Chapter 2
From that day, he never forgot to call, he was never late, he was always dressed properly—according to my father—and he never once left me alone. He always kept his hand in mine or he always managed to touch me so I would know he was there, looking out for me. He seemed perfect. Father thought he was and I was truly starting to believe it too. Until that day.
I was sitting on a chair, I didn't know where, Father had just told me to wait there until the prince arrives. It was silent all around me. I was wearing a pretty dress my sister had carefully chosen. I hoped I looked as beautiful as the dress. Well, I didn't know for sure the dress was pretty, but I didn't think my sister would let me go out with an ugly piece of clothing. According to Aro, she had always had great taste for that kind of stuff. I hoped he was right because I didn't want to look like a total mess in front of my husband-to-be. He could still break his promise to me, he could still break the engagement and I wouldn't let that happen. I wished I could see my face in the mirror, but I couldn't. Never had and never will. At least, I couldn't judge people like they did. Maybe that was one positive thing. I heard a door opening. I wanted to get up, but I was stopped. "Don't. Ladies don't get up for men."
I smiled, recognizing the voice. I heard his footsteps getting closer to me and I waited. It stopped and a hand touched my skin. It was a light touch and my smile got bigger. "Hey, I didn't expect you this soon," I said, delightfully surprised.
"Thank you, honey. I will try to remember you don't know how fast time flies. I am a tiny bit late," he added.
"It doesn't when I'm standing alone in here, waiting for you," I told him.
I knew he had smiled. With time, I knew, whether it was because of the way they were breathing or the way they were speechless—or if they were talking way too loud and fast—I knew approximately how people were feeling and how they were reacting. I felt his fingers on my face. I thought he might kiss me but he did not. "Now it is time to go. We are late enough for our first appearance in public," he said.
I suddenly froze and not even the sweet touch of his fingers could unfroze me. "What is it?" he asked. "Don't you want to come? I can carry you, but I don't think our parents would appreciate."
I tried to smile but I was quite sure it didn't convince him I was all right. "Are you afraid?" he asked again. As I stayed silent, he went on. "They don't bite. I swear. If they do, I'll protect you."
He was talking about his folks. "I thought they didn't bite," I replicated, trying to be stronger than my fear. I was about to meet the Queen and the King. What if they didn't approve their son's choice? They could have me killed in a second, I would never see anything come. And I was completely useless to protect the prince! If someone sneaked out into the room or into the castle, I would never ever see that person! My husband could get murdered right next to me, if he didn't scream or move, I would get up, without knowing he had been killed.
He laughed. "They don't, but let's not give them a good reason to."
I got up on my feet. I must looked worried, which I really was. "Why can't you tell me your name?" I murmured as he took me outside.
"Careful, there is a step," he warned me. I didn't bother to do as he said because he lifted me up and sat me on a bench. I heard the horses, so it was probably a carriage. I wondered what the horses looked like and what I looked like in that royal carriage. "Go ahead," he said, probably to the driver because there was no point for him to tell me this. We started moving and he sat beside me. He still hadn't answered my question and I really had to know. What was with all the mystery? Even my own siblings and father wouldn't tell me. But why wouldn't they? The prince seemed to be a good person. I could almost see myself care for him. I didn't understand why they wouldn't tell me. And I didn't get why I didn't know already. I should have known. He was a prince, for Christ's sake! There wasn't that much in the country but I actually didn't know half of them and I couldn't think of one young enough to be the one I was about to marry—and I didn't think any of the ones I knew would have ever agreed to take me as their wife. "Why?" I asked again.
He sighed and I didn't have to repeat my question because he knew exactly what I was talking about. "Your father asked me not to. And besides, my family wanted to keep my identity a secret until we are married, or so."
"Or so?" I repeated. "But my entire family knows who you are!"
I had almost yelled that last sentence. "Don't yell," he calmly said. "There is no point in screaming."
I stayed silent as I tried to calm down. "You will find out soon. I promise," he said. "And when you will, I hope you'll still want to marry me."
I could have just told him I had no other choice, but I didn't. I wondered why he wanted me to ignore who he was. There was no point in this. I couldn't spend the rest of my life with him if I didn't even know his name, could I? I didn't want to. I didn't say a word until we stopped. He helped me get out and escorted me to his house—I guessed. There was noise and I felt there was a lot of people there. There was beautiful music playing and the ambiance didn't sound too … boring. It seemed okay but it sure didn't sound like any celebration I had ever been at … not that I had been at many, actually. Father used to keep me away from this. He said it would annoy me and that he couldn't hold my hand all the time. I had really got the message. I knew what he was trying to say even if he was too much of a coward to say it aloud and to my face. He didn't want me to show up there because he was ashamed of having a blind daughter. He was ashamed to show the world how useless I was and how I would always need someone by my side for the rest of my life.
