Disclaimer: I don't own the Phantom Stallion series.
AN: This is also the first time I've actually written a Phantom Stallion story, so I'm sorry if I got something important wrong.
The actual day was just as beautiful as she imagined it would be. Actually, Sam had thought that it would rain just to spite her. She'd been a mess the entire morning, wondering if she was making the wrong decision. Different scenes played out in her mind, all with different endings. Would it turn out the way she hoped? Or this time tomorrow would she be crying her eyes out from her broken friendship?
Sam's fear of the latter had always kept her from doing what she had truly wanted to do. It hadn't been as bad when they were younger; it probably would have made their parents upset, they would have been separated, or he would have laughed in her face and told her she was too young. Now, their parents didn't have any real say in any of it, and she wasn't too young so he couldn't retaliate with that. But he could tell her that he didn't like her like that, that she was just a sister to him, and then their friendship would never be the same again.
And that was the problem. Because Samantha didn't think she could live without their friendship. Jake had been there her entire life; at least for every moment she remembered. He was there when she was four, and he was six, and they went to the fair with his family. She was there when he got his first horse, and he was there when her mother died. The accident. Coming home from the accident. The avalanche. Everything.
Although they'd had fights in the past, their friendship had always stayed strong, and so Sam knew that they would probably at least be able to speak again if things went wrong today, but it would break their closeness and make things awkward and not as smooth.
Although she had been planning this, or at least thinking about it, for a very long time, maybe even years, all kinds of thoughts were running through her head. Most of them were reminiscent of their childhood; memories that she'd look back on in sadness if things went wrong, and memories in which the like of them would never be made again between the two of them.
Sam remembered the times he'd treated her like the mosquito that wouldn't leave him alone. Most of the time before the accident, when they were in the presence of other people, she was the mosquito. In private, he treated her more like a friend, but of course their friendship had still been affected by the fact that she was a girl and he was a boy and they were different. She remembered him acting proud of being a 'man' and talking about his brothers like they were the best things ever. Sam remembered the time when she was eight and he was eleven, and they had walked in on Adam kissing his girlfriend in Three Ponies' barn. Jake had tried to act like it was normal, but Sam knew it was probably the first time he'd seen something like that in person. To her, it was disgusting, but by that point Jake was beginning to realize that it probably wasn't.
Much of their friendship had been defined by the fact that he was a couple of years older than her. It had started out with little things, like him being able to ride earlier and to learn different chores around the ranch. But as they grew, he would brag about school or friends and how he was much more knowledgeable than her. The accident had changed that, but not necessarily for the better. Then, Jake had dropped the childish facade and had convinced himself that she wasn't able to take care of herself, and that he owed it to her to make sure she never got hurt. He followed her, and annoyed her, and prodded her actions until she would get frustrated. Nevertheless, they had always had that part of their friendship, the part where he was either the more knowledgeable boy next door or the more knowledgeable mother hen. Sam had gotten used to it, and then everything had changed.
Because while he was growing up, so was she. It had snuck up on both of them, and although Jake worried about how she would get by without him, there was no denying that she could take care of herself. And just like how the accident had changed their friendship, so did this. By the time Jake went to college Sam could feel the difference in their friendship, at least on her side of it. They had always held hands when needing comfort or reassurance, or hugged if they hadn't seen each other in a while. But now, Sam found herself reading into the gestures without even thinking about it. She'd realized this change the summer before he left. She'd been absorbed with thinking about how rough his hand was, and how small it made hers look, and then she'd gotten distracted by his smell. And she realized that she usually always noticed how he smelled, and with that she realized that she actually cared about it more than a platonic friend would.
When he left for college, she'd been mildly upset, but knew that Jake would never be able to leave the place he'd grown up. Jake knew the playa and the canyons and all the land better than anyone. He knew the horses and the ranch. He lived by their values and he loved it. Sam knew he'd visit whenever he could. He wasn't the type of person to be comfortable in foreign places around unknown people unless he had to be, and staying there for school was enough.
