Ow…

Ow…

Ow…

Walking, moving in general, has become exceedingly difficult.

Why did the one with the skate board have to go so hard on my leg?

I can't even ride my bike without falling over.

Why… why am I like this?

…

I would never ask myself that question. I never have, and never should have to. I know who I am, and I've never had any problem with myself. I'm proud of who I am.

So why do I now hate myself?

I never asked to be this way. I remember all the times I had tried to be friends with others. I didn't leave others out; I tried to interact with all others as best as I could. It was as if by nothing other than the cruel hand of fate that I was harshly rejected by my peers, forced completely to the outskirts of the social hierarchy, no place to stay in a reality I am forced to live in.

I suppose I can only conclude this new feeling as one thing.

Even more weight.

However, with this I worry if this is finally the mass that will crush me. That my mind and heart will break from the pain that they had suffered for so long.

Only time will tell.

… It is seriously getting painful to walk now. I really hope I can get home before sunri-

"Eeh?! Hiki!"

I turn at the call. It's Yui, still addressing me by that far-too-familiar name.

She runs up to me, and seems… panicked.

"Hiki! What are you doing out so late?!"

"… Why are you here?"

"Komachi called me when you didn't come home. I've been looking for you."

Her eyes narrowed and she jumped.

"W-what happened to you?! Your face is bruised, and your nose is bleeding and… are you crying?"

Crying… I hadn't noticed until she pointed it out. I touched my eyes, and felt the moisture round them. How long it's been since I shed tears, I wonder. I wonder if it's the pain from getting beaten up that's caused this, or something deeper.

"… I'm fine. I just ran into some trouble." I resumed limping toward my home, when I felt a hand on my arm.

"Yo-You're coming to my house. It's much closer." Yui's tone was timid and reserved, and her face was bright red.

At her suggestion, my face began to redden as well.

This was going to be difficult.

We arrived at Yui's home which was, as she said, much closer from where she had found me than my home.

She gave me a cloth to get the blood of my face, and an icepack for my cheek. She invited me to her room, going so far as to let me rest my leg on her bed. Her room was about as girly as expected; plenty of frilly patterns and little stickers decorating her furniture. As I lay on her bed she sat across from me in her desk chair

"I can't believe those guys just beat you up like that. We'll have to talk to Hiratsuka-Sensei tomorrow." Yui said, handing me a cup of tea.

"I'd really prefer not to get that woman involved."

"Ehh?! We can't just let them get away with it! Look at you! They could've broken your leg!"

"It's fine. I doubt anything they could have done would've been worse than getting hit by a car."

As soon as I said that, Yui's eyes lowered.

"N-no, I didn't mean…"

"…Hachiman…"

She used my first name for the first time. Whatever she's about to say, it's going to be important.

"…When you saved my dog from the car crash, I didn't know what to think. I was just so shocked to have seen it happened. I watched the paramedics come and take you to the hospital, without even getting your name. I'd asked the doctor for your name, and I began asking everyone at school about you... Their responses were less than positive."

"Yui, please tell me you're going somewhere with this."

"I am; I am. Most people had no idea who you were, and the few who did know you didn't have many nice things to say. 'Outcast', 'Loner', and 'Weirdo' were the least hurtful. I also heard 'Fish eyed freak' and 'Know it all loser'. And it confused me. It didn't make sense for someone with such a reputation to have done what you did."

"Well, I'm sure most anyone would have done the same thing."

"Really? There were plenty of other people walking around at the time. None of them were willing to do what you did. They would've just watched it happen without one attempt to intervene. Even me. My dog was about to die, and I just stood and watched it run into the street. You were the only one who valued a creature's life like that, to have risked your life to save it. And I just couldn't understand how someone like that was hated or casted out by so many people. When I finally heard you were out of the hospital, I didn't know how to approach you. I couldn't even think of what to say. Finally meeting you didn't help either. You weren't the nicest person in the world, but you genuinely tried to help me. You helped me, and went on to help so many others. And it hurt to know that someone like that was looked down upon by so many others. And I didn't understand why you were so willing to help others, but let yourself be hated or ignored. I didn't understand how someone could live like that."

"Yui… I don't care what others think of me."

"Well… Well I do!"

There were many things I thought would never happen. Countless things I was sure I would never be allowed to experience.

One of these things had happened just now, as in an instant, Yui jumped onto her bed and pressed her lips to mine.

And, in that moment, despite being tired and in incredible pain, somehow, none of that mattered. It was as if, for the first time, life wasn't so simplistic and biased. Life was suddenly a mysterious and spontaneous venture. And though I had always reject such a notion, I found myself drowning in it. For a brief moment I was truly… happy. Happier than I'd ever been.

The feeling reverberated through my being as Yui's lips separated from mine.

"Hachiman… I don't like seeing you get hurt. Doesn't that mean anything to you? Do you at least care what I think?"

Yui spoke to me with tears in her eyes. I had to say something.

"You're right. It hurts to be ignored and casted out by those around you. It hurts to be the enemy so that others can come together out of mutual disrespect. It hurt, but I took it. I took it because I felt that my pain didn't matter in the grand scheme of things. That my feelings weren't important. That's why I was so quick to save your dog; because I believed that its life was more valuable than mine ever would be. And I was fine with that… until you showed me what it's like to have others show concern for you. Knowing that someone valued my life, it made me happy. But I didn't want to get used to it. I knew if I let myself get too comfortable with such a feeling, I wouldn't be able to handle it if I ever lost it. I rejected your companionship, and your attempts to care for me because I was afraid you would cast me aside like the others."

This girl. She had broken down the walls I had spent years putting up. She had broken my constitution, and at the same time, freed me from my pain.

I held her close to me and began to speak.

"Yui, please just tell me you care about me."

She held me back. "Of course. I care about you now. I'll care about you tomorrow and the day after too. I'll care about you for as long as I can. And if you ever feel like you don't matter, I want you to promise me you'll let me help."

"I promise."

Our faces flushed, with tears in our eyes, our lips met once more.