Click

Deb paces the living room, anxiously waiting. Jesus fuck, she'd been so stupid! Why hadn't she just called him after they'd... Or talked to him at the office. It made her angry, to be in this situation. She had definitely fucked herself into a corner now. I mean, there was no taking it back now, right? She had been wracking her brain all weekend trying to figure out what to do. Wondering why Dexter hadn't shown up at her door and talked to her, had he regretted it? Ughh fuck balls. These are the moments she would most likely run to Dex to, and ask him to reassure her that it would all be ok, but she couldn't now. Not with him being the problem. Well, not problem but. Ughh fuck.

She finally took a seat on the couch and massaged her temples. She had to unwind her thoughts, how did she expect Dexter to understand any of this is if she fucking couldn't? She loves him. Yes. There's no denying that. Being with him that night had been so... great, relieving actually. He had accepted her. He could have denied her, but he didn't, he could have. But instead he had kissed away her worries and taken her. Loved her, all of her. She smiled at the memory.

If only Harry could see them now.

"Oh god." She grunted as she got up to answer the knock at the door.

"Hey."

Deb looks conflicted, I've seen that look before. The sad, apologetic smile that she wears when she wants to talk about something big but she's scared to burden me with the new information. I know her so well, and yet she has become so new to me. How long has she been in love with me? And why?

I can see her hesitating at the door, wanting to come closer and not really knowing where we stand. I guess this should be me making the first move. I reach out for her and hug her. She immediately reciprocates and I know she feels safe. I should have done this earlier, reassured her that we are still ok. Knowing Deb, the uncertainty was probably killing her.

"I'm sorry I haven't come to you sooner Dex, I just... for the first time ever I have absolutely no one to go to, and I wanted to give you your space so that you could try to understand everything too." She pulls away and looks at me. "I'm just so confused, you know?"

"I know." I nodded.

Her hand runs through her hair in frustration and she looks towards the floor, embarrassed.

"It's just so fucked up Dex!"

"It's not! I don't think it is, at least it wouldn't be if you stopped calling it that." She steps back and looks at me for a moment, evaluating my honesty. Checking, to see if I'm lying. I don't feel like I'm lying.

"Deb, for as long as I can remember you have been there for me. I have been there for you. I will always protect you..."

"Jesus Dexter, we fucked. Please stop talking like my brother."

"This has nothing to do with being your brother. I would never want to hurt you. This is just another step for us Deb."

She sat down on the sofa, her head between her hands. Wasn't that night what she had wanted? She had poured her heart out to me. Taken Deb, my sister and locked her out of the room as Debra Morgan, this new woman sucked and bit at my lips. That woman was a different person than my sister, where was she now? Probably drowning in Debs guilt ridden subconscious fighting to get out, to become the driver instead of just an impotent, suppressed dark passenger.

"I'm not your brother Deb. Not really anyway" My words seem to relax her, ease her shame.

"If you want to forget what happened, that's..."

"I don't." The woman replies.

"I just want you to know that I'm ok with whatever you choose."

Dexter, the loving brother speaks up, giving her an escape route if she needs it. I can't manipulate her emotions for me. I can't be that dark.

I reach for her hand and it lays in mine. She watches them intertwine on her lap and smiles. I make her happy.

"What do you think dad would have said about this?"

Her expression clouded again, as her thumb drew circles on my palm. It's incredible how Harry could haunt us both so long after his death. He'd broken us. If he had maybe paid more attention to Deb growing up she would have never fallen for a monster. He'd wasted precious time playing and denied Deb the love she deserved.

"He'd be disgusted. You deserve so much more."

Debra had always been the perfect child. She was smart and loyal, innocent and naive. All our childhood she would chase after me in search of attention - from Harry. Had he perhaps shown her what love was she wouldn't accept so little. She wouldn't accept me. But Harry had failed as a father, and so now, here we sit. The perfect daughter neglected, and broken beyond repair with the monster Harry had tirelessly worked upon our whole lives to create.