He came home once a month for a weekend, and was always home for breaks and the summer. Sam took care of Witch, and every time he'd come home she could see the respect he seemed to have gained for her when she took him to see his horse again. Their conversations were still playful and sometimes frustrating, but they were also more calm and the cadence of their conversations had shifted; Jake now took all her words seriously, respected them, and indulged her because he wanted to - not to get her to stop her schemes or to protect her. They went on rides out of fun, not out of tracking or for work purposes.
But Sam had to restrain herself from some things, things that had once come naturally in their friendship. They could no longer hold hands, because she would find herself rubbing her thumb against the back of his hand, a gesture more intimate than was necessary for friends. She did this without thinking. Sam also discovered little things that she'd begun to do, like touch his arm and linger, or put her hand on his back if she walked up to stand beside him. They were things that she knew weren't appropriate, because they had developed a new meaning for her, so any physical contact with him had been restrained.
By the time she turned eighteen, Sam knew that the feelings she'd been battling with weren't just going to go away. For three years, their friendship had felt like this and it was slowly driving her crazy. A boy had asked her to prom, one which she hadn't known that much but was likable enough. And she knew it was time to do something about her friendship with Jake when she hadn't been able to dance with the boy, or hold his hand, or even smile with him without feeling guilty. Why should she feel guilty? It wasn't like she was with Jake. But she did feel guilty, and that's when she started to think about how to tell him.
If Jake had noticed any changes in their friendship, or changes in her, he hadn't said anything. Sam knew in the back of her mind that he must have; he could always read her better than she could read herself. He knew how she thought and the real reasons behind her actions before she knew. Jake had to notice that their friendship had shifted. He was much to quiet to say anything, but Sam knew there could only be two reasons why he had been silent. They were the two extremes; either he had also developed feelings and was too shy or afraid of the consequences, or he hadn't developed feelings and didn't want to hurt her. Sam knew that even though he didn't blatantly stick to her like a mother bear or lecture her that he still worried about her well-being. That would never go away, but he had learned to conceal it and trust her when she'd matured. So if he thought he'd be breaking her heart, he wouldn't have said anything to her about it.
But Sam was sick of pining for him. She was almost convinced that she loved him; she thought about him more than necessary, wanted to see him whenever possible, and found herself creating jealous scenarios in her mind about girls from college. And that last one was part of what gave her the final push to finally do something about their situation. After all, she had no real reason to think that Jake had a girlfriend, considering he had never mentioned one.
So Sam started planning, even though it scared her half to death, how to find out if their friendship could ever be more than what it was. Unlike most teenage girls, especially ones her age, she had not been looking at Jake and analyzing his actions. Because Sam knew she knew him very well, and she would know what he was feeling. And if any of his feelings indicated rejection, she wouldn't be able to handle it. So whenever they were together, she did not think about what he had said (even though his words were few) or any of his actions.
Sam thought about it for a while, and decided that talking to him was not the best option. Jake did not like confrontations unless they were violent and held no words. He wasn't good at talking and didn't like when people got overly emotional in his presence. Sam knew as soon as she started talking about unfamiliar subjects, acting so serious and scared, that he would become uncomfortable and close up.
With trepidation, Sam decided the best thing to do was wait for the right moment and just kiss him. He couldn't mistake that for something other than what she was intending. Sam was already half-sure she'd figured out what his reactions could be; he would either pull back in complete disgust (which was unlikely because she knew he didn't want to hurt her feelings), politely wait for it to be over and then gently turn her down (slightly more likely to happen), or kiss her back and then they'd move on to foreign topics in which they'd have to speak to each other like normal people (what she was hoping for).
Sam found it very hard to resist making herself look nice the morning she was going to see Jake. It was every girl's natural instinct to want to be pretty and impress a guy. But this was Jake, and Sam knew Jake, and Sam knew that Jake knew her, and he would know that something was up the minute he saw her. So Sam had pulled out her favorite jean shorts, a plain white t-shirt, and tried to make them look as nice as possible. Sam messed with her hair a bit though, trying to decide whether to braid it or leave it hang. But in the end, Sam knew that Jake like long, flowing hair, and so she let it hang.
