In the words of that great philosopher*, I own nothing, NO-THING.

Thank you Wilona Riva, Katyuana, and Silver-09 for reviewing. It will always be appreciated, and I'll see what I can do.*

. . .

"Uh, oh", Jackie gulps.

Yeah, BIG uh, oh. Pitch is coming up to them fast, with a very unnerving gleam in his eye. With more than a few doubts, the frost child and ex-Pooka get ready for a fight, especially since they don't have the other Guardians handy, are in unfamiliar forms, and are most likely out numbered 6:1. These facts are not doing their morale any favors.

"You cut right, I'll cut left. We'll blast our way through the lines, and head straight to Pitch. He's out biggest problem, and the puppeteer of this army."

Jack nods, instantly complying. Fearlings go flying, while others become part of a huge glacier. Unfortunately, most of them seem to glide right through the attacks. This worries Bunny more than he would like to say, but doesn't have the time to stop and think. His growling in frustration makes him even more annoyed. Those 'growls' sound like a cross between gargling and snoring! This is humiliating, Frostbite better not have heard that. . .

Bunnymund's mental grumbling is cut off by almost getting a stiff kick in the ribs. He recovers easily, but puzzled. Aster can swear he HAD been kicked, oh, never mind. He can grumble later, right now he has a job to do! Pitch's left line is starting to look like Swiss cheese . . . only without the cheese.

. . .

Jackie, still a bit nervous, is pretty much sticking to ninja tactics. She's pelting the ranks with snow and ice (mostly snow), and flying straight at Pitch. She's getting more confident, and is starting to develop signs of having fun. You know the symptoms, smiling, laughing (or in her case, giggling), a bit of trash talk here and there.

"I can see you despite your (ha!) 'snow-screen', frost child." Excuse me, until now, she was showing signs of having fun.

"Let down your puny 'shield'! A coward fights from the shadows!* It will do you no good anyways. Your fear guides me straight to you! You worry about Jamie, you fear for your 'comrades' safety, but most of all, you are scared for your own skin! Thanks to your fear, my power is rapidly growing, I thank you for it!"

Jackie's taken aback. Not by fear, or Pitch's tauntings, but by how wrong he is. Frosty had put Jamie out of her mind at the start of the fight, and she's more concerned with Pitch than herself right now. Yeah, she's a bit afraid for the others, but knows they can take care of themselves just fine. Something is up with Pitch, but what?

. . .

After seeing the look of pure . . . surprise on Jackie's face, Bunny is starting to piece things together. He only heard the last part of Pitch's little speech, but can plainly see how wrong he is. Hold the phone, it all makes sense!

Pitch Black can make illusions, it's practically his business. At times, he can even make them into reality. All he has to do is put an illusion on Jackie, one that wouldn't be complicated enough to change her powers, and presto! You have five terrified Guardians, wondering whose going to be picked off next, subsequently feeding Pitch's power! That's why Jackie's gender had only been changed but Sandy ended up as a lamp! Not bad Pitch, maybe you're more creative after all.

"OI! FROSTBITE! It's just one of Pitch's tricks! 'Is 'powers' are all imaginary! Most a' these fearlings are fakes and that hack who calls 'imself the Boogeyman is as fake as they are! None a' us 'ave changed inta nothin'! TAKE HIM OUT NOW!" Right on cue, Bunny's illusion disintegrates into a pile of black dust.

The reestablished Pooka takes a un-Bunnymund like hop for joy, and quickly strips. He does look awful silly in those human clothes, there's no doubt about that.

Jackie's jaw takes a nosedive, her (or rather his) illusion finally melting . . . leaving Jack Overland Frost wearing a skirt, and consequently giving Bunny enough ammunition to last another 300 years. *Snap!* Did I mention that in all that clothing, Bunnymund also hid a camera? Better luck next time, Frosty.

To cover his embarrassment, Jack lets out a wave of ice. Most of the cavern's floor is covered with it (to Bunny's chagrin), but Pitch manages to dodge the attack. He sends a (presumably) real gang of fearlings after . . . Bunny, actually. He knows Jack's weakness for his new found family, and isn't afraid to flaunt it.

While the winter spirit is tied up helping the Guardian of Hope, Pitch sneaks up behind him.* Frost doesn't notice, until it's too late. Pitch is right behind him, and has Jack smack in the center of a cloud of sand. It solidifies, and traps Frostbite up to his neck, which Pitch soon has his hands around. Bunny glowers down below, unable to do anything. He can't even smash the fearlings, what if Pitch broke Jack's neck in turn?!

"Any last words, frost child?"

"Yeah-good night!"

Jack hardly gets out his last syllable, when an absolutely furious reindeer slams into Pitch. This is extraordinary, considering the two are more than fifty feet in the air. North is caught by Sandy's dreamsand, and seems to be foaming at the mouth. Note to self, never rile up a Russian reindeer.

This little escapade ends with Jack being crushed in a hug, Bunny making the most of the skirt business, Sandy committing himself to learn reindeer, and North bribing the occupants of the Santoff Claussen to ''forgetting'' the matter of his being turned into a reindeer. (Tooth is too preoccupied with the mini fairies' welcome home party to make a resolution.) "What about Pitch?" you ask? He's been humiliated enough for one evening. He'll be back . . . sometime next summer. . .

-End

. . .

That philosopher being Schultz, from Hogan's Heros.*

Speaking of doing, I'll be changing Jack's name to something more feminine, as Katyuana suggested. Using ''she'' and ''her'' to go along with ''Jack'' does sound a little strange, now doesn't it? Unfortunately, that isn't very much of a compromise, since this is the last chapter.**

That certainly is the pot calling the kettle black. ***

I could have sworn that was a coward's tactic . . .****