3)Community : Road Trip 1

(Read Happy Endings and Summer Break Número 3 first!)

The streetlight flooded down on to the pavement outside Jeff's apartment. Crickets chirped, cars drove and people spoke. The moon lit what wasn't already, illuminating the outside. Inside, a bra flew off the bed, followed by some socks.
"Jeff! Again?"
"What? The last time was this morning."
"You men are permanently horny!"
"Deal with it."

Chapter 1 : Greendale Library, 10:10-10:40

"Alright!" Jeff marched into the study room and sat down, silencing any conversation.
"Oh, it's Jeff."
"Gay Jeff." Pierce laughed by himself again.
"Why are we here today? I wanna go home with my boys soon."
"It's okay, Shirley." Shirley smiled at Britta and waved as she ran out.
"Byee!"
"Well. If you lot asked us to meet here in the middle of summer just to chat I'm out. Bye losers!" Pierce walked out.
"So why did you gather us here?" Troy leant in to the table.
"I found an RV."
"Great. I guess that's why you got rid of Shirley and Pierce?"
"I didn't. They removed themselves, Annie." Jeff smiled at his girlfriend and turned back to the group. "Here." He threw a yellow folder onto the table. Abed scrambled for it, and then opened it. Paper poured out onto his lap and the table, detailing a car dealership and where they'd go.
"RV. 30,000 new. 4 bedrooms. 2 bathrooms. We'd go across America?"
"Why not. Unless you've got a better idea I say coast to coast." Jeff looked around awaiting a response.
"What about Canada?" Britta suddenly seemed interested.
"You may be onto something."

"Okay. So - Canada. 4 weeks. There's 5 of us and estimated costs total 50,000. Everyone got 10 big ones lying around?"
"Jeff. That's kinda steep-"
"We get to keep the RV. We can do other things, other years! Think about it! Limitless possibilities forever. We could have adventures every year!" Abed got really excited describing things they could do.
"Basically, it could become a tradition. We don't go on any holidays throughout the year to save 2-10,000 for a big trip. Together."
"Yes! That's awesome! Especially after Jeff leaves for being a lawyer! We could keep contact for years!" Annie started giggling like a little girl - a smaller one.
"So. It's settled. We'll have a big road trip every year. Road trip? Road trip? Road trip?" Jeff pointed around the group, receiving 4 confirmations.
"I've got 10,000 my dad gave me. He sold his falafel shop to a big chain and got about 60,000."
"Great, Abed. We just need 40,000 more."
"You've got enough, Jeffrey Winger?"
"Britta. I used to be a lawyer. I'll have some tidied away in a bank account somewhere."
"We'll meet again. Next thursday - 10:30. Here. Bring a cheque or cash. I'll cash it into one big account for us to share. Then we can add to it throughout the year gap and provide for the next trip!"
"Genius. I'll see you all next Thursday!" Britta and Troy left with Abed, leaving Annie and Jeff.
"How did you get the door open to the library? It's not in school hours?"
"Annie. I let the dean touch my hair. I've got keys." Jeff waved a key ring around in front of Annie. There were about 15 keys on there.
"You've got keys to the whole school?!"
"Yeah?"
"Let's go. I want to learn more about the RV. Like the fact there are 5 of us and 4 rooms - I assume that's meant to be for us?"
"Oh, Britta and Troy will use 1 room too. Abed will bring his Dreamatorium or something." Jeff stood up and hooked himself into Annie's arm.
"Milady."
"Milord."

Chapter 2 : Interlude

"10,000. That's a lot of money." Jeff kept repeating this mantra to himself as he flicked through a pile of papers. Banks, banks, cheque books, more banks and receipts. He'll have cash somewhere - right?

Annie sat opposite Jeff at the kitchen table, scouring through her own pile of crap, albeit slightly more organised.
"Jeff! I've got a student ISA in an account! I haven't touched it! I'm 21 now so it should be open for withdrawals."
"Check that. You could have a decent lump in there. Even if the world's economy is actually shit."
Jeff and Annie left the apartment and drove into town in the Lexus, hunting down a bank.

Britta's house pounded with the music of the 80's - not being appreciated, just blocking out the tired, irritated screams from inside. Where was some cash? She couldn't be THAT overdrawn!? She'd have to contact her parents! Oh god, that wouldn't end well. Especially after the incident with the tear gas...