Sam had just graduated and Jake was getting ready to go into his junior year of college, and the summer had just begun. They had seen each other a couple of times; she knew she'd had a gooey smile on her face when he reunited with Witch. He didn't act sappy, but his grin and Witch's neigh had got her.
Sam didn't know whether it was the nerves (it probably was) or sense breaking through, but she started getting nervous about the specifics of her planned kiss and it made her second guess herself. Jake was a head taller than her - how would she be able to randomly kiss him without giving him time to react, and time for her to see his face and his true feelings? How could she actually work it in without being too random or without completely acting desperate? And of course, the more hidden thoughts, thoughts she tried to suppress, were coming through her mind also. What would it be like if he actually kissed her back? What if he felt the same way?
Sam grabbed Gram's keys off the hook in the kitchen and bounded towards the Buick. They had decided to meet at Clara's and get take out to take have a little picnic near the tribal lands; the safest and prettiest part of their home. Not to mention, it had shade and probably more privacy, as she didn't want anyone she knew coming near them. It was always hard to tell where Dad or the cowboys would turn up if they were on River Bend's land or the land near it - the same went for Three Ponies and even Gold Dust. She did not want Jen accidentally riding past them and wanting to join. Although Jen was her best friend, Sam had never actually talked to her about her feelings for Jake, as she knew they didn't get along that well.
But before she met Jake at Clara's, Sam had a small plan that might help her have a lead way into her other plan. Even though Jake would think it was slightly strange that she was getting him a gift when there wasn't a reason to, Sam was going to go to Tully's Western Wear in the mall and get him a special pocket knife that she knew he wanted and could use. He couldn't afford to buy anything, being in college, but Sam wasn't in college quite yet and had a bit of money saved up from small things she'd done for the neighbors over the years. Jake didn't know about the pocketknife specifically; that is, he'd never seen it or indicated that he wanted one, but Sam had saw it and knew he'd love it.
Sam arrived at the mall without really remembering how she'd gotten there because she was both excited and nervous. As she walked into the store and asked the clerk to get the knife for her, she looked around cautiously, almost expecting everyone to look at her and just know what she was planning. But nobody gave her a second glance, and Sam was glad. For good measure, she pulled her hat low over her eyes just so know one could see her nerves or her blush.
She didn't have the knife wrapped, as she didn't want him to think it was too special, even though it really was.
There was another danger to giving him a gift right before she planned on revealing her feelings; it would only make a let down that much worse and embarrassing.
Sam's nerves eased almost instantly when she saw Jake leaning on the side of his truck and waiting for her to get to Clara's. She pulled in next to him, put her hat back on her head, and leapt out of the Buick with a grin.
Jake smiled back and rolled his eyes. "You like to keep me waiting, don't you?"
He teased, but Sam knew that it secretly really did drive him crazy that she could never just be on time. This time, however, she had a plausible excuse. Internally, she realized she always technically had an excuse - they just didn't all seem justifiable in Jake's point of view.
Shoving him lightly, she pushed him through the diner's door and shivered a bit from the change of temperature. Clara always kept the place extra cool since the range was extra hot.
"I ordered while I was waiting. Clara's boxing it up now."
Sam glanced at him when he looked toward the owner, and felt her heart beat faster. Even though he would have known what to order for her regardless of whether or not he had feelings for her, considering they'd been friends for so long, it gave her hope that maybe he cared about paying attention to little things like that.
Sam winced at her thoughts, and idly wondered when she'd become such a girl.
Jake also insisted on paying for the meal in whole, even though Sam knew he couldn't have that much money yet. Summer had just begun and Dad and the police station couldn't have much work for him so far.
While Jake put the cooler in the back of his truck, Sam made an excuse and quickly got the pocket knife from the Buick, as she'd be leaving the car here and riding with Jake. She should have just put the boxed knife in her purse to begin with, but she had been so nervous and excited, she'd almost forgotten to.
