"Okay. Okay. Okay," Blaine chanted to psych himself up as he finished filling out the stack of forms. "Let's do this." The officer fished out a lolly-pop from his desk and handed it to Roxanne when they woke her up so they could leave.
"You call you dad," instructed Kurt, "and I'll call mine."
"Where are we going?" Asked Roxanne.
"We're going shopping. We're going to pick up some things to make our apartment more comfy for you and Joey."
"Yay!" Exclaimed Roxanne. The four slowly made their way to the nearest Target and Kurt took out his phone and pressed #2. His father's cell phone began to rang and Burt picked up on the 2nd ring.
"Hey Kiddo, how's it going? You don't usually call until later in the day on Sunday,"
"Blaine and I have some news," Kurt began tightly.
"Are you okay?" Is Blaine okay?" Burt demanded, anxiety quickly coloring his voice.
"We're fine." Burt sighed in relief.
"You two didn't get married behind our backs did you?" Burt joked.
"No, we didn't get married, dad…but you're in the right, er, family, vein."
"Did one of your propose?"
"Dad just let me tell you!" Kurt snapped.
"Sorry, sorry, go ahead."
"I know you'd be more likely to expect this call from Rachel and Finn, seeing as they have the typical plumbing, but it looks like Blaine and I are - unexpectedly– entering into the wide world of parenthood."
"Kurt what're you talking about? Did you adopt a puppy or something?"
"No I assure you I'm referring to human children. You know Cooper – Blaine's brother?"
"Yeah…..goofy guy," recalled Burt.
"Goofy, irresponsible, asshole is more like it."
"You said a bad word!" Reminded Roxanne.
"Sorry dear," apologized Kurt. He'd really have to work on that. He launched into the story of the past thirty-six hours.
Meanwhile, Blaine had gotten his father not on his home line, or his cell, but on his office line.
"So – did you get them back with the mother?" Mr. Anderson asked when his secretary patched Blaine through.
"No. They're trying to find Amber but I guess this isn't the first time this happened. Did you know Cooper's back in LA again, already? Didn't even see them before he left. Anyway – as I'm their next of kin we got emergency kinship custody."
"You put in for custody?" Questioned Mr. Anderson. "We don't even know if they're really your brother's obligation."
"It's only temporary until they find Amber," Blaine explained, "and I am sure this three month old baby boy I have in my hand is my nephew. He looks just like Cooper. What was I supposed to do? Take him but separate him from his sister? Kurt and I couldn't do that. But listen. We're going to need some money: you said you'd pay for us to figure this out and this is what is happening and there's a long list of things Kurt and I need to do legally keep the kids even if it's only for a couple weeks."
Kurt hung up the phone with a thoroughly flabbergasted Burt and quickly dialed his step-brother.
"Hey Kurt, what's up dude?"
"Are you with Rachel?"
"Yeah, we're getting ready to go to couples interpretive dance class. Please tell me you have a reason why we don't have to go?"
"Consider your two left feet saved," guaranteed Kurt. "Can you go get Rachel and put the phone on speaker? Blaine and I need your help."
Rachel and Finn met them at Target in record speed, Rachel still in her ballet shoes, leggings and oversized t-shirt.
"Holy cow," she exhaled as they rounded the corner and came upon Kurt and Blaine comparing stroller options.
"Are we being p'unked?" Finn asked, looking around wildly for either Ashton Kutcher or a camera crew.
"Who're you? Are you a giant?" Asked Roxanne, gripping onto Blaine's hand with trepidation. Finn smiled and crouched down so he was closer to eye level with the tot.
"No, I'm just tall. My name's Finn – Kurt is my brother. He told me your name is Roxanne." The little smiled shyly and looked at the ground.
"Uh huh." Rachel crouched down as well.
"I'm Rachel. Isn't that funny? Our names begin with the same letter: R. I bet we're going to be good friends." Roxanne nodded.
"Is Finn your boyfriend?" Rachel stuck out her left hand and let Roxanne get an eyeful of her rings.
"He's my husband. We got married two weeks ago – we only just got back from our honeymoon!" Blaine blinked.
"After the past day and a half it feels like you guys got married years ago," he admitted. Well, Finn and Rachel had almost gotten married so many times over the years it had become a bit of a running joke.
After everyone got acquainted and a quick trip to the bathroom for Kurt and a reluctant but I-agreed-to-be-helpful Rachel with both of the kids the four adults split up to compile necessary items that the kids would need during their stay with Kurt and Blaine. When they finished an hour later (Kurt stealthily put back a few of the gaudier items Rachel picked out and explained to a thoroughly put out Finn that neither Roxanne nor baby Joey needed an Xbox) Blaine was grateful to pull out his "emergency" credit card that was registered to his father.
Roxanne quickly took to Rachel, clinging to her hand as they hailed a couple cabs to head back to the apartment with their many purchases (which included a double stroller that had built-in removable carrier/car seat for Joey and booster seat for Roxanne). Rachel delighted the little girl with a story about a princess who just happened to be named Roxanne (what a coincidence?) that saved her kingdom from a dragon by finding the dragon a unicorn to be its friend; making the dragon less lonely and apparently less blood thirsty for villagers. Kurt rationed in his mind that the dragon would probably eat the unicorn along with the villagers but he kept that observation to himself.
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