Chapter 7: The Light At The End Of A Very Long Tunnel

I drove home feeling more relaxed and calm than I had for a while; I couldn't believe I had been so stupid that morning and that I had been such a coward in running away the way I did. Anyway, that was over and I was looking forward to seeing Lisa three times a week; I was looking forward to working with Lisa three times a week I had to remind myself.

I was really confused about how I was feeling about things, I kept saying to myself that she wasn't my type, and it was only the need to have someone to talk to that drew me in, but I wasn't totally convinced that this was the case. It was the way she glanced at me when she thought I wasn't looking, the way she flicked her hair without noticing that she was doing it, and the way that her smile that lit up the room.

I sighed to myself, I needed to get all of these things out of my mind and worry about everything else that was more relevant like my injury and the WWE. I was concerned about my arm and I was worried that no one would like or respect me when I got back to WWE. It was no surprise that I am more worried that no one will remember me when I return to the WWE. I knew that these were all the things that I could talk to Lisa about and I knew that she would help me calm my fears and concerns. For that I was eternally grateful already.

My mum was sitting in the front room when I got home expectantly waiting for the news of how my meeting with Lisa meant. I grinned at her despite myself

"You waiting there looking for some gossip?" I laughed

"Absolutely" she replied "Come on then did you sort things out?"

"Yeah we did I was such an idiot she was wonderful and understanding about everything. I've arranged to see her three times a week over the next month to try and get me back home before Money In The Bank so I'm going to focus and work on getting back for that one"

"Told you" mum said smiling wickedly "She's a keeper that one, and perhaps I don't mean just as an employee" She winked at me

"It's not like that I told you" I said it but I sounded less than convincing. I was already starting to doubt myself too

"Bring her back here sometime. It would be nice for me to meet her"

"Not sure that's going to happen. It needs to remain professional between her and I" I reminded her

"Okay then" mum said putting up her hands in a surrendering gesture. She smiled as she walked away and I couldn't help but smile as well but for an entirely different reason. It was only a professional arrangement I convinced myself, but I still pulled out my phone straight away and texted her

"Let me know when you get home, just want to know you're safe" I wrote hastily

"Not far away now" she wrote back a minute later "I just need to sleep when I get back I think"

I smiled to myself at that, I wonder why I thought rhetorically. I took a deep breath and let it out sighing. I really need to focus on something else!

The evening passed slowly for some reason, I was glad I had a Physio session booked for the following day. I blinked, surprising myself with that thought. That is the first time I have thought that way since I've got injured things really are looking up! Lisa and I continued to text during the night, she told me about things that she had seen on TV about WWE, I told her about my evening and eventually I said goodnight to her and fell into the deepest sleep I have been in for quite a while.

The physiotherapy session the next day, and the next few days after that went far better than I could have expected them too. The physiotherapist said that the strength was coming back in my arm. He recommended that I work out, but take it easy only doing some light weights and that within a week or so I could start trying some light moves in the ring.

The first thing I did was ring Lisa and tell her, I could hear how thrilled she was for me in her voice, and I was so excited to tell her that I could hardly get my words out. Our sessions together had gone well so far too. She made me feel good about myself and made me realize that this injury could be a blessing in disguise. I could go back to WWE and put my own stamp on my character, maybe start off with a clean slate and become twice the man I was before, rather than being just as good.

The glances and the touches never stopped, but we learned to control them and eventually we became comfortable in each other's presence again. We fit together incredibly well, and we seemed to know what made the other tick. We knew each other's moods and could cheer up each other whenever it was necessary. I found out much more about her than I ever dreamed of, and in turn she found out more about me than I had told anyone; In all this time, I had not gotten drunk once, not once thought about not returning home, and not once had I gone out with another woman. It was funny, but although Lisa and I weren't together and never would be, it seemed almost as though I would be cheating on her if I dated another woman.

It was during a phone call a few days later when we were chatting about me getting back into the ring again, that Lisa said something that really had an profound impact on me, one that I wasn't expecting.

"Wow Stu, keep this up and you will be back home before you know it"

"yeah I guess so" I replied, but something within me reacted differently than usual to what she had said. For the first time since I'd come home, I realized that I would be leaving something behind that I still cared about when I went back. With my mother, I could visit her and stop for the weekend the door would always be open. But with Lisa, it was different. I cared for her deeper than I wanted to admit and with our history, visiting her casually would be awkward. When I went back to Tampa, the phone calls and the quick texts would stop I frowned to myself, I couldn't get involved I knew that, but I was going to miss her terribly even now.

I sat staring at the ceiling for what seemed like hours before my phone buzzed in my pocket. It was Paul, I answered it absently.

"Hey Stu" Paul greeted.

"Hi Paul how's things" I replied

"Good" Paul replied "Look I've heard how well things are going, and we are wondering how likely it is that you will be cleared in time for Money In The Bank?"

"According to the Physio I can get back in the ring next week. As soon as I build up some strength I will be back, so it's very likely now" I smiled at that thought. It was weird thinking how far I had come.

"That's great news Stu! Look I think it's a good idea if you come back over ASAP. You can start to work on the storyline we have for the match with the rest of us, and if all goes well we can clear you"

"Okay. Any clue on our winner?" I asked cheekily

"Haha I will tell you that when you are back" I knew I wouldn't get it out of him so I didn't try "so will we see you soon?"

