So Johnny stayed with me. We talked a little. I tried to keep conversations going but sometimes was too much I couldn't even talk. Johnny didn't really know what to say, so after awhile we just say there. Johnny got out his book and tried reading it for awhile. It's not that he can't read, cause he can. It's just that he's probably at a third grade level, so a big book like Gone With the Wind is pretty hard for him. "Damn it I really hope I can find somebody willing to read this for me." He said after a bit. I really wish I could read it for him, but I was too tired. Too tired to read, to hold a book, to talk, to even be alive anymore.
I don't know how long we sat there together. A couple hours I guess. After a bit, Soda and Darry walked in. Their shirts were ripped, they were covered in mud. They had a few bloody cuts on them too. They just came back from the rumble. They were here to tell me we won. I already knew. And I was so weak, I knew I was probably gonna die soon. But I didn't wanna die in front of my brothers and best friends, but I didn't wanna die alone either.
"Hey, Pones. Guess what? We won, scared the Socs out of our neighborhood." Soda told me. He didn't seem happy though, or proud.
"There's no point in fighting them." I said to him. He nodded his head, like he understood. I looked over at Darry. "Darry..." I said, voice sounding rough and quiet.
"Yeah Pony?" He sat closer to me.
"Are you...proud of me?" I asked. Darry was quiet for a few minutes. But then he took my hand and answered.
"Yeah Ponyboy. I'm real proud of you." He answered. I gave the best smile I could, I really needed to hear that. I knew it was gonna happen any minute now.
"Johnny,"
"Yeah?" He had a tear forming in his eye. I really wish he wouldn't cry, this was already hard enough as it is.
"Stay Gold." I gave him the same advice he gave me before he died. Figured it could help him somehow. Soda and Darry looked confused, but Johnny nodded, understanding.
People talk about a white light, but I didn't see anything. I just closed my eyes, and it all went black for a second. Next thing I knew, I felt weightless, and the pain, all the pain was gone. I was floating, I could see my body. I could now see how out of shape I looked. But ont only that I could see that my body seemed...empty.
Soda, Johnny and Darry were all still looking at me. Johnny had tears slowly coming down his face, but he couldn't take his eyes off me. Darry put his face in his hands, to hide the fact that he was gonna start crying as well. Soda though, took my hand.
"No Ponyboy, come on, wake up." He said, shaking me, well my body. I didn't like this, I didn't like this at all. I hated seeing the three of them like this.
"Don't die on us, please. Don't leave us, like Mom and Dad." Soda begged. Mom and Dad. Were they like me? Ghosts? I sure hoped not. I was only one for about a minute and I already hated it. I heard somewhere ghosts have unfinished busniess. My parents had any so they probably got to go to heaven, but what would mine be?
Also when Soda mentioned our parents, I remembered the pain and grief I went through when they died. It sure was hell. Now Soda and Darry had to go through it all over again. I really didn't want them to.
Soda began to cry real hard. He got up and left the room. I had to follow him, make sure he didn't do something like Dally did when Johnny died. It took me a second to figure out how to do it, but I figured out and went after him.