Memory

The night is cool and the eldest Bennet wraps her arms around herself as she watches the lit up full moon from Dexter's balcony. She had made it back, undetected. Dexter wasn't even home yet, but that was typical.

Miami. Home to four-hundred and eight thousand people. All driving around, running to and from places. Talking, eating, killing. A chill ran up her spine thinking about it, now that she was alone.

Anthony and her had walked down to the marina and hung out on some old guys boat that apparently Anthony kept an eye on while the man was back in Ohio or something. He'd stolen a bottle of wine from the restaurant and they had just lounged on the boat for a couple of hours, just watching the skyline, talking. She hadn't had any of the wine. She thought herself smarter than that, but she had enjoyed the conversation, gloomy as it may have turned out to be.

He talked about his mother, or what he remembered of her. She had died while giving birth to his sister, and neither had made it. His father had left them after his mom had notified him of her second pregnancy, and it was them and his uncle after that. And then just him and his uncle once his mother had passed.

She had looked up at the stars and felt just a little more blessed than poor Anthony. She remembered her mom very well, her soft voice, and warm smile, the smell of her perfume, and her shiny blond hair. Sometimes she would still hum Rita's old lullabies to herself when she had trouble sleeping, and as horrible as Paul had been to mom, he had still been a lovely father when he had tried. And she had Cody, and Harrison, and of course Dexter and aunt Deb, Grandma and Grandpa..

She seemed to have gotten lost in her thoughts because the next thing she realized was him wiping a tear from her cheek. It was odd, she was content, happy even - but, here she was again in Miami and she still missed mom.

Ever since she had turned fifteen, Rita's death had become something personal to her, she no longer wanted the pity of others, or an excuse for her actions, for her anger. the event was just, like a dark hole in her being that should have never been there. It was the moment she felt she became empty.

Something in the way Anthony touched her made her feel safe. It told her it was ok to tell him, to let him see it, because he seemed to be empty too. She told him of Rita's murder and he had looked into her and understood. The emptiness. He held her hand as the clouds parted to reveal a beautiful full moon. It was as if mom where looking down, and saying it was ok.

"My uncle used to tell me that, when people die they live in the state they lived in forever. Like, you will always remember your mom as this beautiful, happy woman. That is who she was. That she died such a terrible death doesn't take that away from her. She is who she was to the people who loved her. They're called innocents." he explained. "My mom was an innocent, it was better that she die than that she live on in a world that would have only hurt her. "

His attempt at comforting her made her feel uneasy, but his belief seemed to sooth him at least and she wasn't going to ruin that. She would have preferred that Rita live on, for all of them, but maybe that was selfish of her.

They had stayed in silence for a while, hands intertwined, looking at the shining moon before she had realized she had to get back. He had kissed her cheek at the gate, right before he walked off whistling some cheery song. Astor thought he was nice.

She caught herself whistling now, along with the wind. She caught herself smiling before the sudden jolt of a hand on her shoulder made her jump.

"Astor? What are you doing up?"

"Dexter! Jesus Christ! You scared the shit out of me, mom used to hate it when you creeped around like that"

"Sorry."

"I was just getting some air, Jaime didn't say anything."

"Oh ok.. Are you ok?"

She seemed serene before I walked up behind her. I hadn't meant to scare her. Force of habit I guess.

"Yea, I was just thinking." Astor looked out to the sky again and my eyes followed. Full moon.

"Alright, come in soon ok?" I saw her nod before I walked inside.

Jaime looked up from her spot near the sink to greet me. The place looked calm. A family lived here, a family that involved me. A serial killer. How long had it been since it had stopped being just me and my monster? Cody and Harrison's toys littered the floor, and Astor's magazines piled up on the coffee table, and they had only been here for two days? Strange as it was, it felt oddly satisfying to have them all here.

"Hey, everyone's down for bed. Well, Cody is watching TV and Astor is out on the balcony, I got scared for a second that I'd lost her but then I looked out the window and there she was, all's good. Deb's not coming over tonight?" She noted, looking around me for the missing Morgan.

"No, she had some work to finish up."

