"Someday, in the far, far, far future when we have kids I'm sure you'll make a great dad." Blaine smiled and leaned over to kiss Kurt's cheek.
"We'll both be great parents – someday."
By the time they got home it was past three o'clock. The market had a small selection of children's toys marked 3+ and they'd picked up a box of thick crayons ("my good pencils are not for toddler doodling, Blaine"), a set of blocks and small stuffed bear for Roxanne. Kurt laid down a soft blue blanket on their living room floor and Roxanne quickly took to work stacking blocks.
Kurt and Blaine took turns playing with Joey and Roxanne as the afternoon ticked on by, anxiety crawling back up Blaine's spine as it got closer and closer to six – the time he was supposed to meet some other NYADA student's to rehearse for the summer show. It would take him half an hour to get there on the subway and by five fifteen Cooper still hadn't shown up, or called.
"I'll just call them and tell them I can't come," Blaine decided, picking up his phone. Kurt grabbed his hand.
"No, no, no – you go – you can't just skip rehearsal because your brother is an idiot. I'm sure he'll be back soon, it's getting pretty late. I can handle these two," Kurt assured. Blaine looked hesitatingly between Kurt and his phone. NYADA wasn't really well known for gracefully excusing absences.
"This whole day has been unreal." He picked up his phone and dialed Cooper's number.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
"Hey! You've reached the cellular telephone of the one and only Cooper Anderson. I'm obviously too busy being awesome to answer the phone right now, so leave a message. Stay classy!"
"Cooper. This is your bother. Blaine. Remember me? Where ARE you?" Blaine seethed into the phone. "You were supposed to be back to pick up these kids at 10 o'clock this morning. Just, freaking call me back and give me their mother's phone number or something." He hung up the phone and shook his head at it. "I can't just leave you here with them. It's not your responsibility."
"Blaine, it's fine. You're going to be late. Just….leave your phone here – take mine. That way if Cooper calls I can speak to him and tell him to hurry the hell up and get here."
"That's a bad word!" Roxanne piped up.
"Sorry."
"Are you sure?" Blaine pressed.
"Yeah, I mean it's not like they're going to be here all night or anything – Cooper's irresponsible but he's not that irresponsible. I'll get them some dinner and I'll download a movie or something. We'll be fine."
Blaine crossed the room and leaned down to press several kisses in a row to Kurt's lips.
"You are the best boyfriend ever." Kurt laughed.
"Yes, I love you too. Now go on before Carmen Tibideaux loses her mind."
"Okay okay. Bye. Um, bye uh – kids."
"Bye!" The little girl called to Blaine's retreating back.
"So, uh Roxanne, what would you like for dinner?" Kurt asked.
"Ice cream!" Roxanne suggested. Kurt laughed.
"Maybe after dinner. Do you like chicken?"
"Chicken nuggets?" Kurt thought about the thawed chicken breast in their fridge. Maybe he could make some baked chicken tenders or something.
"Kinda…" The little girl looked at him suspiciously but didn't protest.
"I have to go potty again." Kurt sighed – yeah Cooper definitely owed them, big time.
"Okay, let's get your brother changed and you taken care of and then I'll make dinner."
As it turned out it's actually quite challenging to cook with a three year old in the apartment and a baby that you have nowhere to put. Kurt thought he could cook one handed but trying to put a tray of chicken tenders into the oven while holding a squirmy baby looked too dangerous to even attempt.
"Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, pull yourself together," he scolded himself under his breath as he started to feel the same hysteria Blaine had been experiencing when he'd arrived home earlier that day.
"Roxanne, the kitchen is very dangerous – not safe, so I'm going to put a movie on in the living room and I want you to stay in there and watch it, okay?"
"What movie?"
"What's your favorite?"
"The Little Mermaid!" Duh. Kurt should have known from the underpants. He quickly set up the Netflix on their television and within a minute the little girl was happily enthralled in the movie. Figuring out what to do with Joey took a little more time to figure out. Kurt made up another bottle while he thought about it.
Finally he settled on creating a contraption of his own for the baby to stay on while he cooked. He dug out his yoga mat from the back closet and set it on the kitchen table. He threw a sheet on top of it. He took the body pillow off of their bed and curled it into a horseshoe shape. Finally he wrapped the baby up in a small, thin blanket – not really sure it passed for "swaddling" but Joey seemed content. He gingerly set the baby down on its homemade "bed," his eyes flashing back to the small bundle every two seconds to make sure he hadn't tipped himself one way or another or stopped breathing or anything else awful.
He knew he could call Rachel and ask for her help, but involving Rachel meant involving Finn and Kurt didn't want to involve his family in…whatever the fuck was going on until he'd had a chance to talk about it with Blaine. So, he steamed peas and carrots, baked chicken tenders and cut up some fresh fruit while taking frequent breaks to check on the baby and peer through the doorway of their kitchen to make sure Roxanne was doing okay.
Not wanting to even go there (it's not like I'm her dad. As long as I keep her alive I'm golden) Kurt brought dinner right into the living room along with Joey and set up the three of them in front of the TV so Roxanne wouldn't have to pause her movie. Kurt picked at his food, suddenly feeling less confidence in his assurances to Blaine that Cooper wasn't that irresponsible. It was after seven and still no word from Cooper. He wasn't sure what time three year olds went to sleep but he was certain it wasn't too far past eight o'clock.
Even if their mom – Ashley, or Amber or Amanda or something – was having some sort of parenting crisis when she showed up at Cooper's, Kurt couldn't imagine that she didn't want her kids back now and probably had no idea where they were.