Good and bad news everybody.
The bad news; due to an accident my Wii disc reader can't read any Gamecube games anymore (I still have my old Gamecube though).
The good news, I finally completed every game from Kirby's Dream Collection, yay! ... Oh, there's also the new chapter here, I hope you enjoy it.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Ao no Exorcist or Black Rock Shooter, they're Kazue Kato and huke respectively, if they were mine a super epic and badass crossover anime would be in production right now.
"Darn it Heart of Hades, as if my HP wasn't low enough thanks to your Bomberman-esque clones! ... maybe I should have brought a club instead of claws too" I shouted furiously at my Nintendo 3DS.
"Uhm… we're already airing" Yukio told me.
"… Seriously? oops" I closed my 3DS as the cast of AnE sitted on their right places "Welcome back readers, to Ask BRS and AnE characters. Today we have six people reviewing and five sets of questions, so now let's start!"
"Wait, where's the cast from Black Rock Shooter?" asked Rin.
"Oh, here" I pressed a shiny button and then from the ceiling a chained cage descended with the BRS cast inside.
"WHAT?!" the AnE cast exclaimed. Rin laughed at Mato and Black Rock Shooter, who frowned at response.
"Oh, you'll see when I'm out of this cage; your suffering would be so extreme and painful that you will wish to have never been born in the first place!" Chariot shouted and pointed at Shima.
"Wait, why me?! And what's your obsession with screwing my life?!" Shima asked.
"It's fun" Chariot smiled, Shima trembled like a chicken.
Kagari sighed "I think some of my old yandere bitch personality still resides on you".
"Why you locked them there?!" Yukio asked.
"We will not need them in the first set of questions and much of the second one, so to keep them in order" I said.
"Someone help us!" Dead Master cried.
"All right, the first set of questions comes from Lorelei Clockwork, thanks for reviewing and following girl! Anyway, here's the first question: Rin, why are you short tempered?".
"Huh? I'm not short tempered!" Rin was preparing to unsheathe the Kurikara and was unleashing his flames.
"Allow me to explain it" Yukio said "You see Nii-san and me are like the Ying and the Yang, we need each other to compliment what the other doesn't have; I'm calmed, he's hot headed; I have a sense of responsibility, he doesn't; he's stupid, I'm the smart guy".
"WHO YOU CALL STUPID?!".
"As if it wasn't true" Bon added.
"Ah, Bon, the next question is for you: Bon, Awesome hair, how'd ya do that?"
"Well, thanks for saying it's awesome; if you mean the color, it's natural, but If you mean the hairstyle, I always manage to fix it up with some gel" Bon replied.
"All right, the next question is for Izumo: Izumo, how do you control that bitche- I mean Gods of Harvest?".
"Well, I wouldn't not usually tell, but let's say that's the result of years of training to be an exorcist".
"Also she does to help us her friends" Shiemi happily added.
"W-what?! That's not true! I-idiot!" Izumo replied in a very tsundere way.
"Aww, what a shame you're not voiced by Rie Kugimiya, you could be one of the tsundere wonders then… but you have too much boob to be one of them now to think it" I said.
"Who are you calling tsundere you pervert idiot?" Izumo replied.
"Anyway the next question is this one: Mephisto, Amaimon, Yukio, GIMME A HUG!".
"Okay" Amaimon said and the three of them went to the public and hugged Lorelei Clockwork, who fainted due of happiness.
"All right, the next question is for you Mephisto: How can you pull out thingies from that top hat?".
"Well, you see as one of the many Satan off springs, I possess powers of my own, which includes transformation, magic and transportation. Let's say your question is simply answered by saying magic" Mephisto said with a smile.
"… That means you could get anything out from nowhere, right?" I curiously asked.
""Of course, little Mr."
"… Give me a Wii U"
"Huh?"
"I said give me Wii U. Right. Now" I said and pointed Mephisto with the Pandora Claws.
"My, my; I just remembered I've got some important stuff to do, see ya later" Mephisto turned into a dog and began to run.
"Hey! Come back here and give me the Wii U!" I began to chase and shoot at Mephisto around the whole stage, Black Gold Saw enjoying the view eating popcorn.
"Uhm, I think we should move to our sponsors" Yomi said.
"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea" Yukio replied.
