Chapter 5

Hey guys, I just thought I would apologize for my sporadic (and short) updates! Hopefully this makes up for it! Life has been pretty crazy, and I've been putting way too much into writing essays, not chapters! So much emotional drama on top of school work…EH!… but I'll try to keep up for you guys! Thanks again for the reviews, they make this easier

Chapter 5

The next morning, I rolled out of bed to dull light shining in my window. It was just an hour or so after dawn, and no one else in the room was stirring. It was a Monday, and I didn't have any classes until noon. I had double potions after lunch, and then my head girl patrol duties to finish off the night. If it weren't for the fact that both involved spending time with the Slytherins, I would be in for an excellent day. I stretched and grabbed my toiletries bag, heading to the shower.

I turned on the water, cranking it up warm and stripping quickly, stepping under the spray. I let the warm water run over my body, and I hummed softly in pleasure. I stretched my joints and rolled my shoulders, getting re-acquainted with being awake again. I grabbed my shampoo, squirted out enough to fill my palm, and began working it through my thick curls. As I continued to massage the thick liquid into my scalp, I began to re-hash last nights events.

As happy as I was to once again have Cedric in my life, I still wasn't sure that I had done the right thing in letting him off the hook so easily. I understood getting caught up in it…hell, I got pretty caught up too. But I still couldn't believe that he somehow thought I would be ready and willing to commit to something like that so easily. Only four people knew my "deep, dark secret" when it comes to my sexuality, and although Cedric wasn't one of them, and I couldn't expect him to take it slow because of it, I still would have appreciated him to give it more time.

I had given up my virginity at an earlier age than I am proud to admit. I was 15, the man of my dreams (I know. How cliché) had just left me, it was Christmas break, and I was alone. I'm not sure which of these truly did it in for me, but I ended up going all the way with, as ashamed as I am to admit it, the first guy who was ready and willing. That isn't the worst of it though. There are plenty of girls who lost their virginity at a young age, and as sad as it was, at least they were in love with the guy, then and there. I… was not. I lost my virginity… to Draco Malfoy.

It wasn't the release I had hoped for, from the pain, memories, or sexual tension. In fact, all it was was painful. Draco was not the passionate lover that I needed. He was lonely and desperate, and apparently was too thick to ask before he began. He assumed I had previously lost my virginity, and by the time he realized he was wrong, it was too late. Much too late.

I walked away (or as close to walking as my stumbling could be considered) from the incident scarred and in no better a state, if not worse, than I was before. I know I probably sound rather nonchalant about this whole affair, but to be honest it never mattered that much to me to begin with. Sexuality was just another thing to explore, and that I did.

I finished my shower without having resolved any of my problems, but much cleaner and more relaxed. I threw on some old sweatpants and a tank top that I had brought from home, and towel-dried my hair. It hung in damp ringlets around my shoulders, and I rubbed some conditioner into it. I walked down to the common room with my books, and took a seat by the fireplace to get some homework out of the way. It was still early, only about 6:30, and my classmates were just beginning to stir.

I pulled out a scroll of parchment and my favorite quill, and began to work on my potions essay. It wasn't due until the end of the week, but I knew I should start it now, because my week was looking hellish already. I looked down and began my paper. "The three main ingredients…"

An hour and two scrolls of parchment later, my potions essay was complete. I was sufficiently proud of it; it wasn't perfect, but it certainly was good. I stood up and stretched, rolling my neck and shoulders, then putting all my supplies into my bag. I ran up to my dorm and dropped my stuff off, then threw on my robes for breakfast. Most of the girls were up and showering, getting ready for their 8:30 classes.

After breakfast, I decided to find Harry and talk to him. I hadn't found him yesterday like I said I would, and although he wouldn't be angry, I was sure he was worried. After a few minutes of searching the places he frequented, I found him propped up against a window, reading some library book about Quidditch. I plopped down on the sill next to him, and waited patiently until he finished the chapter and looked up.

"Hey… I'm sorry I didn't come find you yesterday. I meant to, but we got back late, and just barely made curfew.." I began. He just shook his head.

"It's fine 'Mione, don't worry about it. I was just worried about you. Are you okay? Anything you want to talk about?" That was one of the things that I loved about Harry. He never tried to force information out of me. I knew that although he was curious, the reason he was asking was not because he wanted to know, but because he thought talking might help me. He was a good friend like that.

I shook my head, not sure what I would say if I even knew where to begin. He nodded, understanding, and paused before asking, "I just want to know. Did you forgive him?" I nodded. He acknowledged my answer, and threw his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to him. He was perceptive like that; he knew that right now, the only thing I really needed was a comforting hug.

"Thanks Harry" I whispered. He squeezed me tighter.

I spent the rest of the morning catching up on homework and staring into space. With everything on my mind after yesterday, I was shocked that I was able to do anything at all. Despite this, I had a relatively productive morning. I ate a late lunch, and then packed my things up for potions class.

I walked down to the dungeons, arriving at class a few minutes early. I grabbed a table close to the front of the room and started to set up my things. I had all my supplies neatly arranged on the table when Draco walked in. He pulled up a chair at my table and sat down, toying with my potions things.

"Can I help you, Draco?" I demanded, not in the mood to put up with his shenanigans. He just grinned and tipped his chair back, rolling my quill between his fingers. He closed his eyes lazily, completely ignoring my presence. I rolled my eyes, reached over and grabbed my quill from Draco, and returned it to where I had it originally positioned. He opened his eyes lazily, one at a time, and finally fixed his glance on me.

"Am I bothering you, Granger? Something wrong?" I rolled my eyes.

"Just leave me alone Draco. Go away." He pretended to be surprised, and held his hand on his heart as though I had wounded him. The rest of the class began filling in, and Draco finally got up and left. Arrogant git.

Professor Snape started talking, lecturing the class on something that I had learned weeks ago. He continued to talk for the majority of the class, only stopping with five minutes left in class.

"I assume you all have begun your paper on the ingredients in a healing potion? Mr. Potter?" Harry blushed and looked away, pretending to ignore the question. Snape turned to me.

"Ms. Granger?"

"Yes, sir, I'm already finished, actually." I said with the smallest hint of a smile. I loved it when Sanpe tried to pick on me and I was given the opportunity to best him.

"Is that so? May is see?" he asked incredulously. I grabbed the essay, which I had luckily thought to bring to class, and stood up, walked to the front of the class, handed it to him, and sat down again. He looked at it, began reading it, and then dismissed the lass without another word. Ha!

Harry and I walked to the Great Hall for dinner, and grabbed a seat on the Gryffindor bench next to each other. We began eating, while chatting lightly. I had managed to avoid thinking about Cedric all day, but now that the conversation was slowing down, he was starting to creep back into my thoughts. What was I doing? Just as I started to lose myself in thoughts, I heard a voice behind me.

"So, Mudblood. Found someone new to bang I see?"