Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto.

Please enjoy! (Read the ENTIRE chapter. It gets really funny at the end.)

Question: Are you a girl or boy. I've just been under the assumption that most of readers/writers are automatically girls. So if you're a proud guy voice it!

Punctuation

"Pein and I will only be gone a week which is plenty of time for you all to screw things up. Sakura will make dinner at 6 and do her normal tasks. Hidan give her a bath every night. Itachi she's sleeping in your room and I think that's it." Konan said.

"You've told us all this before. Twice even." Kisame interjected.

"That's because the majority of this organization is made up of morons." Konan replied. She zipped up her cloak and slung a backpack over her shoulders. She glanced towards Sakura who's ears were pressed flat against her head and was having a battle against her tears. Konan's heart sank and she opened her arms wide and Sakura dashed forward and...ran right...by Konan, leaving her comically frozen in place.

Upon turning around Konan was witness to Sakura burying her head in Pein's chest with her arms wrapped around his middle saying 'No go. No go.' with extreme amounts of cuteness that Konan was instantly jealous of. Pein smirked at Konan obviously rubbing salt in her wounds. Which made Konan storm towards him and clobber him over the head and snatch Sakura up.

Sakura squirmed against the tight grip, but Konan bit the tip of one her cat ears causing Sakura to go all mushy and several of the males to flush.

"Konan we gotta go." Pein announced.

Konan let out a groan and gave Sakura one last huggle before letting go. Sakura, realizing her freedom dashed behind Kisame. Only peeking when they had left. Letting out a sigh of relief, she headed to the the Male Wing of the (quote, unquote) house, to grab the dirty hamper of each of the Akatsuki members.

Allow me to explain that last bit. Sakura had gotten Konan to get (AN: blergh) hampers and clean clothes baskets for each of the Akatsuki with their names on them. After using MASS amounts of force (that caused Deidara to hide in a closet, left Kisame crammed into a fish tank, and Hidan missing for 3 days) she had finally convinced them to leave all the dirty clothes in the hampers outside of their doors.

XxX

Hidan let out a wide yawn, stretched and headed for a couch in the living room.

"ART LASTS FOREVER!" Sasori suddenly roared at Deidara.

Hidan simultaneously groaned knowing this wouldn't be over anytime soon and was too lazy to go anywhere else to sleep. Hoping they'd take their argument elsewhere he unceremoniously sprawled himself on the couch. Though to his irritation the argument only increased in volume as they entered the living room.

Several punches, kicks. and other various degrees of bodily attacks and harm later, Hidan was fed up and forced himself off the couch. He opened his mouth to tell them to shut up when he was suddenly victim to a bleeding nose, courtesy of Deidara. Tobi, who was passing by whistled, "Oh no you didn't." Then he hightailed it out of there. As mass amounts of doom spilled from Hidan's body.

Sakura let out a shiver of sudden fear as a dark aura fell upon Headquarters and consumed it whole. She looked up from the clean laundry basket she had set on Itachi's bed and followed the feeling of terror and doom. Her legs shook under the mere weight of the hatred and malice as she approached certain doom.

Once she entered the source of the negative energy (the living room) she saw something you most certainly didn't see every day. Hidan was laughing maniacally, Deidara's head was in the wall, and Sasori was cowering in the corner.

Sakura (not wanting to be left out) jumped next to Hidan and together they oozed pure evil and laughed about it. This was the setting in which Itachi took center stage. Pausing to fully take Sasori whimpering about...wishing he could just die, Deidara's body (of course subtracting the head...of course) thrashing, and Hidan and Sakura laughing about it Itachi had a wise thought. "This is a very unhealthy environment for a 12 year old girl."

With that said he tossed her over his shoulder. Sakura-who was really enjoying her evil laugh and did not wish to be picked up and slung over a should-thrashed about, kicked, and was generally being a hassle.

Itachi set her down, getting to his destination of fresh air and warm inviting sun (outside). Though, Sakura only cared about the fact that she had been deprived of laughing her evil out and set off for the backdoor. Itachi-not allowing this-poked her forehead with his dreaded Poke of Doom.

Sakura reeled back clutching her head, but tried for the door once again. This time she found herself flat on her back, bewildered how he had even done this. She stood back up dusted herself off and sprinted towards the door.

Itachi caught her, pivoted, and sent her flying 5 yards back, with a triumphant smirk plastered across his face.

Ears bent and lip curled, Sakura stood back up. She attacked without hesitation drop kicking his stomach which he responded by catching it, spinning, and once again flinging her back 5 yards.

Spitting mad, Sakura got back up and came towards him with raised fists.

XxX

Hidan, was just starting to wake up from his late afternoon nap when he saw Kisame, Sasori, Deidara, Kakuzu, and Tobi out the window.

"What's up?" Hidan questioned.

"Look." Kisame pointed at Sakura who was a disheveled mess, panting and barely standing and Itachi who's cool demeanor was still intact, but had a light sheen of sweat covering him.

"He's training her." Hidan commented.

"Or mocking." Kisame said, apprehensive.

A smirk was shared between the males and they resumed watching the fight.

