have a favorite book? It's more than just pictures, right?"
"Ha, ha, Raven. Of course it is…sort of. It's the first book in that zoological encyclopedia you guys got me for my birthday a few years back."
"Good to know it hasn't gone to waste. Did Robin ever tell you how expensive that was?"
"Yeah, he likes to bring it up whenever I ask for money." Beast Boy looked over Ravens head at her bookcase. "Which book's your favorite?"
Raven looked over her shoulder to follow his gaze. "I don't have just one. Everything in here is a favorite for one reason or another. If I didn't really care for the book I'd sell it, if it's valuable, or give it to Goodwill, if it isn't."
"Got anything new lately?"
"No, I'm just reading to study right now. I've got a few ancient texts that I want to be able to read, so I'm fixing that."
"Right, the old Greek."
"Ancient."
"Whatever. Hey, I'm going to the mall later, did you want to go? Maybe grab something fun to read for when you're tired of studying?"
The mall? It was bad enough she got dragged there by Starfire a minimum of once a month, but it might mean getting to see what he wanted for Christmas. "Sure, but I don't want to spend the whole time in the arcade or a comic shop."
"No problem!"
.. / -.. - -. .-. - / - .- -. / - ... . / - . . -. / - .. - .- -. ... .-.-.- / .. / - .- -. / .- / .-. .- .. .-. / - ..-. / ... ... - . ... .-.-.-
The mall. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy…wait, no. Hold on; just need to flip the cassette here. Should have had it on side A. A quick rewind to get it back to the start, aaaaaand we're good to go. Sorry about that, back to the story.
.. / -.. - -. .-. - / - .- -. / - ... . / - . . -. / - .. - .- -. ... .-.-.- / .. / - .- -. / .- / .-. .- .. .-. / - ..-. / ... ... - . ... .-.-.-
The mall. Raven wasn't sure what she hated more, the crowds of people that gave her headaches with their emotional white noise, the shops that tried a little too hard to stand out from all the other shops that were trying too hard, the blatant lie that was any poster claiming good deals and discounts, or the incessantly chipper top forty radio station that was always droning on in the background.
She knew the truth was that she always hated the crowds the most. She just didn't like being caught up in the crush of humanity, and the mall brought out a mean spirit in a lot of people; not to mention all the petty thievery happening all over the place. Starfire had taught her that it was best to just do enough for mall security to take over. No need to file reports or make statements if all you were doing was making it easy for them to do their job.
Starfire liked pretending she thought they were buying whatever it was they were trying to steal, going so far as to tag along until they paid for it or put it back. Raven just liked to make the idiots as obvious as possible; a turn of a few cameras or lights turning on in just the right place.
Beast Boy apparently liked stealing all the merchandise back without the would-be-thief noticing. He explained that since most of them were kids anyway, he liked the idea of them getting home or wherever and then not finding anything. He thought if he did it enough they'd assume they were bad at stealing and go do something else.
Having amused themselves enough with making thieves look bad, Raven and Beast Boy started exploring shops in earnest. Raven's preference was to bookstores and places with enough of a macabre look to be tolerable. Beast Boy's was any place with flashing lights, video games, or cartoons.
If they had brought Starfire they would have gone into every shop in the entire place.
True to his word though, Beast Boy had been very brief in his friendly local comic shop and had turned down even a brief jaunt into the arcade; something Raven was grateful for. Trying to keep things fair, Raven kept her wandering in bookstores to a minimum.
She would have given up on visiting a few of the shops she liked, but Beast Boy insisted on going places she wanted to go to. She was getting frustrated at how little of his own shopping he was doing as it meant she wasn't learning a single thing about possible Christmas presents. The closest to a hint she'd gotten was a few oohs and aahs while they were in a curio shop she liked, but those cheesy statues of mythical creatures and wizards felt like they were mocking her reality a little too much for them to be considered.
When they stopped for lunch Beast Boy offered to pay. Raven gave him a skeptical look. "Why does it feel like you weren't really planning on coming here?"
He gave a sheepish grin. "'Cause I wasn't. I just wanted to hang out, is that so bad?"
"Not really, and you've been pretty well behaved."
