Italics = thoughts
Lost and Found – Part 6
Catherine sighed at Vin's restlessness. It was late, and every time she drifted off to sleep, Vin would toss and turn or murmur in his sleep and wake her. She decided she might as well get up and see if she could do anything for him. His headache had nagged him since his 'friends' had left. She wondered if that was the reason for his troubled sleep.
She moved toward the hearth where he slept off to one side. When he was up and moving around, he had insisted she take her bed back. She was sure the hard, cold floor did nothing to help his leg. It had bothered him more than usual today. Wondering if he had applied the liniment before retiring, she knelt near his pallet in search of the tin. Once he was on his feet, he also refused her offer to apply the liniment to his sore muscles. He was a stubborn man.
Her hand found the tin of liniment at the same time he rolled over on his right side. She froze as he grunted and woke at the stabbing pain that lanced through his hip and thigh. In his haste to relieve the pain, he rolled into Catherine, causing her to fall toward him. She flailed her arms in an attempt to stop the sudden nosedive, and suddenly found herself on her back, wrists captured roughly as Vin's body pinned her to the floor. It took him a moment to register what had happened and to recognize her as nonthreatening.
Vin let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding. In the dim light from the embers of the fire, he could just make out her wide-eyed surprise shocked face. "What're ya doin'?" His voice was gruff with his sudden awakening and the still shooting pain in his leg.
Catherine could feel his warm breath on her face before she heard his question. She was finding it hard to breathe with him on top of her as he was. Her mind was still trying to process how she had come to be here from her kneeling position. Thinking was difficult with him so close.
Vin noticed her short shallow breathing and wide-eyed blinking and instantly thought he must have hurt her. Moving as carefully as possible, he released her wrists and shifted his body away to sit by her side. "Catherine?" Her name came out in a croaked hoarse whisper, and he cleared his throat and said it again. She had not moved. He needed to see her, to know he had not hurt her. If he had, he would never forgive himself. Careful of his aching leg, he moved to try to stoke some flames from the embers in the hearth and tossed in a small log. Flames jumped and eventually started licking at the extra fuel but offered minimal light.
Catherine felt totally disoriented. Her hands were searching trying to regain her bearings. The light was growing as the wood caught and the flames grew, and Vin turned back to her and mentally kicked himself at the confused look on her face. She still lay where he had put her. He reached for a searching hand and moved back to her side.
"Are ya alright? Did I hurt ya?"
The deep concern in his voice turned her toward him, and he helped her sit up. He still held her hand, the other continuing its search for familiar surroundings. She found the pallet of blankets and the stones of the hearth and sighed with relief at knowing where she was.
She still had yet to speak. He studied her face intently. "Catherine?" He desperately wanted to hear her voice, to know he had not hurt her.
Turning her face toward his voice, she smiled wanly. "I… I'm alright." Her voice was nearly a whisper. She swallowed, and her voice was a little stronger. "I just… panic when I'm… not sure where I am," she tried to explain.
"I'm sorry." His sincerity turned to self-deprecation. "God, I thought I'd hurt you."
Her brows furrowed, her head shaking. "No. No." Unconsciously, she moved closer to him. "You just…" she stopped as if looking for the right word, "scared me," she finished.
He rubbed her upper arms soothingly. "I'm sorry. Reckon we scared each other." She nodded in agreement. "What're ya doin' over here?"
"You've been awfully restless. Thought you might be hurting."
The beseeching look on her face made him smile slightly. Somehow, she could tell when he was hurting even when he claimed he was not. He could not lie this time. "More today than I have been."
"You've been doing too much," she said reprovingly.
"I'm fine."
She pursed her lips, touched his right hip before he knew it, and he hissed at the contact. "Doesn't sound 'fine'." She said it matter-of-factly and he narrowed his eyes at her. She had him there. Her hands were once again looking for the liniment as he huffed out a breath in surrender.
Seeing the tin in the opposite direction of her search, he picked it up and took the lid off. "Got it."
Catherine held out her hand expectantly.
"I'll do it," he grumbled.
She pushed her upturned hand at him still waiting for the tin.