"Troy..."
"Yes Abed. I know. We don't have 20,000."
"Not that. We're not alone with that. This holiday won't be able to go ahead."
"Well. We're royally screwed. We could ask Pierce-"
"No. He's not even coming. We can't ask for money. He'll ask why."
"Dammit. Well, I'm out. No way I can afford this. The trip of a lifetime."
"I'll talk to my dad."
"What?! No! He might be loaded now but he won't fund us."
"Not from him. I'll ask for cash from other sources. I'll have an account or inheritance somewhere."
"Your the best, Abed."
*secret handshake*

Pierce sat at home, on the 3rd floor of his mansion. He was in the bath - a bath of cash. He really had too much, but who was he kidding? He was Pierce Hawthorne! He could do whatever the fuck he liked. And that would be writing out a cheque... To gay Jeff! He'd say it was for lube and other, things that gays needed! He would only see Jeff for another year... The least he could do was embarrass him enough to make it memorable.

Chapter 3 : Cash, Greendale Study Room

Britta flung open the doors of the study room. Empty, as it should be. She got there early to think up a way to say "I'm fucking broke. Give me money." without sounding like a bitch. She flung her bag around the chair and sat down. There was a paper in the middle of the desks? She reached in to get it. A cheque. Made out to Jeff. Signed "Hawthorne - for your gay toys!"
"Holy cheese! 70 big ones!" Britta double checked. Pierce had left 70 grand to Jeff as a joke!?
"You found the cheque then." Abed sat up on the sofa.
"Oh my god! Where did you come from?!"
"I was here before you. Probably for the same reason. I'm broke."
"Troy said your dad had money-?"
"He's on holiday in India. I can't get to it. But we're okay - Pierce left a cheque."
"Yeah... I noticed. You do know this means we're relying on Jeff completely- right?"
"I know. You're worried. Don't be. Annie keeps his ego in check."
"Morning, friends and Britta." Troy waltzed into the study room and pecked Britta on the lips. "Is that a cheque?"
"Yep. Pierce left it to Jeff as a joke. 70k."
"What the hell?! I LIVED with him for 7 weeks?! I got nothing but a troll!"
"You got money, Troy?"
"Haha. No." The three arranged themselves around the table. "I got here early to come up with an excuse."
"Great minds think alike."

Half an hour passed till Annie came in.
"Hi guys!"
"Annie! Thank god you're here. We need your help."
"What with?"

"Morning." Jeff flicked his sunglasses off and sat down to silence. Everyone was smiling at him. Annie had moved to the empty seat next to him.
"Jeff..." Annie fluttered her eyes at him.
"Okay. What is it? Did I forget something? Am I actually naked?"
"I wish." Britta laughed and then quickly remembered she was with Troy. "Annie will explain."
"This." Annie waved a bit of paper in his face. "Is a cheque."
"Oh, you got money then?"
"Not quite." She passed it to Jeff.
"What... In the deep blue areas of hell is this?"
"What it looks like."
"Pierce must be out of his mind."
"Jeff! Don't you see?! We're broke! And you just got gifted 70,000 dollars!" Annie tried to get through to him.
"Oh!" Jeff sat up. "You want me to fund this holiday?"
Everyone nodded.
"Sure. One condition - next year you pay me 5k each."
"That's it?" Troy was confused now.
"Well, yeah. I'm not a dickhead. I was given this. I'm making money even if I ask you to give me nothing - so I'm asking for more gifts."
"Yay for Jeff!" Annie giggled and kissed him.
"Let's go get this RV."

Chapter 3 : 'Greendale Dealer', 10:35-11:0 (Wednesday)

"Oi Oi!" A man greeted the 5 customers into his shop. "You... You're here for a car right?"
"Er, yeah. What else do you sell?" Troy stared him down.
"There... Can be confusion. About the name. 'Greendale DEALER'. If you see what I mean..."
"Course. We are here for an RV. You still got any good offers on?"
"Where are my manners? Name's Bill. Sure. Come right through here." Jeff led the 5 behind Bill through the back door into the garden. Lines of RVs and SUVs. Everywhere.
"So, how heavy duty has this girl got to be?"
"Suitable for 5. On long trips."
"Budget?"
"As low as possible. But not crap."
"I see. All chipped in, yeah?"
"Sure, something like that." Britta crossed her arms and glance down the aisles of vehicles. "Well?"
"Sheesh. Okay blondie." Bill laughed to himself and gestured down Aisle 4.
"He reminds me of Pierce." Jeff shuddered and followed Bill.

"Finest in the fleet. 3 bedroom. 2 bathroom - toilet and shower. 1 kitchen. 10l tank. MPG of 35, which is pretty good for this hunk of sexy car."
"How much?"
"60,000. For you... 50,000."
"Sol-"
"Hold it Jeff!" Annie slapped her hand over his mouth. "Can we look around sir?"
"Of course."