"Oh, I just thought, oh well never mind." She fidgeted with her bag strap for a moment as she got ready to go."Will you be needing anything else tonight?"

"No, I think we're fine Jamie, thanks for staying late."

"Yea, no problem. Goodnight Dexter." She made her way out of the apartment leaving me in the tranquil silence of a sleeping apartment.

It had been a long day. Miami never disappoints in the murder department, but if it had been a long day for me the measly spatter analyst, it had been a much more overwhelming day for Miami metro's Lieutenant.

The city had wasted no time that morning, two new cases had been opened before noon, one gang related and the other a murder suicide between "friends" Ha.

Deb had appeared in my office some time around one, she needed a quick boost of confidence before facing her superiors for the monthly briefing. Her new boosts of confidence involved prolonged kissing and playful punches in the confined quarters of my locked office.

"Least fucking favorite time of the month. No competition. You know, If I could choose between getting tased for an hour or sitting through one of these long ass meetings I'd pick two hours of tasing, gladly."

"That wouldn't be a fair trade off. Didn't you use to volunteer for tasing during your cop training?"

"It made me look tough." she smirked.

"As nails."

"Fuck yes." She smiled and unwillingly dragged herself off my lap as she walked towards the door. "Hopefully, I'll get to see you later. If not, want to do lunch at my place tomorrow?"

"Sure." She'd leaned in for a kiss, composed herself and had grunted out of the office. The meeting had gone on for four hours and I hadn't had the chance to see her before leaving.

On top of new cases and intensely long meetings, Michael Perkins had not showed up for questioning and the Perkins case investigation was extended further.

Her group counselor hadn't provided much information, but there was something about him, something familiar and I could swear I'd seen him from somewhere.

Harrison and Cody are sleeping soundly when I check in on them. They're pure innocence children. Not a care in the world. I look down at my son and the image of Lisa's blood drenched blond hair interrupts my gazing.

I had racked my brains all day and the case proved harder to me than any I've had before, and that's saying something. I must be loosing my touch. I searched the databases for any and all reputable child offenders who appeared to fill the profile. Living within the area, with access to the school, or Perkins home. One name popped up,Jeremy Anderson. Ex con. Did five years for kidnapping and neglecting his own daughter, I paid a visit to him after work hours, but despite a rather long and forceful interrogation I still came up empty.

"What were you doing near Lisa Perkins school friday afternoon?" My grip on his arm tightened as it bent back behind him.

"Fuck!" He yelled. His body pressed against the floor squirmed beneath my weight. "I don't know who you're talking about! I don't know! I already said I don't know! Who are you?! Don't hurt me, I'll do whatever you want. Just let me ah- " I could feel his pulse race, his breath become labored. My face leaned in close to his ear, my identity sheltered by the darkness of the janitors closet I had lured him into.

" I.. I .. I have a daughter man, a little girl. Have mercy! Don't you have kids?!"

I sneered and he screamed as I pressed my weight on his displaced arm. "I know about your little girl. I know that you took her from her mother. I know that you kept her in a dark room, forgetting to feed her, to care for her while you were out and about in a constant state of drunken stupor. You would have killed her. Like you did Lisa."

"Never! I woulda never, I love her! I don't even know who Lisa is! You gotta believe me!"

"Keeping someone against there will is not love."

"I haven't killed anyone! Please understand! What- " He had begun to cry and my rage against this horrible excuse for a man only pushed me to hurt him further. To inflict him with as much emotional pain as physical. He was wasting my time.

"Lisa Perkins! Thirteen year old girl! You saw her Friday afternoon, after school! Tell me!" His bone popped off its socket and a scream ripped through him as he began to beg.

"I don't know a Lisa! I wasn't at the school for her! I just wanted to see my daughter! I just wanted to see her."

"You leave her alone. She's better off without you."

"I can't! She's as much mine as she is her mothers. I can change, I have changed! I want her to love me too." I lifted my body off of him as he continued to cry, now disabled on the floor.

"God, please don't hurt me." My foot made its way onto his shoulder as I pulled the dislocated arm with both hands. The bone set back into place with a pop and another ear shattering scream of his.