"I can do sit and rollover too." He shifted into a dog to demonstrate, giving a little bark after.
"Miss? Miss, I'm sorry, but we don't allow pets inside the mall except for service animals."
A security guard was making his way over to their table. Raven could just make out his nametag reading Stan as he worked his way through the tables. "Stay." She decided to give Beast Boy a bit of fun.
"I'm sorry, miss, but the dog will have to go outside."
"What about cats? Are they allowed?"
"No, I'm sorry, but…" A soft mewling sound distracted him and he looked down to see a kitten with giant eyes where the dog had been.
"Gerbils?"
"What?" A gerbil was now running back and forth over the tops of his shoes.
"Squirrels? Geese? Goats? Penguins?" Beast Boy had changed into each animal as she'd called them out.
"Miss, just what do you think you're pulling here?" Stan was looking a little upset.
"You have no idea who I am, do you?"
"Afraid I don't, miss. Are you supposed to be someone important? And don't try saying you're Raven from the Teen Titans, we get fifty of you girls dressing up like her a day." A little bit past upset, Stan was kicking into 'watch it before you're kicked out' mode.
"And do they have a green friend who can change into animals?"
Stan looked startled. "It's green?"
"See for yourself." Raven gestured to the duck dancing like it was from a commercial.
"Actually, miss, I'm colorblind. I wouldn't know he was green if he were fifty feet tall."
Raven shifted in her chair feeling suddenly guilty. "Oh."
The duck had stopped dancing as well. Beast Boy was suddenly himself again back in his own seat at the table. "Sorry."
Stan straightened up a little, it wasn't every day you got to one-up people like the Teen Titans. "Just try to behave yourselves."
"Yes, sir." They called out in unison.
Stan walked back to his post knowing that he was going to win that night's 'Best Story' brag session with the other guards.
Raven looked up at Beast Boy, still feeling a bit awkward about the whole situation.
"Hey, Rae? If it's any consolation, it was really funny." He gave a lopsided smile and started clearing up his garbage.
She gave her own small smile and followed his example and helped clear the table. "Thank you. And, Beast Boy?"
"Yeah, Rae?"
"I had fun. We should do this again some time."
"Totally!" In his enthusiasm he missed the garbage can and dumped his trash onto the floor. He was hurriedly making to pick it up when a black glow encased it all and propelled it to where it belonged. "Thanks, Rae."
"You're welcome, now get off the floor and let's go."
He happily followed her retreating figure.
.. / -.. - -. .-. - / - .- -. / - ... . / - . . -. / - .. - .- -. ... .-.-.- / .. / - .- -. / .- / .-. .- .. .-. / - ..-. / ... ... - . ... .-.-.-
Raven hated feeling like those silly little schoolgirls who wrote her fan letters sometimes. They'd talk about how hard it was being different and they would always tell her about their crushes even though she never answered their letters. They'd say that the guy made them feel special and less alone and go on and on in the sappiest language they could devise.
But now, here she was, thinking about Beast Boy in the most girlish way her imagination could come up. She was sure if she had a binder or journal there would be hearts on it. It disgusted her.
And on top of everything, she still had no idea what to get him. She knew what stores he liked, but he hadn't gone in any of them for more than a minute or two. If only he had. He could have taken her to that game store and she would have known what game that was coming out soon he'd like. If he'd done more than just collect the comics he was already subscribed to she could have grabbed something from his favorite artist or a collection he might like. If, if, if.
Instead he'd taken her on something that felt exactly like date and she was sure he'd just done it to hang out like he'd said.
Staring at her ceiling, trying to ignore how much she'd enjoyed their not-a-date and getting her mind back onto the subject of Christmas. "What do I get you that you'll like that tells you maybe I wouldn't mind doing stuff like today more often?"
She sat up slowly and gave herself a half smile. It was the perfect idea. Starfire was going to go nuts about it; she just hoped the alien would have sense enough to do it in private.
