So this is the second chapter in 'The Asthma Attack'. Tina is having a little trouble with her asthma again after the attack she had four years ago. But will Bette give her a hand now that Jodie is there with them? The story starts off at the beginning of episode 10, season 5 at the bike ride for breast cancer.
I would love to hear from you all what you think and if there should be a next chapter! Hope you enjoy the story!

I had absolutely not been looking forward to this Subaru Pink Ride. I wanted to compete for Dana and make money to cure breast cancer in the future but it felt like for me, it meant 2 days together with Jodie and Tina and thus a nightmare. I knew it was going to be hard. Tina and I had agreed not to see each other anymore because we knew that as soon as we were alone, we couldn't stop ourselves from touching each other and if this happend in a public place it would be the same as giving ourselves away. Now that I knew we had to be around each other two whole days - with Jodie there watching us – I knew it was going to be really hard to keep my thoughts to myself. I was scared Jodie would notice our connection and I knew that if she would, it would hurt her more than I wanted. That just wasn't the way she should find out. I wasn't quite sure what wás the way to tell her though, but I knew for sure this absolutely wasn't it.

But there we were, all together at the start of the race: 'Team Dana'. I had convinced myself to go, telling myself that not going would be even more suspicious. And besides, there were a lot of others so it wouldn't be too hard to keep a fair distance between Tina and me. I decided to ride in front of the group, by myself. That way I wouldn't have to see Tina or Jodie and I couldn't be tempted to ride next to Tina. It worked the first few miles. I had some time to myself to think and take in the beautiful surroundings. It felt good to just breathe in the fresh air, clearing up my mind and finally being able to think straight again. It was after the first pit stop Tina appeared at my side all of a sudden. It made me jump up at first. I wanted to drive faster and pretend I hadn't seen her coming so I could continue ignoring her. But she arrived too quickly for me react, and as soon as she caught up with me and I saw her beautiful smile the thought of pushing her away seemed like mad. "Hi Tee!" I said as I looked over at her. "I wanted to tell you something, good that you came over." She looked confused and surprised that I really wanted to talk to her. "You look really great in those sweat pants." The words spilled out of my mouth before I could stop them. It was just the first thing that came to mind as soon as I saw her. Fortunately she took it up as a joke.
She laughed and went a little red before she turned her head to look behind her and saw Jodie ridding just a few feet behind us. She turned back facing me and shook her head, still laughing at my remark she obviously hadn't expected. I nodded, as if to say I agreed with her that we shouldn't be talking to each other, at least not if we were going to keep on having the same conversation we were having at the moment. She smiled at me one last time before she held in. I ended up in front of the group again and she landed up next to Shane and Alice. I was better this way. Even though I really wanted to see her and I would have pulled her off her bike and into the bushes if Jodie wouldn't have been there, I knew we had to restrain ourselves.

We had all stopped at the second to last pit stop for a quick bite. Fortunately everyone seemed to be having a lot of fun and I had certainly loosened up a little since the encounter with Tina. I had even dared to trade my place in front for a place next to Alice, seen as Tina was on the complete other side of the group. She seemed caught up into a discussion with Shane & Molly and it didn't look like they would be shutting up any time soon. I had to admit that I was having fun, despite the constant fear I had of suddenly having another awkward encounter with Tina in front of Jodie.
The last few miles Tina had been ridding as one of the last ones of the group and I had found my safe space in front again. Tina arrived last at the pit stop and immediately sat down on a bench, not putting in much effort for starting a conversation or reaching over to take some coffee. I could only just stop myself from walking over and putting an arm around her. I could sense she needed comfort and I really wish I could give it to her. Tina really wasn't somebody to sit there so quietly with everybody around her chatting and having fun. I stayed were I was though and tried my best to not look at her so much. I convinced myself that she was just disappointed that we couldn't spend time together on this trip, that she was just pitying the fact that everyone was having fun with their lovers – Jenny and Nikki, Alice and Tosha, Molly and Shane, even max and Tim seemed to be having a good time – and she had to try her very best to keep as far away from me as possible while the only she (and I) really wanted, was to be as close to me as possible. I didn't blame her for sulking.

