The next day Gibbs drove them both to NCIS headquarters. He had attempted to persuade her to stay at home and take some leave time, but she had point blank refused. She didn't want to stay at home and be reminded constantly that she was now alone; at least when she was at NCIS she felt comforted by the presence of other people, or at least she did before the team were disbanded.
She entered the bullpen as usual and sat at her desk, where she'd placed her mom's photograph and her signature red reading glasses the previous day. The three new agents were already there sat behind the desks of Tony, Ziva and McGee. She remembered Michelle Lee from her previous position with the MCRT when Gibbs had gone on his "margarita safari", as Jenny had put it, but the other two she had never met before.
'Good morning.' The agent sat behind McGee's desk said cheerily. 'I'm Special Agent Daniel Keating.' He added as he held out his hand to her to introduce himself.
'Penny.' She said as she shook his hand in response and as nicely as she could, although she didn't particularly feel like being nice.
'I'm Brent Langer.' Brent said as he also held out his hand, but he looked leerily at her which made her feel uncomfortable. 'So it's all been happening here the last couple of weeks huh?' He added.
'How do you mean?' She asked him, trying not to show that she was intimidated by him.
Normally men like Langer wouldn't bother her in the slightest, she had a strong disposition and the ability to quickly turn her words into a fiery weapon, but on this occasion she couldn't even bear the thought of trying.
'Well what with Director Shepard getting herself killed, and then your whole team being re-assigned…'
'Special Agent Shepard where is Agent Gibbs?' Leon Vance said as he entered the bullpen, just before Penny could reply, which was probably a good thing since she felt like smacking Langer in the face for his insensitive comments, especially the one about her mom.
She was about to reply to Leon, and explain Gibbs was away getting coffee, when the elevator doors opened and Gibbs strolled out with two cups in his hands.
'Your nine o'clock.' She replied simply, her tone sounding cold.
Leon acknowledged her comment and turned on his heel to greet the other agent.
'Gibbs I want a word when you're ready.' He said, meaning that he wanted a word in private right away.
Gibbs looked at Penny and they passed a look of knowing between them. He handed her the second cup in his hand, and she smiled when she smelt the sweet hot chocolate and peppermint syrup, her favourite. Once he'd handed it to her he left with Leon immediately up towards MTAC, and Penny very quickly left the bullpen to head down to Abby's lab. She didn't even bother saying anything to the other agents, but glared slightly at Langer as she left.
'Shepard?' Langer said quietly to Michelle and Keating as he watched Penny disappear.
'Yeah Shepard, she was Director Shepard's daughter.' Michelle filled in for him, and he groaned in response with his head in hands as he realised that he'd put both his feet in it.
'Hey Abs how you doing?' Penny said as she entered the lab before she was almost knocked over by the flying Goth.
'Oh Penny, are you OK?' She asked as she gripped her friend tightly, resulting in a small smile from Penny.
Abby had been really worried about her after yesterday's events, and had tried all night to get hold of her.
'Yeah I'm OK Abs…well as good as can be expected I guess.' Penny replied as she closed her eyes and hugged Abby tightly, receiving some comfort from her.
'Where were you last night? I've been trying to call you all night and you didn't answer. I've been so worried.' Abby scolded as she gripped Penny, terrified to let her go.
'Sorry Abs I didn't realise.' Penny replied as she stepped back a little out of Abby's bone crushing embrace. 'I was at Gibbs's last night, and…well, let's put it this way, I'm feeling a little bit fragile this morning.' She added with a small smile.
'Oh, I didn't check there…why didn't I check there?' Abby replied sheepishly as she grabbed Penny's hand and dragged her over to the wall by her windows. 'Do you like the pics of everyone? I'm trying to surround myself with our loved ones.'
Penny hadn't noticed before, but Abby had placed several photographs of Ziva, Tony and McGee on every surface beneath her windows. Next to the photographs was a poster she had made with a sad face on it and a post-it note stuck on with the number one written on it.
'Gibbs won't let this number get into double figures, I'm sure of it. I miss them already.' Abby said with a saddened sigh.
Penny smirked slightly as she looked at all the pictures, but she couldn't help feel that one person was missing. As if Abby had read her mind, she grabbed Penny's shoulders and span her slowly round to face the other wall, where she'd placed a framed photograph of Jenny next to a single black rose and a lit candle. Penny felt a pang of disbelief when she saw it, still hoping she'd wake up to find it all was a bad dream, but she was grateful for Abby's memorial to her. She placed her hands over Abby's which, were still resting on her shoulders, when Gibbs came into the lab.
He looked at them both looking at the photograph of Jenny, and then spotted Abby's memorial to her. He could feel their pain from where he was standing, without even having to look into their eyes.
'Penny I've just had a call, we've got a dead marine in the park.' He said quietly, not entirely sure she was up to dealing with a case so soon, but she made no objections.
