The detective had already known it would be a very long time before he could trust Raito. He'd been known as Kira for a year already and the thrill of the power had gotten to his head the first time he ever touched that Death Note, and so he did it over and over and over... until this point. It had to be addicting and somewhat like a drug. A drug he never thought would get him into trouble. He was killing countless criminals, and if he hadn't stopped him, it would have turned into countless innocent people. Did he feel no guilt? How could he sleep so peacefully at night, knowing he did evil things for his so-called "justice"?
L thought back to when Kira started killing people in prison. Did he not stop to think that maybe being in prison was worse than death? At least they had time to feel regret for their actions. If they just died on the spot, they wouldn't have time to think of what they'd done.
At the moment, L was sitting in a chair with his laptop by Raito's bed as he was slowly starting to wake up. He had a feeling that the boy would raise hell and demand to be let go, that he'd kill him soon enough and-blah, blah, blah. He didn't care to know what he wanted to do. For as long as he lived, he probably wouldn't have a choice in what he wanted to do. It would be what L and Quillish told him to or he'd stay tied up to the bed with no company other than to feed him and lead him to the bathroom.
Raito seemed dazed at first, as if he were still asleep even as his eyes opened. They had given him a powerful sedative after all, which was the reason for him sleeping for five entire days.
Then he groaned, blinking a few times as his eyes focused. His head turned to look out the window, seeing snow on the ground. He tried to move his hands, but realized they wouldn't come down to his sides and his head snapped up, looking up at the way the thick rope twisted into a complicated restraint.
Then his head turned again and he looked at L. He was sure that he would start screaming at him and trying to struggle out of the ropes, but he didn't. He just gave him a glare and set his jaw, his eyes narrowing so it had the full effect of Yagami Raito's "I'm-Going-To-Kill-You-The-Next-Chance-I-Get" glare. The only thing that did was amuse the famous detective and his lips even quirked up slightly, angering the teen even more.
"L..." He growled, not even releasing him from his death glare.
"Yes, Yagami-kun?" He asked calmly, tilting his head and raising his eyebrows very slightly.
Raito could have asked or demanded an assorted number of things. Such as Why am I here?, though that was obvious. He was wherever he was because he had been Kira, and finally admitted to it without directly saying it, and tried to run away. Another one was Where am I?
He could have also demanded to be let go, to tell L to get him out of those ropes, though that would lead to violence as he could see himself choking the life out of the man. He would have liked to say a number of things, including threats and what would happen when he DID get out, however; he settled for something simple, and it came out low enough for it to sound like a warning.
"Let me go." He said, not taking his tired eyes off of him.
L sighed, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, Yagami-kun... I cannot do that right now." He said sadly, when in fact he really had no remorse at all for keeping him there. "If you have any other requests, I will gladly listen to them and if I or Watari deem them appropriate enough, we may give whatever you want."
Raito seemed to seeth even more, turning his head away from him. He grumbled very inappropriate things, and L certainly wouldn't be able to do THAT to himself. It seemed rather painful.
"I see..." The detective said, shaking his head again. "Well, if you feel like changing your mind..." He said, standing up and walking towards the door, bringing his laptop with him. "Just call for one of us and we will keep you company. Oh, but dinner will be served soon. That is, if you're willing to eat it." He finished with a shrug, leaving the room and shutting the door behind him so that he did not have to hear anymore of Raito's cussing.
Quillish looked at him from the large kitchen when L plopped down on the couch, staring blankly at his laptop. Had he even done the right thing? What if Raito started to ask for death anyway? What if he never got better? What if he was wrong for once and he should have just given him up? His caretaker saw all of those thoughts on his face. He knew him too well to not see through that mask. He HAD raised him since he was a child, after all. He could see the conflict and confusion, something he didn't see that often.
He smiled a bit and brought out the man's snacks on a tray. There were little gummy treats and sugary pastries, only the kind he liked. He set it out on a table, looking down at him. "You're doubting yourself," he said, just as a comment, not a question.
L sighed once more, pushing his laptop aside so that he could reach for his treats, starting to stack them first. He just had to play with his food before he ate it. Quillish had always seen him do this, though it took him awhile to accept that this would never change. "Yes..." L admitted, nibbling on his thumb, looking at the ladder of swaying gummies on the table. "I've never given one criminal so many chances before... No, I've never given anyone so many chances before. It's not like me, is it?" He was more so talking to himself, but he knew that Quillish would gladly and quietly listen until he was done or until he wanted advice or a suggestion. "Kira has ruined many lives already. The justice he deserves is death. He doesn't deserve to continue breathing." He looked up at Quillish with a frown. "Does he?"