"Yeah I will look at flights tonight, and be back as soon as I can"

"Okay. By the way Stu I don't know what has happened to you over the last few weeks but it's great to have the real you back"

"Cheers Paul" I replied "I can't take the credit. I've had some help"

"Well, whoever she is keep hold of her and don't let her go" I heard him laugh and then the phone went dead

I sat there not knowing how to feel, I was glad that at least I was going to be climbing back in the ring soon, and being part of a major storyline again but I knew I was going to have to tell Lisa and I was going to have to leave her behind. I honestly wasn't sure how I felt about that. I went in to tell my mum about my plans, and although I know she wasn't looking forward to me leaving I could tell she was very happy for me.

"What are you going to tell Lisa?" she asked after congratulating me.

"Nothing to tell really is there?" I replied "We both knew that once it was time for me to go back then that would be it"

"Do you really mean that?"

"Yeah" I said but it didn't come out convincingly. I shrugged "I have to mean that, I live in a different world, have a different life from hers and everything will change when I get back" I thought of Victoria who I needed to have a chat with when I was home "Besides I may have someone waiting for me back there"

"Well I hope you don't regret it" she looked at me sternly, but lovingly "You hurt her once before, just be gentle with her"

"I promise" I was becoming uncomfortable with the way this conversation was making me feel. I turned to walk back to my room.

"Oh, and Stu?" My mum called back as she went to the kitchen, stopping in the doorway "do me one favour and invite her round. After everything she's done for you I would love to meet her please"

I didn't know whether this was a good thing or a bad thing, but I knew I owed her that much

"Yeah sure" I agreed "you will love her" and I stopped myself quickly what a stupid thing to say!

"I know I will" my mum smiled "She's your girl whether you admit it now, or in six months' time"

I just stared at her as she walked away from me. She was wrong of course; I don't feel that way towards Lisa do I? As soon as I was back in my own room I picked up the phone and dialled her number

"Hey Stu" she answered happily "Couldn't you wait until tomorrow?" she laughed and I felt my heart drop a little at how much this would hurt her.

"Hey Lisa, how are you doing?" I asked starting it slow.

"Nothing's changed since the last time you talked to me four hours ago" she laughed and then stopped when I didn't respond straight away "Is something wrong?"

"No not really" I lied "I have just been asked by Paul to go back to Tampa to start working on the match and storyline for Money In The Bank" I wasn't sure how she was going to react

A pause resounded on the line and then she responded "That's great" she shouted and she sounded so happy for me

"Oh Stu I knew you could do it, I knew you were strong enough I literally can't wait to see you on my TV wrestling again and picking up that briefcase"

I sat there not answering for a moment, I didn't know how to react I had obviously interpreted this all wrong, she didn't feel anything for me, it had always just been a working relationship to her and now it that was over she was happy to let me go…

Meanwhile…

I took my phone away from my ear and stared at it for a second as Stu told me the news that he was going back home. The silent tears began to roll down my face; that's it I've lost him I thought to myself.

I had done the job he had paid me to do perfectly. I had made sure he was strong enough and ready to get back in the ring. I kept his spirits high and was there during every late night of his, letting him vent and comforting him still, regardless of whether I was having trouble sleeping too which was often the case. Selfishly, I wish I hadn't been so good at my job.

I quickly pulled myself together and made myself sound happy for him, putting fake cheer in to my voice and making myself smile; hoping it made me sound like I wasn't actually dealing with a broken heart. Don't get me wrong, I genuinely was happy. I wanted him to get that title more than anything in the world and to be at the top of his career again. Still I knew the price I was going to have to pay, and that was letting him go. Knowing forever that our relationship was never going to be anything more than platonic.

"Stu" She said startling me "are you still there?"

"Yeah sorry Lisa" I replied quickly "Look my mum wondered whether you would come over and say hi tomorrow. She's been moaning at me for ages because she wants to meet you, and I said that I would ask you. It doesn't matter if you don't want to" I added quickly "I don't want you to think you have to"

"Of course I'd love to meet her" Lisa replied straight away "will she get out the baby photos" I heard her muffled laugh echoing in the background

"Not if I can help it" I smiled despite my mood

"Excellent. So shall I meet you same time, same place tomorrow?"

"Absolutely" I replied "get me a coffee while you a there" it was my standard line the night before we met; I said goodnight, and set my phone down just sitting and staring at the wall afterwards.

I couldn't believe that tomorrow was going to be the last time we met up, get a cup of coffee or just sit and chat. For some reason that trip to Costa was a reminder for me of the day when things got better in my life, when my life turned round again. The thought of not sitting at that table, waiting for her to come and sit down actually made me want to cry;

I knew I had to get myself together though, so I took a deep breath and tried to push my melancholy mood away. Her reaction to my news had made up my mind that although I wanted more, it was not what she wanted and I had to respect that; I had no right to feel the way I did, I had lost that opportunity the morning I had walked out on her.

I lay down on my bed, face in my pillow and tried to block out the feeling of dread that washed over me. We had laughed together, cried together, and piece by piece she had put me back together and made me whole. And all of a sudden I felt like I was being ripped in two.