Hermione Malfoy, Chapter Nine
A/N: Due to…well, my own convenience, I'm going to try to finish this story up in like three chapters or something. Eh, we'll see, though.
Hermione Malfoy, Chapter 9
A/N: I am going to up this story to an R rating starting next chapter just so I don't have to be concerned about anal people. Just to warn you kids.
A/N, the Sequel: I am not going to be updating this story much. But I'll finish it eventually, fear not.
To say the announcement had a sobering affect on Draco would be like saying Avada Kedevra'd had a calming affect on Voldemort.
Hermione wasn't quite sure what to do about his reaction or if she even wanted to venture down that road. He hadn't even tried to make nice to her, not that she was used to Draco ever being nice to her, but after they practically shagged in the hallway, he could at least have the decency to try talking to her.
Men.
The day began ordinarily enough for Hermione, minor exceptions being the massive hangover, sharing the bathroom with her mother-in-law and dealing with her surly husband.
Not that he wasn't always surly. He just hadn't always been her husband.
Hermione made a face. Husband. That made her feel really old. Like…30.
"How's your head, dear?" Narcissa smiled.
"It's been better," Hermione grimaced, "Do I recall you saying you'll be teaching our Defense Against the Dark Arts class?"
"That's right," Narcissa nodded, "There's nothing for me at home anymore."
Losing those sadistic, murdering husbands could be a real kick to the domestic life, Hermione supposed.
"Well, we have that class first, so we'll be seeing you soon. Do you need help moving into your new room?" Hermione asked hopefully, "Draco and I have an hour free after lunch, isn't that right, sweetheart?"
***
"Actually, I'm not really hungry, mother, if you'd rather I take your things now?" Draco suggested immediately.
Free time to move his mother out of their space?
He had that right now.
Narcissa chuckled, "Don't think I'm not aware what you kids are up to!"
Hermione went scarlet and Draco would have kissed Goyle to find out what she was thinking.
Hopefully it involved some type of nudity or the sacrifice just wouldn't be worth it.
"Don't let us stop you from leaving, Mother," Draco smirked, pulling Hermione to his side and kissing her neck.
"Draco!" she hissed.
He nibbled her ear.
"Problem, love?"
"Nothing a hex wouldn't fix," she smiled sweetly.
"See you in class then?" he backed hesitantly away from his bride. Given, as she was, to fits of violence.
"Well, I'll see you BOTH in class!" Draco's mother grinned widely.
Draco and Hermione eyed each other nervously as Narcissa bounced from the room.
"Well…she gets her own room, right?" Hermione smiled hesitantly.
"Yeah…that makes the situation just perfect. Thanks."
***
"What's your problem, Malfoy? Sleep on the couch last night?" a male Blaise smirked in the direction of his fellow Slytherin.
The last thing he needed was to watch Hermione with her friends that morning, so he'd sat in his traditional place, but he couldn't help the permanent scowl on his face at Hermione's obvious comfort without him.
At least it distracted him from the coming class.
"You'd never have to sleep on the couch with me, Draco," Pansy winked at him.
"Pansy, I'm eating," Draco made a face.
"Speaking of strange sexual habits," Blaise smirked, "If I'm always attracted to woman, does that make me straight or gay?"
"I think it depends on the day," Crabbe frowned.
"So are you actually attracted to yourself?" Draco smirked.
Zabini rolled his eyes, "We don't all line our walls with mirrors, Malfoy."
"Those are just the ceilings," Draco smirked. "I'd show you on another day, but my wife might have a problem with it."
"Speaking of the lovely mu-"
Draco gave Zabini a sharp look and Blaise swallowed.
"Mu-Mrs. Malfoy," Zabini smiled triumphantly, "Give details, man, how is she?"
"I'm not telling you how my wife rates as a lover."
"Always told us before," Goyle muttered.
"I was with whores before."
Pansy gasped at this insult.
"Get over yourself, Pansy, I never talked about you."
"Why bother?" Zabini smirked, "No new information."
"Sod off, Blaise Zabini, I never shagged you!"