"Annie. Why?"
The 5 boarded the vehicle.
"I wanted to see. After all, we'd be spending the next month or two together in it."
"Leather? Glass? Nice beds?" Abed grinned ear to ear. "This is awesome. I shotgun the roof bed."
"Um, sure Abed. You won that fair and square." Jeff tried to sound enthusiastic. Why would anyone want the roof bed?!
"So? You buying this babe?" Bill leaned in through the door.
"I'll take her. Can you change the tyres and MOT her? I'll give you another 1,000 if you get it done by Monday."
"Less than a week? Done."

Chapter 4 : Road Trip (Greendale Study Room, Greendale, America.)

"Jeff said to meet here." Annie tried to calm the masses. The other 3 had arrived with bags and laptops, awaiting Jeff's arrival.
"Jeff said he'd just come and pick us up, then get the RV." Troy dropped his bag and sat on the table.
"Maybe he-"
*HOOOOONNNNNKKK*
"-got the RV."
The 4 ran outside to the car park where a shining RV with tinted windows awaited their arrival. The door swung open, beckoning. They all giddily rushed over.

"Jeff?" Annie leaned in through the door and looked down the vehicle. To her right a figure sat at the wheel. "Jeff?"
*HOOOOONNNNNNKKKKK*
"Just get on peeps." Jeff called from the front. His minions obeyed and threw their bags and their bodies on board. Jeff stopped the engine and stepped out of the driver's cabin to greet them.
"Okay. Abed - roof room."
"Got it Winger." Abed clicked at him and ran to the back and disappeared.
"Troy and Britta - side room." Jeff gestured to the room on the left. "I'm at the back with Annie. The bathrooms are one on each side. Kitchen here, seating in front of you as you enter. Done?"
"Have we got any food? You know, stocked already?"
"Annie. What am I, superman?"
"Wow. Annie really does calm your ego." Britta laughed as she led Troy to the left bedroom.
"We'll be stopping in 30 minutes to get food and supplies. Probably a Wal Mart or something. So unpack." Jeff went back to his drivers seat and started the engine.
"Jeff? Aren't you gonna unpack?"
"You know..." Jeff started driving. "I wouldn't normally. But as its you... Sure. I like being packed and ready to jump at a moments notice, but you... You get me to settle down. As you predicted a while back." Jeff kissed her and she sat down in the passenger seat. "Ready, Milady and 1st mate?"

Chapter 5 : Wal Mart

Jeff turned the key and got up. He shook his girlfriend to wake her and picked up the microphone.
"Ladies and gentlemen - we have arrived at our first destination. Wal Mart."
"Really?" Troy emerged from the left bedroom, followed by Britta. "Wal Mart is the best you could find?"
"Er, yeah. Unless you wanna wait 2 hours more for food."
"I'm alright. I guess whatever they have will be better than starvation..."
"Not so sure..." Abed dropped down from the ceiling, through a trapdoor. "Wal Mart has a... reputation. I've never actually been to one... I was brought up by my dad."
"It's okay, Abed." Annie tried to comfort him - or so she thought. Abed wasn't shaken or anything, she just felt generous and friendly. "Troy can give you a tour. We'll follow."
*secret handshake*

"Alright. Remember what I said." Jeff closed the door of the RV behind him. "Troy, Abed and Britta - find food. I'll find drinks with Annie. Okay?"
"Sure." Britta sarcastically added. She led Troy and Abed towards the Wal Mart.
"Wait!" Annie screamed at the trio. "Do you have money?"
"Good question. Jeff..." Britta ran back and stroked Jeff's arm.
"Here's 150$. Go crazy."
"Let's go, Milady." Jeff hooked Annie again and they went back towards Wal Mart.

Jeff scoured down the aisles. Aisle after aisle.
"Annie? Found anything?"
"Only Coke. I guess we want some heavier stuff."
"Of course. We're all legal, right?"
"Just. I turned 21 a few weeks back."
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"I didn't know when to. Besides, I may have offended one of our diverse group." Annie sighed.
"Annie. We'll have to make it up, won't we?" He kissed her, right at the end of a aisle of tents.
"Excuse me. Do you need help looking for something?"
"Huh?" Jeff pulled away and came face to face with a barely twenty year old kid. He was wearing a Wal Mart uniform. "I guess? I'm gonna assume that wasn't a joke. We need the drinks aisle?"
"It's down the end. On your right. Make sure you got ID, yeah?" He winked at Annie and went back to patrolling the store.
"I'm flattered that I'm considered to be under 21. But he was desperate as fuck."

