Okay guys, here is the next part. This is partly AU again and my TAG to Search and Rescue. Hope you like it. Like promised the last Part is getting up later, too.

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Have fun. Hope you enjoy.

Warning: Added Angst and whump.

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Chapter Eight

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The worth of a Life together

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When his heart stopped for the second time, Jennifer Keller decided that it had been a mistake to give in to his plea, and even though he had rescued them, it hadn't been worth it. Ronon and Rodney surely would have been able to save John's wife and son.

A fact only she had known for long time.

Over the past months, Jennifer had become Teyla's best friend. The only person who knew the truth about the baby, the secret relationship and with that, the only person Teyla could talk to besides the Colonel.

Jennifer had seen the ever-growing love the two had for the other and Teyla had happily told her that she and John had married on Earth secretly. They wanted to be together for the rest of their lives.

So here she was, trying to save the live of her best friend's husband, a life hanging by a thread because she had made the wrong decision.

She couldn't count the times she had Colonel Sheppard in her care, but never before had she been this hopeless. It couldn't be over yet. There was too much life left to live for the two.

She was a Doctor; she had sworn to protect lives. But she had decided that her best friend's husband's life was not as important as the return of her best friend. She had wanted to make him happy and of course that happiness was tied to his wife and son.

So she had thrown all carefulness and rational thoughts out of the window and had, against her better judgment, patched him up and let him go.

Luckily she had been insistent on putting fluids into him first. He probably wouldn't have survived this long.

It was worth it, he had said.

She was fighting for that, making it worth the cost.

…

Earlier…..

Jennifer smiled at John, who was totally immersed in his son. Teyla, on the gurney next to him, beamed happily at her two men.

Deep down, she knew she should be more worried, but she was too happy to have her friend back to acknowledge the feeling.

Her thoughts travelled back to the planet.

The med team had beamed down to the planet to help get everyone back to Atlantis.

Almost two years of secret relationship had been revealed when Lt. Colonel John Sheppard, Military CO of Atlantis, known for never showing emotions, had introduced his son. Too happy and proud to care what he said.

"See, Jennifer, it was worth it. I told you I'd get them back and I got them back, my wife…," he looked at Teyla with all the love he felt in his face and then down, "and meet our son, Torren John!" there was no mistaking he meant what he said.

Not even Rodney's irritated, "Sheppard, you've lost too much blood, give the kid to Keller," could cover the truth.

Luckily only Atlantis personal had been present, and she and Ronon had quickly sworn all to secrecy.

Jennifer's attention shifted back to the scene before her.

The fact that he had voluntarily settled on a gurney should worry her too, but then John had climbed out of the dart and onto the gurney under his own steam. Not once letting go of his newborn son who was still snuggled against his chest.

John was joking, smiling and speaking to his son while Teyla watched them. Jennifer had chased everyone to the other side of the infirmary to give the couple five minutes of solitude to reconnect.

So she had stayed close to make sure they were fine. She had barely been able to keep her tears at bay when John had declared his love for Teyla and thanked her for their son.

She was surprised about Sheppard's sudden openness, but after the ordeal of the past days and being a new father she allowed him to be a little loopy, even more so as she knew from Teyla that he never held back with his feelings when they were alone.

"I think we should get Colonel Sheppard examined," Dr Cole said from her side startling her. She looked up quickly. Trying to decide why Cole thought that. He was ghostly pale, but then he had looked like that for the past days. Given the ordeal he had lived through it was to be expected.

Now looking closer at him, she realized that Cole was right. He seemed to have faded and grown tired, his eyes blinking ever so often. So she moved over with Cole in tow.

"Okay Teyla, let's get you checked out," Jennifer finally interrupted, she had already explained to them that they needed to check Teyla out and make sure nothing had been left in the uterus after giving birth. "Dr. Cole is going to take a look at you too, Colonel."

John looked up quickly, nodding, before looking at Teyla, smiling.

"I love you. Thank you," he mouthed before adding loudly. "We'll see you later."

…

It still took some time before Cole finally managed to pry the baby from the Colonel. She made sure though that the little boy always stayed in his father's view.

She delivered the boy safely to the nurse asking her to wash and examine the baby before getting him dressed. When she turned back she found Colonel Sheppard's head hanging, his eyes closed.

