Title: From the Ashes
Rating: MA
Genre: Angst/Drama/Romance
Characters: Katniss/Haymitch; Katniss/Peeta
Summary: What could possibly be more dangerous for Katniss Everdeen than The Hunger Games?
Author's Note: Takes place at the end of Mockingjay when Katniss and Haymitch return to District 12. I own nothing. Please ignore any typos…my brain certainly does. Haymitch's P.O.V.
The incessant knocking rouses me from a very deep, dreamless sleep. I lift my head, trying to figure out where the hell it's coming from before remembering I don't care.
"Go away!" I yell, dropping my head back onto the table.
The knocking continues, louder, and I realize it's coming from the front door. Katniss has never had the decency to knock—much preferring the method of dumping a bucket of water on my head to wake me up—and I'm not expecting anyone else for the rest of my life, so I'm clueless as to who the hell is so insistent upon seeing me.
I stagger up from my chair, nearly tilting sideways into the wall before I can get my feet under me and make my way to the door. I pull it open just enough to press my face in the crack, squinting against the harsh light of day that momentarily blinds me before I can make out who's standing on my doorstep.
"Well." Effie Trinket's voice is full of indignation. "Glad to see you're still alive after all."
"What do you want?" I grumble at her, now able to pick out the pink hair and matching dress against her pale skin.
"Aren't you going to ask me in?"
"I wasn't." I tell her, but hold the door open for her anyways. I can tell when the stench of alcohol and my unwashed body hits her nose, because she tries to politely recoil, but can't help covering her nose.
"Oh, good heavens, Haymitch…" It takes her a minute to compose herself. "I've changed my mind, we'll meet at Katniss' home in one hour. You will be bathed and sober when you get there."
It's not a request.
"Why?" I ask as she starts to walk away.
"Pardon?" She turns.
"Why would I agree to meet you in an hour at Katniss' house?"
"If you would ever answer your phone, you would know, Haymitch. Now clean up and get over to Katniss' quick, quick, quick."
I want to tell Effie to piss off, off, off, but I just scowl and slam the door as she walks away. Effie may be irritating, but she's harmless, and a harsh word with her cuts straight to the bone. She's not my friend by any stretch of the imagination, but I do care about her. Which is why, an hour later, I'm clean and as sober as I'm going to be today, and standing on Katniss' doorstep.
Katniss and I haven't spoken since the morning she stormed out of my house. I fully expected her to come back to me, either later that night or the next morning when she needed her next round of therapy, but she never did. I later learned that Peeta had come back that very same morning, and I realized that our arrangement was over. We'd both agreed to the terms, now we had to stick to them.
Fine. Mazel Tov. Have a nice life, sweetheart. I told myself that Katniss only complicated matters—the only thing she and I had in common was our enjoyment of sex—but now I was quitting my drug cold turkey. The alcohol helped to numb me about as much as it always had—which was never enough—but at least I could always get drunk to pass out. I just could never get drunk enough to get her off my mind. Now when I dreamed, I dreamed of Katniss Everdeen. As if my life wasn't miserable enough.
Peeta's the one who answers the door, and for a moment his eyes narrow at me. I'm not sure if it's the mixed memories or if perhaps Katniss has confessed our crimes to him, but it quickly passes and he holds his hand out to me. "Haymitch…it's good to see you."
"Peeta." I reply neutrally as I shake his hand. "What's this about?"
"Come in, I'll let Effie give you the details." I follow him into the living room, where Katniss is seated in the middle of the couch. Barely concealed rage is radiating off of her in waves. Ah…this I know how to deal with. I sit down directly next to her, sprawling myself out and making sure that our bodies are touching .
"Miss Everdeen." I greet in a saccharine voice.
"Haymitch." She says coldly, without looking at me.
"So, tell me what I'm doing here, sweetheart." I'm talking to Effie, but still looking at Katniss. Peeta seems to be either indifferent to me leaning into Katniss, or completely oblivious.
"Plutarch wants to go on with the wedding." Effie tells me.
This grabs my attention and I look at her. "What wedding?"
"Our wedding." Peeta tells me. "Katniss and mine."
"Why?" I ask, not seeing the motive behind it. "The Capital's back in the hands of the people, Snow's dead—as is Coin—and, if I remember it right, Katniss isn't exactly winning any popularity contests."
"Peeta and Katniss gave people something to hope for, something to dream about." Effie tells me. "We need that more than ever, especially in Capital where people have lived such sheltered lives. There's a sort of mass shell shock affecting the Capital residents and Plutarch thinks this will help them cope. Besides, everyone wants to see the star-crossed lovers of District 12 finally get their happy ending."
"You've got to be kidding me."
Katniss looks at me then, smugly. "Guess who gets to give me away."
"And if I say no?"
"Then you'll be forever known as the man who broke Katniss Everdeen's heart. Katniss Everdeen—the Girl on Fire, the Mockingjay, the girl who wanted nothing more than to marry the love of her life, Peeta Mellark, and be given away by her dear mentor, Haymitch. You wouldn't want that, would you?" She bats her eyes at me mockingly.
Well if she's not the little snake in the grass.
"Of course not, sweetheart." I put my arm around her shoulder and kiss her forehead. "I'll gladly give you away."
"Splendid!" Effie claps her hands, completely missing the entire exchange between Katniss and I.
"When do we leave?" I ask, wanting to get back home and into the loving arms of another bottle.
"When do you think?" Effie laughs.
"What? Now?"