Jake glanced at the purse under her arm, something she only usually carried when shopping, and nodded toward the back of the truck, indicating she could put it back there. Sam took that to mean that his brothers had been using the truck more than him, and it was already messy and crowded in the front. It was highly possible that her purse could get stained or cut if she put it on the floor; it wouldn't have been the first of her belongings to meet that fate.
With a sigh, Sam knew that she could just volunteer to keep the purse in her lap while they drove, but she didn't want to miss the opportunity to hold his hat. So she arranged the knife to be hidden just in case the ride jostled her bag, and sat it down in the back.
With a hidden smile, Sam automatically took Jake's hat as he handed it to her as she climbed in the front.
The ride to the tribal land was quiet and peaceful. It made Sam happy. The radio was on, but was low as a country singer belted out a new hit single. Jake kept their windows rolled down, whether to enjoy the day or to keep them cool because the air conditioner was rusty, Sam didn't know.
Nevertheless, his growing hair, which was back to its original long length, flapped in the wind even though it was tied back. Sam's hair did the same, and she had to restrain herself from brushing it down with her fingers. She didn't usually fuss with her appearance, or seem to care about it.
Sam also had to stop herself from starting a conversation, but if they talked now they probably wouldn't have much to talk about later. Jake and his imaginary quota of words for the day still existed.
The spot Jake picked, Sam thought, was charming. It was shaded by trees and near the bank of the river. There were pretty flowers growing around, ones she had never seen before and didn't know the name of. The area both looked like home and yet looked like it would better belong somewhere else.
"We can park out here?" Sam questioned, even though she knew that no one patrolled the area or would care if they did.
Jake shrugged. "Don't see why not."
Even though both of them would have been all right with sitting on the ground, they still didn't want their food getting dirty, so Sam sat out a blanket she found in the truck for them to sit on.
Jake opened the cooler and handed her a bottle of water and her boxed meal.
As she was getting ready to eat, she giggled when she saw that Jake had the same thing as her, just in a larger proportion; instead of one cheeseburger he had two. Sam didn't know what had overcome her, as she usually didn't giggle unless she was hysterical or going into shock.
Jake stopped his movements of putting ketchup on the sandwich and looked up at her suspiciously.
"You gonna be like that today?" He asked warily. Sam burst out laughing, knowing he was thinking of the previous times she'd giggled - when she'd slid down the hill after riding the Phantom, and when he'd pulled her up over the edge of that cliff. Both times, he'd stayed stoically silent while she laughed until she'd cried.
"No," she said defensively, quieting herself down and not offering an explanation for her strange behavior.
They started eating, and Sam realized that she was a little self-conscious about her breath. After all, who would kiss someone who had just eaten a cheeseburger, especially a cheeseburger that had onions on it? Sam cleared her mind of her worries, knowing that something as small as that wouldn't bother Jake if he cared about her. After all, he was eating the same thing as her.
"Did you decide where you're going to stay?" Jake asked, surprising her by bringing up a topic for once without her prodding.
He was referring to her living arrangements when she went off to college. Jake had been helping her, as he had had to deal with the same issue when he'd left. She would be going the same place as him, as it was the closest four-year school there was to home. However, Jake had stayed in the dorms his first year and absolutely hated it. He was a private person and didn't like the community showers or sharing a room with a guy he hardly knew. But it saved his family money and he wasn't the type of guy to complain. The summer after his freshman year, he returned and worked hard to earn money. He'd taken a ridiculous part-time job at a grocery store stalking shelves, along with breaking horses and the occasional calls from the police station wanting him to track. So his sophomore year, he'd gotten a small apartment. It wasn't perfect, or even nice really, but it gave him privacy and he liked that.
But as he took more classes, he was able to get a part-time job that related to his major at the school's farm and start saving money for rent the next year. Jake still had the same apartment.