I put up a smile on my face as I was climbing up the stairs. That was always a rough part because not all the stairs were alike and it was sort of hard not to break my neck on them. Hopefully, it was soon over and I heard the grinding of a door opening. When I walked inside—I supposed I was—, the floor made a resonant sound, making me think the floor was in marble. Then, I heard the sound of another opening door and the smell of food assail me. As soon as the noise stopped, I figured we must have got in. People must have stared at us. I hated being stared at but I was used to it—because I could feel it—so it didn't bother me. What bothered me was that I didn't know with who I was. And I almost felt embarrassed. Had my siblings lied about his beauty—or mine? His status? There was thousands of princes and I couldn't guess to which one I was about to get engaged. They wouldn't give me any clue! Not even the slightest. I didn't even know the color of his eyes or his hair. I knew nothing about him, except his age. We kept on walking and he stopped after a while. "Sit here," he told me.
I did as he said. The noise started again as if someone had pressed a "on" button. I was feeling so stressful and I wasn't even able to speak. He sat beside me and put my left hand on his arm. He didn't move it, but I felt he was moving his other one as he spoke. I didn't open my mouth once. I smelled food but I couldn't do anything. It was important for him, so I didn't want to ruin it by eating like a pig. "She already ate, haven't you, sweetheart?" he suddenly said.
I nodded. "Yes, I have. Sorry. He didn't bother to tell me we were invited for supper as well," I explained.
He laughed and kissed my hand. "It was a surprise for me too." I heard some laughs and it went calm again. I felt his lips to my ear and shivered. "Don't worry. I will make you eat as soon as we get out of here." I nodded again and smiled. I couldn't help but noticed his own words. He said he'd help me. Not that I could do it on my own. Maybe he cared about me.
"So, Didyme, is it?" a feminine voice coming from the person I assumed was in front of me asked. From the sound of her voice and the way she talked, I immediately figured she was the Queen—and my future husband's mother.
"Yes, your Honor," I replied.
She laughed a little. "My son has been telling me a lot about you, it almost feels like I know you."
Another voice was heard before I could answer, "Give her a rest, would you?" It was a male voice, probably the King's voice. It sounded like a compelling voice, like the voice of a sovereign. It was deep and calm but I could feel the severe person hiding behind it. "So, Didyme, tell me, did you siblings force you into this marriage?"
His question took my by surprise. I was pretty sure I was blushing but there was nothing I could do to help it. Instead, I smiled a little, not knowing where to pretend to look. "No, of course not. It's all on my will."
"Of course it is," the Queen's voice said. "Who wouldn't want to get married to a prince?"
I felt the insult like a slap in the face. "It has nothing to do with this," I told her, trying to stay calm as I felt my future husband tensing up in the seat next to me. I could have told her the truth but I didn't want to rub in her face that this proposal would probably be my last one. I didn't have time to choose, I didn't have anyone to choose. I had him and that was it. The choice was quite easy, let me tell you.
"Mother, you leave it, right now," he warned her. And it had nothing to do with the sweet warning, it almost felt like a threat.
"I don't get your choices, son," she replicated. "You could have had anyone. Lucky for you, your sister already took care of the forced marriage, so that leaves you up to choose who you're going to marry. But think about it. Do you really think that marrying that dead weight is going to help you? Do you think it's going to be easy? It'll only get worse and worse." The worst was that she didn't even scream. She was talking calmly and lowly so that no one could really understand. Well, I didn't know if there were people to hear what she had to say because I had felt presence, but no one had talked to me so I didn't know and I didn't want to ask.
I knew what she was talking about. She was talking about my illness, she was talking about me not being able to do everything by myself just like her. I wasn't even angry, I was more sad. I thought that … I thought I was over it, I thought that people would understand and wouldn't try to make me feel like I was nothing. But they didn't stop. None of it would ever stop.
"I don't care about it being easy, Mother," he snapped and I had to turn my head so they wouldn't see that I was about to cry. "I'm not marrying her so she'll be my Queen. If I had wanted it, I would've picked anyone. But Didyme's not anyone and you know it." But I was anyone.
"It's not too late to change your mind," she said.
"I know," he told her. "And I'm not going to change my mind. Not now, not in a year, not in forever."
I heard her sighing. "This is the biggest mistake you'll ever make."
"If it's a mistake—and I doubt it is—I'll learn on my own how to deal with it. I'm old enough to take my own decisions. You have no say in this. I am not even asking for your permission."
"Lily," the King's voice said. Lily. That was probably the Queen's name. What a sweet name for a hard woman. That didn't fit, it wasn't the right choice of name. They should've picked something like … Olivia. It sounded more like the woman she seemed to be. "Lily, we've talked about this already."
"If you're worried because I'm blind, I can't blame you," I said. They all shut up and I knew they were listening carefully to what I would say next. "I still don't know why he wants to marry me but I swear I'm not interested in his money—I've got money on my own—or his title—I don't care about being a Queen or not. I am not completely useless, you know. I've learned to do my things on my own, too. It's only my eyes that don't work, not my brain."
