Disclaimer: I do not own Blood and Chocolate, nor any of the characters. This is strictly fan written.

Well enjoy.

-Jane

The rest of the day was uneventful and she avoided her moody cousin and instead found some sweet tea Esme had made and sat herself on the porch once more. Even though she didn't like it here, the porch was by far her favorite place.

She had found one of her mother's old books from the vanity and settled for the sounds of the working pack and the arguing of the boys who were only yards away from her. She could also see Gabriel, her father, and Bucky working on an older truck. Rudy pointed at some thing under the hood and Gabriel reached over and wiggled some thing, shaking his head.

Suddenly, she remembered how at the old inn, her, Esme, and her mother would make lunch for the pack members who worked outside and take it to them. The twin's father and Gregory's dad had also loved it. Most of the pack men where spoiled during those days. Some thing in her chest ached for that old memory and she decided that the book was no longer interesting.

She went into the kitchen from the screen door and searched the counters, pantries, and shelf's for a cook book. Finally she found a little box that the pack women put all their recipes. She flipped through them, each she remembered eating at one time at a table with her family. Finally, she found a pasty recipe and Ava smiled. At the bakery she worked at they made them with bread dough instead of pie crusts. Her boss called them walking Sunday dinners because you could eat them like a sandwich.

It was still early enough to mix bread dough and let it rise. It took her a while to find all the ingredients but she finally had the dough covered and let it rise. She found the left over roast beef from last night and took the potatoes and mashed them. The extra juice in the container she poured in a skillet and warmed it up. She would make gravy. Men liked gravy.

She pre-heated the oven and then after making sure the dough was ready, she made neat little buns with the meat and potatoes tucked inside. She retrieved the book and tea once more and settled down in the kitchen, only getting up to check on the temperature of the beef broth in the skillet.

Her earlier thoughts of the book returned. It truly was uninteresting. She wasn't much for romance novels anyway. She preferred real love.

"Wow, it seems like Betty Crocker decided to visit us today."

Ava turned around and saw Reneta and Esme. They both looked tired and worn out and by the smell, had been cleaning up in the top floors, where the heat was the worse.

Ava shrugged and began on the gravy. "I was bored. I am making lunch for the boys."

"Oooo." Reneta peaked in the oven window, licking her lips. "Those look tasty. Write down the recipe and put it in the box." She danced over to the stove. "You may give Esme a run for her money."

Esme laughed and threw her head back, giving Reneta a cheeky look. "It runs threw her vains. Her grandmother could cook, her mother, her father, and myself and I think Vivian is catching on to it took."

Ava smiled. Maybe she was being to hard and stubborn before. She was enjoying this time. Maybe if she didn't fight it, she would have a decent time with the pack after all.

"Vivian can cook meat, Esme...she can't bake a pie to save her life." Reneta shivered in disgust and threw her arm around Ava's shoulders. "So you are up to the the challenge of trying to please the alpha female? You are brave."

Ava sniffed nonchalantly and elongated her neck in pride. "She doesn't scare me. I grew up with her and lived with Esme for a while. I ain't scare of no cranky teenager."

Esme gaped at her and then pouted. "What is that supposed to mean?" She cried. "I was a good auntie!"

"You liked to paddle my butt." The timer went off and Ava grabbed the oven mitts and went to the oven.

"Well then you shouldn't have been such a little shit." Esme posed herself delicately and then tilted her head. "So you really work in a bakery."

Ava set down the hot pan and prodded the smallest bun, to make sure it wasn't burnt. Proud of herself she stepped back like an artist to a painting. "Sure do."

"Have you made a wedding cake before?" Reneta raised her eye brow and waited till Ava turned around to scoot a hot bun off the pan and towards her. Now she had to wait for the gravy.

Ava sighed. "Not by myself no...but I didn't want to tell Vivian that. I mean, its stupid some one would take her order and then dump it last minute. She's getting married. People who do it right only get one wedding. That is unless, some thing happens and...well you know." She shrugged and turned around, frowning at Reneta when she saw the 'stolen' bun.

"Will you ever reconsider coming back? I know this isn't your home and the pack is different, but kiddo, a lot of us miss you. The Five almost jumped out of their fur when they heard you where coming back. Bucky is desperate to have you back." Esme pleaded. "And I know Rudy doesn't live here but he misses his baby. Four years is a long time."

Ava grew quiet and stirred her gravy slowly. Bucky wanted her home, her father wanted her home, the Five, her aunt. But Esme did have it right. This wasn't her home. "I can't come back."