XxX

It's currently 9PM and Sakura was inside Kisame's cloak, hiding from Hidan who claimed he could smell her nearby for she was just that rank (definition: to go beyond the gag inducing stink into a sort of abyss of eye burning smelly-ness.) After Hidan had left the room Sakura peeked out from under Kisame's cloak and then dashed to hide the behind the catch. Kisame let out a 'whoa' not really expecting a girl to run out from under him and was feeling kinda violated.

Sakura took a running leap jumped over the cushions, flipped in the air, and was just about to land behind the couch when she was snatched in midair. Hidan let out a triumphant 'ha! ha!' and began to head for the bathroom.

Sakura thrashed against Hidan so he threw her over his shoulder. Though this only made things worse because she kicked him in the nose with her heel. Hidan growled and smacked her rear-end causing her to let out a shout of protest.

"Tobi, get me her clothes." Hidan ordered.

"Oki-doki!" he said cheerily.

Hidan shook his head, wondering how the heck that mentally unstable mess of sunshine and unicorns joined the Akatsuki.

After tying Sakura down with towels Hidan began to fill the tub and shout at Tobi to 'hurry up', about every 5 seconds. After everything was set and ready to go he untied Sakura (who attempted to get out the door, but simply fell on the ground, realizing that after 6 murderous hours with Itachi her muscles were hurting) and stripped her seeing that she was a mushy muscle mess, and then checked the temperature.

"I'm bleeding." Sakura stated.

"He cut you?" Hidan said, surprised that Itachi had actually been rough with her. Hidan had figured that he was more of a protective brother than a devious plotter.

"No, but it's all over my legs." Sakura answered, worried that she might've been losing to much blood.

Hidan turned around, "If he didn't cut you then how the heck are you blee-"

Hidan stared wide eyed at the her.

"B-B-B-Blood, from your...HOLY $##%$%$ I CAN'T #$^$&*#YOU'RE#$#%&$#^*$#PERIOD#%%#!%*^FEMALE ANATOMY##$%$##$&%#%$BIRDS 'N BEES#$^%$##%&#CAT*!

5 minutes later...

%&$!$&ONLY KONAN#$^^#$#$^CHILD!^#$%NAPKIN#$!#$$%*!COMES FROM#$%^&&^%$#&^%!^#$!#PEANUT BUTTER!" Hidan panted, calming down after his rant.

"WHAT'S GOING O-" Deidara burst in looked at Sakura's bloody...flower...then promptly fainted.

"You were a lot of help." Hidan said incredulously.

"Hidan, what does fu-" Sakura started

Hidan lunged forward covering her mouth. "Promise me that you'll never, NEVER tell Konan I said that. NEVER." Hidan stressed.

"I'm still bleeding." Sakura reminded, gesturing towards her...flower.

"Y-Yes. I'm gonna get...uh...uhm...Itachi!" He exclaimed rushing down the hall.

"I still don't knows what ##$ means..." Sakura whined as Hidan raced to find Itachi.

"ITACHI!" Hidan shouted as he kicked down Itachi's door.

"This had better be extremely important." Itachi venomously said.

"Sakura's $%# has $% blood oozing #$%#$!" Hidan shouted.

Itachi sat there, trying with all his might to make his mind decipher what Hidan had just said. After a minute his brain finally shut down in defeat and he collapsed on the bed.

"What!" Hidan shouted, unbelieving that Itachi had just been defeated. "FINE! Lay there you useless lump!" Hidan screamed, tears strea-...wait scratch that.

Hidan ran down the hall into Kisame's room, also kicking it down.

"You gotta help Sakura's #$#$ is #$# bleeding! And Itachi just died by overheating his brain!" Hidan shouted. Kisame froze...and stayed frozen for 5 minutes. "DAH! Why is everyone so useless around here!" Said an exasperated Hidan.

"Speak for yourself." Sasori commented from behind.

"SASORI! My savior! You gotta help!" Hidan dragged Sasori to the bathroom where Sakura was holding tissues to her...flower.

"Ew." Sasori recoiled back in disgust. He let out a sigh and looked for a pad under the sink. Pulling one out he handed it to Hidan who held it as if was a severed head (well...more like a dead spider since he's kinda a sadistic/masochistic).

"Give her a bath, throw away the panties, show her how to place that in the proper spot, and give her some painkillers." Sasori instructed.

"But what's happening to my body?" Sakura finally felt some concern for her own well being.

"You merely started your period. It happens to all of those belonging to the female race." Sasori answered.

"What does punctuation have to do with anything?" Sakura asked.

"Never mind. Just take a bath." Sasori left them, eager to leave that whole scenario of the unlikely. He had never expected to tell a 13 year old girl with cat ears about her own body functions in a S-class organization with the cliche of world domination in there sites. The whole thing was ludicrous...

Was it funnier? Lanta i hope so, I've just been dying to write about this. Got any ideas about what else I should do? I still have 1 more idea right now and a possibility of a plot (which I doubt I'm gonna go through with). Thanks for reading! Please add on to my 33 (0.o') reviews! (gah! I got 33 reviews! 33!) Which I thank you all for! WEE! You guys are so awesome! Squee! I wish you well! Also check out my profile (Life and Times ((a mass of hilarity and awesome)) will be coming soon to a fanfiction near you.) Please review!