Soon we started off again and once again Tina and I took in our positions as if we had planned it this way. Once again I sunk into my own thoughts, glad that I had time to think things over for myself. It was a pity that even the fresh air and beautiful surroundings couldn't bring me to the right answer to my question: what on earth was I to do with my feelings and most importantly who was I to share it with?
I was awakened from my thoughts by a group of screaming people that past me when I realized I still hadn't figured out how to deal with everything that was going on in my life, what my feelings actually meant and what I should tell Jodie. I looked up, looking if Tina too had passed me seen as the screaming group turned out to be a part of 'team Dana'. It seemed like a part of our group had decided to race each other to the camp site but I couldn't seem to spot Tina among the group that was already so far in front of me that I could barely hear them talk. I carefully looked behind me, seeing that there were still a lot of people from our team behind me, and this time I was able to spot Tina. To my surprise though it seemed like she was having trouble keeping up. She rode behind everybody who was left of our group, leaving more than only a few feet behind the group and herself. Her head hang down as if there was something to be seen on the ground and it didn't really seem like she was trying to catch up with the group either.
My heart skipped a beat when I realized that something ought to be wrong with her. This was nothing like Tina at all! Her behavior at the last pit stop and now this! There was something wrong with her and this time I really couldn't convince myself that she was just feeling miserable for not being able to be with me. I had to think straight and try and figure out what to do. I couldn't just ignore her any longer, that was for sure.

As far as I could see, nobody had noticed that Tina wasn't able to keep up with the rest. I would have gone straight over to her if Jodie hadn't still been only a few feet behind me. But I couldn't hold it any longer. I really couldn't stand it any longer that there was something wrong with the person I loved the most and I had to tell myself I couldn't do anything about it. I had to do something and frankly I didn't really care that everyone could see it because after all I was one of her best friends and it was not like I was going to fuck her or anything. I was just going to see what was wrong, as a friend, that's all.

I shifted over to the side and stopped for a moment, letting the group pas. "What are you doing baby sis?" Kit said as she stopped pedaling for a moment while passing me by. "Tina is lagging behind, I'm just going to keep her company." I replied, choosing every word carefully so she wouldn't get suspicious for any reason. It seemed like she didn't really care because she shrugged and drove off towards the group. I looked behind me and saw Tina, still hunched over her steer. She had almost caught up with me so I slowly made my way to the middle of the road to meet her there. She jumped up as I came riding alongside her bike. She looked up at me and her eyes told me right away she felt troubled by something. "It's okay," I said to her, "I don't have to ignore you the whole trip do I? Besides, it seems like something is bothering you. I was worried." She looked down at her steer and nodded. It seemed like she was starting to drive slower and slower. I had to stop pedaling on order to keep up with her. The gap between the us and the group grew with every second.

"Bette, I…" Tina started. But she wasn't able to finish her sentence. She took a deep breath and coughed as she buried her face in her hands. She stopped pedaling and put her feet on the ground as soon as her bike had come to a stop. I braked and stopped next to her. I jumped off my bike before it had come to a stop, causing it to crash to the ground as I stumbled over it making my way to Tina.
As soon as she started coughing I knew what was happening to her. I had heard her coughing like that before and I understood right away this was more serious than I had feared when I saw her lagging behind only a few minutes ago. I moved closer to her, putting my arm around her shaking shoulders. "Your asthma is bothering you again, isn't it?" I asked her, trying not to sound panicked. It took some time before her reaction came. As soon as she was able to stop herself coughing she looked up at me with tears in her eyes. "Yes." Her voice was barely audible, she had obviously already been having trouble breathing for some time because there seemed to be no air left in her lungs to even speak. Even though I had barely heard what she said, the one word said more than enough. It was right then and there I realized she was really in trouble.

I carefully pulled the bike away from in between her legs and dropped it on the ground. I looked at her for a few moments and saw how she stood there in the middle of the road. Her head hang down, seeming like she had lost the power to keep it up. She looked really fragile and instable and as if she had just realized that herself, she bent down and put her hand on her knees trying to find grip there. She leaned into me as soon as I put my arm around her waist, scared she might fall over if wouldn't help her. She pressed her head against my chest and grabbed me with both hands as if she was just about to topple. I tightened my embrace and put my head next to her face. "Come one honey, let's go over to the side of the road and sit down." I don't know why I was telling her all this because it seemed like nothing I said really reached her. I could see in her with tears filled eyes that pain and fear were the only things that reached her right now.