After her first tries to rouse him failed, she checked his pulse and breathing, before moving on to his wounds. What she found worried her - his pulse was thready and his breathing shallow, the stiches were torn out and blood was welling up, slowly trailing down his side. She looked around; his teammates were on the other side of the room, currently being examined and patched up too.

"Sargent Miller, could you help me for a moment?" she kept her voice calm, so she felt anything but, as she rubbed over Colonel Sheppards sternum once more, not getting any reaction.

She wondered how much blood he had lost already, she needed to take a look at his back.

When they lifted and turned Sheppard slightly, she was shocked to find the gurney under the Colonel soaked in blood.

"We need help," she yelled, past staying calm and remaining undetected.

From a corner of her eyes Cole saw Ronon and Rodney react, but she ignored them. Ordering machines, IV's and meds, all being attached to the Colonel while trying to save the man's life.

They started to work on John immediately, but barely managed to keep him alive, as his blood pressure plummeted and then stayed on the verge of non-existence. His heart stumbled over its own beat, frantically trying to keep up with the continually loss of blood.

They just didn't get the fluids in him fast enough. Cole was setting a third line when his heart finally gave up.

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XOXOXOXOXO

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"Why don't you rest a little, Teyla," Jennifer said, smiling at her friend. "I'm going to see if Dr Cole finally managed to get John to give up your son and let them have a look at him."

Teyla blinked at her friend sleepily. "Is John all right?"

"A lot has been going on lately. I'm going to be honest, but I don't want you to worry. He has been through the wringer, is dehydrated, needs fluids and a blood transfusion as well as surgery, but we will fix him in no time, so you three can start being a family."

Teyla's eyes widened at the list of problems.

"As soon as we are done with him, I will put you two in a separate room, so you can enjoy some privacy. I'm sure you two have a lot to talk about."

Teyla nodded; appeased for the moment she closed her eyes. She was tired from giving birth and being rescued. She startled when she felt a pinch as Jennifer insisted on an IV with fluids for her too.

"Can you bring my son?" She loved John and loved seeing him holding their son, but she too longed to hold their son.

"I will."

"Dr. Keller," Marie's urgent call drew her attention from Teyla. She looked at Marie, knowing immediately something was off; she looked back at Teyla, but her friend had dozed off.

She moved out of the room, catching the sound of blaring monitors announcing that someone was on the verge of dying.

"The Colonel?" she asked and without waiting for an answer took off.

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XOXOXOXOXO

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"Clear," Jennifer yelled once more shocking John's heart.

She wouldn't give up. She just couldn't. She counted the compressions Marie was beating against John's chest after a short pause of waiting to see if his heart continued to beat on its own.

She had five minutes left. Five minutes before medical statistic proclaimed the chances of survival of resurrection as none existing.

"Clear." Jennifer stopped breathing, counting the seconds before they would resume manual compressions.

One, two, three, four…

"We have a pulse," the announcement was accompanied by the beep of the heart monitor, first one then two, speeding up. "Blood pressure fifty over thirty five, breathing twelve."

It wasn't good enough. Fight John!

"BP Seventy eight over fifty five, getting stronger, pulse forty-five steady, breathing 23."

That's it, John, fight!

"Okay, we start, scalpel."

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XOXOXOXOXO

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Teyla surfaced from sleep to the soft cooing of her son. She felt warm and comfortable and knew immediately they were safe. John had come and brought them home. Though she had longed to hold her son, she had let John keep holding him. He had looked so happy.

Lindsey had finally brought Torren, freshly cleaned and in new clothes. John had ordered them she had told her. Always sure he would find them and get them back. Teyla was moved by how much he had believed in getting them back.

The nurse had settled Torren in a transparent basin next to her bed so Teyla could watch him sleep. She had fallen asleep too waiting for John to return to her.

When she had woken, John had still been in surgery. She had been too distracted with tending to Torren and when she was done nursing him, too tired to really ask for more information about him. She had fallen asleep again.

Now awake again she felt better rested and wanted nothing more than to see John. She sensed someone being in the room and in her belief it was John she kept her eyes closed to listen to him.

"Hey, Torren, I know your dad is not here right now, but it isn't his fault," she heard Ronon's deep voice telling her son. She kept her eyes closed, though surprised but curious to hear more.

"Your dad is a great man. He almost died to get you and your mom back and we lost him for a few days when he was in the future, but he came back and got you back. I know it's not looking too good right now, but your dad will survive and he will hold you again."

Teyla's eyes snapped open upon hearing to her friend's narration of what had transpired, "Ronon?"

