I groaned as I squinted, I sat up though I knew it wasn't a good idea. This hangover was pretty bad...

"Looks like I went a bit over board this time." I felt a weight around my legs; I panicked as I looked down.

My eyes softened as I gazed at the sleeping Kaito, He was sleeping while sitting beside the bed.

I winced lightly as my head began to pound harder; I put my hand on his shoulder carefully to check if he was really asleep.

His sleeping patterns didn't skip a beat; I sighed out of relief and quickly used my spiritual powers to get rid of the pain.

I knew I had to get out of here quickly before he woke up; pain began to get a hold of my heart.

I had to do this quickly before I became unstable.

I grabbed a pillow and carefully with one arm lift him. I moved my legs and replaced it with the pillow swiftly, I moved lightly off the bed and tip toed my way out.

I grabbed a hold of the door knob and stopped debating weather to look back or not.

My eye's fell to my feet; I was ashamed of myself as I twist the knob and opened the door.

I held myself as I walked into the elevator at my building; I pushed for the doors to close. I kept my eye's down as someone stopped the elevator to walk in.

I didn't even have the strength to look at the stranger, I was honestly half attempted to go straight back down to the little bar at the lobby to get a drink.

But I needed air, I needed to BREATHE.

My breathing began to pick up as I reached my floor; I quickly got off and walked towards the end of the hall.

I reached my door but before I stopped I kept on walking, I began to break into sweat as I walked into the emergency staircase.

I walked up the steel steps to be present to another door. I opened it and it was raining, I walked across to the center and slid down to the ground and looked up.

Thoughts overwhelmed me and so did old painful memories. I couldn't help but break down, I screamed at the night sky and pouring rain.

It was way too high up for anybody to hear me; I began to hit the ground with my fist.

"WHY WAS I BORN TO LIVE THIS SHITTY LIFE?" I screamed some more and cried all in the process.

I sat there curled into a ball in the middle of the rain; it began to die down of course.

I wondered about suicide sometimes, I had a wonderful job, money, but nobody to share it with.

I had nobody to live for.

I grew tired and I cried so much I couldn't even get another tear out. I just had the after effect; numbness.

My eyelids grew heavy; I closed them not caring that I slept out in the open.

I just simply didn't care about anything right now.

I woke up expecting to ache from the cold ground I slept on or possibly in Soul Society and died from the coldness.

But it was neither of the two.

I narrowed my eye's, I was on my bed at the apartment as if nothing happened.

But I never slept on the bed; I was always tired from either work or drunk and fell asleep on the couch. Even the floor if need be.

Weird thing is that, this always happened when I did things like this. Like when I was being stalked and I walked into a random store and passed out.

I woke up in my bed.

I sighed and got up; I looked at the long mirror on my closet door. I looked terrible.

My hair was knotted up and pervious make-up was now smeared. I smelt like outside as well...

I began to strip the bed of the dirty sheets and took a shower.

I walked into the living room and saw the mess I left two nights ago. I tried not to think about it but even though I turned out this way and been living like this for so long, it pains me how things can't be different.

That I can't be happy and move on.

My door was knocking and I nonchalantly opened it, I was so lost in thought I didn't even take a second thought of looking first.

"Orihime!" I looked up surprised, "Hey!" I tried to sound optimistic but she knew.

She knew about everything already all in just one glance.

"Orihime I just wanted to talk..." I nodded, "All right, but let's get out of here. I need air anyways."

She looked at me and shook her head, "You did it again, didn't you?" Before I got a word in she pushed her way through and saw the liquor bottles on the floor.

"Oh god, Orihime..." She whispered, hearing her made me want to cry. Even though this wasn't the first time, it hurt.

She turned and grabbed my shoulders, "We need to get you help Orihime, you can't keep living like this!"

I looked down, "Tatsuki, please." I sat down on the couch and she sat across trying to look at my face instead of the empty liquor bottles.

"This isn't because of Ichigo right!" She cried, "Of course I didn't drink because of him!" I snapped.

I felt ashamed and looked down, she was worried about me, and she was the only person who did.

"Ichigo is an idiot when it comes to women...I beat him up at what he did. I didn't tell him why, for your sake."

I kept quiet, I was thankful for that. At least it wouldn't be awkward between us, though I don't wish to see him for awhile.

"He said some guy swarm in and took you away from the scene when you guys met up at the cafe."

Tears weld up, "Tatsuki that was Kaito." Her eyes widen and her mouth opened.

Tears began to wet my cheeks, "I've hurt him so bad Tatsuki..."

She stood up and hugged me like...like a mother.

She was my best friend but she used her motherly instincts when I was like this. When I was all alone and pathetic.

Sora used to hug me like this...

"You're afraid of losing him aren't you?" The tears disappeared and I looked up,

"He's already sixteen; he'll turn eighteen in two years, go to college and get married someday. There's no room in his life to worry about me! He has his whole life ahead of him. I got to take care of him for all these years and saw him grow tremendously."

