Hello, my friends. I'm scared. Of what? Willy Wonka. Why? See the ending note.

CAST today!

Athena awoke to find a green UFO circling her head. She threw off the gray comforter that covered her and swung her legs out of bed. She then snatched it out of the air to find it was none other than…a Post-It note. She rubbed her eyes and looked at it blearily.

"Come…to the throne room?" she read.

Similar notes appeared in the other gods' rooms. Within minutes, twelve awake, alert deities sat almost eagerly in their throne. But nothing seemed to happen. The gods started to idly chat. Hestia yawned and stirred some coals. But then a grand column of white smoke exploded into the room.

"It's tear gas!" Zeus shouted.

"Father, it's smoke! We aren't affected by tear gas!" Athena shouted back.

"Bro, you're an idiot!" Poseidon interjected.

The smoke cleared to reveal a hovering Smartboard. It had a bunch of names on it. All the gods were highly upset. Why, you think?

Because that smoke was actually a vapor version of eye diluter. The gods and goddesses were all unable to focus on the words that resided on the Smartboard.

"Ha-ha…I love eye diluter, don't you?"

Sandy. Of course.

"What the Fahiji?" Poseidon exclaimed. Athena raised an eyebrow.

"Fahiji?"

"I don't know…" Poseidon admitted.

Sandy tapped her Ugg-clad foot.

"I believe you guys WANT to know what parts you have?" she inquired.

All deities swiveled their heads towards the girl. Aphrodite squinted.

"Sandy, do you have blue hair?"

Sandy smiled.

"Yes, yes I do. Yesterday was crazy hair day at my school."

Aphrodite nodded. "That's cool."

ANYWAY!

A girl with long blonde-brown hair walked up and stood next to Sandy.

"Sup, Bella?" Sandy asked.

"Nuthin."

"You wanna read the cast?" Sandy asked.

"Meh. Fine."

Sandy addressed the gods.

"This is my best friend Bella. Well, her name's actually Alice, but I call her Bella cuz she likes that better. She's gonna be my co-director."

The gods chorused, "Hi Bella."

"Sup yo," Bella answered.

Sandy shouted, "LET'S HEAR THE CAST!"

Bella turned to the Smartboard.

"Let's start with those that are most unimportant."

The gods looked at her with intensity that should have caused her to explode. She didn't. Bella didn't even look fazed.

"The least important person is Monsieur D'Arque. This goes to HADES!"

The gods all applauded politely. Hades shrunk down in his seat.

Sandy laughed.

"Heehee…I'll give you the next person. This is the role of the Enchantress. This goes to…HERA!"

Another round of polite applause. Apollo and Dionysus were both snickering, since they knew the Enchantress also had to be an old hag.

"This role's perfect for her!" Apollo guffawed. He then received a death glare from yours truly, Sandy.

"Here's a rule: only I can question MY decisions. You aren't allowed to insult people on their role. Speaking of which…I'm gonna break ranks a little here and say that Apollo, my friend, will be playing the candlestick Lumiere."

There was a lot of laughing and scattered applause. Apollo flushed.

"Back to ranks," Bella boredly said.

"Yes, yes," Sandy said impatiently. "Bella, care to say the person who scored the role of Chip?"

"Surely, my friend. This goes to Artemis."

The gods applauded vigorously. They didn't dare say anything about genders, for

A: they didn't want any arrows through the neck

B: Sandy would say something demeaning

"NEXT!"

This went on for a while.

"Madame le Grande Bouche goes to Demeter!"

"Babette goes to Aphrodite."

"Mrs. Potts goes to Hestia."

"Gaston goes to Ares!"

"Maurice goes to Zeus!"

"Cogsworth to Dionysus."

"Lefou to Hermes."

And then the gods looked confused. Aphrodite raised her hand.

"Yeah?" Sandy asked, grinning broadly.

"What about the main characters? Belle and Beast?" Aphrodite asked.

Sandy smirked.

"They know who they are."

Both Poseidon and Athena asked, "Who?"

Bella exclaimed, "You mailboxes. Poseidon and Athena are Beast and Belle."

AN: Bella is my best friend ever! Her name's not Bella, or Alice either. In real life. But we're gonna call her Bella. And I'm scared of Willy Wonka because of Epic Movie. He's like a cannibal creeper.

"I'm going to find you!"

Yeah, he goes around saying that.

Well, this is the end of the chapter. Bye now!