"We'll see that …," she said as if she was already convinced I wouldn't keep up to her exigences.
Supper lasted forever. And I didn't say a word after that scene with his mother. I was still a little shocked about it. Why did people have to be so mean? I thought I would faint; I was so hungry and yet so upset—but mostly disappointed about it. But I didn't faint. I barely said good-bye when we left and I didn't even bother to try to look at them into the eyes or to look wherever they were talking. They had already made up their mind about me, and I wasn't going to change it anytime soon. The best thing to do was to get along with it, now, and not let it ruin me. She wouldn't be another one to tell me that there is nothing I can do.
When we finally got out, he took me back home and stayed quiet about what had happened. He obviously didn't know what to say to make me feel better—if that's what he wanted to do. I invited him when we arrived. "It was a disaster," I said. "They didn't like me at all."
He sighed.
"I do think they have. That's just my mother's weird way of saying 'welcome in the family.' " he explained. But if he was trying to convince anyone, it didn't work. I didn't buy it. Being blind had learned me that trusting my ears was the best thing. I wasn't blinded by their facial expression because I didn't see them. All I heard was their voices, hissing their words like snakes.
"She has a weird way to welcome people in your family," I mumbled.
"Let her be," he said. "She was only testing you, to see if you were going to replicate or not. But you were very shy with her." I sort of was and I wasn't at the same time. I did have replicate. Was it enough, though? I doubted it.
"Of course I was! I know nothing about them! You've told me nothing! What was I supposed to say? Besides, I've never done anything like this. I was unprepared. Why didn't you tell me it would be like that?" I yelled. "Why didn't you tell me she would test me? I thought she hated me big time out there."
I was mad he hadn't even bothered to tell me a bit about his family or about anything! What had they thought of me? Even if he had said his mother was only testing me and that she didn't hate me, I was pretty sure that was all a lie so he wouldn't be disgusted by her. What had she really think of me? I didn't want to know. I hadn't said a single word after she "tested" me! How could they have think I would make a good wife for their son?
I was hungry. It didn't make me feel better. It was worse. "I am sorry, honey," he apologized. "I didn't say a thing because I knew nothing."
"It's your parents. You know them. You could have told me what they're like," I snapped.
Anger slowly started to fade. I had never been the type to have crisis all the time because I was angry. "I should have. You're right."
That answer bothered me. "Don't just say I'm right and you're wrong! It doesn't solve anything!" I mumbled.
I felt his look on me as I tried to escape. I knew it was useless but I gave it a try. He caught my arm two seconds later. "Don't turn your back on me," he said. "What else can I say? I'll try to give you all the information I have next time."
There was nothing to say to fix the way I felt. I shrugged and he hugged me. I let him do it. "Now, are you hungry? I can see if your cook can make you something," he offered.
I shook my head. I was hungry, but I didn't want to eat. I didn't require his help. I took a step back. "Still mad?" he asked.
I shrugged again. I had no other answer to give him. "I … I just want to be alone. I'll be fine," I finally told him.
His hand was still on my wrist. He took it off. His lips kissed my cheek. "I understand," he assured. "Believe me, I wish I had told you before all of this."
He waited just like he expected some kind of answer from me, which I didn't bother to give him. I felt he was feeling sorry. I wanted to cry. What if he didn't want me after all? A single teardrop slipped on my cheek. He instantly wiped it off and I was back in his arms again. He caressed my hair and lovingly rubbed my back. I let some more tears come out. "Don't cry," he murmured. "I hate it when you do."
The way he said it … It felt like it wasn't his first time seeing me cry. But it was impossible. I barely cried. And I had never cried when he was around. Unless he had spied on me, which I doubted. Besides, I hadn't cried in a long time. I finally stopped shaking and crying. My cheek must have been all wet and my eyes red. But I couldn't find out for sure. "You're feeling better?" he asked after a while.
How could he be this gentle? How could he care so much? I nodded, my head against his body. "You're sure you want me gone? I can stay if you'd like," he said.
I thought about it for a second. I wasn't quite sure I was ready. Ready for him to see me like that. But he would be my husband soon, so I nodded. "Stay," I told him. "I need to eat."
He grabbed my hand and slowly guided me through my house, just like he knew every room of it better than I did.
The next day, when I woke up, I found—well, hit, trying to get up—my sister siting on my bed. "I heard you made a fool out of you yesterday," she said.
Her voice was cold. "She didn't," my brother's voice interrupted—since when was he there? "The wedding is tonight. They asked for it."
I was so surprised, I didn't move. How could his mother let me marry him? How could she even ask for it? This didn't make any sense. How could he still want to marry me? He had seen everything he will have to deal with. And still, he wanted it. This had to be a dream. I got up, so fast I almost fell. They managed to stabilize me before. I was smiling, I really couldn't be happier. Someone wanted me. "They have? Are my things ready?" I asked.
"They are. You have a few minutes to get ready before we'll all prepare you for the big day."
That was a day I would never forget.