A/N: Ok, so I realize (and thanks to someone that pointed this out) all the chapters are very short. And in reality, I have about 4 1/2 actual chapters written. So I'll either try more mini-chapters ever-so-often, OR I can post longer chapters that will take longer to come out. Let me know which you all want more of and I'll get crackin' on some more chaps in the meantime. Again thanks for the reads and reviews! Keep 'em comin!

I burst into the room and collapse on the couch, pushing aside a pair of tied together sneakers.

Warmth and good smells greet me; the only thing that's left of April: her housing skills.

"Hey Lex. Are you ok?" Alex is sitting in his Cheif Resident's desk. He's not Cheif Resident anymore of course, Tw- I mean Steve is, but Alex bullies him into letting him use his office..whenever he wants.

"Yeah. Or I will be. Hey, are the premies go-" He shook his head.

"Nah, but I'm gonna try and convince Jonie to get the surgeries, that way-" He laughed and shook his head again. "And other PEDs stuff. Well I'll let yah get to it then." He smiled, got his charts, and left.

I sank onto the couch and looked at the clock. 11:45. I looked at my hands. I unlatched my watch and then re-latched it. I took it off and then put it back on. I looked at the random food, and magazines, and Christina's socks thrown on the coffee table (pretty much all the Attendings use this office for storage still). I put my head in my hands.

And then I cried.

Quietly.

Because of dying and living and not seeing/talking/hearing/being with Mark and having to do all of those things in less than 2 hours after months of no contact. I cried because my life is back and I though I was going to lose it all.

I breathed in and patted my eyes with a stray (hopefully unused) tissue.

"Oh, ok Lexi come on! You can do this! You can do this! You don't have to talk to him if you don't want to!" And then I stop because I want to but I don't know how. Because I feel like I'm in limbo and the only way out is to talk to Mark, but I don't know how.

And then I look up at the clock, 11:57. I can start today. I can make my move.

So I get up, smooth myself over, and stand tall. Today I will talk to Mark. But first, I have to face reality.