A/N: Again, I don't own Halo. This is from the cutscenes and dialogue! But everything else is mine! Enjoy!
He expected to feel some sort of pain, but there was nothing. Everything was completely blank. He could feel nothing, see nothing, hear nothing… But John still had his thoughts.
Although he should've felt empty, it was seemingly the opposite. His being, if there even was one, was filled with some sort of emotion he couldn't quite comprehend. He had done the right thing. For all of humanity…
For her.
The Master Chief's heart swelled in his chest at the glorious thought. Suddenly, his mind screeched to a halt. If he were dead, he certainly shouldn't be able to feel anything.
A fraction of a second later, every tangible pain wracked every corner of the Spartan's body, and he became aware that he was still very much alive. Air tore through his raw lungs, and he could feel several ribs pop in and out of place at the forceful breath. John realized he could open his eyes, and when he did, a blinding light that seemed to explode from nowhere streamed into his open vision. No other noise registered in the chief's ears but the sound of his own ragged breathing. He also recognized that he was crouching down, which seemed impossible since he couldn't feel his legs at the moment.
After contemplating the situation and reorganizing for the next move, he became eerily aware of something that was not there. An immediate and uncharacteristic pool of panic twisted in his gut and began eating at the vulnerable and broken parts of his body. Where was the voice that always helped him assess the situation for a Plan B?
Where was Cortana?
He didn't realize at first that he was searching for her voice to ask him if he were still alive, or what their next plan of action would be. He was expecting to hear her calculating, and explaining as soon as his ears recognized sound. But there was only silence.
"Cortana." He rose up. He looked around. Silence. "Cortana, do you read?" he insisted, keeping most of the panic out of his voice. "Cortana, come in!"
He turned around suddenly, when his eyes fell upon her. Relief washed through him like warm water, defrosting his frozen heart. She was walking toward him, contemplating him. John was mesmerized at first, and thankful that his helmet kept her from seeing how he was gawking at her. She was fully human sized. He took a few hesitant steps toward her, extending an arm. He wanted to reach out and touch her.
"How…?"
"Oh, I'm the strangest thing you've seen all day?" she smirked. The Spartan retracted the earlier thought about his helmet. John wished she could see the smile that spread across his features, ear to ear. But her face quickly fell. As did his.
"But if we're here…"
"It worked," she said as if she were speaking to herself. She smiled. "You did it... Just like you always do…" There was a hint of admiration to her voice mixed with a brokenness he had never heard from his partner. He glanced around and noticed where they were. He started formulating an escape plan.
"So how do we get out of here?" There was a few moment's silence before he looked at her.
"I'm not coming with you this time." He stared at her blankly. The words didn't register in his mind. He mulled them over in his head, searching for their meaning.
"What?" It was more of a statement than a question. After everything they've accomplished together, she says she's not coming with him this time?
"Most of me is down there…" She admitted quietly. Her head gestured to somewhere below them. "I only held enough back to get you off the ship…" she continued weakly.
"No, that's not- We go together." Desperation was creeping back into him.
"It's already done…" Cortana whispers faintly. The breath was knocked out of him. Nothing made sense. Thoughts were jumbled words made of symbols, noise, syntax, and codes that lacked any absolute definition. He could only understand that he was a Spartan and SHE was HIS partner. They worked together. She must have been shaken from the previously violent chain of events.
"I am NOT leaving you here." Perhaps a more forceful statement would shake her out of whatever state she was in.
"John…" It was nothing more than a frail whisper, a desperate sound with a power to make his heart crack beneath his impenetrable armor. His name on her lips made the Spartan shiver. Her voice seems to caress his name with a color and beauty that was unfamiliar to his soldier's brain. It struck a hidden nerve inside of him, igniting a fire. He wished that she would be the only one to speak his name for the rest of his torturous life.
She completed the gap between them, and her hand reached out for him. He held his breath, although she could not hear it hitch. Her hand made contact with his shoulder, and the place where their bodies touched sparked a blue glow. Never had he wished so desperately to be free of the clinking metal that constantly trapped him within himself. It no longer protected him, but just held his rusted and collapsing frame together.
Although he could not feel her, he pretended. He pretended it felt wonderful. She let out a shaky breath while the Spartan still held his in his chest. To the naked eye, he looked unmoved.
Her fingers lightly trailed down his armor perhaps an inch, and he heard her almost cry. "I've waited so long to do that…" He quietly let out his breath. When he glanced at Cortana, her eyes were closed. He suddenly felt convicted. This was his fault. If he hadn't left her unattended for years, if only he had known that the rampancy would tear her apart, he could've done something different. He would've done something different.
"It was my job to take care of you."
"We were supposed to take care of each other," she responded with a quiet, sad smile. "And we did," she added, her voice rising as if she were close to tears. Every mission, she was there. Guiding him, helping him, understanding… Although John 117 was supposed to be one of the miracles for mankind, he was a machine. He had been stripped of his humanity long ago as a child. But now, as he stood facing his partner, he felt more human than he had ever remembered. He was lost for words. He felt…
He felt vulnerable.
"Cortana…" he said more quietly. "Please." What else could he do but beg? He was beginning to realize that there was something more between them, which was hard to register because he wasn't made for this. But the thought pushed its way forcefully through his brain, commanding that he listen. John was sure that this wasn't in Halsey's plan when she decided to make him a Spartan. He was made to be only a soldier. But an unintended factor seemed to bypass that intended outcome.
Cortana's mouth opened, as if she were about to say something. But her hand slipped away from the Master Chief's shoulder, leaving his body alone in it's cage of armor. She began to back away. John's heart was pulsing in his chest, and he bit back the desire to run after her. Surely, if she could touch him without reaching through him, he could take her in his arms, and keep her from running.
"Wait." The pathetic statement was all the Spartan could manage as he watched Cortana slipping away from him. Suddenly, John wanted to say something. He was programmed to be courageous and intentional, but the two characteristics were yearning inside of him to serve a purpose that had nothing to with an assigned mission. He tried to slow down everything, his thoughts, losing Cortana... Everything. His tongue sticks to the roof of his mouth, but his lips part to form the three words that seemed like the most familiar of thoughts, ideas, and concrete abstractions that he had never known.
"Welcome home, John…" Before he could let out a breath, she had interrupted. That was the last thing he heard Cortana say to him before she disappeared into nothingness. He only stood there, staring at her until she disappeared, and even staring for a while at the spot where she used to be. The barrier began to disintegrate around him, but he failed to notice it. He was still frozen; frozen with so much human inside of him that his whole body locked up. Insufferable moments passed before he looked around to see pieces of the Didact's ship crashing around him. The last thing John registered was the UNSC Infinity opening up the ship to let the drifting and lost Spartan into its hollowed embrace.