Chapter 1

The bell rang out over the grounds of the elementary school and the noise level of all the chatty students faltered for a brief second and then regained it's full volume. The kids slowly filed into the building and entered their different classrooms, chatting until the second bell rang. The classroom of 5th graders were excited, today was the free time they had earned for all scoring high grades on the fraction test. The teacher entered the room and called the kids to attention.

"Before I give you the free time you all deserve so much for getting such great grades on our math test, we need to go over the impact of WWI on America." A collective groan throughout the room. The teacher, Elizabeta Héderváry, had only been teaching for less than a year, and she was still learning the tricks of teaching. Her aids, Roderich Edelstein and Arthur Kirkland, were there to be re-educated on being around kids. Roderich had demanded a group of toddlers lay on top of one another and then sat on them and Arthur had been yelling profanity at an eight-year-old who had hit him with a snowball. All in all they were really bad with kids. There were only about 15 kids, but for the three it was a handful, especially with so many...troublesome students.

The movie on WWI was over and the kids were enjoying the rest of the day. Five of the kids were playing Monopoly on a table. Gilbert, Alfred, Feliciano, Lovino, and Kiku were all having fun, even if the younger Italian didn't really get it.
"DUDES! Not again! How does the cowboy get sent to jail six times!?" Alfred pounded his fist on the table, making the board jump.
"Why is being sent to jail a bad thing? You can spread happiness to the mice that are there." Feliciano asked. No one bothered to answer the question.
"My turn." Gilbert said, reaching for the dice.
"It is not your turn you bastard, it's mine damn it." Lovino snatched the cubes before the Prussian could grab them. He rolled a three and a six and moved his cannon around to New York Avenue.
"That's six-hundred. I have three awesome houses so give the money to the awesome Gilbert! I'm dominating this game! There's no way you losers are gonna win, I'm too awesome! " Gilbert yelled. Alfred had had enough, he stood up and flipped the table over, sending the game pieces everywhere.

"I quit, you're such a jerk!" he yelled and stormed out of the room into the hall. Across the room Hungary signaled to Arthur that he should take care of telling the American off. Meanwhile, Lovino was whispering to Feliciano.

"Hey, those houses look like candy, you should eat them." He told the...slow child.

"Okay big brother!" He said grabbing a handful of the little green houses and stuffing them in his mouth.

"Shit! Not really!" the elder yelled as Feliciano started choking. Elizabeta came over to lecture the dark-haired boy on language, but when she came over she saw the choking boy and started talking in a very high-pitched, fast, loud voice.

"OH MY GOSH! FELICIANO! What do I do? Ohmygosh, who do I call? Police? Firemen? Ambulance? 911? Poison Control? House insurance!?"

"GhostBusters!" Alfred was back, with the principal. The man, named Ludwig, raced over to the poor kid on the floor.

"What happened!?" he asked, giving Feliciano the heimlich maneuver while Arthur approached to see if there was anything he could do and Roderich started to calm Elizabeta down.

Once all the "candy" had been coughed up and the teacher had calmed down the principal asked Roderich to grab some real candy for the traumatized kids. Kiku spoke up when he asked what had happened.

"Alfred-san tipped over the table and Veneziano-kun started eating the houses." he said.

"You dummkopf. What were you thinking?" He asked the italian who had quickly recovered and set about playing with the Iron Cross around the German's neck.

"They looked like candy. What is this necklace?" He asked.

"A family heirloom." The principal smiled. "But I'll save the story for later, I have to go back to my office. I only came out here to stop the complaints of bad language and yelling. The other teachers were getting anxious."

"Ok, bye bye Ludwig!" The young Italian gave the principal a hug. Though he was generally strict and well-mannered, the German had a soft spot for the little kid. He would never admit it, but he wouldn't let any other kid hug him either.

After the principal left Elizabeta noticed Roderich had been gone for a long time and convinced Arthur to supervise a game of Four Corners. She made her way down the hall to the school kitchen and opened the door, looking around. What she saw would be one of the weirdest moments in her teaching career; Her aid sitting on the counter, eating a bar of soap. They stared at each other for a few moments until the Austrian tossed a bag of snickers bars to the stunned woman and resumed eating his bar of Irish Spring. When Elizabeta continued to stare at him he pulled another two bars from his pocket and held them up, offering them to the Hungarian. She briskly shook her head.

"Sorry, no Dove. I know it's the best, but I ran out a few days ago and all I have is Neutrogena and Irish Spring." The man said, adjusting his glasses and taking a bite out of a fresh bar, returning the Neutrogena one to his pocket. That explains the soap with a bite taken out of it left in the bathroom after the interview, she thought. Leaving the man to his soap, Elizabeta returned to the classroom only to see most of the kids cowering in front of a menacing looking Brit, except Gilbert who looked entertained, and Alfred who looked defiant. She asked Arthur to talk to her in the hallway and closed the door behind them.

"What happened this time?" she asked.
"That stupid American made fun of my eyebrows. I may or may not have threatened his life." He scowled. "What happened to that dumb Austrian anyways?"
"He's eating soap in the kitchen, but that's besides the point. I know you are proud and all that-"
"Tch."
"-but you can't threaten kids. You scared the crap out of the others, didn't you see the Vargas brothers hiding behind the coat rack?"
"I wasn't threatening them. Only that idiot Alfred. He knocked over the Prussian one and stole the kid's bird. Why does he have that anyways? Aren't pet birds usually banned from schools?"
"Igen, but he graffitied pictures of "Gilbird" all over everything until he was allowed to bring him to school. The bird just sits quietly on his head so I don't see the harm."
"Mmm. Alright...Wait, what did you say about soap?"
"Nothing. Just go calm down and get a cup of tea or something. Please be back in fifteen minutes."
"I'll do that. Thank you."