"In five, four, three, two, one. Hey, guys, I am here at the very first Warped Tour venue, with... Aw, who are you guys again?" Bryan Stars asked me and Sierra. It was the first day of Warped and we were sitting on the couch in some random room, with Bryan on one side of the couch, Sierra sitting on the arm beside me. We laughed a little bit, but I didn't laugh much. I was still seriously hurting. It had been about a month since the Incident, as we had started referring to it.
"I'm Sierra Kusterbeck of VersaEmerge and that's Tidal of My Pain Of Heart." Sierra said, nodding her head towards me as I nodded in confirmation.
"Okay, so, Tidal. Everybody knows that you've developed this image. In past weeks, you have been compared to Porcelain Black and Taylor Momsen. How do you react to those comparisons?" That surprised me quite a bit.
"People have been comparing me to Porcelain Black? Why?" I asked, a little bit surprised. I mean, I loved her and all, but she was, in a nutshell, the girl version of Marilyn Manson.
"Well, you've been really different. Ever since you and Andy Biersack broke up, you've been acting like them. You've been writing similar songs, and you've even started dressing like them a little bit." He said, gesturing to my outfit with his questions. "And, you've gotten more tattoos and your lip pierced. Some say you're acting out."
"Well, I don't mean to be 'acting out'. I actually thought that I was dressing more like Sierra and I could get my lip pierced if I wanted and every tattoo that I have carries a message." I had gotten my lip pierced in the middle of my lip with a barbell type thing with the things at the end zebra striped. I was wearing a Motley Crue t-shirt, blue jean shorts with lightning bolts on them, little paper clip type earrings, a necklace with a skeleton woman cameo on it, black and blue bangles, double fingered rings that said ROCK and ROLL, and a little black ring with a huge little rhinestone thing in the middle.
"Well, can you explain your tattoos to us?" Bryan asked.
"Sure. Well, this tattoo is a bunch of hearts with music notes around them is the first tattoo I got with my jerk ex-boyfriend. This tattoo is from the Guns N' Roses song, November Rain. It says 'Nothing lasts forever and we both know hearts can change. It's hard to hold a candle in the cold November rain.' It's really meaningful to me. This tattoo says 'What do you do if the one who broke your heart is the only one who can fix it?', which is how I kinda feel right now. And, then, this one is a lyric from our song, Make Me Wanna Die. It says, 'Every time I look inside your eyes, you make me wanna die.' They're just really meaningful to me." I explained, pointing them out.
"Speaking of your jerk ex-boyfriend, everybody wants to know why you guys broke up. It was really sudden." Bryan said, causing me to stop smiling the little smile I was smiling instantly.
"I really can't talk about this right now. Maybe when I'm over it a little more. But, not right now." I said, looking down at my hands.
"Okay, I'm sure that all of your fans will understand." Bryan said, looking down at his questions. "Okay,-" He was interrupted by the door opening. Jerk walked in.
"Oh, wrong room. I'm sorry. Oh, Tidal. After the interview, can I please talk to you?" He asked pleadingly.
"No, go away." I said, crossing my arms childishly.
"Please, I just want five minutes!" He said stubbornly.
"No! Go away! You are not wanted here!" I said, my voice rising. He was about to say something else, but closed the door when I took my boot off and made to throw it at him.
"Are you okay?" Bryan asked. I could feel the tears welling in my eyes and shook my head, covering my mouth with my hand.
"I'm acting like I'm okay. Please don't interrupt my performance." The rest of the half hour interview went by in a blur.
When Sierra and I walked out of the small room, we saw him leaning against the wall beside the door. I ignored him and just kept walking.
"Please, at least tell me what I did!" He demanded, following us.
"You know perfectly well what you did! Leave me alone!" I could feel the tears welling again, but I restrained them.
"Have you heard three of our new songs? Rebel Love Song, Love Isn't Always Fair, and Die For You?" He asked, keeping up with us easily.
"No, I haven't. Why don't you do me a favor and go and die, since that's what your song says?" I asked, trying to keep my cool as a look of hurt flashed on his face.
"What did I do?" He asked, grabbing my arm and stopping me. Sierra stopped with us just as a security guard walked past.