They left the lab and re-entered the bullpen, both grabbing their gear from their desks. Penny was an experienced hand and was used to grabbing her bag, badge and gun quickly, but as soon as Gibbs had said the words "grab your gear", the three new agents seemed clueless as to what to do or to the urgency that he required from them. Both he and Penny were already standing at the entrance to the bullpen before the three new additions had even stood up from their desks. Gibbs looked annoyed, as did Penny. She hated change, and especially this one.
Once they'd arrived at the crime scene she headed off on her own and began taking photographs. Both Gibbs and Ducky were worried about her, and the ME didn't fail to take the opportunity to voice those concerns.
'How's she baring up Jethro?' He asked in hushed tones, slightly turning his back from where she was standing.
'Not good Duck. She's trying to make out that she's OK, but I know that she's not.' Gibbs replied as he watched her.
'Should she really be here right now?' Ducky said in concerned disbelief that the young woman had even considered coming to work, let alone that Gibbs had allowed her to be there.
'Probably not, but if I'm honest, I'm glad she is; means that we can keep an eye on her.' Gibbs replied honestly.
'Well I think this time you should persuade her to go home. I think it's too soon for all this.' Ducky explained with concern.
Penny glanced at Ducky and Gibbs and knew they were talking about her. She wished that they wouldn't worry about her so much, but was glad that they did as they were now the only family she had left to turn to in DC. She turned her attentions back to the crime scene, and noticed the similarities between the location and the diner where Jenny had died.
It was a rundown shack in the middle of nowhere on the dirt road to Rock Creek Park, and both the victims had been shot multiple times. As she stared at the dead marine, the other was a civilian, her mind began to drift off into images of the diner, and although she hadn't seen Jenny's body, her mind still filled in the blanks for her.
Gibbs noticed Penny standing stationary over the marine's body as she clutched her camera in both of her hands. He could see that she was in a world of her own, and knew that it was too soon for her to be working any crime scene, let alone a shooting. He approached her and slowly removed the camera from her hand without receiving any resistance from her.
'Go home Penny and get some rest; being here isn't going to do you any good. I'll finish up here and then I'll join you at your place as soon as I can OK?' He said to her softly as she continued to stare at the body below her.
He handed her the car keys and was grateful that they'd taken two cars instead of just the one. Penny wanted to object as she took the keys from him, wanted to stay and work and try to forget about everything going on around her, yet she found herself taking the keys from Gibbs without resistance, and even walked to the car without replying; she no longer had the energy to fight it.
She got into the vehicle and took a long, slow breath to help calm her, before she turned on the ignition and began driving the twenty seven miles home. She found that being alone in the car with just the radio on was relaxing, and that she actually felt at peace as she drove.
She parked the car outside her Georgetown home and looked at the empty building despondently. She slowly walked up to the front door and placed her key in the lock. She found even doing these short, simple tasks difficult to carry out and she couldn't understand why exactly. Her home had always given her a great source of comfort, but now all she felt was dread. As she entered her home though she glanced into the open study and remembered how she had felt after her father had died.
She remembered feeling lost, alone and completely devastated by his death, exactly the same as she felt now. Looking back she realised that she didn't feel the same pain that had been caused initially by his death, and that before Jenny had died she'd enjoyed being in the house even if she had feared the study greatly. At least that was something good about the situation she now faced, she was no longer afraid of the study.
She placed her rucksack on the floor at the foot of the stairs and walked through into the study. She lit the fire in the fireplace before pulling out a photograph album from one of the many drawers in one of the cabinets. She sat in the armchair closest to the fire place with the album resting on her knee, and found herself smiling as she looked over the photographs displayed in front of her. She thought that reminiscing over the photographs would have made her feel worse about her situation, but she found that it made her feel the complete opposite. For the first time in days she actually felt happy and contented as she remembered the happier times with her family.
She was so distracted by her happy memories that she hadn't realised that she'd been sat in the same spot for hours, or that the day had turned into night, or the fact that Gibbs had entered her home and was now standing in the doorway of the study.
He watched her as he leant against the door frame, and was relieved to see that she was smiling and didn't look like she had cried recently.
'Penny?' He said softly, hoping not to scare her or make her jump.
She looked up at him with a warm smile and he saw the old Penny return for a few moments.
'Hey Gibbs.' She said happily.
'You OK?' He asked her, a little concerned by her sudden change in mood, but then again he realised that there was no sense to grief; one minute you could be up and the next you could be down.
'Yeah, I can honestly say that at the moment I am.' She replied as Gibbs joined her in the seat opposite her beside the fire. 'I was worried that I was going to forget things about her, you know, stupid things like the way she used to smile, her laugh, the sound of her voice or even just what she looked like. But then I remembered that my dad passed away almost thirteen years ago, but I can still remember all the silly little things about him that most people wouldn't have even thought about.'
Gibbs sat and listened to Penny for the whole night, and enjoyed seeing her happy as she recounted her tales of her mom from when she was a child and showed him the photographs from her many albums. Penny was enjoying being able to talk about Jenny without feeling the constraints of her grief, and she found herself laughing, something she thought she'd never do again.
She knew that she was going to have her good days and her bad days, but today felt as if it was a step in the right direction.