Has it happened to you that when you cook the food tastes bad? It's not well prepared? Other people compliment about it? Well, that's no problem now! Get the Ukobach and Okumura Rin Cook Guide now!
The Ukobach and Okumura Rin Cook Guide is the newest and greatest cooking book in history, making you from being a novice cook to an expert in a few days; and that's not all, it also includes one hundred and one recipes for you to practice and please the mouths of thousands. Let's get some words from the writers.
"Hello, I'm Okumura Rin and this is the principal's familiar Ukobach" Ukobach saluted "So, I'm not actually into books… actually we made this stuff as homework… but don't get it wrong, it's actually a great book! Made by the two of us! Right friend?" Ukobach nodded and smiled in response.
But that's not all! Let's herd the opinions of some customers!
"Since I had this book, I had learned to cook very well, now mom and me don't have to go to restaurants because neither of us know cooking" Shiemi happily said.
"Since I learned how to cook, girls had become hooked to me, so if you wanna get lots of girls with you, buy this" Shima said with lots of girls surrounding him.
"The Satan offspring is a menace that must be eliminated as soon as possible! ... But I have to admit that this book is impressive and helped me a lot with my superiors, so as much as I hate to say it, it's very good and I recommend it" Augustus Angel said.
You see? This book is so great that even Rin's mortal enemies buy it, so what are you waiting for? Call at 2039 602 020 (93) right now and order it!
If you do the call between the next 3 minutes, you can get free a Kurikara replica! (not made from the same materials as the real one obviously, so It's just a cheap knockoff and don't expect to get powers from Gehenna).
Back at the stage I finally calmed down and letted Mephisto free… and still I didn't get a Wii U. The BRS cast was also free from the cage.
"That commercial made me hungry" Yuu said.
"And it made me want to kill Renzo more" Chariot said, Shima trembled even more.
"You dislike books yet you wrote one and published it? That's hypocrisy!" Mato said to Rin.
"So? At least it's a book with no images… it makes it a bit more bored, but at least I made something related to books…".
"Uhm, Mato, you actually only read books with pictures" Yomi said, Mato shocked as she knew her defeat.
"Ha! Who's laughing now?"
"Time for the next question: Amaimon, ever heard of the dentist?"
"Dent-ist?" Amaimon curiously said, making more than obvious that no.
"Last question of the set: Shiemi, do you know that plants grow better when watered at night?"
"Really? I think I might try it, thanks" Shiemi smiled.
"All right people, the other person that reviewed was HARZ X… he actually didn't leave any questions, but still he favorited this. ¡Gracias! ... oh, y por cierto, aprovecho para decir que también pueden dejar preguntas es español, aunque claro, las responderemos en ingles" I said.
"Wait, you talk spanish?" Yomi asked.
"Now to think, where do you come from?" Yukio asked.
"It's a secret to everybody" I responded, both grunted. "Anyway, the next set of questions comes again from Lorelei Clockwork, and we will the help of her OCs Lorelei and Lilicca".
Suddenly, a Warp Pipe appeared from the ground and Wario jumped from there with Lorelei and Lilicca tied up.
"All right, here they are now where my prize is?" Wario asked.
"Oh, here is it" I gave Wario some garlic, at which he smiled and ate it, transforming into Super Wario and farting the way out of here, intoxicating everyone except me as I was wearing a gas mask.
"Help!" Dead Master said coughing loudly. Everyone died and then more pink bright fairies appeared and revived everyone.
"You know, if you wanted my help you could have simply asked for it" Lorelei said while being untied.
"I know, but it couldn't have been fun. Anyway, first question: Rin, have you ever tried fighting with BRS?".
"You read the last chapter, right?" Rin responded.
"Second question: Yukio, how can you balance those two guns?"
"Years of practice" Yukio replied.
"Third question: Dead Master, how can you lift those robotic arms of yours?"
"I think you wanted to ask that to Strength" Dead Master responded.
"Huh? Well, I never thought about it, I really don't know" Strength replied.
"Don't ask me neither, never thought of it neither" Yuu said.
"Fourth question: Mephisto, Rin, Amaimon, Yukio, Do a foursome duel with Lorelei". The four of them then charged at her.
"Heh, too easy" Lorelei then used some badass combat skills and spells and beated the crap out of all of them.
"The pain…" all of them grunted. 1-Up Mushrooms appeared and cured them.