"Hey, security guy. This guy has been harassing me. Can you get him away from me, please?" I asked him.
"Sorry, sir, but you're going to have to leave her alone." He said in a really deep voice. He was taller than Andy by at least five inches and had at least a hundred pounds of muscle on him. Jerk took one look at me, then left. I thanked the guard and headed back to the bus as Sierra went back to her's. I decided to make a Vlog, as nobody else was on the bus. I turned my computer on and started a video.
"Hey, guys. Sierra and I just got finished with our Bryan Stars interview. He asked me about my jerk ex-boyfriend who shall remain nameless. He's a jerk. I'm sorry, guys. I've been trying to stay strong for you all, because I know that when I was younger, I hated to see my favorite artists in pain. But, I'm not going to lie to you anymore. Truth number one; I am in serious pain here. In case you don't know, the guys, Sierra, Scout, and Sammi have been following me around with video cameras without me knowing, and videotaping me when I start crying or something and I don't know that they're filming. They're posting these on their YouTube channels and I'm trying to get them to take them down, but they won't. And, to make matters worse, Jerk won't leave me alone. I have about eighty-seven unread text messages from him, forty-two missed calls, twenty-six voice-mails, and he stopped by my apartment in LA fifteen times. We just had a confrontation and I had to get security to get him to leave me alone. It's been awful." I brushed some tears out of my eyes. Just then, the door burst open and Andy walked in.
"We need to talk and I am not going to leave you alone until we do!" Andy exclaimed, walking over and pausing my video. I stood up indignantly and crossed my arms.
"Excuse me! I was in the middle of doing something! Who do you think you are, bursting onto my bus and interrupting my Vlog? Huh?" I asked, staring him down.
"We need to talk because I do not know what I did!" He said, gripping my arms. I tried to wriggle out of his grip, but he was a lot stronger than me.
"I swear, if you don't let go of me right now, I will scream rapist." I said quietly, trying not to let him know that I was about to cry.
"I don't care! Just talk to me!" He exclaimed. I opened my mouth, ready to scream, but he leaned down and kissed me. Tears started pouring from my eyes, and I almost kissed back, but I restrained. I tried to get out of his grip again, but he held on even tighter, not letting me go, so I just stood there, waiting for him to pull back.
As soon as he did, I punched him in the face. It didn't really do much, but it did leave a big red mark. I stood there, my chest heaving, my face red, and tears streaming down my face.
"Even though that hurt a lot, it was worth it." He said quietly, his voice gruffer than usual.
"Please. I'm trying to get over you. Don't make this harder than it has to be." I begged, wiping the makeup stained tears that were staining my face.
"I don't know what I did. I haven't gotten over you and you haven't gotten over me. Don't you think that means something? Like, maybe we're not supposed to get over each other?" He pleaded quietly.
"It just means that you're a liar and I'm going to get over you. I promised myself that I would." I wiped my face again, trying to stop the flow of tears.
"I'm not going to give up you know." He said just as quietly as this entire conversation had been going.
"Please leave me alone. At least, get off the bus. Please." I said, more like a question.
"I love you. And, I miss you. I just want you to know that." He leaned down and kissed my forehead, then left. I sat down and started the video again.
"Hey, guys. I hope you understand if I don't explain that..." I finished out the video and posted it on YouTube.
I got ice cream and Dr. Pepper, which had become my chosen choice of food. After I sat back down and turned on the TV, I got out my phone and checked Twitter. In recent times, I had stopped following Andy, but I kept on following the other guys, and that most certainly didn't stop him from tweeting me. His most recent tweet, which had been sent to me many times by my newfound haters (Andy's fangirls). I feel like dying right now. How could our relationship be so great, then just go down the drain? /3 It had been posted five minutes before.
"It would be appreciated if you could go and die." I said to myself, watching the mindless sitcom that was inhabiting our TV.
I checked my wall and saw all the tweets asking how I was, why we broke up, and all of the hate comments. Here are the most recent ones.
TidalMPOH You never deserved Andy. He's way too good for you.
TidalMPOH needs to go and die. After all, that's what her song says.