"Hey, Teyla," he greeted, looking up worried.

"Where is John?"

"Keller's still fixing him," he cocked his head.

"What happened?" she asked, her gaze fixed on Ronon. From the look on his face she could tell that he wasn't sure what to say.

"Ronon," her voice held a warning.

"His wound reopened and he didn't tell anyone. He lost a lot of blood and with the other issues," he sighed. "It looks bad."

Teyla's eyes filled with tears.

"Don't worry, he is tough."

Teyla couldn't help chuckle. "I know," she said swallowing the rest of her tears. Her emotions close to the surface.

"How did you finally find us?" she asked looking at her son in Ronon's arms.

Her son wailed cutting off her answer. Teyla had to chuckle when the volume made Ronon startle.

"I believe he is hungry," Teyla stated getting into a sitting position. It wasn't as easy as she had thought, her stomach was sore. Lindsey was at her side in a matter of moments, getting her comfortable.

She placed a pillow on her lap and Ronon handed the baby over.

"I'm going to check on things," Ronon said, quickly leaving Teyla to feed her son.

Teyla chuckled again, opening her pajama top. John must have bought the pajama for her as she knew it was new and she hadn't ordered it. She placed her son at her breast. It took a moment for him to actually start suckling. Teyla watched her son amazed, trailing her fingertip over his cheek.

She was sure she wouldn't get her answer anytime soon. Ronon was not going to answer her question. She wondered if John would.

For the first time she studied her son closely. She noted with satisfaction that his nose and ears looked like John's, especially the ears amused her. He had dark curly hair, but it looked like he had inherited his father's cowlicks. His eyes had not their final color, but the form resembled John's too.

She was proud to say he looked a lot like his father. With the knowledge that John was seriously injured, she thought about the last time she had seen him, she realized how pale he had been and now that she thought about it she remembered the pain in his eyes. She had been too happy to see him then and just took in every aspect of him, not thinking about what she saw.

"Ah, that's the reason Ronon fled," Jennifer's voice pulled Teyla from her reminiscing.

She looked up to see her friend's tired face. Teyla stiffened when she couldn't find the humor she had heard, in her face.

Jennifer settled on Teyla's bed, her heart heavy. She wished she had better news.

Jennifer watched Teyla nurse her son for a few minutes glad to see the two bonding and studied the little boy.

"He looks like his father," she stated into the silence.

"He does." Jennifer heard the smile in Teyla's voice. There was another moment of silence and the two women watched the baby fall asleep.

Teyla settled her son on her lap and closed her top, before settling her son on her shoulder to burp him.

"You are a natural," Jennifer said astounded.

Teyla chuckled, her gaze on her son.

"I helped with newborns all of my childhood. It was a good preparation. Though I must admit it is still unsettling when it is your own child. The feelings are overwhelming."

She finally looked up at her friend noting the tears in her friend's eyes.

"How bad is it?" she asked worried.

Jennifer looked at her for a moment and then took a deep breath.

"Teyla, I …," Jennifer broke off how could she do this? She had missed her friend so much.

The baby burped. Torren John, our son.

"I'm sorry Teyla; there is no easy way to say this." Teyla's face fell and her eyes started to tear up again.

"Ronon said it was bad," she stated.

"We had trouble stabilizing him. He had lost more blood than we had realized…"

"Please Jennifer; is he going to be alright?"

"He is very weak, but he is fighting. I can't promise you anything though."

"John will be alright," Teyla said looking at their son now resting in her arms, so much like his father. He had to be.

"He is a fighter," Jennifer agreed.

"When can I see him?"

"I want you to take another nap. When you wake I'll get you in a wheelchair and you two can visit."

"Thank you."

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XOXOXOXOXO

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John felt heavy, almost as if someone had buried him under sand. Though the weight was not crushing, he couldn't move either.

He was slightly confused and not sure how he had landed here. He tried to remember what had happened and where he was. His head was flooded with images, confusing him even more.

First he was in his quarters with Teyla, having dinner and then he was buried under a ton of debris. His midsection started to throb at that memory. With the pain more and more memories returned.

While some memories were fuzzy at best others were crystal clear. Like the day he and Teyla had finally agreed on a name for their son, but only after John had given in to Teyla and allowed her to use his first name as the second, or the day Carter had told him that Teyla had been abducted.