Esme sighed and threw up her hands. "Explains everything."

Ava made her escape when she went to deliver her gifts to the boys out side. The Five almost crawled all over her and they called that she was the one and only love of their lives. That is what she gets for being a good cook, she supposed. When she approached the truck, the three men could smell the food and they removed themselves from the vehicle.

"Oh, Ava, this is wonderful." Rudy took the paper plates and set them on the tail gate of the truck. He also took the bowl of buns and set them down and let her pour the gravy on his plate.

Gabriel had two down before he even grabbed a plate and with a full mouth he begged her to show Vivian how to make these. Bucky sighed in contentment and didn't even touch the gravy. "I don't know what you did, but great goddess above, you are a genius. Bread, meat...gravy..." Gabriel mumbled on and she almost burst out laughing.

Rudy smiled at his daughter and was going to pat her arm, but decided not too. He had always struggled with showing her affection, mainly because she had a hard time with people touching her constantly.

"So, I heard you are doing our cake. How are you going to accomplish over 200 cupcakes and on top of that, making a decorating a cake that is the size of the inn?" Gabriel asked her leaning against the truck and watching her curiously.

Ava sighed and shrugged. "Just trying to help out my cousin in her crisis."

Rudy laughed and Bucky shook his head. "Her crisis has been happening since she got engaged."

"I don't remember having that kind of luck at my wedding." Ava shrugged. She had it pretty easy. "In fact, the whole pack pitched in and made the cake and it was pretty."

Bucky looked away from them, he didn't want to talk about their wedding at that moment, but Gabriel didn't notice his friend. "See, I told her that too and she insisted that this cake had to be perfect. Her dress isn't even half as fancy as she wants that cake."

Ava shrugged and looked at Rudy who seemed to be thinking about something. She found her job done, so she took the paper plates and the bowl of buns and left the container of gravy, smiling when they called their thanks. She was right. It was rewarding.

The moon was ripe and full and Ava's blood sang the song of the moon and her spine wiggled as she made her way to the trees. She was going to run long and hard tonight. Tomorrow she started on the large amount of cupcakes. Thank the moon for the industrial freezers the inn had to keep all the food for the pack and inn guests.

Others were also going into the trees like she did, either on their own or pairs and groups. She was thinking about running with her father but then something inside told her that she just wanted to be alone.

She began to peel off her clothes and the air on her skin made little bumps appear and her breasts perk up. She giggled slightly when she took off in demi form, letting her laugh turn into a howl. Some returned it with their own howls of happiness.

She could hear others running around her and away. Some of them laughed and ran next to her momentarily until they made their own paths. Ava had always been fast; one of the fastest even. She used to race the Five and Vivian and always left them in the dust. She was so small that her legs easily carried her.

Finally she stopped and let her fur come over her body and her muzzle replace her mouth. Oh the sweet night, how she howled and longed for it. She took off again, becoming a blurr in the darkness.

This is what she wanted, to run and be free and do what she wanted, not what others wanted for her. She didn't want to leave Rudy's home, she didn't want to leave West Virginia, she didn't want to be a child bride, but she had. No, she was a strong creature, she could live where she liked, mate who she wanted and howl at the moon when she wanted.

A black form pasted by her and she skidded to a stop, surprised by the thunderous sounds of their paws. She recognized the scent and put her head down in a passive manor.

Bucky paced to her and walked around her, a playful growl in his throat. He bumped her and she stepped a few paces away from him. He smirked and then looked ahead before looking at her again. He wanted to race her.

She huffed and walked ahead of him, ignoring his playful pushes and nips. She dared him to bite her so she could turn and snap at him, but she knew she would lose that fight. Finally he blocked her path and stood right in front of her, not letting her go left or right. He wasn't going to give up. Technically he was still her husband since he didn't sign those papers, but that didn't mean he had to annoy her.

Finally she whined and he tilted his head. She didn't want to play games, she just wanted to run and enjoy the sounds and smells of the crisp night. He let out a long breath and stepped a side, obviously disappointed that she wasn't responding to him. She slowly walked past him and almost growled when he began to walk with her. Maybe he didn't want to run alone tonight.

After a while she got tired of walking in her fur and she shifted into the human girl. He wasn't leaving any time soon and even if she ran he would find a way to bump into her. The leaves and moss under feet felt like a soft, damp carpet and she smiled when she heard the sound of water.

"Hey, are you going to keep acting like a brat or are we ever going to talk?" Bucky jogged up next to her and she found her blood rushing to her face. What a lovely body he has.

