(To those of you who are about to read this, feel free to do so, but this is an old story of mine. I am moving it from my original account to this new account, which is mainly for old stories that I do not wish to keep on my main account, which is named Dylexa. I won't have anything good up there for a while, sadly. I am working on it though!)

7/13/15

Okay, I know its been a really long time since I last wrote, but I figured that maybe writing might help me now, since I have nowhere else to turn for help.

Alright, so yesterday (I really hate to bring this fact up, but I feel that it would make much more sense if I told you), was my birthday, and everyone decided to bring me to the beach, which I think was really nice because it really put me to ease, even if I'm now seventeen years old. We had a lot of fun messing around and such, but Samir seemed a bit distracted-worried even.

I tried to ask him what was wrong, but after I asked, he just acted jovial the rest of the day...this streak of jovial seemed quite un-genuine.

Samir is a quiet, gentle kid that gets scared quite easily, and he always seems to apologize, even if something is not his fault.

I guess it's from his time in the lab.

Anyway, we did actually have a lot of fun yesterday. I thought everything was supposed to be perfect.

But later that night, I was walking around the house-dirt hole-whatever!-and suddenly, I hear two voiced talking and I realize that those voices belong to Zak and Gratis.

I decide to listen, but I horribly regretted it when I heard what they were saying.

Zak and Gratis were talking about what seemed to be spies...spying on us.

From Dr. Alanes.

I listen in some more, and as I said before, I greatly regret it.

It's hard to say what they said specifically, but soon enough Zak was yelling at Gratis. The next thing I know, Zak pulls off the curtain that Gratis had been using as a door, and stomps out. When he sees me, two dark roses of pink form on his cheeks.

"Marissa? What are you doing here?"

I tell Zak that I simply wanted to thank him and Gratis for my birthday surprise, and hug him tightly. From behind Zak, I can see Gratis looking back at me. I can't help but notice that Gratis looks tired and upset.

This is quite rare to see on Gratis. My older brother has always been so confident-so secure. Always looking proud, happy, and quite alert.

But when I saw him last night, it looked as if he hadn't slept in days, and he looked utterly depressed!

I just don't know what to do! What if there are spies around the city? What if there are spies around our home?

What if we get captured again? I can't stand the thought of being in that horrible place for the third time in my life! I shouldn't even have had to endure the torture once! Those awful nightmares, waking up to the smell of burning blankets-having to sleep with a fire-extinguisher AND a smoke-detector?

All of that is thanks to Dr. Alanes. I'm already scarred from my experiences! But the thought of having to face even more torture? Along with my family being tortured?

I just can't help but feel that this is my fault! Sometimes I sincerely feel that I'm being punished for something I did in my past life, and since my family was around during the time of my punishment, they are now forced to suffer with me.

I guess this is just what God decided for me. Either way though, I'm not grateful at all.

Confused Marissa