An alarm sounded next to his head, startling him. He managed to peel his eyes open long enough to see where he was. Relief flooded him as he realized he was actually in the Atlantis' infirmary. For a moment he had feared he was back in the remains of Michael's compound.

Even though he had just woken, he was ready to drop off again. He sensed someone hurrying to his side, but since he knew where he was he didn't care. He wanted to go back to sleep and when he woke again he wanted to see Teyla and their son.

He actually wanted to see them right now, but he probably had just regained consciousness from having surgery, so Keller probably wouldn't allow it. But the faster he got back to sleep, the faster he would be awake again and reunited with his family.

He felt a hand settle on his arm, but chose to ignore it. They could wait until he was awake enough to see his family.

John was sure he had actually managed to fall asleep, but suddenly he was awake again. A second hand had settled on his other arm; the touch so familiar that with every fiber of his being John knew it was Teyla.

He heard her voice calling him and his whole focus shifted just to her. He fought the tiredness he had readily accepted moments ago.

He fought hard, and after a few moments he won. He still needed a few tries, but finally his eyes stayed open and he found himself looking into the beautiful face of the woman he loved more than anything else in this world. Okay, that was not entirely true anymore as he loved his son just as much.

There were so many things he wanted to say to her, but when he opened his mouth, all that came out was a pained whimper. His midsection was on fire, and using any part of his body intensified that feeling.

"I'll give him something for the pain," John heard a distant voice. He became aware that his eyes had closed again, and that his hand clamped at the sheets under him. For a moment only pain existed in his world.

Teyla's soft grasp on his left hand shifted his focus back to her and he tried to push the pain away by concentrating on her hands, one hand clasping his, the other on his forehead, her soothing voice in his ear. He didn't realize when the pain meds kicked in, pulling him under again.

…

Teyla looked at Jennifer with worry. John had been so weak and in so much pain.

"It was to be expected. We will increase the dosage of his meds, but most importantly he finally woke up," Jennifer answered her unasked question.

"Why don't you go back to your son and rest a little?"

"I will wait some more."

"He is not going to wake anytime soon."

Teyla seemed to reconsider, but then agreed.

Jennifer understood her hesitation. It had been the first time John had woken since his surgery two day before. They all had been worried, but he had stayed stable since the surgery.

He would get better.

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XOXOXOXOXO

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John enjoyed the soft weight of his son on his chest. It was the first time Keller had allowed him to hold his son since the day he had been born, five days ago.

So here he was, laying on his back, his son sleeping on his bare chest. Keller didn't want John to put any strain on his mangled abdomen; if he wanted to hold his son it was this way or not at all. His IV free hand rested on his son's back.

Over the past day, his team and Keller had told him about their dramatic return. Though Rodney was still a little miffed about the whole relationship thing, he had come by several times. Ronon, on the other hand, had taken things in stride and congratulated John on his hiding skills.

John was still embarrassed that he had just blurted the truth out like that, but everyone had assured him that no one knew besides the ones that had been present.

His son shifted his head and John released a sigh of contentment. He felt guilty for having missed the first two days of his son's life almost entirely and only being half aware of the others, at least now he was more aware. Though he had to admit he felt extremely tired already again.

Keller had said it would take a while for his body to cope with the blood loss. She also was pretty pissed at him for not telling he was almost bleeding to death, but John had to admit that he had no recollection of anything but his son and Teyla.

He sighed once more, looking at his son. The little boy had managed to find his hand and was contently suckling on his little fingers that were curled into a fist, drooling on John's chest in the process, but John didn't mind.

His eyelids grew heavy, but John fought them, not willing to let go of his son just yet. He would also have to wake Teyla who slept in the chair next to him. John was glad she was catching up on some sleep, since at the moment he clearly was no help, something else to feel guilty about.

John needed to distract himself to keep awake, so he started to tell TJ, his new nickname for his son as Torren was just too long, what plans he had as soon as he was released to his quarters.

The fact that he and Teyla still had to outwardly live two different lives irked him to no end. He wondered who would follow Carter and hoped it wouldn't be Woolsey like Rodney's hologram had told him.

John looked at his son's head moving on his chest again.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, feeling a little lightheaded. Staying awake was becoming hard work and the heart monitor had already detected the faster growing heartbeat as John kept taxing his body to stay awake.

"It is alright, John. You can hold him again later, please sleep," he heard Teyla's soothing voice and felt her loosening his hold on the baby; for a moment he fought her, confused. When had he closed his eyes?