"Let's try to remember why," Zabini rolled his eyes.
Before the Whore and the Hermaphrodite could launch into a detailed account of why they had never shagged, Draco quickly spit out his news.
"So my mother's the new Professor."
The Slytherins stared at him.
"Yeah, that's what I thought too."
***
"Mmm…Blaise is looking good," Ginny winked at Hermione, "I might have to try out this Slytherin thing."
"I'm not hearing this for so many reasons," Ron plugged his ears and started humming loudly.
Ginny smirked.
Harry was looking between Ginny and Hermione with horror and Hermione decided to mess with him.
"Go for it, Slytherins are great in bed," she encouraged Ginny.
Potter joined his friend in humming and began slapping his head repeatedly, shaking it back and forth violently.
"Oh, I can tell that," Ginny smiled.
"He does spend fifty percent of his time as a woman, though," Hermione reminded Ginny needlessly.
She shrugged, "No one's perfect."
Hermione chuckled, "We could double date."
"How IS the dating scene after marriage?" Ginny raised an eyebrow.
Ron took his fingers out of his ears hesitantly and Hermione smiled.
"We never really leave the bed."
Ron grimaced as his fingers forcefully re-entered his ears.
Ginny smirked, "Now give me the real answer."
"Haven't been out in ages, unless you count drinking with his mom last night," Hermione rolled her eyes.
"I forgot about his mom, that's so priceless."
"She's sticking around," Hermione made a face.
"I thought they were only letting her visit a couple days…?"
"Sure, until she decided to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts."
Ginny spit her coffee. "Bloody hell…I'd pay to see this."
"I don't think Draco's taking it…well."
"How long does it take to whip up that Polyjuice Potion?" Ginny smirked, "I have to be there."
"Sorry, Gin, we have it first."
"Bloody hell, Hermione, why do you get to have all the fun?"
***
Draco made a mental note to discuss class time with Hermione.
The way she always sat with the Gryffindor freaks was annoying.
They had to present a united front or this whole plan would crash and burn.
Not that there weren't a few fond moments to remember her by.
"What could you possibly be happy about?" Blaise muttered.
"I'm a newlywed, Zabini."
"Please, Malfoy, your mom's staying with you."
"Silencing charms, git, welcome to the wizarding world."
"If you're getting so much action, why does the bride never look your way?"
Draco shrugged off his annoyance with that very thing. "You want Gra-Hermione to let herself be distracted in class?" He shook his head sympathetically at the poor, dull witted Blaise.
"You expect me to believe that-"
"Watch," Draco smirked, turning toward his Gryffindor bride.
Her eyes flickered toward his as she leaned over Harry to flick Ron's ear.
Draco ran his tongue along his lips slowly and winked at her.
***
Hermione froze at Draco's boldness, his tongue tracing his lips with exquisite slowness.
Harry turned toward her in confusion and she slipped, landing in Harry's lap and rolling down his legs to the other side of the table.
The Gryffindors gaped at her in horror as she landed at the feet of their new professor.
"Hermione," Professor Malfoy frowned in confusion, "Why aren't you in your seat?"
Draco snorted and Narcissa sent him a chastising glance.
"Draco, dear, do behave."
"Sorry, ma'am," Hermione muttered, glaring at Draco as she slipped back into her seat.
"Yes, well…hello class, I'm your new teacher for Defense Against the Dark Arts, Professor Malfoy. Before we begin, do any of you have any questions for me?"
Contrary to every other class at Hogwarts, every hand in class shot up except Hermione's.
Even Draco had his hand in the air, though it soon became clear it was there merely to pull Zabini's hand down rather than out of any desire to ask questions.
"Well, gracious…umm…Mr. Potter, is it? I suppose I can start with you."
"What kind of history do you have in Defense Against the Dark Arts?" Harry asked, clearly doubting the widow of the most notorious death eater knew anything useful on the subject.
"I spent a great deal of time around dark wizards, young man, one can never be too prepared, you know."
"Have you ever been a teacher before?" Pansy asked slyly.
