Chapter Four: Beatrix

Things were getting out of control and I didn't like the way it made me feel. Impatient, I shoved a hand through my mass of dark hair and snorted out a breath. Completely out of hand. I mean, he was old! Well, at least ten years older than me, and that would make him thirty two! I had never felt so much lust and desire for somebody so quickly in my entire life.

What the hell was wrong with me?

He couldn't know. Not yet. Nobody could. Hell, I couldn't even properly get it myself.

"Bella." A voice boomed. "You are back so soon. Care to partake in our festivities this evening?"

I spun on my heel and glared at my father, who stood in her regal robes with his crown atop of his head. With his big right hand he was gesturing grandly to the line of chained up prisoners, each with their own signs of beatings, who shivered and shook as my eyes fell upon them. I watched them all carefully, and those who didn't avoid my eyes shook with fright.

"Both Wesen and mortal, daddy? My, we must be desperate." My tone had an acidic bite to it. Even I could hear it. My father said nothing, staring impassively at me.

I rolled my eyes and moved them away from the prisoners who slumped with relief.

"No, thanks. I've got to go to the Grimms house, get things set up. Don't want him thinking for himself now. I think I've got him at his most vulnerable."

And he's got me when I'm most weak and vulnerable. I added silently, but didn't say it aloud.

"I don't like you doing this, Bellatrixia." My father snapped. "I don't like it at all."

My eyes shot to him and I tossed my head defiantly.

"I'm sorry, I must've missed the moment I asked for your opinion." I snapped at him. "You no longer control me, father. You cannot dictate to me what I do or don't do. You gave up that right when you sold me like I was some common slave."

"Bellatrixia, I think that is a bit harsh." His voice boomed and resonated with command but I ignored it. Inside, he was just a weak old fool. "I did not sell you—"

"Ha!" I barked out a laugh, cutting him off. "What would you call it? And my name is not Bellatrixia. Its Beatrix. I changed that when you sold me as well. Bellatrixia is the name of a princess. You made it quite clear that I am not."

We were silent for a long time, and I paused to admire the room. It was grand and regal, and off looking, much like my family and the rest of the palace. It was covered in gold and silver, and objects seemed to randomly glitter. That used to enchant me as a child. Back when everything was normal. Back when I didn't have to fight for survival. Back when I was me.

"You've become cold." My father observed in a sad voice. "Hard."

I looked at him mutely for a moment, before regally inclining my head.

"You try being sold to those people." I shrugged. "Try keeping your conscience and your mortality whilst you live with them. You can't. Its an impossibility. Loose your mortality and soul and you live. Keep it and you die. Really, daddy, its that simple."

His eyes seemed to be glistening as though they were tearful. I didn't feel any stirring of emotion inside of me. Not when I had when I had felt the Grimm being in such pain. Not when I had felt him close to me. Then, my mortality had returned. I had to remember to keep that in check. I had people to protect, and being all mushy gushy wasn't going to help them.

"We all miss you." Father started. "All of us, even the servants and slaves. Your siblings cry for you most nights."

Now that pricked my interest. I glanced at the family portrait. The one they had had made just before I had left. I noticed there were no pictures of any new additions anywhere in the palace.

"Do the younger ones even remember me?" I murmured.

Did I care if they did?

"Of course they remember you." My father rushed to reassure me. "Who could forget you?"

One of the prisoners collapsed, and a servant ran to pick them up. We were not unkind. We understood they were tired and exhausted. Soon, I was sure, they would be free.

My father swallowed, and I knew what was coming. I steeled myself.

"Please come home, darling." He begged, and now the tears were out in full force. "We all miss you. You are doing dangerous work. Working with a Grimm, for heavens sake! Why, thats bound to get you killed!"

I smiled grimly at him.

"Thats kind of the idea."

He ignored my provocative comment.

"Your mother aches for you. She has not spoken to me since you left except to shout at me, and I have not been within fifteen yards of her since you left either."

I made a face at him.

"Aw, poor baby. No naughty fun for you. What a shame. You must be so hurt." I felt my eyes turn red, then black. "You know what really hurts? Waking up in the middle of the night, being dragged out out your home by people you don't know whilst your father looks on. What hurts is being thrown in a cold cell aged just sixteen and tortured for days on end whilst they wait for you to come into your powers. What hurts is being raped" I screamed the word. "whilst knowing your father sold you too this hell. That what hurts, daddy. You don't know the meaning of the word."

His eyes widened, and his fists clenched.

"I didn't know they raped you." He admitted quietly.

I let out a snort of quiet laughter.

"Oh, I wasn't raped. Sure, I had to give the odd blow job or hand job, let them feel me up once in a while but no, I wasn't raped. Somebody else of our acquaintance was though. I bet you can guess who." I stared at him coldly.

He didn't reply, and I shook my head in disgust at him.

"You're pathetic."

I didn't know why I still came to these things. I didn't know why I still felt the urge to see him.

I slowly turned on my heel and started for the door. My feet clipped nicely against the tiled floor.

"I'm so sorry!" He suddenly cried out, and there was a crack in his voice. "I didn't mean it to happen, I'm so sorry! Please forgive me!" He was crying really hard now, and I heard the thump as his knees hit the floor. "Please. I miss you. I'm so sorry!"

There was a pause as I reached the doors and he waited to see what I would do. I carried on without hesitation.

"I think you're mistaking me for somebody who cares."

-0-

When I arrived at the Grimms place, it was later then I'd thought and he was fast asleep in his bed. He looked so peaceful. So harmless. For a moment, I wished I didn't know better.

I slung my small rucksack of things into the guest room, fixed myself a sandwich and some crisps (I think American's called them chips?), and drunk a glass of water before feeling calm enough to look at myself in the mirror. There my eyes were, a nice, calming royal blue.

I crept upstairs and peeked in on the Grimm. Still very much asleep. Thank god he wasn't a snorer. I don't think my sensitive ears could've stood it.

As I got changed for bed, I noticed my overly fat body in the full length mirror, and realized my eyes had lightened from a royal blue to a blue that was so light it was almost white. A tear trickled down my face and I sniffled. Glancing around, I closed the bedroom door and locked it. I lay down on the bed, snuggling into the covers and wrapping them like a cocoon around my body. I buried my head in my pillow. And sobbed my heart out until I had exhausted myself to the point of sleep. When I woke up my face was still wet and stiff from the salty tears, and they were still trickling down my cheeks. I could hear the Grimm moving around downstairs and I desperately wanted to go down there, hug him, seek some comfort from him. I knew he could give me comfort. But I didn't.

How pathetic was I?

Very slowly, I allowed myself to roll over and stare up at the ceiling. He probably had no idea I was even in the house yet. My tears eventually stopped. I felt my strength come back to me.

My phone vibrated on the side desk and flashed at me twice. I didn't want to pick it up, but I knew I'd have to eventually.

"Hello?" I picked up the phone.

"Hello, Beatrix." The voice was low and slow, deep and terrifying.

I sighed and scraped a hand down my weary face.

"Wassup boss?"

"I see you have started living with the Grimm. Well, work starts today. He's going be called in on a homicide. You are going to be going in with him. I have already confirmed it with Renard."

"Do I have any choice in the matter?"

"Not unless you have a fond wish to die."

"Gotcha. Gonna go on a homicide with the crazy, perverted Grimm. Fun times. Let the party go on."

The phone droned as they put the phone down on me and I sighed wearily. Sitting upright and swingingly my legs out of the bed, I went to the door, unlocked it and stuck my head out of it.

"Get ready, Grimm, somebody's died and this time it ain't my fault!" I yelled down the stairs. "And we've gotta go solve it, buddy boy!"