The next couple days were in limbo.

Despite Peter's growing infatuation with Micky, and despite the fact that Micky was on his mind every waking hour and in his dreams every sleeping hour, and despite the fact that he had been neglecting Ty, not because he wanted to avoid her but simply because he was too hung up on Micky to remember to return her calls…

Despite all that, he stuck by his vow to take things slow.

He kept his distance. He cut out all physical contact, afraid of what it could lead to.
He made sure not to say anything that could be misinterpreted as sexual.
Everything was very platonic.

He knew he was overcompensating but he couldn't help it.
With all the thoughts and desires going through his mind on a minute to minute basis, there was no telling what would happen if he let his guard down even a little.

He knew that Micky was probably confused by his behavior. Especially when he caught Peter gazing at him with an intense fire in his eyes. But he didn't say anything.
And neither did Peter.

But it wasn't like they didn't talk. They did:

'I just heard the new Beatles album.'
'That's cool.'

'Have you seen my comb? It was my favorite comb and I can't find it.'
'No, sorry man.'

'You pick up any eggs while you were out?'
'Yeah.'

…So maybe they weren't real conversations. It was just a way to feel normal while they took things slow, or rather, while they took things nowhere.
And they both knew it.
It was clear when they lay in their beds at night facing each other.
Looking into each other's eyes.

Looking but not talking.
Looking but not touching.
Looking but not acting on the fantasies that continued to build in their minds.

It was Thursday evening. It had been a grueling practice. They'd been going since 9am. With only 10 days until they hit the road, Mike had amped up their practices. Despite Davy's improvement on drums, Mike had come down hard on him. Davy was exhausted and getting very irritable.
Peter didn't blame him.

As soon as Mike had called an end to today's practice. Davy announced that he was 'off to see Olivia, would be takin' the car, screw you guys and wouldn't be back until mornin'.'

"Davy, man," Mike, who was accustomed to car privileges, said. "What are we supposed to do if we want to go out?"

"Don't know, ask Peter. He gets around fine without wheels….or you could take the RV." He laughed. "Well, see ya guys."

"Hey, now wait a minute!" Mike yelled after him. "Don't stay out too late. We're starting early again tomorrow."

Davy gave a little wave of acknowledgment and left.

Mike stood by the hall looking irritated. "What a little douche…. just taking the car like that."

"Ah, come on Mike, Davy never takes the car out." Peter said. "Where you wanna go anyway?"

"Well I had wanted to go down to the Troubadour with Chip, although I haven't really talked to him since that party. I hope he's not pissed about me kissing on Gina."

"Mike you were doing a little more than kissing."

"Yeah…" Mike looked guilty. "You know, I'm not even sure how that started. It's really weird. She's cute but I don't really dig her like that."

"Well, he was pretty out there. He probably doesn't even remember."

"I hope you're right."

"Well maybe we can go down to Van Go-Go's. I know it's not as big of a music scene but it might be fun."

Mike looked thoughtful. "Hmm, yeah you know I haven't been in a while. And it would probably be a good idea to talk to Fred and line up some gigs for when we get back."

.

Half an hour later they were walking down Beechwood on their way to the little club.

Micky had decided to join them.
But he wasn't going to drink… not tonight. He still had himself on probation.

"So…uh, Mick," Mike said "I know you gave Davy that whole spiel about not wanting to date but I bet the Taylor girls are there. I know you always had a little thing for Eileen. Now that you're a free man...?"

Micky looked up. Mike was giving him a knowing grin.
Eileen … damn. He had almost forgotten about her. She was a cute little blond with a fantastic rack who never missed a gig when they played at Van Go-Go's.
She certainly seemed to like him. She always made a fuss when he came down off the platform. She'd constantly hang around him and 'ooh' and 'ahh' over his voice. 'If only I had guy like you to sing me to sleep every night.' Then she'd wink…..a clear invitation. But..that was when he was Lin's loyal puppy.

But he wasn't her puppy anymore was he?

And besides, puppies grew into dogs, didn't they?
Boy did he feel like a dog.

The only problem was that, while he was horny as a motherfucker, he needed to figure things out with Pete before throwing himself into some random one night stand.

"You really think she'll be there?" He asked Mike.

Mike laughed. "I don't know. I think so. She usually is."

Micky looked at Peter.

Peter smiled but the smile didn't quite meet his eyes.

Micky looked down at the ground as he walked.
No, it was a bad idea. And he couldn't do that to Pete.

Why not?... It's not like you're in a relationship. What are you waiting for? It's not like anything is even happening between you guys.

We're going slow.

You're not going at all.

He's just being careful.

Yeah well there's careful and then there's 'careful.' And besides why does it matter anyway?

Because I want to find out where this thing goes with him.

So? That doesn't mean you can't get a little ass on the side.

But that would be cheap wouldn't it?

Maybe. But you've been wanting to fuck her for over a year, now.

Well, Pete wouldn't do that to me.

What are you talking about? He already did do that to you, remember?