"All right, people next question: Kuro: go play with Lilicca".
"All right" both said in unison. They played and were having much fun. Strength and Yuu died from a huge nosebleed caused by such cute scenario with kitties, they were revived by me using Maxim Tomatoes on them. The girls awed. The guys didn't care, except for Konekomaru and as the cat lover he is played with them a little too.
"Well, time for the next question: Mephisto and Saya, which of you is stronger?".
"My, my, what a question. As much as I don't like to say it, I have to say Mephisto-san maybe is more powerful than me; he has lots of years more of experience in having power and he can do some stuff I can't" Saya said, Black Gold Saw hated to admit it too, but she nodded.
"Thank you Irino-san, I have to admit you're impressive too; interested in exorcism?" Mephisto grinned.
"Thanks, but I pass".
"… Wait, that's all? No epic battle that would destroy everything and kill everyone here?" I said feeling ashamed.
"Of course not, we're not kids… unlike these here" Saya pointed at Black Rock Shooter, Rin and Mato.
"HEY!" all of them said at the same time.
I sighed "Okay… next question: Mephisto, try to win a strip poker game with Lorelei".
"All right" Mephisto said with pride, pride that was eliminated after Lorelei won every round and made him go nude, attracting even more fangirls to the scene and causing more female nosebleeds. After that he putted his clothes on again and sitted in his right place with a shame face while Lorelei jumped happy through all the stage.
"All right Lorelei, thanks for coming" I pressed another shiny button and then a tube appeared out of nowhere and sucked Lorelei and Lilicca.
"Where does that goes to?" Yomi asked.
"Meh, I dunno" I responded.
"Ouch!" Lorelei hitted the ground.
"Are you alright Lorelei?" Lilicca asked.
"Yeah, but where are we?" Lorelei said as she stood up and noticed she was in a theme park with many weird big headed and thin people having fun on 12 attractions based on… video games? "… Yep, definitely I don't know where we are".
Back at the stage.
"All right, the next question comes from SuperShinigamiXD: Rin, out of all the girls with their other selves present (Mato, Yomi, Yuu, Kagari, Saya), which one would you most likely kiss?"
"… Huh?" Rin said shocked.
"… WWWWWHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATT TTTTTT?!" The Other Selves and their human counterparts screamed in horror.
"Good luck, Okumura" Shima said, knowing Rin's fate already.
Rin turned to look at the Other Selves; seeing them with killing expressions and all their eye flames on. *Damn! What I'm supposed to do now?! Uhmmm… well, I'm not really into older women, so that leaves Irino out of the way, that Kagari was a crazy yandere bitch as I was told, Yuu-chan too… that would leave Yomi and Mato… Yomi's too much of a bookworm now to think it… I don't wanna kiss a female Yukio!* "Uhmm… well, I guess… Mato?" Rin said blushed. To Mato, that comment made her face red as a tomato (get the joke?).
"U-uh… well… etto… at least it doesn't says you have to kiss, it only says who would you ,most likely kiss, right?" Mato said nervously.
"Huh? Yeah, I don't have to" Rin said. Soon, Mephisto and Black Gold Saw arms appeared from portals behind Rin and Mato and pushed them making them into a forced kiss. Both of them as well as Yukio and Yomi went in shock.
"Aww, don't they look cute together?" Shiemi said.
"You…" Black Rock Shooter stood up from her seat, furious "dared to steal my first kiss..." Black Rock Shooter then summoned the Rock Cannon pointing at Rin.
"H-hey! It wasn't at purpose!" Rin cried as she shot at him and began to flee, Mato still standing in the same place in shock as she touched her lips.
"All right… that was… unexpected… " I said.
"Mato… was kissed… I saw my best friend… being kissed…" Yomi said trembling as Dead Master patted her head trying to calm her counterpart.
"Nii-san… kissed a girl… Nii-san got his first kiss… before me…" Yukio said as he felt his pride being crushed, Dead Master patted his head too.
"All right, only two questions left; the next one comes from IDunno: I want to ask if everyone could tell something really embarrassing".
"Well… sometimes when I was little I took advantage of my demon strength to make jobs and gain money for a PSP" Rin said.
"One day I had a dream in which my moles formed the Hokuto constellation" Yukio said.
"My hair is messed up every morning" Bon said.