"Stay away from your daughter or I'll be back."

I didn't kill him. There was no need, he didn't fit the code, and he wasn't responsible for Lisa.

Water from the shower ran down my body and the tensions from the day washed off with them, all but one. One that I hadn't cared for for most of my adult life. A longing, that pulsated in my groin, the one that intensified with the memory of Deb's laughing, and the way her legs made their way through her silky bed sheets. I caved into my primal urges and satisfied my desire under the shower head but as I came, the longing intensified up to my chest, and I missed her and the way her lashes brushed her cheeks when her eyes were closed and sleeping.

I turned the water off and reclined my forehead against the cool tile wall, panting as I regained my breath from the activity and the heat of the vapored room.

I hadn't killed him. And yet, how long had it been? A voice wondered within. The bloodlust hadn't surfaced in weeks, not since Deb had discovered my secret. I had been too busy convincing her that I'm still me. But the need. The inherent need wasn't there. The longing. The dark passenger had become dormant. That couldn't be it. The kids and Rita hadn't been able to stand between the dark passenger and a kill.

"Maybe you've found your light Dexter." The familiar voice of my foster father echoed from the chair in the corner of the bedroom.

"Impossible, Deb has never stopped it before, the kids have never.."

"You weren't in love."

"I'm not in love, that's insane. I just don't want to hurt her. This, this charade makes her happy."

"What charade Dexter?!" He mocked. "You're just as involved in this as she is. Look at you! Since when have you longed for sex more than a kill? You're in love with your sister."

I didn't answer my imaginary father but "shut up" came close to what I was thinking.

"Where's the dark passenger Dexter? He's not here, he's not thirsty."

"He'll be back, I know it. Deb wont love me then."

"She loves you now." He sits down and I can feel his gaze peer into me. He watches me closely as I digest his words. "but I do think you're right. She deserves better. You are not what I wanted for her."

"Of course she deserves better, but she's happy. I'm- "

"You don't need to say it. You don't even believe that yourself. You know you're no good for her."

"What would you have preferred? Someone like Quinn? Someone like you?"

"Well yes, actually. Someone who can offer her a life. You'll never marry her, give her a house, children? What can you give her Dexter? A lifetime of secrets? Of embarrassment?"

"You made me what I am. I am simply making the best of it."

"With my daughter!"

"She was never yours."

I hear the door open and shut as Astor makes her way inside.

"Goodnight Dexter!" She called out from the kitchen.

"Goodnight." I said, more to the seething Harry Morgan staring down at me than to Astor on her way to bed.

The park is a beautiful place in the mornings. Early bird catches the worm right? St. Augustines sisters make their way across, amongst the children and the mothers, the friends and the joggers. Myself among them. I've grown quiet fond of this routine, Miami life hadn't been hard to get used to. My bones ache from last nights hard work, but it was necessary, and extremely satisfying. The life of an innocent freeze framed for the rest of time. My heartbeat raced as I sped towards the group of nuns on my way to some hardy morning coffee, all part of the routine of course. It's much easier with a purpose, with a goal in mind. Much easier than life before I left this place so long ago.

"Sisters! You are all looking extra marvelous this morning. God must be blessing you all with the secret to the fountain of youth." I grinned at the batch of old women who blushed and giggled. They're so easy. So gullible at this age.

"Tony, you scoundrel. You shouldn't say things like that, us poor vulnerable old bittys might believe you."

"And I pray you do sister Katherine. You especially." I whispered close to the oldest one of them. Old fool.

"Such a charming boy." One of them said, as I jogged past them waving goodbye.

"Ah! Mister Green, how are you doing this morning? Here for coffee?" The restaurant manager smiled my way.

"Like every morning. Is Anthony in yet? Or did he sleep in again." Small talk with the city folk, part of the new life. Of the new plan.

"Haha no no, he's in. I'll call him out for you."

"Thanks! make that two coffee's today please." The man nodded and walked back into the kitchen.

