[Author's Note]

I come bearing a chapter! It's full of interaction! It didn't hate me like Chapter 2 did! Yay!

Warning: Updates may start coming slower after August 20th, because I start school. I'll try though, I promise! I also have to alternate chapters of this with chapters of Enigma for my LeeGaa fans, because YOUTH IS DANGEROUS.

Anywho, THANK YOU, GUYS, for your awesome support. Your reviews give me great joy. You're the best!

I hope you enjoy this chapter. Anyone that doesn't review goes to Sound Research Facility, doctor's orders! Because reading and NOT reviewing is a degree of insanity that Sasori cannot handle.

Enjoy!

So Help Me, Freud — Chapter Three

"He that has eyes to see and ears to hear may convince himself that no mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips; betrayal oozes out of him at every pore." —Sigmund Freud

Sasori stared in horror as the blonde walked in and sat down in the cushy chair across from him. He was vaguely aware that he hadn't blinked in over a minute, and to be honest, he wasn't sure he had taken a breath either.

'This is not happening.' he thought to himself.

But oh fuck it is.

Sasori swallowed the lump in his throat, forcing a smile on his face.

"H-hey, Deidara." he stammered. Maybe the boy would be too ADHD to notice.

"Danna, you're acting weird, un."

Fuck.

The blonde teen got up from his seat, making his way to the doctor's desk and leaning down to look the redhead in the eye.

"Danna?"

Sasori's face was frozen in a wide grin, shaking with nervous laughter. His left eye was twitching as Deidara leaned down to look at him, and he surely looked crazy.

"Danna." Deidara repeated, his tone taking a turn for serious. He moved his head even closer to the doctor's, seeming as if he thought he could read the redhead's mind if he just got close enough. His hair brushed against the doctor's nose and Sasori thought he was going to die.

Don't smell his hair.
Don't smell his hair.
His eyes are so blue...
No, don't look at his eyes.
Is that vetyver?
No. Don't smell anything.
Is he wearing cologne?
DON'T SMELL ANYTHING.
What a pretty shade of blue...

"I'm fine." Sasori lied through gritted teeth, pulling himself out of his mental hell for the third time that day. Deidara didn't buy it, crossing his arms and raising a blonde eyebrow.

"No, really." he insisted, nodding with a grin. The teen shrugged his shoulders and walked back to his seat.

"Whatever, Danna. But you don't smile like that."

Sasori ignored that last part. An awkward silence fell between them.

"So.." the redhead said at last. "What's going on? Did we have an appointment today? I could've sworn I was supposed to see you on Wednesday—"

The blonde shook his head, a grin spreading across his beautiful face.

'Stop it.' Sasori scolded himself.

Deidara's golden hair flipped around as the teen hopped in his seat, quickly becoming a mess. Any concerns he had seemed to be forgotten, and he looked very excited. Sasori narrowed his eyes, finally slipping into his normal state of mind.

"Stop bouncing. You're being a spaz." he said coolly. The teen immediately sat up straight and still, but a goofy grin was still plastered on his face.

"Sorry Danna, un! I'm just so excited!" It looked as if it pained himnotto bounce.

The doctor gave him an exasperated look. The kid had so much energy; it was exhausting. But it was endearing somehow.

Cut it out.

"Well?" he prodded. "What's going on?"

Deidara grinned wider.

"I got a new place, un!" he exclaimed. His speech got worse when he got excited.

Sasori raised a rusty eyebrow. "You're not living with Ōnoki anymore?"

The blonde shook his head.

"No! I have a new roommate!"

The doctor's mouth pulled into a slight smile.
Ōnoki was an old man that Deidara had been living with as a tenant, and from what Sasori heard at sessions, he was a real dick. He'd cared nothing for Deidara's sculptures, said that the boy was a criminal, and that he was wasting his life. The man's words really bothered the teen —but Deidara wouldn't let you know that. The blonde never even told Sasori.

But Sasori could tell. He hated Ōnoki. He was glad he was out of Deidara's life.

"That's good." the redhead nodded. "Who is it?"

The doctor must have zoned out for moment when he was thinking about the teen's last home, because when he spoke, the blonde nearly jumped out of his skin. He appeared to have been preoccupied by counting the vertical threads in the woven cover of his chair.

"Dann-un!" he shouted, slurring his honorific with his impediment. He gave a wide-eyed glare at the psychologist. How adorable.

Stop. It. Now.