TidalMPOH I don't know how you ever got Andy. You're voice is like nails scratching a chalkboard and you're the ugliest girl I have ever seen.
Aren't his fans great? I decided to send out a Tweet of my own.
Okay, I know you all are concerned about mine and AndyBVB's situation, but it's our business, not your's. And, if you're hating on me, I have a poem for you. Roses are red, violets are blue, I've got five fingers, the middle one is for you. SHUT UP!
Of course, that didn't all fit into one message, but it got mixed replies. One from each of the guys, Scout, Sammi, and Sierra, hate comments, comments appraising it, and one from Andy.
Seriously, guys. We may be broken up, but I still love TidalMPOH, so I would appreciate it if you didn't send that stuff.
AndyBVB Shut up, this is all your fault.
He didn't reply after that. Now, getting off of Twitter, I checked our newest music videos for Make Me Wanna Die and Just Tonight. It had the same stuff that my Twitter did, but by all standards, it was doing pretty well.
I went back to my homepage and saw that Bryan had uploaded a new video entitled 'Andy and Tidal?', so I clicked on it. Bryan showed up and smiled.
"Hey, guys, I just did my My Pain of Heart and VersaEmerge interview and it will be released uncut in a couple of days. I know you guys really wanna see it, so I'm working as fast as I can, but something interesting happened in the interview. Andy Biersack accidentally walked in at the beginning of the interview and he and Tidal got into an argument and when the girls left, I could hear her and Andy fighting down the hall. Now, I love both of their bands, so I'm kinda caught in the middle." He said and took a break to drink some water. I clenched my fist, so I wouldn't cry, as a picture of me and Andy kissing had shown up on the screen.
"I know Tidal is really torn up about this, because she just posted a Vlog about it, explaining her feelings in this and the fact that she just randomly came out with three songs about how much she's in pain. But, based on what I have read in Andy's tweets and the fact that I talked to him today, I honestly think that he doesn't know what he did to make her so angry. There have been rumors that Andy cheated on her, and Andy assured me that he didn't, but based on the fact that Tidal won't tell anybody and Andy doesn't know, nobody can confirm or deny it. However, this one crazy chick posted a video of her saying that on the last concert of Black Veil Brides AP tour, while My Pain Of Heart was performing, she did sleep with Andy. I don't think anybody believes her, because, like I said she's crazy, and Andy and Tidal seemed way too in love before this whole fiasco started. There's a link to both of the videos mentioned in the description, and I think that's it. Let me know what you think? Did Andy cheat on Tidal? Is this chick crazy? Will Tidal reveal the reason why they broke up? Will the rock n' roll power couple get back together? Will I stop asking you so many questions? Bye, leave a comment." He pointed behind him at his poster of Lady Gaga. "Lady Gaga wants you to leave a comment." And, then, the video ended. I did start crying again. The guys walked on the bus.
"Tidal, it's time to go on stage. Do you wanna wash off your makeup before we go on?" Kailee asked sympathetically. I shook my head and followed them out to the stage on which we were performing.
They got all of their instruments together, and we walked on, to be met by raucous applause. We waved to the rather large crowd, trying not to squint from the sun.
"How you guys doing today?" I yelled into the mic. They screamed. "That's awesome. We're doing pretty good as well. For our first Warped show, we're going to start you off with a rather new song. How many of you know Make Me Wanna Die?" And, with that, we played our set, and walked off stage.
The whole time, I had been thinking about Andy, and all of Bryan's questions. They were really good questions, most of which I had been asking since we broke up. I most certainly still loved Andy, that much is true, but I had promised myself that after my last boyfriend, I would never have another boyfriend who cheated on me. However, Andy had been the best boyfriend I had ever had, and I wasn't sure I wanted to give that up. What if Andy really hadn't cheated on me? But, what if he did? If we did get back together and he had cheated on me, what would happen? My life sucks.
A/N: You know what? I just realized something. The chick I picked out to be Tidal looks just like Dahvie Vanity, except for the hair color. O.o Maybe it is Dahvie Vanity. No, I'm just kidding. It isn't Dahvie. But, seriously, they could be siblings.