Mermaid Man Tribute

by Androidfish7

A tragedy has befallen Bikini Bottom, Mermaid Man has finally closed his eyes for the final time. Now, the residents, and some outside people appear at his funeral to say goodbye one last time.

4. Shooter

Mermaid Man Tribute by Androidfish7

Notice: This story has been typed by me in tribute to Ernest Borgnine, who died on 7/11/12 at the age of 95. I do not own "Spongebob Squarepants" nor do I own any rights to Nickelodeon or anything by Viacom.

Back at the Super-Villains Lair:

"Pack your weapons, Bubble, we're ready to unleash a drone attack on Bikini Bottom!" Man Ray exclaimed. "Well Jeez, with all the drones we're sending out, hardly seems like we need weapons" The Dirty Bubble replied. "Too bad! We need the weapons if the drones fail or don't work all the way!" Man Ray exclaimed, as Man Ray grabbed an M4A1 Carbine and an Executioner pistol, while Dirty Bubble grabbed a Kriss Vector and a Glock 17, which were light enough for him to grip, despite the fact he was a bubble. "Let's go" Said Man Ray, as Man Ray deployed 2000 MQ-27 Dragonfire Drones, and they took the elevator that Plankton had left behind, and within minutes were standing right in front of the Krusty Krab. Civilians quickly began to take notice. "Look! It's Man Ray!" one shouted, before Man Ray turned and gunned the civilian down with the M4A1. The Drones then rose above ground level, and began suicide bombing many buildings and civilians in the town, but some of them had been programmed has firing drones, meaning they had small automatic guns in them and fired on anyone other than Man Ray or The Dirty Bubble. Within seconds, hundreds of civilians had been killed, the Chum Bucket was up in flames, and Mr Krabs was standing outside the Krusty Krab, armed with a Colt M1897 Trench Gun, but this old World War 2 shotgun was only delaying the inevitable, and it was actually doing a good job, as Mr Krabs had managed to pick off a few drones, but eventually, they just overwhelmed Mr Krabs, and the Krusty Krab soon had massive collateral damage. "Me money!" Mr Krabs yelled, but it was too late, as the drones annihilated the Krusty Krab. Thankfully, everybody had escaped it in time to avoid injury or death, but those who left the Krusty Krab were being picked off by the firing drones. Any unarmed civilians were just lunch meat for these mechanical vultures. And all the time, neither Man Ray nor Dirty Bubble had even taken so much as a single step. "Now let's go find Baby Boy and Milkmaid Man's grave and desecrate it!" Man Ray said, as they began making their way over to the Funeral Home.

10 minutes earlier:

Blake and Barnacle Boy re-entered the Funeral Home. Guests were expected to arrive very shortly now, and Blake had just finished making sure everything was tidy and the reception would be good. "Well, I guess these will be our final goodbyes" Barnacle Boy said. "Yup, sure seems that way" Blake said. All of a sudden, a civilian came running to the home. "Well, looks like it's time to have our guests" Barnacle Boy said, but upon further inspection, it appeared that this fish was bleeding, and fast. "Oh my God! It's just as the prophecy stated, the sun as fallen out of orbit with the Earth, and sunspots are coming to kill us!" The civilian screamed. "Whoa, whoa, what do you mean the sun has fallen out of orbit? Is this some kind of Pre Galileo cosmic nightmare? The Earth is in orbit with the sun, not the other way around, second, what the hell happened to you?" Blake asked. The civilian then looked up at Blake, as he slumped and fell to the ground, dead. "This can't be good" Barnacle Boy said. "Well, let's go... Holy crap!" Blake said, as a few firing drones came zipping their way. Using a quickdraw finger, Blake took out the Corpse Ripper, but then realized something. "I have no .50 bullets for this thing!" Blake said, putting the Ripper away. Blake took out a Five Seven. "That's all you have?" Barnacle Boy said. Blake aimed and shot down 2 drones. "It'll have to suffice!" Blake said. "I don't have much either!" Barnacle Boy said, taking out a K-50M SMG. "Wait a minute, that thing takes .50 ammo!" Blake said. "Hey it does! Catch!" Barnacle Boy yelled, tossing Blake 3 stacks of 800 bullets. "It's not much, it'll have to last!" said Blake, loading the Corpse Ripper. After about a minute or 2, it didn't appear like anymore drones were coming. "What the hell is going on?" Barnacle Boy exclaimed. "I don't know!" Blake said. "Let's head into the city!" Barnacle Boy exclaimed, as they ran as fast as they could into Bikini Bottom. It looked like the Bikini Bottom military was responding to the attacks, as there were some foot soldiers with assault rifles in the streets, and there was carnage everywhere, buildings were on fire, citizens were running around, either on fire or disembodied, and the military had their hands full with the drones. All of a sudden, they heard loud yells from behind them. "Well if it isn't Baby Boy!" someone behind them said. Barnacle Boy then shuddered. "Only one person has ever called me Baby Boy" Barnacle Boy said, as they both turned around and faced Man Ray and The Dirty Bubble. "Look! It's Blake Winger, guardian of the heavens!" Dirty Bubble exclaimed, as Man Ray looked. "It matters not, this drone attack has already been successful, there's nothing Blake, or anyone, could do about it!" Man Ray said. Blake ran after them, as Man Ray got into a boat and began driving away. "Oh no you don't!" Blake said, as Blake's wings spread and Blake began gaining speed on the boat easily. Blake then flew right next to Man Ray. Man Ray took out the M4A1 Carbine and shot Blake right in the shoulder with it, but Blake was unfazed. Blake glided over the boat and dropped down, as Blake grabbed Man Ray's neck, and held the Five Seven to Man Ray's head. Just when all seemed over for Man Ray, Dirty Bubble came from behind and stabbed Blake in the back of the neck with a WakiZashi knife. Blake winced in pain, and this was enough for Man Ray to break free, as Man Ray knocked the Five Seven out of Blake's hands, and turned around. Blake took out the Corpse Ripper and fired at The Dirty Bubble, but the Dirty Bubble, being able to float, floated away from the boat and easily dodged the bullets. Man Ray, seeing an attack of opportunity, shot Blake in the back of the head with the Executioner (something that would normally have annihilated a human), but Blake turned around, bloodshot eyes and bleeding heavily (an Executioner uses 28 gauge shotgun shells, so such a blast would've gone through the head). Blake swatted the Executioner away and took out The Avenger. Blake swung at Man Ray with The Avenger, but Man Ray barely dodged the blow. Meanwhile, Barnacle Boy pulled up close to the boat with the Invisible Boatmobile. " #$% you Man Ray!" Barnacle Boy yelled, as he took out a Colt Python and fired a shot at Man Ray's head. The blow was enough to knock Man Ray out of the car. Meanwhile, The Dirty Bubble floated back to the boat. Blake, however, took out The Avenger and popped The Dirty Bubble so harshly and definitively that the force would've been enough to knock down an entire sky scraper. "Damn... Thanks!" Blake said. "No problem, they needed to be stopped" said Barnacle Boy. "Wanna go confirm the kill on Man Ray?" Blake asked. "Yes, we need to be sure this time" Barnacle Boy replied, as they backtracked, and found Man Ray not too far back. Man Ray's entire left side of the head had been taken off, and there was tons of collateral damage from falling out of the truck. "Well, I think he's dead. You don't need to be a doctor to confirm this one" Blake said. "Got a match?" Barnacle Boy asked. "Why?" Blake asked. "Just answer me, do you have a match?" Barnacle Boy asked. "Yeah, here (tosses Barnacle Boy a match)" Blake replied. Barnacle Boy lit the match, and threw it at Man Ray's body. "This son of a bitch can burn in hell" Barnacle Boy said. "I understand. It looks like the drones are gone, both the wrong-doers are dead, now all there's left to do is say goodbye" Blake said. They walked for a while, and finally reached the Funeral Home. "How's it feel?" Barnacle Boy asked. "What?" Blake replied. "I saw Man Ray shoot you in the head with a pocket shotgun (nickname for The Executioner), that's not something typical people can survive, and your eyes look bloody to hell, how do they feel?" Barnacle Boy asked. "Well, I've got a horrid headache and my eyes keep watering, but it'll get better." Blake said. "Sure hope so. We're lucky as hell my shot hit Man Ray in the head" Barnacle Boy said. "You really handled yourself back there. And I want you to know I think you've got it in you to protect this town" Blake said. Barnacle Boy turned around. "Based off of what? The town's destroyed" Barnacle Boy said. "Ha, but the main threat is gone, and you really helped me out by killing Ray Man" Blake said. "Man Ray" Barnacle Boy corrected. "Yeah, well, he ain't #$% now" Blake said. "That is true" Barnacle Boy said, as they approached Mermaid Man's grave. It read:

Here lies Mermaid Man (true identity Ernest Borgnine)

1917-2012

Died a peaceful death in bed, will forever be remembered for overwatching the town and keeping everyone safe

We'll miss you forever, Rest In Peace for all of eternity

"Almost brings tears to your eyes doesn't it?" Barnacle Boy said. "Yup, and here it is. Our final words" Blake said. "Mermaid Man... I will forever miss you, and I've got big shoes to fill, but I promise you, I swear on my grave, which hopefully isn't soon, that I will keep the town safe and I will do it in your honor! Oh God... Oh God..." Barnacle Boy said, as he began to break down crying. Blake went to comfort Barnacle Boy. "There, there, he's in a better world now. I promise to take care of him, life in the heavens will be grand for him" Blake said. "Blake?" Barnacle Boy asked. "Yes?" Blake replied. "I want you to have the Corpse Shooter, alright?" Barnacle Boy asked. "Alright, thank you" Blake said. The day had been done, the Funeral, while under peril, had taken place, and Mermaid Man was being left to rest for eternity. After getting the Corpse Shooter, Blake eventually went back to the heavens, while Bikini Bottom rebuilt and eventually returned to a peaceful and prosperous state.

1 day later:

Blake arrived back in the heavens. "What a ride" Blake thought, as he entered Heaven's gates. Blake went to their super computer, which he had re-renamed Mira after White had renamed it Vi, after a TV show they had seen. "Mira, bring up recent spiritual entrances" Blake said. "We have 11,855 recent ones" Mira replied. "Search the data base for 'Ernest Borgnine'" Blake commanded. Instantly, Mermaid Man was teleported next to Blake. "Is the evil defeated?" Mermaid Man asked. "Yes, it is defeated." Blake said. "Oh goodie, can I have extra broccoli?" Mermaid Man asked. "Of course" Blake replied, as Blake led Mermaid Man to the Chamber of Dreams, a Chamber that gives deceased souls the ability to relive or revise any part of their life in any way that they wanted. "Is this the cafeteria?" Mermaid Man asked. "It can be whatever you want it to be" Blake replied, as Mermaid Man entered the Chamber of Secrets. "Thank you sonny" Mermaid Man said. "Thank you Mermaid Man, and enjoy the Cafeteria." Blake said, as Blake shut the door, and Mermaid Man walked in. Blake had just granted Mermaid Man eternal happiness, and it looked like that was all. Blake sighed, and entered the Mansion, wondering what to do next.

The end

R.I.P Ernest Borgnine 1/24/1917 - 7/11/2012