Sasori clenched his eyes shut and opened them again, as if his thoughts were a speck of dust clouding his vision.

"Well?" he said, repeating his question. "Who is it?"

Deidara instantly went back to his bouncy, over-excited self.

"He's a boy that attends the college I want to go to, he's pretty nice, un, and he doesn't mind my personality at all, un! He's kinda kiddish, and he's got dark hair, and —well, actually scratch that one bit; he's older than me...doesn't act like it, but he is... He's in the drama club! He's so goddamn flitty though, I swear, I think he can disappear into thin air—"

"DEIDARA."

The blonde stopped rambling on about his roommate when the doctor interrupted him, sitting up straight and wide-eyed like a child put in his place. Sasori's eye was twitching again, but this time, it wasn't out of his character. He waited for a moment before continuing, allowing Deidara time to calm down. He'd learned that time was necessary. Mandatory, actually.

"Dei." he breathed, biting his lower lip in frustration. He was supporting his head on his knuckles, and his dusty brown eyes were closed. "You know I don't like waiting. What's hisname?"

"Oh." Deidara said plainly, his expression becoming something only describable as 'hmpf'. "His name's Tobi, hn."

Sasori silently noted that the teen was mixing his tics.

"Tobi." he affirmed, eliciting a nod from the blonde. That sounded familiar, but then again, it wasn't an uncommon name. He probably had at least four different patients whose name could be shortened to that. "How long have you lived with him? Do you get along?"

Deidara nodded again, grinning. "I told you, he likes me fine, un! He calls me Deidara-senpai!"

The redhead decided to ignore the fact that Deidara hadn't said anything about how he felt about his roommate, instead focusing on the teen's inability to process more than one question at a time.

"How long have you been living there?" he repeated.

"Oh, un! I just moved in this morning! I mean, I know my appointment's in two days, un, but I couldn't wait to tell you! I didn't even eat breakfast!" The blonde's hair was a mess from all of the bouncing and hopping he'd been doing. Sasori smiled.

He chose me over breakfast.

The doctor mentally slapped himself, and the two continued talking, slipping into a rhythm that was only interrupted by his super-ego correcting his id. A lot was said before Sasori noticed the clock on his wall, and most of it was in regards to Deidara's new living arrangements.

"CUUUUCCCCKOOO!"

Sasori had never intended on owning a cuckoo clock, but nowadays he didn't question it; it helped him stay on time.

'And it was from Deidara.' added the id as the doctor stared up at the bird of the clock.

The clock had been a gift from Deidara —kind of. The therapist had found it —along with a mess of ashes and shrapnel— when he walked into his office on Christmas morning. It turned out that the blonde had stolen his clock (by blowing up the lock), modified it, and put it back over the weekend.
Sasori gave him a key to the office in return.

Deidara smiled up at his handiwork.

"I'm glad you use it, Danna."

Sasori laughed.

"I'm glad you don't blow up locks anymore." he answered. "But we can't talk now; I have an appointment in fifteen minutes."

Deidara nodded, standing up. "I should probably be going anyway; Tobi'll be back for lunch, un."

"Okay."

The redhead narrowed his eyes in a playful sneer.

"Don't fall in love with him." he joked, saying the line he said whenever the teen got a new roommate. His id was serious though.

Deidara rolled his eyes from the doorway, looking back at his doctor.

"Come on, Danna." he laughed, waving. "I'm not gay."

[Author's Note]

Do not fret, SasoDei fans! It'll be okay!

The 'super-ego' and the 'id' are references to Freudian psychology. Wikipedia will explain for me:

"Id, ego and super-ego are the three parts of the psychic apparatus defined in Sigmund Freud's structural model of the psyche; they are the three theoretical constructs in terms of whose activity and interaction mental life is described. According to this model of the psyche, the id is the set of uncoordinated instinctual trends; the ego is the organized, realistic part; and the super-ego plays the critical and moralizing role."

Here's the music I wrote to this time:

First bit (and something in the middle):

[Die Another Day — Madonna (her again!)]

Most of the middle:

[Over and Over — Three Days Grace] Thank you, Akatsuki Annabell-YAOI ROCKS, for this wonderful song! Really suits Sasori's position!

All the rest:

[I Think I'm Paranoid — Garbage] The first few lyrics is Sasori's current opinion of Tobi.

But anyways, thanks for reading! I'm thinking of making the next chapter from Deidara's POV. What do you think?

Review or your locks get blown up!