I started walking slowly, pulling Tina along with me. Walking was hard for her and it apparently cost her a lot of energy because after she had hardly taken 5 steps she stopped. I knew that we weren't going to get anywhere if we were going to carry on like this. She had to sit down and gain strength to breathe. She really couldn't carry on like this for much longer without collapsing from oxygen shortage. I bent down, reaching for Tinas legs, swinging them over my arms. With my upper arm tucked under her arm and Tina's torso leaning into me, I carried her over to the strip of grass that was next to the road. I felt her tear stained eyes against my skin as she pressed her head against my neck. Her breathing sounded frightening loud all of a sudden now that she was so close to me. The sound of her troubled breathing scared me. I knew the attack was already quite severe, judging by the fact she wasn't even able to walk. The sound of her high pitched wheezing and the sound of her chocking every now and then made it all seem much worse than I already thought it was.

I put her down and sat myself down behind her so she could lean in against me as I sat up against a tree. Tina was now leaning in on me with her full weight and lay in my arms like a all of her spirit had left her body. I pulled her closer and hugged her, trying to get her to sit up to be able to breathe properly but it seemed like the only thing I was getting out of her were more wheezes and an overload of tears that ran down her face, numb with fear. In my head I was trying to find comforting words to tell myself, trying to convince myself everything would be alright in the end. The problem was that all that would come to mind was that Tina just wasn't going to make it. I couldnt think of anything that gave me hope and showed me everything would pass. How on earth could I help her if I myself was terrified of what was going to happen next?

Last time Tina had an attack, I luckily remembered that I had put an inhaler in the drawer next to my bed. I had found it between Tina's stuff just after she had moved out while I was taking out her stuff, banishing every single thing from the house that would remind me of her. It just didn't feel right though to throw it out. Nevertheless, the moment I found it I really felt like crushing it and throwing it away immediately. It felt like I was losing her more and more at that time, like somebody who had always been 'mine' ssuddenly became a stranger. Finding the inhaler felt like I found an important part of her life she hadn't shared with me, not even after 8 years together and it hurt. I wasn't able to throw it away though. Somewhere in the back of my mind I hoped that she would eventually come back and need it.

The problem was that now, I had of course not brought the inhaler and I was quite sure Tina hadn't either. Tina and I had been real good friends since I 'saved her ass', as she always referred to it. We had spent lots of time together the past few years, just as freinds. Especially the past few weeks we had seen each other about every day and it felt like our encounters seemed to get more intense every time we saw each other. But however much time I spent with her, since the attack more than 4 years ago she had never showed any trouble breathing again. Apparently she didn't have severe asthma so I wouldn't blame her for not bringing the inhaler, seen as it was so long ago she was reminded she even had it. I guess it just doesn't come to your mind to bring an inhaler unless you are confronted with the consequences. I couldn't help still asking her if she had brought i, just in case. Until I asked, I wasn't sure if she had the key to her own savior. Until I asked, there was a small chance that she had brought it and everything would be alright after all. I didn't have much confidence in hearing the answer I wanted to hear so badly though, but it was worth the try.

"Honey, did you bring your inhaler?" I asked it softly, afraid I might scare her talking iso loudly al of a sudden after a long silence during which only her breathing was to be heard. I felt her move restlessly in my arms as she tilted her head back and looked in my eyes. The tears were gone and were replaced by an awfully troubled look in her eyes. It was as if she had just seen a ghost and still couldn't believe it. She shook her head softly at my question and coughed as she hunched over and clutched her chest. It sounded like she was chocking on something. She tried desperately to draw in air every time she found a few seconds free from the coughing, but she would almost abruptly cough out her lungs a few seconds later. I leaned forward and ran my hands along her back, trying desperately to do something to ease the pain she was obviously in. "Tee, It's going to be alright. I'm here with you. Nothing can happen. Just relax." I spoke the words but they didn't seem to be coming from me. It was like someone was telling me to tell Tina this, just so she would calm down and breathe. I just hoped it did seem convincing to her because for me, it was all a lie. I wish I could start believing it myself.
Tina did seem to be convinced that I was right. I felt how she fell into my embrace again and pressed her shaking body into mine. It seemed like she thought I really would be able to help her and get her through this. It was heart breaking to feel her so close to me, trusting I could help her but knowing I had to disappoint her in the end. But I knew I couldn't give up. I didn't want to disappoint Tina who trusted me. I was going to find a way to help her.. Eventually.

With every hesitation I heard in Tina's breathing, I started to realize more and more that I didn't have so much time left before Tina would pass out right here in my arms. I hadn't the slightest idea how long it had been since I pulled her off her bike and put her in between my legs but I knew for sure it was more than long enough for her asthma to take her over completely. I had do to something, now.