Oh…that was right. The party. Denise's party. He'd slept with the girl Davy wanted to hook Micky up with.
Actually, that was a little fucked up now that he thought about it.

See? Just get fucked… Just get good and fucked. You need it. You deserve it. It doesn't matter.

.

When they got to Vincent Van Go-Go's it was a much more happenin' scene then the last time Peter was there. All the regulars were hanging out..including Eileen and her sister Shannon. When Eileen saw them walk in she ran up to them.

"Oh my god, you guys! I haven't seen you in forever! Are you guys still in a band?!"

"Yeah." Mike said. "We're just touring more now. Haven't gotten back into the local gig thing this time around."

"Oh, thank god! I would be so sad if you guys broke up."

"Speaking of broke up…" Mike said slyly and pointed his thumb at Micky.

"Really?!" She seemed ecstatic. But then she caught herself. "Really?" She put on a sympathetic face. "Poor thing."

Mike winked before walking over to the bar and settling in a seat.

Micky glared after him.

Eileen looked at Micky. "I'm so sorry you and Lin broke up. I'm sure you'll meet the right girl soon" She batted her eyes.

He didn't say anything. Instead he looked at Peter, who still didn't look thrilled but nodded and smiled. "Get your kicks, man."

He turned back to Eileen. "Wanna dance?"

She grinned and led him to the dance floor.

.

Peter joined Mike at the bar.

"Hey Peter." Cindy said coming up to take his order.

Peter smiled. "How's my girl?"

Cindy blushed "You know I'd be much better if you boys started coming around more again. I know you're busy but we sure miss your faces."

Mike smirked. "Is that all you miss?"

Cindy blushed again.

Peter rolled his eyes. Mike and Cindy had had a fling or 12 over the years. It tended to go south. Romantically they were both too bullheaded but they got along great as friends...which was probably why they kept thinking a relationship would work.

Mike and Cindy chatted for a while.

Peter tuned them out until he heard Mike mentioning some gigs when they got back in a few weeks.

"Well," Cindy said. "I know the Mermen are going to be playing Friday nights and every other Saturday but I'm sure we can work something out. I'll talk to Fred about it." She smiled. "You know I'd much rather see your handsome face up there."

Mike grinned and touched her hand. "I bet you would."

Peter rolled his eyes again.

"You know I get off in 15 minutes." Cindy said.

"Oh yeah?" Mike glanced at Peter. "Do you care?"

For the second time in less than an hour Peter found himself saying "No it's cool. Go get your kicks, man."

Mike smiled and went to the men's room to 'freshen up'.

Peter turned in his stool to look out on the dance floor. It was packed tonight. He spotted Micky and Eileen dancing in the corner. She was all over him. He seemed to be enjoying himself.

He felt a wave of sadness.
He knew that Micky had had the hots for her. And now he was finally getting his shot.
But what had this past week even been about if Micky was just going to go off and start something up with Eileen...who by the way might be cute as a button but also had the personality and intelligence of one.

Peter sighed and turned back around. He ordered another drink from Cindy. "So you and Mike?"

"Yeah I know what you're thinking." She said.

"Nah..maybe one of these times it will work out." He teased.

She laughed.

Just then Mike came out of the bathroom.

"Gee Mike you sure take a while to freshen up." Peter said.

Mike sat down looking embarrassed. He leaned in so Cindy couldn't hear. "It's my hair. The little flip thing in the front isn't cooperating."

"Ah come on Mike," Peter said loudly. "I think you look beautiful." He turned to Cindy. "Doesn't Mike look beautiful? His hair is so gorgeous."

Cindy played along. "Oh yeah it real nice…..gorgeous."

Peter grinned at Mike, who was giving a death stare.

"Well I'm gonna clock out." Cindy said. "I'm parked around back. I'll meet you there."

Mike stood and finished the remainder of his drink. He sat it down in front of Peter and leaned in. "I'm gonna get you for that." He said.

Peter laughed and punched Mike's shoulder. "Have fun." He said as Mike smiled and left.

And then he was alone at the bar.

He turned back again to spot Micky.
He was in the same place.
But he wasn't dancing anymore.
Eileen had him against the wall. She was whispering in his ear.

Peter watched as Micky's hands ran up her back and then back down to her hips. Suddenly Micky looked up at Peter.
Peter looked away quickly. He didn't want Micky to think he was spying.
He turned back to the bar.

A few minutes later he felt a soft touch on his shoulder.

"Hey Pete."

Peter looked up at Micky. Eileen was nowhere to be seen.

Micky sat down next to him. He looked around in a paranoid manner. "So uh, I think I might go home with Eileen."

Peter's heart fell.

Micky leaned closer and gave him an intense look. "If you don't want me to... I don't ha-

"-Come on Mick. You don't owe me anything. I'm not going to tell you what to do." Peter cut him off.

"I'm just saying..." Micky eyes were pleading.

What was this? Did Micky want to stay? Was he asking Peter to ask him to stay?
Peter opened his mouth to do just that when Eileen came up behind them.

"You ready?" She asked.

Micky was still searching Peter's eyes.

