"What the fuck Brittany? It's not like i can help it" Santana spun round to face brittany square on, waiting for her response.
"Yes, I know that, but the least you could do is make a little effort. You've worked late every single night this week and all you do is come home to sleep, it's like im not even here!" There were tears stinging in the corners of Brittany's eyes. Underneath her anger, she really just missed her wife, but when she brought up the topic, Santana had jumped to defend herself.
" You know what? This is stupid. I'm not having this argument with you right now." Santana made her way to the door, car keys in hand.
"Wait, where are you going?" Brittany's hand wrapped around Santana's wrist in a soft but vice like grip.
"Out." She pulled herself free from her wife and then left, slamming the door behind her. The tears now flowed freely down Brittany's face.
"I just miss you" the words came out as a soft whisper, and Brittany just continued to cry.
The bright morning sun beat down on Brittany's bare body as it crept through the curtains in her apartment. She squinted and scrunched up her nose at the rude awakening. She rolled over, hands seeking out her sleeping brunette but when her hands just gripped cold empty sheets, reality washed over and felt like a slap in the face. She choked out a soft sob, and the the morning bliss she had been feeling just seconds ago was quickly erased. Brittany managed to drag herself out of bed and get ready, as if she was on autopilot. When she reached the hospital, the sight of Santana didn't fail to shock her even though she knew what to expect. She sat down in the uncomfortable visitors chair that was placed next to her bed and took Santana's hand in her own. The pad of her thumb stroked softly across the back of Santana's hand.
"Baby, I need you to wake up" She willed the words to float through Santana, and for her to regain consiousness. Brittany didnt like the idea of coming here everyday and pouring her heart out to her wife when she didnt even know if she could here her. Suddenly she had an idea, she went out to the nurses station and asked for some paper. When she got back in to the room she retreived a pen from her purse and began to write...
"Okay now look up, to the left, and right, and then down. That looks good. Well Santana it looks like the only damage from the accident is some weakness down you left side and your speech. I know not being able to talk is pretty frustrating but making a full recovery will take time along with some therapy sessions. But with Brittany to support you, I'm sure you'll be fine" Dr Evans smiled warmly at Santana until he noticed the perplexed expression on her face. He grabbed his pen and gave her his clipboard in order for her to communicate. He looked at her shaky handwritting on the paper where she had written Brittany's name with a question mark.
"Oh, she's um...a friend of yours" He quickly covered and she just nodded in response. He left the room and collided with Brittany. As soon as she had heard the news that santana had woken up, she left her dance class and drove straight over. Dr Evans helped steady her and asked if they could talk in his office.
Brittany sat opposite Sam as he seemed to struggle with what to say.
"Um...well...she has relatively minor damage, she's got some damage to her speech and her left side is fairly weak, over time that can be sorted out with speech therapy and physio" Brittany nodded furiously taking in all the information, she was litteraly jumping out her seat, she was so excited to see santana that mid conversation she had moved her eyes to stare at the door.
"But..." Sam went on to say, and Brittany's eyes snapped back to his.
"Britt, theres no easy way to say this she...she doesnt remember you. We dont know if its long term or short term memory loss but yeah...I'm so sorry" Over the three months that Santana had been unconsious, sam had been a great source of support for Brittany, he had got an insight of how truly unique their relationship was and how strong she felt for Santana, so to deliver this news to his now friend, was heartbreaking for him.
Brittany took in what Sam had just told her. How could santana not remember her? Surely he had to be wrong and she was just confused, but the sad look on Sam's face told her that he was not wrong. Her body was too weak to cry, she had cried too much so she decided that she just had to deal with it like she had dealt with everything else. Her lips formed a tight line and she nodded once.
"Is it okay for me to see her though?" Her voice was shaky but sam nodded and took her through to santana's room.
Brittany walked in the room and saw santana. She looked amazing. Beautiful. Stunning. She was sure she had only woken up earlier today but she already looked like her old self, maybe she was a little thinner, but still, she looked like her old Santana. Before Brittany could stop herself she started crying and ran to pull Santana into her arms. She inhaled deeply, even three months in a hospital bed couldnt take away her honey like scent. When she released Santana, she looked into her eyes, ot was clear that she had no idea who brittany was and was slightly worried by the greeting. It broke Brittany's heart, but she had to be strong. She had to be there for Santana.