"When I was 4… I ate a worm thinking it was a noodle" Shima said.
"Well, I'm actually bald because I had an afro hairstyle before and accidentally my barber ripped it off when he cut my hair one time. I knew it would take years to it to grow again, so I gave up on it" Konekomaru said in a loser tone.
"My first time was when I was drunk" Shura said, no one surprised.
"One day I confused Nii-chan for a salad in my sleep and munched him accidentaly, I had to apologize the whole morning for him to pardon me" Shiemi said.
"One day I ate a mouse toy thinking it was a real one, I had diarrhea for a week" Kuro said blushing.
"What is something embarrassing?" Amaimon said.
"I have nothing to say" Mephisto said.
"Me neither" Izumo said *Darn it! I can't tell I actually do cosplay of Miki Sayaka in my free time!*.
"I'm actually very gluttonous" said Black Rock Shooter.
"One day I danced the Caramelldansen for a cousin birthday" Mato said.
"Sometimes I wish to crush Stephanie Meyer for creating one of the worst books ever made" Dead Master said.
"I'm actually afraid of heights" Yomi said.
"When I was in the human world for the first time, I punched a car thinking it could be something dangerous and broke one of its mirrors… the police stopped me" Strength said.
"I like to put on kitty ears and act like one to play at times" Yuu said.
"I actually prefer tea over coffee" Saya admitted.
"Sometimes I watch the others when they're sleep to check on them" Black Gold Saw said.
"In my free time when I'm not cooking macaroons, I like to make cosplay of Miki Sayaka from Madoka Magica" Kagari said, Izumo jaw dropped.
"When I'm alone, I play tea party with the toys that are scattered through my domain" Chariot said.
"Well, and with that only one question is left, from IDinNotCAnything: Rin, try to get BRS to kiss you".
"WHAT?!" Rin shouted, he was then chased by BRS shooting at him again and Mato went back to her shock state touching her lips remembering when they were in contact with Rin's.
"Both of you calm down at this moment!" I said at them pointing at both with the Dynamo Cannon, both stopped at that moment.
"All right, I guess that's all for today… wait a minute…".
"Is there a problem?" Yomi asked.
"As of now, we only had fanservice for girls… but none for guys… mmmmmhhh…" Then I smirked and suddenly a giant fan appeared out of nowhere and it went on, ripping Mato, Yomi, Yuu, Kagari, Saya and their Other Selves clothes, leaving them naked.
"KKKYYYYAAAAAAA!" all of them cried, every male had a nosebleed (yep, even me) and they tried to cover themselves.
"Well, now we have it".
"Prepare. To. Die." And so all of them began to chase me trying to kill me, which of course they weren't able to because I'm the author. When everything went back to normal and putted their clothes on, I left the room; everyone was at the center of the room planning on ways to kill me; except for Yomi and Dead Master, who were fused to share the emo feelings and trembling they were having at the moment with Yukio trying to cheer them up.
"I'm not able to marry anymore…" Yomi inside Dead Master's body said trembling.
"Now, now, Takanashi-san; look at the good side; if this was rated M it could have been worse" Yukio said.
"You nosebleed too" Yomi frowned at Yukio.
"Uhm… sorry about that".
Yomi sighed "Okay, it's not your fault, Okumura-kun; but still it gave me the urges to kill that guy".
"Yeah, you're not the only one, everybody here wants to, I'm sure even Shiemi –san is starting to feel anger towards him".
"How many time do you think he will keep us in this torture?".
"I'm not sure… wait, wasn't this fic supposed to be random?".
"Hmmm… you're right, this a serious moment right now".
And so, everyone stared at the door, hoping for me to finish this punishment soon.
Okay, so the last part wasn't random and also last chapter had more randomness. But still I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Don't forget to leave more questions and tasks for them to keep suffering.
By the way, Lorelei ended up in Nintendo Land for those that don't get it and I was playing and using weapons from Kid Icarus: Uprising. Also the Izumo and Kagari cosplaying as Sayaka joke comes from the fact that all of them (and Chariot) have the same voice actress.
Kid Icarus, Nintendo Land, Wario, Super Mario Bros., Kirby and The Legend of Zelda are © Nintendo.
Rie Kugimiya is © Uhm… I guess herself.
Puella Magi Madoka Magica is © SHAFT.