"Come on, Haymitch." Katniss says patting my knee with feigned enthusiasm, mimicking Effie. "It's going to be a big, big, big day! You don't want to hold up the wedding of all weddings, do you?"
"I guess I was wrong about you, sweetheart." I narrow my eyes. "I guess the world really does revolve around you. Well, if you'll pardon me, Princess, I'll just go pack."
Within the hour, I'm back on the familiar Capital train that has transported me to and from the Games for the last 25 years. I stow my bag in the same cabin I've always used, then head straight for the bar car. Effie is in the dining car, taking advantage of the many sweets banqueted in the room.
"Haymitch, dear…" she calls as I pass her. I pause with a sigh and turn to look at her. "Just this once…for me?"
I realize she's asking me not to drink. "What's in it for me?"
Effie thinks for a minute then looks at me seriously. "I'll never ask you for anything else, ever."
That offer sounds too good to be true, but Effie's not one to go back on her word. "Swear it."
"You know I do, Haymitch." She says softly.
"Fine." I fall into one of the chairs in the car. "But I hope you know what you're asking for. You didn't see me the last time I was sober."
"No." She says quietly, picking at a sweet roll. "I was being held prisoner at the time."
Neither of us says anything for a long moment, knowing there's nothing we can say to ever change what happened. If the rebels hadn't found and freed Effie when they did, she'd have been killed with the others, and I would have had one more death on my conscience.
"I'll try to mind my manners." I tell her as honestly as possible.
Her demeanor changes at this and she smiles brightly. "Well, that'll be a nice change."
I'm able to avoid Katniss for most of the duration of the trip, too sick from withdrawal to eat anything, and keeping to myself in my cabin as I use the time to dry up and sort myself out. I don't want to think about the wedding, mostly because it's just as absurd as it always was—a publicity stunt, nothing more—but partly because my head starts spinning anytime I think about the many faces of Katniss Everdeen.
When we arrive at the Capital, we're taken to the training center, and I feel a vague sense of déjà vu as we ride the elevator up to the 12th floor. "Am I the only one who has a bad feeling about this?"
Three pairs of eyes stare at me, but no one answers, and it doesn't help me shake the feeling that something seems off about this whole ordeal.
Dinner is set on the table and two Avox girls stand by to wait on us hand-and-foot—though they are supposedly being paid now, and offered the choice of servitude. I pass, again, on eating and go to my room, stripping down to nothing and climb under the sheets, wanting nothing more than to sleep until I have to perform my duty, then go back home and drink the life out of myself.
It's dark outside when the bed shifts and a warm body slips in next to me. Katniss' lips are on mine before I can even pull my eyelids open. I jerk back, angry and confused by her hot-and-cold feelings for me. "What are you doing in here?"
"Peeta's asleep." She tells me, trying to climb on top of me.
"No." She still fighting to straddle me, and I push her down on the bed by her shoulders. "Katniss, no."
"Please, Haymitch…I need you."
"You need your head examined." I sit up, putting my back to her. "Go back to Peeta."
"Fine." Her voice shakes ever so slightly and I feel the bed shift again as she gets up. I listen to her hastily dress, then hear her bare feet cross to the door. "By the way, Haymitch…I just thought you might like to know that I'm pregnant."
I look back at her, not breathing, and find her looking at me with an unreadable expression.
"And it's not Peeta's."
She opens the door and I know I only have half a second before she'll be gone forever. My throat feels as dry as a desert as I try to call her back. "Kat—Katniss."
She pauses in the doorway but doesn't look at me. I find my pants and tug them on as I move towards her, pushing the door closed and blocking her exit. She doesn't look at me.
"How long?"
"I don't know." She says shakily. "With everything else, I wasn't keeping track of my cycle, but I realized I was late about a week ago."
"You're sure you're pregnant?"
"Not 100%, but I've never missed my period, even by a few days." She gives a short, hysteric laugh. "Tick tock, I'm a clock."
She hiccups a sob, covering her mouth and I can see the impending breakdown. I pull her into my arms and hold her as tightly as I can. "And you're sure it can't be his?"
She's shaking her head. "He's not ready for that yet. We sleep in the same bed, but the farthest we've gotten is kissing. He's still too messed up for anything else. He said love and hate are both strong emotions and he can't sort them out yet. He's scared he'll get confused and hurt me."
Katniss breaks down, sobbing into my chest. "What am I going to do?"
I feel myself returning to mentor-mode, not mentally prepared to defuse this bomb she's dropped on me. We need time to work out a plan, but time is not something that is on our side. In a few days, I'll be walking Katniss down the aisle, signing away any privileges and rights she has given me to her body, knowingly giving her away while she carries my child. This situation couldn't be more fucked up if I tried.
"You're going to pull yourself together, you're going to go back to that boy and pretend to be madly in love with him—unless you don't need to pretend—and you're not going to tell anyone about the baby. I'll think of something."
I have to give the girl credit; she wipes the wetness from her eyes and tries to calm her breathing as she looks at me, seeming to draw strength from my words. "Thank you, Haymitch."
"I need to know…do you want to keep the baby?" I'm not sure if I want her to say yes or no, and again I'm holding my breath as I wait for her to answer.
"Yes." She says so softly that I have to strain to hear her. Her fingers catch my face as she gently pulls me down into a tender kiss that stirs something long dead inside of me. When she slips from the room, I realize I was wrong about this situation. It's now as bad as it could possibly be.
In a few days, Peeta Mellark will marry the girl I love.
TBC