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I'm not making any efforts to end this story. Simply put, I will continue with my irregular updates indefinitely and see where the story goes.
Hermione Malfoy, Chapter 11
They were here, Draco grimaced, opening the door.
He greeted two scowling Gryffindors.
"Pothead, it's been too long, I thought you didn't like me anymore."
"I will never like you, Malfoy."
Draco sighed, "Granger said the same thing, once upon a time. But alas, your time for that sort of attention is over, I'm a married man."
"Sod off, Malfoy, we're here for Hermione," Weasley scowled at him.
"Ahh yes, of course," he stepped aside for them to enter. "My love, Potter and his boyfriend have arrived," he shouted to Hermione. "She'll just be a second."
Ginny slipped in after them, looking extremely good, Draco noticed.
"Ms. Weasley, looking lovely, as always."
"Hey Malfoy," she grinned, "How was the broom closet this morning?"
"Ginny!" Harry interrupted her.
"What? Malfoy doesn't care if people know he's going at it in the closet…I mean, he might not like them knowing he was alone…"
Draco's eyebrows shot up.
"Ginny, I swear, if you ever loved me," Harry begged.
Ginny glowered. "You can't keep using that, it was first year!"
"Room full of Gryffindors and Malfoy," said a voice from the door, "And to think I almost sent you and owl telling you to sod off."
"You could always go, Zabini," Draco shrugged, "Don't you have important things to do? Like strip down and look in the mirror? Actually, I could grab a mirror…"
"Sod off, Malfoy," the brunette smiled, her eyes flickering appreciatively to the lovely redhead and then back to Draco in amusement, "If this is how you are trying to inspire inter-house relations, consider me inspired."
Ginny grinned and stretched out her hand, "Virginia Weasley, pleasure to meet you properly."
"Blaise Zabini. And the pleasure's all mine."
***
To be completely fair, it was physically possible for Ronald Weasley to be a bigger wanker than he already was.
He just lacked the Slytherin cunning and ambition to really take that last step.
Draco snickered to himself as he observed his redheaded nemesis, drooling from afar at the fair Blaise, hermaphrodite extraordinaire.
"Merlin, Weasley, she's a lesbian that wants your sister. Stop drooling on our rug and let us get down to business."
"Draco!" Hermione jabbed him.
Blaise and Ginny ceased their flirting, much to his disappointment, and glanced rather uncomfortably at Ron, who was turning back to his natural color.
"So I wrecked the mood," Draco glared at his wife, rubbing his sore ribs, "They'll get back into it when he stops staring. Isn't that right?" Malfoy raised an eyebrow at Blaise.
"You're such a git, Malfoy," Potter glared at him.
"I'm sorry, did you say something? I was momentarily distracted by your hair."
"Shut up, Malfoy," Ron's hand hovered over his wand.
"It is so cute when you stand up for your boyfriend's honor," Draco sniffed, "I'm moved. Truly."
"Draco…" Hermione glared at him and their eyes met.
Her message was very clear.
He had two options.
Number One: He could continue to rip on her friends and give up any miniscule shot he had at finally shagging the hell out of her.
Number Two: He could be the bigger man, apologize for his rudeness and maybe get into her knickers within the hour.
Either option went against everything he believed in.
"Shall we begin, then?" he looked around the room. "If everyone could take a seat, Hermione and I would like to discuss a matter of great importance."
Grumbling, everyone made their way to different seats.
"You've all been chosen for your loyalty to either Hermione or myself."
Pansy straightened with pride, beaming.
"Parkinson, he's not talking about some blow job from fourth year, get over it," Zabini muttered.
The two girls glared at each other.
"If any one of you is unable to promise that nothing said within these walls will be repeated, you may leave now," Draco looked around the room, meeting every eye. "Those in Slytherin understand the consequences of crossing me. If you're in Gryffindor, it would be even worse for you," he smiled. "Not only are you betraying my wife's trust, but I just don't like you in the first place. Don't give me the opportunity."
Harry frowned at Hermione, "You're okay with that?"