It had been so long since L had asked him something like that, and he wasn't sure he could give him the absolute truth-the unbiased truth. So he had to choose his words carefully. "I believe that... you are right. Kira deserved just that, but he's dead, isn't he?" He asked, his eyebrows raising just slightly. "Kira is gone, and all that is left is that boy in there. He's the only one that believes that he could rise up again. He is the only one that thinks Kira is still alive. Everyone else in the world thinks that he is dead. Although..." He paused, making L tilt his head curiously. "Only you and I, and those few men that saw what really happened know that Raito is alive. The rest of the world believes him to be dead with Kira."
L nodded, picking a gummy off of the stack and popped it into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully. He remembered Raito when he had been innocent enough at one point, and he wondered what had happened then. He wondered what had caused him to be more bright-eyed than ever, more patient with L. Well... perhaps not patient. He never would have gotten into those physical fights with him if he hadn't changed in someway. "I want to help him..." He said quietly, stabbing a pastry with a fork. Gooey jam came out and he smiled bitterly. "I truly want to do the right thing this time, and I do not want to fail. I don't want all of this fighting and planning to have gone up in smoke."
Quillish sighed patiently, looking down at him sadly. "Lawliet..." He said, sympathy in his voice. "You know that wasn't your fault." He said, recognizing the hint of regret in his voice, and by the words he used, he knew exactly what he was referring to.
"Hmm... Perhaps. But I don't want it to happen again. Raito was my only friend and I couldn't stop him from slipping. No matter what I did while he was incarcerated, or when he was with me that entire time. He still valued that power over my company."
"You do realize if he had never touched that notebook again, none of this would have happened." His caretaker said, watching him eating slowly.
L frowned again. "How do you know? Maybe he was just pretending this whole time..." He tried, though he knew that would be unlikely. Even Raito, as good of an actor as he was, would not choose to act like that, so innocent and truly determined to catch Kira.
"Hmm... Just a feeling." Quillish said with a small smile. "Call it intuition."
L gave him a flat look, but the older man knew there was a sarcastic remark on his tongue. A small smile was on the younger man's lips, almost invisible. "Right... intuition."
Quillish chuckled softly and he went back into the kitchen to finish their dinner. Even L had to eat real food sometimes, whether he liked it or not.
Though, with Quillish around, not like he had a choice.
"I'm not going to untie you, but if you'd just open your mouth, I can feed you." L said, crouching in a chair by Raito's bed.
Raito, stubborn as ever, kept his mouth shut tightly, still giving him that dirty look. That's all he ever seemed to wear on his face, and L was afraid that his face would stay like that. He'd change that in a few moments. If he did not comply, he wasn't going to beat around the bush. There was only one other way to get Raito eat.
He sighed, setting the plate down. "Yagami-kun... if you don't eat, Watari is going to pump nutrients in through your stomach. That is much less pleasant for you and your ridiculous amount of pride than simply letting me feed you. Please cooperate with me for today."
Raito's eyes widened slightly, looking more shocked than scared at that painful possibility. He growled, giving him another hateful look. L took that as permission that he could feed him, but that he should go jump off a cliff.
Or something to that extent.
L fed him slowly, not understand how he could enjoy such a dry, salty food. Rice had no taste, chicken was too dry, steak was too rough... He ate meat when he could, of course (when Watari forced him to or else he would take his laptop when he wasn't looking and hide it until he caved, and no sweets for Lawliet), but he preferred not to.
When he was done, Raito turned his head away from him, glowering out the window. He was going to be as stubborn and prideful as he could without getting his stomach pumped. He'd make L regret keeping him here somehow... He almost-almost-rathered death over this. He'd have to spend the rest of his life with them... He wasn't even twenty yet. That thought made him shudder and he decided he would eventually slip out of the ropes and make an escape for the window.
"Sulking like that isn't good for you, Yagami-kun." L said, standing up. "It will make lines on your face. You woudln't want that, would you?" He asked, sounding as if he were mocking him. "I hope you realize that if you just behave yourself, I will untie you and let you walk freely through the house. Even knowing that, you aren't going to cooperate though, are you?" He waited for an answer, but he didn't get one. The teen just continued to glare and ignore him. L shook his head. "Suit yourself."
He walked over to the doorway before looking back at him again. "I would feel bad for you... if you weren't such a monster." With that, he shut off the light and closed the door, leaving him to Raito's growing hate of the detective... and even himself.