"I...I'm sorry, I should of introduced myself" she let out a shaky laugh, she rubbed furiously at her eyes to rid them of tears.
"Im Brittany, I was...um...I think I still am your best friend" She decided that telling santana that she was married to her would of been a bad idea so she settled for the next best thing, not entirely true, but still not a lie.
Santana smiled politely and pointed over Brittany's shulder to where a pad and paper lay. Brittany promptly passed it over to Santana and waited patiently as she stuggled to write her words on the paper.
Its nice to meet you again Brittany, I'm sure you already know who I am.
Again, brittany released a shaky laugh. She didnt know how she was supposed to go about the whole situation. But who would know what to do when the love of your life, the meaning of your existance, forgets who you are? She decided it would be best to just start from the beginning.
"Do you know what happened? Like...why you're here?" Brittany stared intently as Santana began to write again.
No, no one has got to that part yet, do you know what happend?
Brittany thought back to the night that they had argued, a slight shiver rippled down her spine. Santana waited patiently for an answer.
"You were hit by a drunk driver when you were at some traffic lights" Santana's eyes widened in shock.
Is my car okay?
This caused brittany to laugh out loud, her wife was always worried about the wrong things. She could see Santana smile at her reaction and this made brittany feel slightly better.
"Yes, it's fine, I made sure I got it to the shop to get fixed up, it's as good as new"
They carried on their conversation for a while. Brittany answering all of Santana's questions. Santana asked how her and bittany had met and how close they were before the crash, she asked about her family and her job. When she asked Brittany shyly if she had a girlfriend before the crash, it caught her off gaurd. She took what felt like a lifetime to figure out how to answer her question. In the end Brittany just settled on a nod, Santana took brittanys reaction to mean that they were no longer together, but that was fine for her as she didnt remember. Little did she know she had got it all wrong.
When the nurse entered the room to let Brittany know that visiting hours were almost over, Santana felt a sense of dissapointment that she didnt expect. Even though she didn't remember Brittany, she had really enjoyed her day with her. She expected the encounter to be awkward, but it was the complete opposite, Brittany made her feel comfortable in a way that she couldnt grasp. She ripped the current piece of paper from the notepad and launched it in the genral direction of the bin to join the many others that held Santana's side of the conversation along with some very cute pictures Brittany had doodled. She made a mental note to make sure those didnt get thrown away. She didnt know why she wanted to keep them, she just did. She grabbed her pen and started writing another note to Brittany.
I can't tell you how sorry I am for not being able to remeber you, I really wish I could, but I can tell why you were my best friend to begin with. I had a really good day today Brittany, so thank you.
Brittany welled up as she read the note which was followed up by a number of hearts. Santana leaned towards her with her right arm in order to wrap her up in a hug. Brittanys tears started to cause tears Santana's eyes to fill up with tears of their own.
"I um...while you were in your coma, I wrote letters to you. I felt kinda silly talking to you while you where knocked out so I just wrote it down instead. Each one is a memory that I have of us, considering the situation maybe it would be a good idea to let you read some of them. Only if you want to of course..." Brittanys voice trailed of, santana grabbed Brittany's hand and squeezed it hard, she nodded to Brittany, letting her know that she would very much like to read these letters. Brittany smiled in return.
"Okay well ill drop one off tomorrow, I have work so I wont be here until a bit later, but I will make sure to pop by." She stood up and started to gather her stuff as Santana just watched on sadly. Brittany leant over and kissed santana on her cheek and then left the room silently. Santana's cheek burnt where brittany's lips had been.
She was getting incresingly frustrated that she couldnt remember someone so wonderful being in her life. Even though she had been full of smiles, she could see the pain in those baby blue eyes of hers every time Santana had to ask another question.
Santana vowed to herself that she was going to try. She was going to try her hardest to get better, to be able to talk to brittany, to be able to walk around with her, and most of all to remember her. She was going to make sure that she would remember her, because the pain in brittany's eyes cause sananta pain too.