Hermione shrugged, "As long as he doesn't get caught."
The Gryffindors mouths dropped and Draco had to stop himself from crowing with glee.
Fabulous.
"On with business. Hermione, my love, would you like to start?"
***
They'd thought it best that Hermione outline the plan for everyone as the Gryffindors were the least likely to go for it.
They had "morals, ethics and that sort of rot" as Draco put it.
What a terrible influence that beautiful man was.
"I want you to be aware before we begin that there is a chance that being part of this could get you expelled."
Harry's eyebrows raised, "Hermione, are you sure you want to risk it?"
"You must be joking, Potter, does it really just have to be your ideas that she risks expulsion for?" Draco rolled his eyes.
"Sod off, Malfoy, they're always Hermione's…" Harry trailed off suddenly, but Draco caught on.
"Always Hermione's ideas," he smirked. "Of course. Do you honestly think anyone would believe The Boy Who Lucked Out and the Poor Man's Pureblood could come up with any kind of intelligent plan?"
Hermione frowned. Her husband was ripping on her friends. Again. But in such a way that it emphasized her own intelligence…hmmm.
"Hermione, are you really going to let him talk to us like this?" Ron crossed his arms defiantly.
"Sod off, Weasley. You're poor. Hermione already knows you're idiots, she's the one that's had to put up with you."
Despite her tendency to agree with Draco's assessment, it wasn't nice of him to draw attention to Ron's financial state.
"Ron's finances, or lack thereof have no bearing on his intelligence, Draco," she muttered disapprovingly.
His eyes gleamed at her statement. "I know that, love. It's just an amusing coincidence."
Ginny rolled her eyes at the fight and turned her attention to Blaise.
Ron sputtered. Harry fumed.
Hermione took advantage of the relative silence to proceed.
"Due to the increased difficulties in both Slytherin and Gryffindor due to a certain new teacher that we all know…Draco and I have decided it be best if Professor Malfoy were to retire."
Harry whistled.
"You're taking out your own mother now, Malfoy?" Weasley asked, "Isn't that a new level of sick?"
Draco looked offended. "Don't be such a prat, Weasley. ….this is nothing."
"We've gathered you here for a brainstorming session. We would like this teacher out of the way. If anyone doesn't wish to participate, they can feel free to leave. Just be aware that anything you repeat about this meeting will be taken into account when it gets back to us. Also keep in mind that it is impossible to just get one of us in trouble…" Hermione frowned, "Where did Ginny and Blaise go?"
"Off snogging in your room, " Draco shrugged.
"But we were having a meeting!"
***
"Won't they miss us?" Ginny smirked as Blaise pulled her into her best friend's room.
"With all that fighting? They won't notice til we get back, if then."
"So what will we do here, then?" Ginny asked, leaning back on Hermione's bed.
Blaise crawled next to her, running her eyes along the younger girls slender body. "I just thought we could talk," Zabini smiled, stretching out on her side and smiling. Her green eyes sparkled and Ginny swallowed.
"What's it like to switch from gender to gender?"
"Kind of strange if you have to pee," Blaise shrugged.
"Is it true you're only attracted to girls?" Ginny raised an eyebrow.
"Absolutely."
"You know, you're beautiful as both," Ginny murmured, meeting Blaise's eye for a moment before looking away.
Blaise played with a strand of Ginny's vibrant red hair. "Well, I'm glad you're ended up a girl…cause no offense, but your brother does nothing for me."
Ginny laughed, "Thank Merlin."
"Ginny!" the door burst open and Hermione stalked into her room, "We're trying to having a meeting!"
The girls sprang from the bed and Ginny slipped into Hermione's desk. "We were just, umm…looking at your notes," she smiled innocently as Hermione rolled her eyes. "Right?" she turned to Blaise.
"Absolutely," the brunette smiled, looking over her shoulder to join in the 'study.'
"See?" Ginny smirked at her friend.
"But you're missing everything I've been saying in the-"
Blaise gasped next to Ginny and the redhead turned abruptly, following the beauty's gaze to the parchment on Hermione's desk.
