On the final day of their journey, Anakin woke up, expecting to find Obi-Wan wrapped in his embrace like he had been the previous mornings. The empty spot on the bed next to him was cold and vacant. Obi-Wan hadn't been there for a few hours. Anakin hurriedly dressed and then wandered around the ship looking for him. It was much harder to sense Obi-Wan's presence now that their bond was broken.
The kitchen was abandoned, although the empty bowl and utensils reassured Anakin that at least Obi-Wan was keeping his promise of eating, no matter how arduous the task seemed to him. Finally, after checking his own quarters, the cargo hold, and several storage rooms, Anakin found him up on the bridge. Obi-Wan's arm was outstretched and he was staring intensely at loose wire resting on the controls. It was very disconcerting to feel Obi-Wan's emotions while knowing he couldn't read Anakin's. Normally, Anakin had no idea what Obi-Wan was thinking, but without his shields, he was like an open book. Sadness, pain, nervousness….it was heartbreaking to know Obi-Wan was suffering like that.
"Morning." Obi-Wan gave a startled jump and looked around at Anakin. "Whoa, sorry. I just wanted to let you know we're going to be in Courscant in less than an hour."
"I was just meditating."
Anakin stood behind him and wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan's waist, resting his chin on the top of Obi-Wan's head. "It doesn't matter if you can't use the Force."
"Anakin – please. I am aware that you can read my mind now, but I would ask that you at least give me the dignity of having my privacy."
Anakin lazily sent the loose wire soaring into Obi-Wan's grasp. "I don't read more than your emotions, Obi-Wan - and to be honest those are bit too loud to ignore. I saw you."
"Oh. Anakin, I didn't mean – "
" – yes, you did. I will respect your privacy, Obi-Wan."
"I know you will. I am more worried about the Council. They are easily going to detect the two of us. I have been trying to construct shields, even weak ones, but I'm afraid it isn't possible. I don't want to be the reason you are removed from the Order, Anakin. I've been thinking about it and I would ask that you see me to the Temple and then continue the mission. It will be easier for me to keep my mind clear."
"I would rather be there with you."
"As would I, but I am no longer a Jedi, no need to drag you down with me."
Anakin spun Obi-Wan around to face him, gripping his forearms uncomfortably tight. "Obi-Wan Kenobi. You are one of the best Jedi in the Temple. And you will always be a Jedi."
"How? Anakin?" Obi-Wan asked him desperately. "The Force is what makes a Jedi unique! Without the Force, a lightsaber is almost useless. All our fighting styles all rely on the living Force to guide us."
"A Jedi is more than a fighter, Master. I'm the fighter. You're the negotiator."
"Without being a Jedi, I am no longer a negotiator, I am merely a senator. It is hardly the same thing. I vowed to give my life in servitude to the Jedi and the Republic. And now I am unable to fulfill that. What exactly is my purpose?"
"You are my undeniably sexy boyfriend and Master."
Obi-Wan grinned slightly. "Could you please not use "sexy" and "master" in the same sentence?"
"You've never imagined any Master/Padawan relationships? Admit it, Master, you love being in control."
"That is – "Anakin was pressing light kisses down the side of his face, "– completely not –" moving to the sensitive spot below Obi-Wan's ear, "–hardly appropriate – " trailing gently up and down his neck, "– imagine what the Council would say –" catching Obi-Wan's lips, leaving him slightly breathless.
"Lost for words, Master?"
"If – you were my – Padawan – " Anakin's hands were now wandering across his chest, " –you most certainly – would be in trouble for your – impudence."
"I look forward to it," Anakin replied cheekily.
The ship's console started beeping. "Kriff. We're starting the landing sequence." Anakin took the ship off autopilot and started the ship's descent with ease. He docked it easily and lowered the ramp.
"As soon as we get off the ship, we can't be a couple."
"We will always be a couple. We just won't traumatize Master Windu by telling him. Are you ready to go back?"
Was he ready to go back to place he would most likely leave again? Was he ready to let Anakin leave him? Was he willing to try and deny that Anakin was anything more than a past Apprentice? No. He would have liked to stay on the ship, bantering lightly with Anakin, waking up in his arms, preparing to lose all his sense, while knowing no matter what, Anakin was there for him. Small comforts he wasn't going to get at the Jedi Temple.
"Yes, Anakin. I'm ready."
That was the first lie.