Anthony. I have still to decide wether he's a nuance to me or a gift from heaven. Sometimes the kid came in handy, but lately he's been questioning my motives and that isn't going to work well for my plans. He'll have to prove himself to me by the end of the week, I'll see what becomes of him after that.

"Hey uncle T. Here two coffees. Part two today?"

"Yes, part two. I'm exited I can feel my blood pumping already." My hands came together with sheer joy as I felt all my plans finally take shape into fruition.

"I'm glad all's coming together for you T."

"Yes, me too. Speaking of which, have you decided who you'll be freeing yet?

"Ah-huh."

"You don't sound sure."

"N-No I will be, don't worry."

"Alright, wish me luck."

"Good luck T, you deserve it."

"I know I do my boy, it's been long time coming this plan." Two coffees in hand I make my way to my destiny, at Miami metros police department.

"Go 'Ahhh'" Michael Perkins opened wide and I swabbed the DNA off the side of his cheek. "That's it, the St. Batista will be in to question you shortly Michael." He didn't respond, just diddled with his fingers on the table. "You know, things will move a lot faster if you cooperate, we want to help." The boy exhaled and he relaxed onto the chair.

"I just don't know how that's possible you know? It's been almost a week, and nothing is going to change what happened. Or make it better. I couldn't come in yesterday." He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to me. "I was writing her eulogy, its her funeral tomorrow. I just want it to be perfect."

"You want me to read it?"

"Lt. Morgan, she's your sister right? You know what it feels like, you'd understand. If it was you writing her eulogy, would it say what mine does."

My breath hitched. "Well if you put it that way. 'There will never be a better sister than Lisa." I read out loud.

"I was only three when she was born, but she lit up my life. I had a friend, when I had none before. The way she cared for others was unconditional, the dreams she had infinite. She had the idea that we would grow old together, she used to take my hand in hers and read it and say that I have the biggest heart line she's ever seen. I never saw that heart line, but because she saw it, it was true. The light that burned out when my sister was brutally murdered will never be replaced in my heart, the heart she saw. Every part of me feels dark now, it's all consuming and strange, but it's the void that has been left.."

"She wouldn't have liked to hear that part." I said intuitively. "The best way to keep her alive would be to honor her memory of you, if she believed you have a heart then you should live like you have one, and fight the darkness." My stare was fixed on no particular point and the words leaving my mouth felt foreign to me. I'm not one to follow my own advice.

"Cooperate Michael." With that I walked out of the interrogation room and into my lieutenants office.

Deb was elbows deep in paperwork when I walked in, her head in her hands in sign of exasperation.

"Lunch?" I asked locking the door. Her head dropped and hit the pile of papers and she released a soft moan.

"I don't think I can." She pouted and shuffled papers around, paying full attention to her work. I walked around the desk and looked down at the papers. The death count for the month was high, the cases solved low. I massaged her tense shoulders with my hands and made my way around her neck. She unwound like a purring cat and allowed herself the relaxation. She tilted her head back exposing her neck to me and I couldn't resist putting my lips on it.

Debs eyes opened wide and she smiled. She liked this new attentive Dexter, she didn't think she was capable of loving him more, and it scared her that she seemed to be able to. Her hands reached back and dug their way through his hair. His lips searched for hers and they lingered there.

"I love you" she whispered onto his lips. He looked at her and then his lips kissed her forehead.

"Let's go eat. You can spare an hour, come on." He pulled her on her feet. "I'll help you close some cases tonight."

"You'll do that?!" She asked, thankful for the very much needed help. Especially from Dex. He was the best detective she knew, his talents were definitely wasted in blood spatter. Not that he wasn't insanely amazing at that too, but she was beginning to believe there was nothing he wasn't good at.

"Yes, now come on. Food!" I held her hand in mine up to when we opened the door. Past open doors we were just the Morgans.

"Lieutenant Morgan!" The group counselor from yesterday called out once we stepped out of Debs office. He was tall and gave off an air of confidence in his fitted running T-shirt and shorts.

"Yes?" Deb asked as he came closer towards us. He looked happy, almost chipper to see her. Where do I know you from?