Jake knew that Sam was struggling with deciding if she'd like the dorms. She wasn't as private and shy as him, but she knew that it would be a hard experience for her.
"I haven't decided. Dad says I can use that money Slocum gave me for Hotspot as rent money, since I got a bunch of grants from the state and a couple of scholarships from my photos. But I'm scared to spend it on something like that, when I know it's not necessary."
Jake had chosen, for some reason, to not put his hat back on, so Sam could see his face as he looked at her.
The look he gave her made her heart pound. It was one of the looks that didn't appear until after she was older and he treated her as an equal, not as a child.
"You'll figure it out. If you want, we can drive up there one day this summer and look for cheap apartments. I'll show you around campus too, since I'm sure the tour you had wasn't all that great."
Sam nodded, surprised and grateful. Jake usually didn't waste gas or time unless he had too. But then again, he'd been through the same experience with going away and probably knew what she needed to help her adjust more than she knew herself.
"That sounds great. Thank you, Jake," she said quietly, and took a bite of her sandwich to hide her embarrassment.
Jake was silent for a couple minutes, and Sam was thinking of his pocketknife once more. But he glanced back up at her, a cautious look on his face, and Sam stopped chewing and raised her eyebrows.
"Not saying either of our parents would go for it, but together we could probably afford to get a nice apartment and split the rent, so it'd be cheap."
Sam knew her face was slack. Share an apartment with him? Sam wanted that, both because she'd be comfortable with him and because it would solve her problem. But would she be able to live in the same house as him and restrain her feelings? Besides, after today the possibility would disappear. They'd either walk out of this picnic as more than friends or awkward friends, and under neither option would it be ideal for them to live together. Sam knew outright that Dad wouldn't let her live with her boyfriend, no matter the age or who he was.
"I think that's an awesome idea, but I know Dad won't go for it. Even if he does know you well, you're still a boy."
Jake snorted and smiled but didn't reply.
They were both slowly finishing their meals by this point, and Sam decided now was as good a time as ever to give him her present.
"Actually, I, um. . . wanted to give you something," Sam said, and she could already feel her face heating up.
Jake raised his eyebrows. "What for?"
They had never given each other presents when it wasn't a holiday or birthday.
Sam shrugged, trying to act like it wasn't a big deal. "I saw it and thought you'd like it."
She got up and made her way to the truck. Bringing her purse with her, and fishing around in it, trying to stall and make it look like she hadn't planned this moment, she sat down next to him. Wrapping her fingers around the box and pausing, she looked up at him.
He had been looking at her fumbling and looked at her when she looked at him.
"Don't get mad," she said. Jake looked like he didn't know whether to scowl or smile.
"You're makin' me nervous, Brat," he said.
Sam smiled, knowing that his old drawl and her nickname was either meant to calm her or him down.
Sam pulled out the flat black box and handed it to him. Jake took it and slowly opened it.
She watched his face carefully, and it went from shocked to grinning very quickly.
He didn't say words, but Sam didn't need them. Words of thanks coming from him would have seemed artificial.
"I know you don't have a nice one, and you're trying to save your money. It just made me think you."
Jake took out the black knife and expertly fiddled with its components.
"You better not have spent a lot of money on this," said Jake, but he didn't sound ungrateful.
Sam shrugged. "I didn't," she said mockingly.
Sam laid down flat on her back and watched him continue to examine it. After a couple of minutes, Jake put it in his pocket, pushed their food out of the way, and laid down next to her.
They retreated into silence, and Sam knew that Jake liked these moments the best. His house was probably noisy, with most of his brothers still hanging around the ranch and helping the family even though they were grown and had their own places. Besides, getting her to stay quiet was unusual and Sam suspected he thought it was a nod to their friendship when she let him revert to the silence he liked best.
Sam figured that the rules she'd placed for herself were about to go out the window anyway, so she reached between them and grabbed his hand.
Unlike when they were children, their palms no longer clasped. Instead, she entwined their fingers. Jake gave her hand a squeeze, one that she figured meant he was thankful for the gift. He didn't question why she'd suddenly held his hand after a year of resisting.