He wanted to tell her he was fine, but he suddenly felt dizzy and then the traitorous monitor set off an alarm. Before John knew what was going on, he was pushed into darkness. The last thing he heard was Teyla's panicked voice calling for help.

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XOXOXOXOXO

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"Relax, Teyla, we are here," Jennifer soothed her friend. The baby was clutched to her chest, crying. Jennifer moved over to John, checking the readouts. She opened the IV and Teyla could see the drip speed up.

"What's going on?"

"Sit down, Teyla," her friend commanded.

While Jennifer fussed around John, Teyla soothed her son, it didn't take long though as the boy had just been startled by the loud noises.

When Jennifer turned to her, Teyla asked again what had happened.

"My best guess is that he overdid it, trying to stay awake. I got here a few minutes ago and noticed him fighting to stay awake," she explained. "I wanted to give him five more minutes, but it looks like his body had other ideas. His blood pressure dropped. I just increased the flow of the IV to get his volume up."

"You will not allow him to hold Torren again?" Teyla asked worried.

"His vital signs actually got better while holding Torren, so I will allow it again."

"Thank you," Teyla said relieved, looking at her son. John had been so happy to have his son close. She knew he felt guilty for not being able to do more.

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XOXOXOXOXO

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A whole day passed before John woke again; he felt a lot better and much more awake and was glad to be allowed to hold his son again, though this time Teyla made sure she did not fall asleep.

"Sleep, John," she told him when he showed signs of being tired. She waited until he was deep under before taking Torren from his chest. She had asked Jennifer to move Torren's basin into the room as well, and so she settled her son next to his father.

"Hey, is everything alright in here?"

"Yes," Teyla answered, smiling at Jennifer.

"I have good news. It's time to move."

"Oh," Teyla tried to smile, but she didn't feel like sleeping in her quarters. Even sleeping in the room next to John's was not enough. She often stood up when Torren woke and checked on John too. It would be impossible to do that when she was home.

There was noise behind Jennifer and a second bed was wheeled into the room.

Teyla was confused. "You are not releasing me?"

"Oh, I am, but I thought you would prefer staying here with John," she said smiling. "He is getting better. He won't need to be monitored that closely anymore and my chances to keep him here are bigger when you are here too. He is still in no condition to move around or attempt to escape."

"My attempts are usually successful," John's sleep muffled voice came from the bed.

"Careful, Colonel," Jennifer said amused. "Or I'm tempted to put you in restraints."

John smirked, though his eyes were still closed. After a few moments his face relaxed and both women knew he had gone back to sleep.

…

For the next few days, John was just happy, he was allowed to actually hold his son, Teyla was sleeping in the bed next to his and his friends came to visit often.

However, the better he got, the more he grew impatient with his own recovery. He wanted to get home and sleep with Teyla next to him and not in the next bed. He wanted to really care for his son.

So, when Keller finally released him after ten days in the infirmary he couldn't believe how lucky he was.

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XOXOXOXOXO

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John sat on the bed, Teyla resting against his chest while nursing their son. His hands rested on her once again flat stomach.

Their secret was not that secret anymore and their friends had forgiven them for not telling them sooner. In a couple of weeks, the new commander would arrive and John wondered what to do.

For the first time ever, he had really thought about resigning and move back to Earth with his family, but deep down he knew he couldn't. He and Teyla had talked long about it and had agreed to try and resume their semisecret life here.

However, John also had decided he would care for his son and not only in the privacy of his quarters. He didn't care about rumors or what people thought. He would not allow his son to pay the price for his parent's decisions.

He thought about tomorrow. He had his final exam and hoped after three weeks Jennifer would allow him to resume his duties. At least light duties. John had to admit that he wasn't so keen on going off world anytime soon.

Rodney was happy in his lab and Ronon could join Lorne's team for the time being.

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XOXOXOXOXO

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Jennifer watched the little family go. John had recovered from his ordeal and she had cleared him for light duty for the time being. To her surprise he hadn't complained once. She also had checked Teyla and Torren again.

Everyone was doing well.

Teyla and Torren were healthy and didn't seem to be suffering any repercussions of their time being in Michael's grasp. John had come through his whole ordeal still a little weak, but getting better.

Seeing them happy together made her once more reevaluate her decision. She still thought it had been a mistake to let John go, but in the end it had been worth it, just barely though.

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Would like to hear what you think.