Peter closed his mouth.

"Yeah." Micky said as he broke eye contact.

"Great!" She sounded too eager.

Micky stood up, and as they walked past Peter, he ran his hand along Peter's shoulder blades.

And then they were gone and once again...Peter was all alone at the bar.
He chugged the rest of his beer and looked around. Even though he knew many of the people here, he wasn't really in a social mood anymore.

He called Cindy's replacement, Norman, over to settle his and Mike's tab.

Then he left.

.

It was a long lonely walk.

He'd thought tonight would go differently. He didn't think his buddies would abandon him for chicks...but then again, he'd told them to get their kicks.
Now he was kicking himself.

And besides, why wouldn't they leave him for a chick?
That was what guys did.
That was what guys did; they chose the pussy.
They didn't get all mellowed out and depressed and pine over each other...
No. That wasn't what guys did.

He kicked a rock in his path.

He blamed himself, really.
He shouldn't have gotten so hung up.
It was a little unsettling to realize just how hung up he'd gotten. The past couple days he'd felt a pull in his heart. It was a feeling that resembled something he hadn't felt since he and Ty had first starting dating.

Attraction, yes. Infatuation, yes. But there was also a little more.
He had a feeling he knew what it was but it was pointless to think about now.
Now that nothing would ever come of it.

Maybe it was for the best though.
Maybe he'd had been a fool.
It was good that it ended before it even really began.

Finally he got home. He showered and got around for bed. It was only 10:30 but fuck it. He felt lethargic.
He lay down.

He thought about Micky. Micky and his lips.
He wished he could taste them again.
Finally he dozed off.

Micky was in Eileen's car. She had driven them out on Sweetwater. He'd thought they were going to go back to her place but then she'd informed him that she still lived with her parents and they didn't let boys in the house.

"Oh… ok." He'd said.

"It doesn't matter though." She'd giggled. "I know a place we can go."

He felt like he was in high school again as they made out in her car.

He'd wanted this. He had.
When she had been dancing so close to him, rubbing herself against him, oh so slightly, he'd wanted to take her in the bathroom and do her right there….. but then as she began talking about getting out of there and going somewhere private, he'd started to feel a little uneasy.

He'd looked up and seen Peter watching him and he knew why he felt uneasy:
He didn't want to go.

He'd wanted to ask Eileen to kindly get lost so that he could go pull a stool up next to Pete and spend the evening with him talking... or not.
And then they would walk home together and...well, when they got home?
A few of his fantasies from the last couple days rose to his mind.

But then Eileen had rubbed against him again and his penis had spoken for him. "Let's go." He'd said before he could stop himself.

.

And now here he was on a hill off Sweetwater about to fuck this cute little blond he'd had his eye on for a while and all he could think about was Pete.
Pete and the sad look Micky saw on his face as they were leaving.

Suddenly he just wanted to go home.

Eileen had moved her head down to his stomach and was now working on his pants.
He knew what was coming...and no doubt about it... it would feel good.
But he couldn't let it happen.

"Eileen…." He touched her shoulder. "Eileen, wait."

She looked up confused.

"I'm sorry. I can't do this."

She sat up. "What? Are you serious?"

He nodded.

She looked like she was about to cry. "But I thought you liked me."

"Yeah I ...I do." He sighed. Why was he doing this? Why didn't he just let her suck his cock? It would feel good and it would keep her from crying. "Look it's just..."

"-It's your ex isn't it?" She interrupted as she wiped at her eyes.

Lin was becoming a pretty good scapegoat in these situations.
"Yeah it's her. I just..well we were together for so long...this just feels..."

"-No, I get it." Her expression changed. "But you know…" She smiled slyly, playing with his zipper. "I could make you forget all about her."

"I'm sure you could." Micky breathed as re-buttoned his pants.

She sighed. "You want me to take you home, then?"

"Yeah."

.

The drive home was quiet. Neither of them spoke.

When they pulled up to the pad, Micky turned to Eileen. "It was fun."

"I guess."

"Sorry." He said.

"It's fine."

He nodded and leaned in to give her a quick kiss. "Goodnight." He said as he got out of the car.

.

When he got to the bedroom he was surprised to find Peter already home and in bed asleep…he'd only been out on Sweetwater for about an hour.

He quietly sat down on the edge of Peter's bed.

The moonlight was coming through the window and casting a glow on Peter's features. If Micky didn't know better he would have thought it was Peter himself who was glowing.

Peter, his light…

He touched Peter's back softly.

Peter's eyes fluttered opened. "Mick?"

"Hey Pete."

"Hey I thought you were with Eileen."

"I was."

Peter sat up. "How'd it go?"

Micky sighed. "Alright, but I wanted to come home."

"Why?"

Micky looked down. "I don't know... I just... did."

They looked at each other for a few moments before Micky wrapped his arms around Peter and hugged him. He held him for a few seconds and then he gently pressed his lips to Peter's. "Good night Pete." He said as he stood and went to his own bed.

Peter stayed as he was.
He touched his lips.
"Goodnight Micky."