AN: Hey So I won't be updating as much as I'd like to because of school~ however, I'll be sure to still and try to get out a couple chapters every now and again :) I appreciated the reviews I've gotten and I'm grateful for the support :D But I'm having a little trouble deciding what direction to head this in so help would definitively be appreciated! Anyways this chapters kinda dark and dreary but enjoy none the less.
White Death
Ba-dump.
Ba-dump.
Ba-dump.
My heart was beating quickly and it was all I could hear after what felt like years of an oppressive silence. I could only stare at the white wall across from me. Not thinking or observing, only staring. Everything felt unreal. As if I'd be able to wake up in just a couple of hours and call everything a nightmare. A horrible terrible nightmare.
A flash of a pair of dead eyes ran through my head and I quickly grasped my hair. Pulling at it and hoping that the pain could distract me so I wouldn't think because I couldn't handle it. Couldn't handle living in reality and thinking about what I'd seen.
The police had called it a suicide and a note later confirmed their suspicions…but I saw it for what it really was…murder. Yes forensics would be able to confirm that Miza had stabbed herself with the knife because she was the only one who had touched it. Yes the note explained that she was the one that had decided and ended up killing herself. But I knew. I knew that I was the one who had caused this. I didn't stab her but I may as well have given her the knife and watched her do it. The note only confirmed that I was at fault because at the very end there was a tiny passage just for me. Telling me that I was the reason she had done it. I was the reason she had killed herself.
P.S. To Yuki and Yori may you both live happily and grow old together. I didn't want to be a third wheel so live happily knowing that you'll both be unhindered and that I am happy wherever I am. May the odds be ever in your favor. With all the love in the world – Miza 3
My lie. My disgusting and horrible lie had led to this. Led to my best friend's death, her suicide. Now, the only thing I could do was stare off into space waiting for time to pass. Waiting for someone to realize that I was the reason my friend had died. Waiting for someone to kill me in retribution because God knows how much I wanted to be the one lying dead in that casket. I wanted to switch places with her so badly. So terribly that I had to physically stop myself from doing so. Why couldn't I be there instead of her? It deserved to be me. I was a disgusting –
Disease
Yes….I was a disease. A horrible disease that had killed someone, that had made one of the most beautiful souls I'd ever known kill themselves. I need to be destroyed before it happened again. I had to get rid of myself before someone else I knew di-
"Yuki..."
A voice called distracting me from my thoughts. I slowly turned to the direction it had come from to see Yori's slouched form standing a few feet in front of me.
"Yuki…the ceremonies over…It's been over for almost an hour now. We have to go before they lower the casket into the ground."
I simply looked at him. Not understanding him and not quite liking his defeated posture. I'd done this to him. I helped kill Miza and now…I might as well have killed Yori from the dead look in his eyes.
"Yuki come on. Over wise we'll miss it."
He wanted me to move? How could I possibly do something that actually required thinking? Oh god and if I started thinking I'd see those horribly dead eyes again. Eyes that lacked life yet were able to still see down into my very soul. No I couldn't think. I wouldn't allow myself to. So I turned away from him and back towards the blank wall and murmured out a faint 'No.'
I heard a sigh and felt him coming closer to me.
"Yuki, we're the only ones left. We have to go…Miza would want us to be there when they buried her."
I flinched at her name and shook my head again before quickly muttering another no.
"Yuki…."
A heard another sigh before I felt his hand grasp my wrist and he started dragging me towards the back door. Still open and allowing me to view a small group dressed in all black heading away from us. I saw the white casket. I remembered the eyes.
"Come o-"
I snapped.