"Pros and cons of SHAGGING MALFOY?" Ginny laughed, "I can't believe you made a list, how old is this?" she started reading.
The color drained from Hermione's face. "Give me that. It's private."
"Not a chance, Granger," Blaise picked up the parchment and backed away from the Head Girl.
"[Insert whatever the fuck spell knocks someone down]," Hermione sent Blaise flying and Ginny gasped, grabbing the parchment before Hermione could retrieve it.
"What the bloody hell are you trying to do, Hermione? It was just a joke…" her voice trailed off as she looked down at the parchment and she looked back up again, "It's not real?"
Hermione sighed and shook her head.
"But you were all over each-" Ginny trailed off and a slow smile spread over her face. "Come on, Blaise, are you all right?" she offered a hand up to the other girl and then carefully inspected to make sure she was all right.
"Zabini, I'm sorry," Hermione muttered.
Blaise waved it off as Ginny continued to tenderly search for injuries. "Benefits far outweigh the pain, don't worry about it."
Ginny rolled her eyes and backed off.
The Slytherin scowled.
***
"Welcome back, my dear," Draco nodded to Hermione as she returned with the escapees. "To sum up what you just missed: Parkinson thinks we should kill her. Potter things we should maybe just talk to her and ask her not to be so herself in front of people."
Goyle raised a hesitant hand.
"Yes?"
"Why can't we kill her?"
Draco cleared his throat, "She's my mother, fuckwit."
"Then why can't you talk to her?" Weasley frowned.
Malfoy cleared his throat harder, "She's my MOTHER, fuckwit."
"I'm sure we can find a happy medium," Hermione squeezed Draco's hand reassuringly.
He clamped onto her and interlaced their fingers, running his thumb lightly over her wrist.
Her eyes flew to his and she shivered delicately.
Draco was beginning to think Ginny and Blaise had the right idea…just slip away and do unmentionable things to each other…
Well, unmentionable in the 50s.
Now there were any number of ways to put it: Shag, fuck, bone…
"Shut up," Hermione interrupted his thoughts.
How could she possibly…?
"But Hermione-" Ron whined.
Ahhhh, she was talking to Weasley. That made a lot more sense.
Draco almost made the mistake of asking what Weasley said, but caught himself just in time.
"So any more genius ideas?" he asked instead.
"Do you want her to quit or be fired?" Potter asked.
"Quit…or be fired in such a way that she could claim to have quit."
"So we couldn't claim she performed an unforgivable," Pansy frowned.
"I'd rather the rest of my family stayed out of Azkaban, thanks, Parkinson."
"Oh!" Pansy smiled, "What if she had a relationship with a student?"
Draco blanched.
"Who?" Ron wanted to know.
"Not you," Pansy glared at him and looked around, "Malfoy's the hottest…"
"Don't even THINK of continuing that sentence, Parkinson," Draco hissed, muttering a spell under his breath.
"In case no one picked up on my subtle message before," he pointed out the new sign, with large, bold lettering:
She's my mother, fuckwit.
"Now," he crossed his arms, "I will hex the next person who doesn't keep this in mind."
"Hey, I'll take one for the team," Blaise shrugged.
Draco met Blaise's eyes and she stopped, her gaze flickering nervously at the sign. "Kidding, Malfoy."
***
Hermione cleared her throat as Draco muttered something or other about Zabini being lucky it was a girl day.
"Clearly, we'll need some time to think about this, come to us with any ideas you have and we'll be able to form a plan to suit everyone."
"Does anyone need to take the sign with them?" Draco raised an eyebrow.
"No, but we're taking Hermione with us," Ginny looked at Hermione meaningfully and pulled her out the door with Blaise.
"Whoa!" Draco grabbed hold of Hermione's arm, "Not a chance."
Ginny tugged her friend the other way. "Let go, Malfoy, we're having a girls night."
Draco paused. "What kind of girls night?"
Ginny dug her heels into the floor and Hermione grimaced.
"The kind with pictures?" Blaise suggested.
Ginny toppled.
TBC