She shook her head and looked at me in disbelief before she kissed me. Hard, like before, trying to make me take the words back. Her hands made their way to my chest where she held on for support as she maneuvered herself above me, straddling me between her legs. Her hard kiss became calm, elongated pecks, on my cheeks and neck before she hugged me tight and dug her face under my chin.

"Fuck you Dex. Don't ever say shit like that again. Do you hear me? I don't need 'much more' I just want you ok?"

She pulled back momentarily to look at me, and to talk with her hands like she so often did when she got passionate about her conversation. "I mean, god! Who else would put up with all my shit but you? You're the only one that knows me, that gets me Dex. Don't ever put yourself down like that. I wont fucking allow it. "

"Okay." I replied, not really knowing what to say.

She looked at me. Into me, and smiled before she kissed me again. This time it was soft, and gentle. She drew it out, playing with our lips. With the sensation of making time stop just for us. She was certain now, that I understood. That I wouldn't leave, or jump once her lips left mine. I raised my unresponsive hands off the couch willing them to rest on her legs, and slowly inch their way up her waist where I wrapped my arms around her. There I held her against me, reveling in the sensation of being accepted. She pulled at my lip with her teeth and laughed, holding her forehead against mine.

"We're some sick fucks Dex."

"Stop saying that!" I smiled, allowing myself to play with her. I pulled her in closer and kissed her jaw. She ended up hugging me again, resting her head on my shoulder. She sighed.

"You're right, it's not that bad." Atta girl, I'd always been good at comforting her. Her head popped up and she got right back to business. "I'm glad all this awkward shit is done though, cuz now we can get down to finding one real sick fuck. Did you find anything at the Perkins?" Atta girl.

"Astor don't wonder off ok? I'll be right back, I just have to get this shirt off of Harrison, he got ice cream all over himself. Didn't you silly?" The small blond child giggled in the nannies arms as the younger girl rolled her eyes.

"Fine. God Jamie, I'm not 10. I'll be fine."

No sooner had they left Astor pulled out her phone and began to look through her pictures. It was going to be hard to go back to Orlando. The pictures were just memories now of how happy he had made her. Jesse, ugh what a stupid name. She flipped passed the images, unconsciously mumbling profanities under her breath till the waiters laugh interrupted her thoughts.

"Sorry, are you done with that?" He smiled, pointing at the empty plates on the table.

"Yea, go ahead." He reached over for the plates and shook his head smiling. "Do you mind telling me what you find so funny?" She said, annoyed at his cheesy grin and careless attitude.

"Nothing really, I just have never heard such a pretty girl cuss like that."

"What the hell do you care?"

"I don't. See you around Astor." She wasn't surprised that he knew her name. She had been doodling it on the napkin he had just picked up off the table, he had actually read it off of there.

He walked away with the plates and she shook her head in disbelief. What was wrong with the way she talked? Shit, everyone should be more damn honest when they talked. Plus she was angry, fucking sue her. She continued to angrily flip through the images, this time deleting them as she watched through her peripherals at how the cute waiter saved her napkin in his pocket.

"He's all clean!" Jamie chimed in kissing a clean Harrison as they made their way back to the table.

"All good Astor?" Astor nodded. Watching as the waiter took off his apron and left for his break.

"Morgan? Astor Morgan? I didn't know Debra had a daughter."

"Well I don't know, I mean she could be Dexters"

"Dexter! I had completely forgotten about him!"

"You had? That's weird, cuz you mention him a fuck of a lot."

"Oh shut up you little shit, I had. I thought he only had a son."

"Whatever, well at least she's not Debra's, isn't that the important part?

"Hmm yea I guess you're right."

Well hello there one and all, forgive my delay in posting a new chapter. To make up for it I will try to be back this weekend with spanking nother one for you all. All my new characters are coming to life pretty nicely in my head :) Happy readings!

BTW recommending "Fingerprints in the dark" That story was beautiful, for all of you who like angst-y Deb/Dex from the teen years. It was really good. I can only hope to get as good as that writer.