"Ain't proper," he mumbled.
A smile twitched her lips. "I can't see you, Vin. Besides, who do you think put it on those first few days?"
She was amused and his face flushed, he had not thought about that. His whole body ached back then. Ah hell. He had been naked when he woke up.
Catherine sobered as she sensed his discomfort. "I was only concerned with your injuries, Vin, not…" She trailed off, flushing with embarrassment herself now. She lowered her head and whispered, "It's hard to work it in deep enough on yourself."
He knew that was true. She had massaged the liniment into his arms and back while he was still bedridden. There was no comparison to when he applied it himself. "Alright," he acquiesced and placed the tin in her once more outstretched hand.
While he got comfortable on his left side and pulled his drawers down, Catherine warmed the liniment in her hands. They were gentle as they ran over his hip and thigh, working in the liniment and loosening the protesting muscles. Vin sighed when the pain started to subside under her care.
The next few days found Chris and the others going to the homestead under a more cordial atmosphere. Knocking certainly did make things easier, although the woman would not let them in the house. They had learned her name was Catherine and even though she was blind, she seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to Vin. As soon as she thought it was too much for him, she ordered them to leave. So far, the longest they had remained was a little over an hour.
Vin still had not regained his memory but with every visit things would rush through his mind, never slowing or staying long enough to be useful. He was growing more and more agitated and annoyed at their visits. Yes, they were stirring up memories, but they were also invading the peace and serenity of the little homestead. Catherine was always nervous when they were around, and that did not sit well with him. This was Catherine's home, and they made her uncomfortable even though she never said anything and allowed them to come. He knew it was because she wanted him to remember, he was not sure he cared to. Until these men showed up, he had been happy here with her, with the simple way of life, living off the land. From what the visitors had told him about the town they came from and their job there, he just wasn't sure he wanted to remember.
Chris was frustrated. Vin didn't seem overly interested in trying to remember his past. He asked darned few questions and allowed the three to talk about the town and their peacekeeping role and the other men. Vin did indeed seem different. Chris did not like this Vin. Why? Vin had not done anything but listen and protect the woman from them. He knew why, the connection was gone. He had lost the instant recognition between them, the bond, the understanding without words. Vin may have lost his memory, but Chris had lost the brother of his soul, the reason he had started to live again. Why in the hell isn't Tanner fighting to find out his past? He has to remember.
Josiah was speculative of the whole affair. Vin seemed… content here. He smiled more and expressed himself. He had previously, but this was different. He was open about it not guarded and careful. It was a beautiful thing to see, Tanner openly showing his emotions, to a degree. He still hid his hurts, but Catherine seemed to know when they hit him. Was it just the lack of memory that had him this way or did the woman have anything to do with it? She seemed genuinely to care about Vin. He wondered just what their relationship was. Would he come back even if he did regain his memory? Only time would tell.
Nathan was neither pleased nor displeased at Vin's lack of memory. He knew it could take hours, days, or even years for someone with amnesia to recover their memory. All they could do was tell what they knew and leave it up to Vin. The Texan was different, and he was glad he had mentioned it to the other men. He knew this was hard on Chris even though the black clad man never said so, he could see it. Their immediate connection was no longer there, and it was tearing Chris apart not having Vin around. He was also pleased that Chris had sent the others back to Four Corners. He knew the three of them made Catherine uneasy. He could not imagine how things would be going if the other three were present. He chuckled at that thought. Catherine probably would not have wanted any of them near the place. Without knowing them, Vin would have sided with her, and that would have been dangerous.
Catherine was torn. She wanted Vin to regain his memory; she knew first hand what it was like not knowing anyone or anything about yourself. At the same time, she did not want him to remember, and she felt guilty for it. She had not realized living here all alone for the past two years how much she missed having someone around, someone to talk with. It was nice to have someone to take care of again. She had missed it. She wondered what he would do once he did remember everything. Would he stay anyway, she gave him no reason to. Would he go and not think anything about leaving her? No. He was too sensitive and protective for that. Would he miss her as much as she feared she would miss him? It gave her a headache to think about it too long. She just had to wait and see what happened.