Sam knew that she'd have to make her move soon. Jake would realize that something was up with her by her body language. He always noticed the small things that she didn't realize she was doing.
Sam slowly looked at the sky, followed a bird with her eyes, and slyly looked at his face from the corner of her eyes to gauge how far away he actually was from her.
He was already looking at her, his face turned and a small smile on his face.
"I know something's up with you today. You're trying too hard to act normal."
Sam wanted to shout at him and laugh with him at the same time. But she figured he'd actually given her a way to make this less awkward.
"Well . . . I do have one more thing on my mind. It's not necessarily a gift though."
Jake stared at her, admonishingly. "The pocketknife was enough. In fact, it was more than enough. You didn't have to get me anything."
Sam sighed. Pulling her hand away from his, since it was getting sweaty with nerves, she sat up a bit. His eyes followed her but not the rest of his body.
"I know. Just. . . I don't want to ruin it. Close your eyes for a second."
Jake rolled them instead. "No. What are you going to do?"
Sam felt annoyance coming up in her throat, ready to be spoken. She didn't need this moment to be one out of anger. She wanted it to be quiet and special.
Sam touched his hand again. "Just trust me," Sam said quietly. And because he knew that her normal reaction would have been to get mad and she was obviously restraining herself for some reason, Jake obliged and closed his eyes, a bemused look on his face.
Sam glanced at his lips. Pretending to shuffle about for a second to stall, she positioned herself closer to him, although she was hovering a little.
Jake had good senses and must have felt her, but he didn't move.
She tilted her head to the right, and kissed him the same second she placed her hand on his face.
Jake's body stilled completely, his breathing even ceasing. Sam, although completely freaking out inside, stayed slow on the outside and gently kissed him. His lips were softer than she was expecting, and his face smelled like aftershave.
He pulled back.
Sam's heart stopped, and she could feel the pain of rejection bubbling inside her. She kept their heads close together for a second while she collected her feelings and tried to stop the tears. When she opened her eyes, she was still just inches away from him, and he was looking right at her.
She didn't see disgust, which was good. All she saw was shock. Sam didn't want to take it back, because she didn't want to lie to him. She couldn't lie to him anymore. So she didn't come up with some excuse. Instead, they had a silence war, one in which she knew she had to win. Jake had to be the one to talk first, because it was already clear how she was feeling.
Jake slowly started to sit up, which automatically pushed her away from him. Sam stared at him, wondering if he was going to sprint. There was no way she'd be able to catch him.
Instead of standing up, Jake reached in his left pocket. He fiddled with something for a second before placing it in her hand. Sam held it for a second, looking at his face and not at what he had handed her.
Jake was pointedly avoiding her gaze, and Sam saw his face was red. Obviously the kiss had upset him, so it could have been from anger or from embarrassment.
Sam looked down at what he had handed her, and any air that was still in her body left it. It was a smaller box than the one she'd just handed him. Sam wanted nothing more than to rip it open and look in it, but her hands were shaky and her body was having a hard time functioning. Finally, she was able to pull the box open.
There was a beautiful ring inside, but she ignored it when she saw the small piece of paper folded in the lid. It was a small note Sam knew must have come with the box, meant to put a message on it from the giver. Sam noticed with even more surprise that the note had been hiding the logo of Kay's Jewelers, and was surprised that Jake would go to a jewelry store, especially one that could be expensive.
Her fingers opened the note and she stared.
I love you, Sam.
That was all he said. Sam looked back to the ring, and Sam could tell that it was a promise ring. It was a small silver band, with sideways hearts hugging a small diamond.
Sam started to sob, not able to keep it in any longer. Sam promised herself that she wasn't going to get emotional with him, but she couldn't contain herself. The sobs were uncontrollable, and she brought her hands up, ring box and all, to cover her face.
The feelings of relief, happiness, and surprise were so overwhelming that she couldn't have spoken if she wanted to.