"Well look at you!" And he did, he looked her up and down and a strange possessiveness washed over me as he took in all of her. Deb looked uncomfortable and she was milliseconds away from a curse riddled greeting. "Sorry, Tony Green." His hand reached out to take hers but he had a coffee in it. "For you." Deb took the drink and shook the hand, still confused. "I can't believe you don't recognize me! Debra Morgan, little Debbie. Oh, the one that got away!" his now unoccupied hand came down to hold her chin. He smiled at her lips as though he remembered them. I remembered him.

"Wow there buddy! No one's called me little Debbie since I was like ten. Tony Green?"

"Tony Green." I explained. My hand reached across and shook his, making space between him and Deb. "I remember you, eighty four, right?! Deb's first boyfriend." He firmly held my hand and stared me down with a big grin fake enough for the both of us.

"Ta-t-tony?! No! Haha!" She laughed and jumped in to hug him. "You had a stutter then! Oh my god, how are you?"

"Haha yea, ta-t-tony, It's just Tony now, or . Eighty four was it? Good memory! David?"

"Dexter" Debra corrected. "You've gotta be shitting me if you don't remember Dexter."

"Oh no, I remember Dexter. You would chatter away about him for hours, I guess the name just escaped me." Deb seemed to blush at the innocent mention of her childhood ramblings. She still fell victim to them sometimes. Her mouth had always been her one true downfall. "Look at you two now, Lieutenant and head blood spatter analyst. I'm sure Harry is proud." Deb's gaze bounced from me to the floor, ever the one to wear her heart on her sleeve.

"I'm sure he is." I answered for the both of us. "He passed years back. Sorry to cut it short Tony, but we were on our way out."

"Oh yeah, sorry, sorry. Busy cops and all. I feel like I wasn't of much help to you guys yesterday and I really want to be able to help out with Lisa's case. I used to volunteer at the Ohio state Police Department a few years back and I'd like to use my skills to help in any way." Deb smiled, cupping the coffee offering with both hands.

"Tony coming in yesterday was of great help already. I'm sure that if you leave your number with St. Batista we'll call you if-"

"I did that, and see I don't feel like that's enough."

"Your persistence is appreciated-"

"Morgan." Quinn's voice called from his desk. Deb and I both turned.

"See, now that's cool." Green commented with giddy excitement.

"Well both of you, I hope you weren't thinking of going anywhere. Dispatch called. Another girl murder, the X guy, 'ere boss" He handed Deb the dispatch note with the information.

"Oh fuck. Great." I heard her mumble, "Dex, blood."

"Yeah." I gestured my leave at Tony and moved to get my kit.

"Hey Deb!" Tony followed Deb towards her office. "Look, I know this is probably the worse time but. Is there anyway we could, you know. Catch up?"

"Uf, yea bad timing Tony. Another day?" She walked around her desk and pulled her heels off, slipping on a pair of jeans and sliding the fitted pencil skirt over them. It was kind of titillating. To be that fabric running over her skin.

"Can I come?"

"What?" She looked stunned.

"To the scene? I mean if it's this X guy, maybe I can help. Please let me try Deb. That little girl was a friend of mine. I knew her, she." I moved in closer and took her hand in mine pressing it to my chest. "She trusted me, and I feel like I owe her to find out."

"I guess. Fuck, it won't be pretty. I can't have you throwing up all over the crime scene."

"I wont, I promise, just. Please." I was holding her hands to my chin now. I could read her like a book, she would say yes, and I'd come along. Oh Debra Morgan the years I've waited for this.

"Fine!" My lips kissed her knuckles and when I looked up to gauge her reaction. Her attention had left me.

"Ready?" Dexter asked from the doorframe kit in hand.

"Um, yeah. Tony is coming along."

"Ok." He answered, leaving the room.

Here we go.

Ask and you shall receive. 3 to go. I'll try to put them up weekly [don't take my word for it] so that it can end when season 8 begins. Leave your comments, I want to know if you guys can tell where I am going with this. It's also an incredible motivator. Everybody thank Zerousy, DA-GD FAN and Willwood Rose for their resent inquiering on when I would continue this.