.. / -.. - -. .-. - / - .- -. / - ... . / - . . -. / - .. - .- -. ... .-.-.- / .. / - .- -. / .- / .-. .- .. .-. / - ..-. / ... ... - . ... .-.-.-
Christmas day was finally there and each of the Titans looked highly excited to give out the presents they'd gotten one another. Robin and Starfire had traded packages first. Starfire had burst with enthusiasm at her present of a cookbook with a note that said Robin would eat whatever she made from it. He'd also been quite happy with his set of Tameranean caltrops. The little balls would pop midair to create a minefield that would knock flyers out of the air.
Cyborg had been modest and bought himself an entry into the upcoming Robot Wars competition. He was positive his entry would either win or be selected as one of the house robots. The name Baby Face Smasher was being thrown around.
With the others occupied by their own gifts, Raven sidled up to Beast Boy and handed him a small envelope with a, "Merry Christmas" mumbled out. He returned the favor by handing her the kind of present she was used to – one that was book shaped.
Too shy to watch him open what she'd gotten him, she pulled the wrapping paper off her own present. The cover caught her off-guard as it was in Greek. She worked her way through and was able to at least make out that it said 'Philogelos,' but had no idea what that meant.
Beast Boy leaned over to her, the card in his hands unopened. "It's good, right? I couldn't afford original stuff since it's all in museums and stuff, but this was a reproduction that I thought you'd like."
"It's fine, but I'm not good enough to know what it says yet."
"I thought about that, which is why I got you this too." And he handed her another wrapped book.
She tore the paper off of this one and saw that she'd at least read the title correctly as this book was called 'Philogelos: The Laugh Addict.' "What is this?"
Beast Boy started laughing. "It's the oldest joke book in the world."
"You bought me a joke book." He nodded smiling maniacally. "An ancient Greek joke book."
"Kind of." She waited for him to go on. "Well, it's not really ancient Greek, it's something called…uh…coin Greek."
"You mean Koine. It means common."
"Right, it's the Greek they used right after they were done with the ancient stuff."
"And this other book is the translation?"
"Yep." His smile was so large.
Raven softly chuckled. "Thank you, Beast Boy. It's just weird enough that I really do believe you thought it up."
"I'm taking that as a compliment." He said as he opened his card. "Cool!"
"You like it?" She gave him a sidelong glance.
"It's perfect. You'll really go all these places with me when I use these coupon things?"
"Yes, Beast Boy. If you want some company, I'll go exactly where each coupon says. You can use them whenever you want or all at the same time. It's your choice."
"The arcade, the Millennium restaurant, the comic shop, there's a bunch of them here!"
"There're some duplicates."
"That's even better! Thank you, Raven." And he hugged her before running off to show the others.
Blushing slightly, Raven smiled to herself for giving herself the gift of dates with Beast Boy even if he didn't know what she was doing; Merry Christmas indeed.
.. / -.. - -. .-. - / - .- -. / - ... . / - . . -. / - .. - .- -. ... .-.-.- / .. / - .- -. / .- / .-. .- .. .-. / - ..-. / ... ... - . ... .-.-.-
That night, as she was reading through the translation of her new book, shaking her head in disbelief at how many of these jokes Beast Boy had told her before, a knocking came at the door.
She opened it a crack to find Starfire floating outside. "What is it, Star?"
Her smile was so devious. "Beast Boy enjoyed your present greatly. He spoke of it most of the morning."
"Yeah, I know. I was there." Raven was getting the distinct impression her friend was hiding something.
"Are you not most joyous that he was the name you received from your drawing?"
Raven narrowed her eyes. "Yes. I suppose I am. Why?"
And Starfire grinned in a way that would've given Beast Boy's most impish smile a run for the money. "I have done the cheating. All of the names in the hat were Beast Boy's."
Raven's mouth fell open. "You did that to me on purpose?" Starfire nodded laughing. "You realize I'll get you back for that."
"That would be most wonderful, Raven. Thank you." And she flew off laughing before Raven could respond.
.. / -.. - -. .-. - / - .- -. / - ... . / - . . -. / - .. - .- -. ... .-.-.- / .. / - .- -. / .- / .-. .- .. .-. / - ..-. / ... ... - . ... .-.-.-
(A/N) In response to that little French saying I often like to reply, "Excusez-moi, s'il vous plaît ne parle pas français, je ne le comprends pas." All this roughly translates to words, but mostly I've decided to put that I don't own the Teen Titans here at the end.