I reached into my pocket, taking out my cell phone and stared at the screen. Who on earth was I supposed to call? Nobody knew where we were, nor were to find the nearest inhaler to save Tina's life. Just as these thoughts were running through my head I felt the phone vibrate in my hand and saw the little screen light up. It showed the name of the person who was calling: Kit. I hastily put the phone to my ear smiled as I heard her say: "Baby sis, where are you and where's Tina? We all made it to the last pit stop. You're taking ages to get here." She spoke calmly, not insinuating anything about what we would be doing. I was really gratefull for that because having her think we were having fun together in the bushes was the last thing I could use. Before she could start her next sentence I interfered. "Kit, Tina's having trouble. Please drive back to where I held in to keep her company and bring your inhaler, and hurry!" I spoke softly and tried to sound as calm as possible. I didn't want to scare Tina by starting to panic.

Kit had apparently understood the message and quickly hung up. I sighed with relief as I put the phone back into my pocket. I knew now that I didn't have to worry about disappointing Tina anymore. Her trusting me had been for a reason. Why hadn't I thought of Kit before? When we were younger she had had some bad attacks and I was often the only person there to help her. That's why I knew how to help Tina the first time I found her in the bathroom. Keep her calm, tell her to breath slow and not to panic and most importantly make sure she wouldn't cry. Kit always told me that crying made the attack much worse than it already was but the fear and pain during an attack would make it really hard to stop tears from rolling down your face. Not many people knew that Kit still had trouble breathing every now and then, and she would rather keep it that way. She didn't want anybody to worry about her and it seemed like Tina too hadn't told anybody about her condition for the same reason. I didn't care really that Tina knew now about Kit's asthma. The only thing that mattered was that Kit always took her inhaler with her wherever she went. This time the inhaler was going to save the life of the love of her life. She couldn't be more grateful for it.

I spent the minutes before Kit arrived trying to calm Tina down and for the first time in ages it seemed to be working a little. She had stopped crying and she had found the strength to sit up straight and open up her lungs, finally breathing properly. Her breathing had even started to slow down and it seemed like at last she was hearing what I was telling her. I could hear the deep wheezy breaths she took as she once again buried her head into my neck. I knew she was still getting nowhere close to enough air, but it seemed a wee bit better than minutes ago. She at least didn't seem to choke on her own lungs with every cough anymore.
"Good Tee, that's it. Just breathe, Kit will be here soon." I spoke with my head close to hers, running my hand through her beautiful blond curls and wiping the hair from her face that stuck to hre forehead, drenched with cold sweat.

It didn't take long for I spotted Kit approaching in the distance. She came closer fairly quick, obviously driving really fast. She threw her bike into the grass roughly and ran over to us. "I didn't know that.." she almost shouted to us - breahtless from the fast riding - before she fell on her knees before Tina.
"Kit!" is whispered loudly. She wisely shut her mouth, reaching for the inhaler in her pocket and handed it over to me. She stared at the two of us, apparently shocked by the scene.
Tina had stressed up a little now Kit had arrived. She knew that Kit was going to bring an inhaler but apparently something about her made Tina a little nervous. She started turning nervously in my arms, as if she couldn't find the right position. She started coughing again and squirmed out of my embrace as she bent over and grabbed her chest again. It was the first time since she had answered 'yes' to my question if she was having trouble breathing that she started talking again, or at least tried to start talking when she said (or rather wheezed): "B..B… Bette.. I ccan't bb.. I..I .." She hadn't been able to say much but even these few 'words' were too much for her. She took a deep wheezy breath and started coughing again. Her words had been filled with so much fear that I had to do my best to stop the tears from running down my face. Her words had sounded like a cry for help, she sounded so helpless. I clutched the inhaler in my hand, begging it to be the answer to Tina's fear.
I looked up at Kit and said: "Kit, maybe you should.." It was enough for Kit. She nodded, got up and looked worried at Tina for a second before she turned to me. "I'll leave you two alone. Take good care of her." She seemed to finally understand whispering was a better idea. She turned around, picked her bike up off the grass and rode off.