"Beer, beer, beer. Where's the goddamn beer?!" Jeff manoeuvred around an old lady with a trolley.
"Jeff!" Jeff turned back to Annie, who was happily gesturing down an aisle he'd already gone past. He backtracked and looked right. So. Much. Alcohol.
"Good job, Annie. Find something nice... For later. A birthday treat."
"Aww, thanks Jeff." She pecked him and skipped off down the aisle. Jeff used this time to find a stash for himself. Vodka. Jack Daniels. Brandy. Some lager. Done. Annie came back with a 30$ crate of beer.
"I've kinda got a craving for some right now."
"Fine. I'm not stopping you. 14%?! You're trying to get my drunk off my ass. Again."
"Maybe."
"Guys!" Troy came running down the aisle, pushing a trolley full of, presumably, food. "We found shit."
"I hope that's black guy for food. If not, I'm not paying for that."
"Seriously! Food! Sandwiches for today, beans and pasta for whenever and - A MINIFRIDGE, BITCHES!" He picked a box out of the trolley and waved it around.
"I get it. Is it enough?"
"For this week."
"Finally. Let's go." Jeff grabbed a 12 pack of coke on his way out of the aisle.
'That'll last a week.' Jeff thought to himself.

Chapter 6 : Day 1 of Travel

Troy plugged the minifridge into 1 one of 4 sockets next to the table. He ripped open the pack of beer and put 5 into the fridge, and closed it. Life was good.
Jeff was unpacking while Britta took the wheel.
"Soo... Annie. I see you and Jeff are getting along well."
"I guess."
"Look. I'll be blunt. You're good for him. We've all noticed less boasts and ego displaying since he started with you. Just... Don't ruin him? I'm lost for words, but you get it."
"Jeff was already a good guy, he just used what he had on his body for himself. That made him appear selfish."
"Abed. Where did you come from?"
"The roof. I'm looking for a key that fits the sliding window. I want to be able to lie down and feel the breeze along the motorway on my face."
"Ask Jeff."
"Cool cool cool." Abed's head disappeared back into the ceiling and reappeared above Jeff's head.
"You got a key-"
"Ah! What the fuck?!" Jeff flew back towards the wall and stared up at Abed. "Where. The HELL did you come from?"
"Ceiling. I need a key that opens the window in my "room"."
"Coulda just knocked. Jesus." Jeff rummaged through his keyring before throwing one up to Abed. "And shut that hatch! You aren't coming back in here through the ceiling again!"
"Cool." Abed disappeared.
"Cool? Is that it? That's all he can say?"

"Britta. Remove thyself from thy throne."
"Yes, sire." Britta pulled over and left Annie and Jeff in the driver's cabin.
"So. Met Abed?" Annie knew he had. He was still shaken.
"No... He just appeared above my head. That kid's got some weird problems."
"Don't forget my birthday tonight!" Annie leaned over to hug Jeff. It was a constant stream of affection!
"I wont."

By 21:25, the group had reached the border of Utah. Jeff had decided to go to the coast and up, extending their already long trip. They were all tired and Annie was eager to claim her birthday token. Jeff entered his room and shut the door behind him. He turned towards the bed to see Annie... Lying on her front with her legs up. She was wearing her hair down and untidy, and actually wearing... Not much. A lacy bra and knickers.
"Wow."
"I tried." She got up and rushed to the door. "One sec!"

She ran outside and to the kitchen area. She bent down to get a beer out of the fridge... And turned back to her room to see Troy staring.
"Woah."
"Stop gawping." She stroked his shoulder as she walked past and shut the bedroom door behind her.
"Boy did I pick the wrong girl. She's my age too! What has this world come to!" Troy shook his head and went back to his and Britta's room.

"Jeff! I got beer." She turned to the bed and saw Jeff... Just in a pair of tight, navy blue boxers.
"Woah woah woah. That's hot."
"I tried. Pass a beer - one? I'll get my own then." He brushed past her to the door.

Jeff bent back down to the fridge and pulled out a second beer. He'd drink more than 1. He turned back to Britta.
"Woah."
"Oh Jesus. You've got a quarterback in your room. Eyes off."
"Sorry, but... Wow. Annie must be special."
"Yeah. You look very... In the mood." He examined Britta's clothes. She was still wearing jeans and a blouse.
"Yeah well... Screw you." She went back to her room and shut the door. "Troy! I just saw Jeff... Wait for it... IN HIS BOXERS!"
"Yeah... I had a similar experience, only heterosexual."
"Should we-"
"Maybe. We are 'dating'."
"It's kinda awkward having seen Annie-"
"And me seeing Jeff."
"Let's have a four way."
"Eurgh no! I meant us. Not all of us."
"Oh. Sure."