She shrugged and kept walking, ducking under a tree limb that hung low. "I have nothing to talk about really."

"Well," He sighed. "I should apologize for last night. I mean, your right, if I cared like that I wouldn't have slept with those other women."

She felt the swift pang in her heart. He only confirmed what she already knew, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt any less. "I left you." She said monotonously. "I didn't expect you to wait around for me...or to not sign the divorce papers." She added with slight annoyance.

"And I won't." He stopped in front of her and she came to close from bumping into his bare chest. "The thing you don't get is that I won't quit hoping you'll come home and we can work things out. I know you left for your mom and I understood, but I have no idea, in any part of my brain, why you would want to divorce me. I have no answers." His face was laced with the hurt that was clear in his voice. "No one has the right answers about anything and what is worse is you won't tell any one. I know why you left, that's why I don't think you abandoned your pack. But why, baby, why? Was I not a good husband?" He took her by the shoulders and rubbed his thumbs over her flesh.

She looked away. She couldn't look him in the eyes when she knew that the pain and heart break in them was because of her. "No, you were wonderful." She whispered. Nothing she said would help his case and she silently wondered if he was better off not knowing why she wanted to divorce so bad.

She was right, it only made it worse. She saw him sag and clench his jaw and his eyes shut. She wanted to console him, but what could she say? "Then, why?" He said in a low tone, his hands dropping from her arms and she could feel herself grasping at those hands.

"I didn't get married because I wanted to, I got married because my mother told me too." She whispered.

His eyes opened and he stared right at her. That was news to him apparently. She felt herself backing away when he began to look angry. "So it was all a lie? It was all for mommy?"

"No, but yes...I mean I don't know..." She shook her head. "I mean you are the only man I have ever loved, but I didn't do it for the right reasons. I just, I just...I don't know." She ran a hand down her other arm, feeling like he was going to kill her with words.

"You don't know?" He laughed and shook his head. "Good, I am glad that I was just a stage in your life, not some one you really wanted to live the rest of your life with." He was going to walk away from her and she hated when he did that.

"I do!" She covered her mouth quickly and shook her head. "But on my own terms." She wasn't even sure if she was the one who said those words. Her voice didn't sound like her's.

Bucky threw up his hands and walk back towards her and flung his arms out. "Are you going to tell me what those are or am I going to have to figure out why my wife doesn't, but does want to be with me?"

She began to get angry and felt her claws grow slightly. He wanted to know, she told him, but what else could she tell him? "I told you what you wanted to hear, you don't have to be a total ass about it. Look I don't know and now isn't the time to talk about it. I just lost my mom and every one wants me to come back to a pack that I am pretty sure doesn't give two shits about me. I'm sorry, ok? But I was 16 and that was young! I missed my whole high school career and I didn't have friends." She pushed past him and continued on. "Just leave me alone, I don't want to fight."

She heard him follow her and by the sounds of it, he was angry. "No, I won't leave you alone. I want to settle this right here and now." He grabbed her arm and she turned, only to have his lips descend on hers in a very hungry kiss.

She was frozen, and scared. She couldn't feel her body and she knew that pushing him would only make her upset too. She wanted to kiss him. His tongue prodded her lips to open and she obeyed with a small moan. What was she doing? This wasn't going to help him. But she lost control of her body and found her self holding him close to her. She gasped when he left her and the heat of his body disappeared.

He stood there, like a wild man, panting and looking at her with lusty eyes. He smelled like he was ready for her, but she knew that he wouldn't ask or push it. Finally regained his composer. "So what was that?"

She touched her lips and she could taste blood, who's though, she didn't know. She hadn't been kissed in years or touched and her body ached with desire for him. But her heart...she knew it wasn't right. She'd leave the day after the wedding and be gone again, trying to forget his sad eyes and hopeless pleas for her to stay with him. "I don't know any more."

He turned from her and she could see the tremble in his body. He was trying to hold in his anguish and Ava wanted to comfort him. "I guess then it really is over." He said, as if it was a curse and he began to walk back the way they just came. Ava watched him leave and then when he was out of sight, she threw her self on the ground and tore at it.

"Damn it!" She cried, flinging rocks and dirt every where. "Why do I not know? Why am a failure? I am cursed! Cursed!" With the last word she fell onto the moss and let the sobs ruin her body.

She wanted to go home. But there was no home to go to.

Yes, she loves him. An inner war is the worst one.

Drop a review and tell me how it was!

Thanks.