Sam felt Jake hug her. He pulled both of her legs sideways over his lap and drew her close, trying to get her to calm down. She hadn't cried in front of him like this before; in fact, Sam hadn't ever cried like she was now.
After what seemed like a really long time, Sam was able to breathe again, and her sobs stopped, and she pulled away from Jake's chest. The spot where she'd been crying was wet. Without looking at him, she frantically ripped open the box.
Even though it wasn't an engagement ring, Sam put it on her left ring finger and studied it.
"It's so beautiful," Sam whispered. She had never had something so pretty in her life. Even though it wasn't the most extravagant, as Sam knew that Jake couldn't afford anything else, and probably had to strain to get money for this, Sam thought it was the perfect choice.
Sam felt him sigh in relief, and realized that she had never commented on the ring or his note before her breakdown.
Sam knew what she needed to do. Looking up at him, she knew that her face must be blotchy and her eyes still watery. His face was also changed - Sam, who was used to not being able to read Jake's usually emotionless face, now found that he had so many emotions on it that she still couldn't read it. It was a look she had never seen before, but it made her happier than ever.
"I love you," she breathed. Any strain in his face vanished and he smiled as she smiled back at him. They were silent, staring at one another for a long time. Sam realized that most people would have kissed. But their discovery was so overwhelming that both of them were just happy to know the other was happy.
Sam looked at him with new eyes. Even though she'd had feelings for him before, it was so much different now that she knew he felt the same.
He loves me, I love him, he loves me, I love him
The same thoughts kept running through her mind. Sometime during her mantra, Sam felt tears running down her cheeks again. This was still her best friend. This was still Jake. But now he was Jake.
When they saw each other now, they wouldn't just be the two kids that had been best friends for so long. They would still be those kids, but now they would be Jake and Sam - the couple. They could hold hands and touch and talk and Sam wouldn't have to restrain herself. They could spend time together and make different kinds of memories. Even though Sam had always thought that her and Jake were as close as they could get, Sam felt like their bond had strengthened tenfold within the past couple of minutes.
After a while of just staring at each other with no words, Sam realized just how much she was actually sitting on him. It couldn't be comfortable, especially with his sensitive leg.
She moved the bottom half of her body to sit next to him, but kept her arms wrapped around chest. Sam covertly wiped her face off with her hand.
It was weird, to look away from him and see the truck and the river and their empty food containers. Everything else remained the same, and yet they were different.
"I feel like my way of telling you was so cheap compared to yours. Thanks for stopping me," Sam said, her voice hoarse from tears.
Jake flattened her hair a bit and shook his head. "No way could ever be cheap. Not with those words."
Sam was mainly thinking about nothing except her happiness and relief. She stared at her ring, unable to take her eyes from it for longer than a couple seconds. But some questions were coming to her mind without her trying to think about them.
"How. . . How long?" She asked feebly. Jake would know what she meant. How long had he had these feelings for her?
Jake was quiet for a moment, and Sam knew that it wasn't out of hesitation. She felt the same way - slightly sluggish with surprise. It slowed down her mind.
Jake cleared his throat, and Sam knew he would never answer this question or talk in depth about his feelings again. He got embarrassed easily and he was shy, but he knew she needed to know.
"I'm not exactly sure. But I realized it about the time I started visiting colleges. When I had to actually think about leaving home. And leaving you."
Sam nodded. It made perfect sense to her. That was around the time he started having civilized (in her opinion) communications with her, instead of being her mother hen.
Sam knew he'd want to know the answer to her question.
"For me, it was around the same time. Maybe a little later. I started to concentrate on your smell and your hands and then I realized that's not normal."
Jake shifted and Sam could bet he was blushing. Her words had been a little too forward for him, probably. Sam wanted to smile, but didn't want to insult him. So she stifled it and hugged him.
Sam both felt and heard Jake sigh.
"Had to talk to your dad. He got really mad at first, cause he thought it was an engagement ring. But once I cleared that up, he was okay. He wasn't surprised at all."
