Be the confused Knight
You change your Pesterchum setting to idle, before pushing away from your computer and exiting your room. You were still highly confused by your conversation with Rose, but there seemed to be nothing to do but what she had told you to. Talk to Bro. He's actually home for once, and now was as good a time as any to ask him about this. Leaving your room, you find him sprawled on the couch playing some shit video game. That's a surprise, not. You walk over and flop down next to him, grabbing the remote as you do so, before turning the television off.
"Dude, not cool," he exclaims, throwing his hands into the air.
You ignore his complaint. "Bro, we need to talk."
"If you're having some kind of mid-puberty crisis, I don't give a shit. There are more important things in my life to care about."
You roll your eyes behind your shades. "Bro, being serious here. I need to ask you something."
He seems to have caught onto the fact that this was actually serious, as he places down the controller and shifts to face you. "Okay, I'm all ears. What's up?"
"Who's Roxy? Lalonde."
He freezes. "Never heard of her."
"Bullshit."
He looks at you, then sighs, running a hand over his face. "How do you know that name?"
"Never mind that. So you do know her?"
"Of course I know Roxy; she's probably my closest friend. Why?"
"I don't know, my friend told me to ask," you tell him. So far this wasn't actually going anywhere. "Rose. You know, purple-text wannabe psychologist. The one you talk to sometimes."
"...Please tell me her surname isn't Lalonde."
"It is. Roxy's her mom. So, what's the story here?"
He pauses and turns back to the now off television. You simply sit and wait, knowing he'll start talking soon. After a few minutes, he sighs again, then meets your eyes.
"Okay. Shit. I guess it is time for you to know."
"Know what?"
"Okay. So, you know how whenever you asked about our parents, I'd always give you some cagey bullshit answer that didn't really answer anything?"
"...yes?"
"Well, there's a reason for that. Nothing happened to our parents, but in either case, they're not the same people. I'm... Well, to put it simply...I'm not actually your Bro."
"What."
"Yeah... I'm your dad. I guess I got you to call me Bro since I never felt like I was ready to be a dad, you know? I was only sixteen."
He pauses, and runs a hand through his hair. You can tell he's quite stressed by the situation.
"So, Roxy?" you press.
"She's your mum. Yeah... I was actually meant to have this conversation with you anyway. See, me and Rox have been talking over some stuff, and we've decided we'd like to try again. If it was okay with you and Rose, of course."
"So, is Rose my sister? I'm related to her?"
"She's your twin, to be honest with you. We decided we weren't ready to be a family, so, we took a kid each and split. But, whaddaya say? You cool if we become a big happy family? I mean, you obviously know and like Rose already."
"I... Shit bro, dad, whatever... I'm going to need a bit of time for this to sink in, alright? Just... Just give me a while, will you?"
With that, you stand up and nearly run back to your room, closing the door after yourself. You sink to the floor, sitting dazed for a while. So, Bro's my dad, huh... wow.
A ping from your computer snaps you out of your stupor, and you pull yourself off the ground to sit at your desk. There's a notification from John flashing on your screen, but at the moment you couldn't care less. You exit out of the conversation window before clicking on Rose's name.
turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]
TG: rose
TG: rose talk to me
TG: come on woman it says youre online
TT: Calm yourself, Dave. I'm here.
TT: I assume you've talked to Bro?
TT: Or should I say, Father?
TG: oh god
TG: please tell me this is some huge prank youre all pulling on me
TG: no offence or anything rose but i dont particularly want to be part of the lalonde family
TG: and thinking about bro being my dad is just weird
TT: Yes, I can understand that. I'm not sure why he'd set himself up as your brother. It was guaranteed to end on an odd note.
TT: But, this isn't a joke. Yourself and I are in fact twin siblings, and Mother and your "Bro" are our parents.
TT: Which now brings us to the current issue.
TG: and what would that be
TT: Whether or not we would like to move in together.
TG: ew
TG: girl cooties
TG: but really apart from the whole wow holy shit i have parents thing
TG: and the wow holy shit im related to rose thing
TG: i have no problem with moving in with you guys
TG: your house is big enough right
TT: We'd have plenty of space, trust me. Especially seeing as I assume Mother and Dirk would be sharing a room.
TG: oh god dont remind me
TG: truth be told i didnt actually think bro was people-sexual
TG: dad
TG: fuck thats going to take a long time to get used to
TT: You'll manage, I'm sure.
TT: But, I'll let you go inform Father that you're okay with the moving.
TT: Do try not to lose your cool over it.
tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]
TG: stop disconnecting on me jesus
TG: fine leave see if i care
You remove your shades before sinking your face into your hands, elbows resting on the desk. Well, this going to be horrible.
You stand up slowly, replacing your shades and running a hand through your hair to ensure it's in place, then make your way to the door, pushing it open. It creaks slightly, and Bro looks up as you exit your room. Dad. Anyway. You walk back over and sit on the couch again, still tense. He looks at you expectantly.
"Well?" he pushes after a few moments of silence.
"I just talked to Rose. Apparently we're moving?" you reply, crossing your arms.
"Ah, yeah... Would you mind? I know that this is a lot to take in, but... we cool?"
"Yeah, sure. One thing though," you ask.
He raises an eyebrow over his shades. "Shoot."
"Why'd it take so long for you to decide to tell me? I mean, shit, yes, it is a lot to take in, because you've basically just taken the image I've had of you my entire life, and shattered that completely. To state the obvious, "my life is a lie". Look, I guess I'm just disappointed? Did you not trust me enough?"
You see him open his mouth to answer, but you continue.
"Also, the fuck am I supposed to call you now? "Bro" does not cut it anymore," you finish, physically adding the quotation marks.
"Fuck, Dave, now I feel terrible. I do trust you. You're one of the few people who I actually do. It was more my issue... Like I said, I didn't feel ready to be a dad, so I was basically trying to kid myself into forgetting I was one. And I really don't know. Call me dad if you want," he flops his head back to rest on the couch.
"Just warning you, Rose is already calling you Father," you tell him. You think it's a good sign that you're feeling up to verbal quips again. You're still not 100% happy with him, but fuck if you're going to show it. He groans in reply.
"Jesus Christ, that makes me sound old. I'm not old. I'm very much the opposite of old," he rolls his head to the side, meeting your eyes. "So, I take it you're feeling better about this?"
"As much as I'll probably ever be."
AN: Aaah this is short and terrible and late ;_;
Also I have great difficulty writing Dave, as you may have noticed. Every other Strider/Lalonde, sure, I can do that. But not Dave...
Anyway, hope you enjoy :)
RnR please