"I have not, Ms. Parkinson, but I'm sure you'll help me out wherever possible so I can tell your mother how well you're doing when we get together Sundays. Isn't that so?"
Pansy nodded enthusiastically, gulping.
"Well, I'll just tell a bit about myself, then if that is what all your questions are about. Draco, dear, be a love and shut the curtains for Mommy? The light's getting in my eyes."
***
Clenching his teeth, Draco waved his wand toward the window.
"Thank you, sweetheart. Anyway, I went to Hogwarts myself when I was young. The product of Slytherin, as you might have guessed. I was Head Girl, like my daughter in law now," she nodded approvingly.
Goyle raised his hand hesitantly, "When did you graduate?"
"Trying to figure out my age, Gregory?" Narcissa frowned.
Baffled, Goyle shook his head. Apparently, simple math was beyond his consideration.
"My last year was 1969-"
Blaise snorted. "You were Head Girl in '69?"
The gasp of laughter from the class covered the sharp yelp from Blaise as Draco's wand dug into his ribs.
"Avada-"
"No! I'm sorry," Blaise hissed.
Draco chuckled and removed his wand.
"Not hard to believe I was a favorite amongst the gentleman, is it, then, Mr. Zabini?" Professor Malfoy raised her eyebrows.
Breakfast made a return trip up Draco's throat as he fought the images in his mind.
"Is that a consistent theme amongst the Head Girls in your family, Malfoy?" Crabbe asked.
Before Draco could react, the Slytherin against the wall, flailing, and Hermione's wand was drawn.
"My apologies, Professor, my wand slipped," Hermione shrugged.
"Quite all right, Hermione," Narcissa nodded, ignoring the student dangling awkwardly from the wall.
Draco grinned at Hermione, her face easily replacing his mother's in his imagination.
A shoe nailed Potter in the head and Draco turned to gape at the 7th year boy with the terrible aim.
"Pathetic, Crabbe," he muttered.
"10 points from Slytherin for throwing shoes and missing the intended target. That's really quite shocking, Vincent." Narcissa shook her head.
The next shoe bounced off of Weasley and hit Hermione's pen.
Narcissa frowned, "Another ten points off Slytherin for hitting my daughter in law, but five points back on for actually getting it in range this time."
"But, Professor…she stuck him to the wall!" Pansy objected.
"That was an accident, though, Ms. Parkinson," Narcissa shook her head.
His mother was taking points off of Slytherin…because of his wife.
Wonderful. His popularity would just skyrocket.
***
Hermione grinned. This class was better than she'd thought.
15 points off Slytherin and the teacher was on her side, for some reason.
Perhaps if she did shots with Snape, things would change in Potions?
"20 points to Slytherin," Narcissa spoke again, smiling lovingly at a glowering Draco.
"For what?" Ron stammered in confusion.
"For Draco," she smiled, "He was such an adorable baby. Had the most squeezable cheeks."
Stomach dropping, Hermione's eyes slid immediately to her husband's, which stormed with barely repressed anger.
"Hermione reports he still does-OW!" Harry grimaced, grabbing his shin and glaring at Hermione.
"Shut up, you prat," Hermione blushed as the class chuckled.
This situation would never work out. Drinking buddy or not.
***
Mercifully, the class ended without a Q & A on Draco's years growing up and the various embarrassing moments in his life.
"We need to talk," Draco pulled his wife away from her friends.
"About…?" She raised her eyebrows.
"About my mother and the way she's ruining our plans by the second."
Hermione swallowed and looked up at him cautiously, "What did you have in mind?"
"That's why we need to talk."
"You want a plan to get your mother to leave?" Mrs. Malfoy raised her eyebrows, "Something diabolical, twisted and deeply Slytherin?"
Merlin, those words on her tongue were hot.
"Say that again," he muttered.
"Diabolical?" she asked.
"Keep going," he muttered.
"Twisted?" she smirked.
Bloody hell, he could get off on this.
"Deeply…Slytherin?" Hermione raised her eyebrows.
Draco swallowed hard and pulled her roughly against him. Their lips met feverishly as he slammed her against the wall.
TBC