As soon as Kit had left I turned back to Tina. I had to get her calm so I could give her a puff of the inhaler. I put my hand on her back and lent forward. "Honey, calm down. I know you're having trouble breathing but it won't get better if you don't calm down." Rapping my arms around her waist I pulled her back into my embrace and held her against me so she could sit up straight. She struggled at first but it seemed like she understood that she had to let me help her in order to get this attack over with. I waited for her coughing to stop before I shook the inhaler. "Breath slowly now, relax. In.. and out, in... and out. That's right, not too fast." I tried to get her breathing to slow down but apparently it was really hard for her to breath any slower than she was at the moment. 'That's right' was meant more to encourage her than to tell her she was actually doing better. She was absolutely not doing any better, actually she was even doing worse than before! I did however decided that this pace had to do, to give her her first puff. I knew that if she would be able to get only just a little bit of the meds into her lungs, she would soon start breathing better in order for her to take a deeper breath and get the meds deeper into her lungs.

"Exhale deeply darling." I said calmly. Even though it was a short exhalation, I felt that she was doing her best to do what I told her. "Now breath this in as deep as you can honey." I put the blue tube in between her lips. I felt how she grabbed my fist that was holding the inhaler with her clammy hands as if she wanted something to hold on to as she tried hard to inhale the medicine. I could feel she was really doing her best to inhale really deeply when I pushed down the canister but it didn't seem to work. However hard she tried, she only inhaled really briefly before she once again started coughing. With the inhalation the air could have hardly passed her throat, let alone reach her lungs. I felt so hopeless. I could talk to her and keep her calm, I could be there for her and I could get her the meds she needed but I just couldn't put the meds into her lungs. She really had to do this herself and if she wasn't going to be able to get any meds into her soon, there was nothing left for me to do.
Apparently I wasn't the only one who started to get worried. I saw tears appear in her eyes again as she dropped her head on my shoulder. She tried to say something but I couldn't make anything more out of it than 'breathe'. "Ssshht. Don't talk Tee." I tried to shush her but honestly, the only thing I could think of was her petrified face with her bloodshot eyes as she hopelessly pushed out air, trying to form words.
the hope I had had since Kit had brought the inhaler had almost gone completely, but her beautiful face – despite the tears – gave me the last bit of hope I needed to convince myself to keep on trying. It would work eventually, right?

"Honey, listen to me. You're going to be all right, ok? I promise with all my heart you'll be ok. We have the inhaler now and as soon you get this in your lungs everything is going to be over. We have to try again." I had to talk to her to keep her with me because it felt like her mind was slipping away every time she got caught up in her rapid breathing. "In through your nose, out through your mouth. Good, in through your nose, out through your mouth." At last it seemed like she understood what had to happen in order for the attack stop. She started breathing deeper and slower, finally! Her breathing wasn't uncontrollable anymore and it looked like she had found a way to calm herself. After a deep sigh, I put the tube between her lips and she finally took a really deep breath. She was even able to hold her breath for a few seconds after inhaling the medicine, which was a very good sign especially in her condition. It felt like at last my body could rest, my task had been done. Tina had finally received the treatment she needed and I knew now for sure everything was going to be allright. I put my head on Tina's that was still on my shoulder and kissed her forehead. "Good!" I whispered into her ear. And for the first time in what seemed like hours, I could see a smile appear on her face.

We sat there for an uncertain amount of time. Her breathing improved fairly quickly and after two extra puffs it seemed like she had at last overcome the attack. She still lay in my arms, snuggling up to me and eventually putting her arms around me and hugging me. I kissed her hair and put my head on hers, finally feeling like the love of my life was safe again. It was a great feeling to know that all of the danger had ceased at last. Half an hour ago I was still scared of losing her and now she was lying here in my arms, her arms around my waist, and feeling all better. I was at last free to love her again instead of feeling afraid of losing her. All that was left now was fatigue and exhaustion after all the effort we both put in the mission to get Tina breathing again.

Everything that had happened made me forget where we actually were and what we were doing before Tina's attack had started. I couldn't help but hope Jodie would come across us sitting here against the tree together. It would be so much easier for her to see us like this than to tell her everything that had happened between Tina and me in the past few weeks. The drive I had had before, doing my best to keep away from Tina had disappeared completely and had turned into the drive to be as close to her as possible. I had been so scared I was going to lose her that the others actually didn't really mean anything to me anymore. I really couldn't feel bad towards them for helping Tina the way I did and eventually showing how much I still loved her. Tina was the person that counted and I was going to tell them & Jodie, sooner or later…
I pulled Tina in closer and kissed her temple as I said: "Tina, I love you." The big smile on her face was enough for me to know what she was thinking. "I love you too, Bette."