Sam pulled away from Jake and looked at him, bewildered.
"Dad knows about this?"
Jake nodded. "I had to tell him. He's been like a second father to me, as well as my boss in a way. I didn't want to betray his trust if he didn't like it. Besides, you couldn't just show up at home wearing a ring."
Sam was mad when she thought about what would have happened if Dad hadn't approved. Because as far as she was concerned, his opinion didn't count as much as hers did in this situation. But Sam understood Jake's need. She also couldn't believe that her father and Jake had really had that conversation, but she didn't want to push for details. Jake probably wouldn't tell her anyway.
Sam suspected that the rest of her family probably knew about this. Sam couldn't imagine Dad keeping it a secret from Brynna or Gram. Gram, especially, who'd watched them grow up and who had suspected it a couple of times.
No one had said anything, either. And they had to realize how she'd been feeling about Jake. Sam supposed that the way it turned out was the best way it could have, though.
Although they weren't saying words, just sitting there close to one another, Sam's mind was racing. They could actually kiss now - and she knew that he would want to. But her face was still blotchy and her nose was stuffed from all the crying. And she wanted the kiss to be perfect.
"Do you have any tissues in the car?"
Jake looked toward the truck and chuckled. "If not, there's definitely something in there that will work."
Sam reluctantly left his side and made her way to the truck.
The truck was a complete mess. Even though some of the brothers now had their own vehicle, the truck was still used by the whole family. It was used to drive around the range if needed and if they went anywhere as a family. With a sigh, Sam started fishing through empty wrappers and discarded shirts.
She came upon a napkin, one that looked half decent, and blew her nose. Sam stood in the doorway of the driver's seat and leaned in a little further to glance in the rearview mirror. She didn't look too horrible. Her face was a little red, but the glow of her happiness shined through all the bad.
Not wanting to put the tissue on the floor and be a slob, she stuck it in her pocket. At that exact moment, she felt Jake's hand on her waist.
Jake had never put his hand on her waist. He wasn't even touching her bare skin, but it made her arms break out in goose bumps.
Her body was already tingling slightly when she slowly turned around to face him. She had no idea how Jake had managed to sneak up on her, especially when she'd just been looking in a mirror and could see behind her.
But that was Jake. Silent and swift.
Looking up at him, Sam knew that the moment was about to happen. And she could also tell that she was definitely shorter than him and it would make him have to lean down and her lean up.
With as much grace as possible, Sam sat herself down in the driver's seat without looking and while still facing him. It helped a little with her height.
And then it seemed like Jake's nerves had taken over, and he kissed her without warning. This time, he wasn't still against her lips. Sam was surprised how fast every thought completely flew from her mind and the kiss just happened - no nerves, no over-thinking.
And they kissed until they couldn't breathe. After a pause for breath, they kissed again. And repeated. And Sam didn't have another care in the world. All she could feel was his lips, and his hand on her waist, and feel his breath on her cheek, and his hand, holding the hand with the ring, running his finger over it.
Sam was sure they wouldn't have a normal relationship. Instead of working their way up like most couples, they'd started strong with the "I love you's". They already had a million memories of each other, and knew each other better than anyone else in the world knew them.
On their way home, Sam knew she'd have to figure out a way to tell Jen, and to deal with all the comments she knew people were bound to have about them. All the joshing, all the "I told you so's". But for the moment, her mind was still on Jake. She thought about their future, about college, and about his eventual inheritance of Three Ponies.
When Jake noticed she was staring at him, he uncharacteristically took his eyes off the road and looked at her. Just for a second, but that was all it took. Sam saw his mustang eyes and his lazy grin and laughter bubbled up within her.
Sam giggled until her stomach hurt. It didn't really matter that she had nothing to laugh about. The only thing that mattered was that they had each other, and even though Sam knew he'd be embarrassed about it later, he laughed right along with her.
AN: I tried. Please be nice. Also, I'm sorry for any grammatical errors. I know I can be wordy and get carried away with run-on sentences. Thank you for reading!