She stayed quiet and moved away and sat besides me.

"I may be pathetic and lonely but I wouldn't stoop so low and take over his life so selfishly."

She pushed me so my head was leaning against her shoulder; we stayed in silence for a moment.

"You're just going to walk out of his life?" I closed my eye's, "Yes, If I were to stay around him he'd know that...I'm not the same, If he hasn't already figured that out."

"Isn't that running away?"

"I'd watch from afar." I felt her gaze as she looked at me, "No you wouldn't, that would hurt you more watching him grow up and you not being apart of his life. I'm sure it'd be the same for him."

I looked down and thought for a moment, "He's like the same little boy I knew, if I'm sad, he's sad. If I'm happy he's happy. I can't do that anymore...he's not a child."

Tatsuki stood up and my face planted to the couch cushion.

"Then if he's the same little boy we known and loved he will help you! You will get your strength back if you just let him!"

I stood up as well, "Haven't you been listening to a word I've said! He's not a little boy anymore! He doesn't need the burden!"

Tears formed, Tatsuki grabbed my wrist. "Where are you taking me?" She didn't answer; I yanked my wrist and turned back.

"I can't do this." I whispered, she didn't say anything as she left.

I sank to the ground and just sat there in the middle of my mess.

What the hell was I doing?

I just lay on my couch emotionless; I didn't have the strength to do anything.

I was falling apart.

I heard the door open and footsteps come into the living room. I didn't even bother to lock the door when Tatsuki left.

I felt arms go under me and scoop me up. I instantly grew alert after that, "Ichigo?" I said panicked.

Tatsuki was with him, we walked out the apartment. I began to struggle, "What the hell are you doing?" I shouted, Ichigo visibly flinched. He never seen me like this,

Pain crept into his eyes as if he felt responsible. "I didn't know you were hurting this much Orihime..." He kept his voice low so only I would hear.

I stayed silent, "You just seemed so strong I never would have guessed the stress was this bad..."

I pushed away from him lightly, "Stop it...stop it." I whimpered. My voice sounded utterly hopeless, I faced away from him as I started crying.

He hugged my body closer to him, "Everything will be alright."

"I promise."

Ichigo POV

"Kurosaki-sama, you have a visitor." The nurse opened the door and a pale looking Tatsuki walked in.

I stood up concerned, "Whats wrong?" I instantly said.

She looked up; pain was going through her eyes. "Ichigo...O-Orihime she's...broken."

She seemed to have trouble getting the words out. I walked to her side and pulled the chair for her to sit down, I sat beside her.

"It's been awhile now, no, it's been years, she can't deal with her loneliness and stress anymore and it's killing her inside. She's turned to drinking as comfort and it's gone too far."

My eye's widened, "Wait, your saying she's been drinking for years? Why haven't you told me sooner?" I raised my voice more than I should, she looked down ashamed.

"I thought that maybe she would find somebody already and we wouldn't need to go through all this."

I grew angry, "Tatsuki, she can't just be thrown into just some random relationship. That'd just hurt her more!" I shook my head and sighed,

"Why are we waiting until she has already fallen to catch her? What if we're too late?"

I stood, "We can't keep waiting until she collapses from malnutrition (Chapter6) or has to come to alcohol for comfort."

Tatsuki stood up and wiped her tears quickly, "I promise not to be too late Orihime, we're coming for you."

"Inoue-san, you have a visitor." the nurse called behind the door; since Ichigo was a head doctor here he had me get the best room.

I sigh, 'why am I here?' I simply didn't even care that he knew, it was bound to happen.

"Inoue-san?" my eye's widened, "Oda-san!" I sat up.

She put her hand up, "No, please, lay down I came to visit not to pester you." I felt uneasy being around this woman, there was always some sort of news she had to tell me.

"I might need to do some explaining," I tried to seem patient but she probably could tell I was tired...of everything.

"Well first I have to apologize to you; I never got to notify you that Kaito has regained his memory."

My mouth was open, "Was it you that told him!" She seemed ashamed and looked down,

"The boy was desperate. To the point that it was pathetic, he needed answers then or I feared he'd do something idiotic."

I would have cried then if I still had enough tears, "If you were just going to tell him, why didn't you just tell him back then!" My voice cracked,

"He was only a child Inoue-san; he's practically a man now and understands that you tried your hardest. I also kept my promise to you but now I need you to return the favor."

I looked down; I had nothing else to lose so whatever she wanted I'd probably give it to her.

She knows well of my status.

"I need you to take custody of Kaito Minoru."

Finally I got a chapter out! You guys I got so stuck about what to happen next I kept rewriting the chapter so many times in a lot of different plots that it's ridiculous.

I need some feedback! What do you want to see next? Any Ideas?