I tend to disappear from here a LOT, huh?
Massive thank you to TheCagey for beta-ing this months ago.
You're gorgeous and I loves you.
It was more than a little uncomfortable. Steve and Bruce ate silently at the kitchen table, attempting not to eavesdrop on Tony and Pepper's argument. The pair had been at it for over ten minutes now, with Pepper's shrieking gradually crescendoing as the argument progressed. Miss Potts had not been impressed about being left uninformed about Tony's accident, initially taking it out on Nick Fury, before Tony had confessed to her that it had been he himself who had advised SHIELD not to. Pepper had burst into the tower, expression livid, just as the team had been waking up, and most of them had wisely retreated as quickly as they could. Bruce and Steve, however, had chosen breakfast over awkwardness, and if Bruce was feeling anything like Steve at that moment, they were both deeply regretting the decision.
Tony had woken up a mere three days ago, and had gradually been making his presence a little more known. Natasha and the others had dropped in to Tony's room from time to time, but it had been Steve who had offered to run Tony's errands. Thankfully, it had mostly been menial things; such as collecting certain things from his lab, ordering take out or doing his laundry. But there had been a few other tasks Tony had requested that Steve hadn't been so comfortable with. Helping change Tony's dressings brought up an overwhelming feeling of guilt in Steve, and a little of something else, as he usually had to do it just before Tony's showers, so the billionaire was often naked. Steve almost dropped his spoon into his cereal bowl at that thought, and Bruce raised a questioning brow.
"Nothing," Steve mumbled, "Just clumsy."
Pepper's voice grew louder then, as Tony's bedroom door evidently opened, before both Bruce and Steve cringed, the door slamming shut again. There was silence for a minute or so before the door reopened, and Tony shuffled into the kitchen a few moments later, scowl plastered along his face.
"Morning," Bruce said cheerfully, "Sleep well?"
"You're a terrible human being and I hate you," Tony replied flatly, heading to the fridge at a near snail's pace. Steve would usually have offered to get Tony's meal ready for him, but the playboy didn't seem in the mood for dealing with anybody too much at the present time.
"I slept pretty okay, thanks for asking," Bruce smiled teasingly, as Tony flipped him the bird from behind the fridge door, "So... care to explain what that was all about?"
"Nope."
"Sounded pretty serious," Bruce pressed, "You okay?"
"Yep."
"Not going to give me any more than that?"
"Nope."
Bruce smiled to himself and finished his cereal, before placing his bowl in the sink and leaving the room. Steve finished his as well, but decided to sit at the table for a few moments more. Bruce's discarded newspaper sat on the table, and Steve picked it up, eyes widening at the front page's headline. 'Tony Stark - Critical Condition'. That would explain Pepper's arrival at the tower this morning, Steve thought. It seemed that even the press had been more aware of Tony's medical condition than Pepper had.
Tony let out a small 'oof' as he sat across from Steve at the table, resting an elbow on it and his chin on his hand, watching Steve.
"Banner's trolling me. He knew damn well. He reads the papers, son of a bitch," Tony mumbled, taking a sip from his coffee, "How you doing, Cap?"
"Did you not... tell Pepper?" Steve asked, and Tony pinched at the bridge of his nose.
"No, I did not tell Pepper, as you may have heard through the banshee shrieking a mere few minutes ago," Tony said, seemingly frustrated, "And I don't need another lecture, Steve. I think I'd rather top myself."
Steve furrowed his brows and shook his head.
"I'm not planning on lecturing you. I was just curious as to why."
Tony let out a small groan, letting his head fall onto the table, as Steve merely waited. He put on his best Captain America face and let his eyes burn holes into the top of Tony's head.
"Stop doing that..." Tony murmured, but Steve didn't budge.
"Tony, Pepper looks after Stark Industries for you. Your entire company. The least you could have done, the right thing you should have done would be to te-"
"I thought you weren't going to lecture?" Tony interrupted, raising weary eyes to meet Steve's.
"I wasn't planning to, but I guess I am."
"I thought I was doing the right thing, that's the point," Tony shook his head dejectedly. Steve watched as Tony seemed to fight with himself to even speak on the matter, and Steve suddenly felt guilty for pressuring Tony into it.
"I apologise, it's not my place."
Steve stood and took his bowl to the sink, rinsing it quickly, before he made to leave the room.
"When Pepper left, she said..." Tony paused, and Steve stopped, midway through the doorway, before meeting Tony's gaze, "She said one of the reasons was because I was 'too reckless. Too stubborn. Too dangerous to my own person', I believe is what she said."
Tony took a long drink from his coffee then, and offered a half shrug.
"I didn't tell her because I was worried she'd flip out," Tony explained slowly, "But I knew I was being looked after. I didn't think she needed to know until I was a little better, at the very least. And, well..."
"Now she knows," Steve offered, and Tony nodded, draining the rest of his coffee before standing and leaning on the table a little. Steve frowned at this, as Tony grimaced slightly. Steve's frown deepened considerably as he saw the dark liquid starting to seep through Tony's pyjamas.
"Tony, you're bleeding through," Steve chided, heading over to Tony's side and forcing the billionaire to lean against him. Steve pulled one of Tony's arms around his shoulder and stooped slightly, making sure he wasn't too tall of a walking aide for Tony's sake. Steve looped a hand around Tony's waist, and Tony wobbled slightly, causing Steve's hand to slip to Tony's bare hip. Steve silently cursed the fact that Tony's pants had slipped down just enough for that skin on skin contact to occur, before he swallowed thickly, and shook the thought from his mind, wordlessly guiding Tony back to his room. It was becoming dangerous for Steve's sanity to even be around Tony, and he didn't like it in the slightest.
Tony eased himself onto the bed, before groggily pulling his pyjama shirt and singlet off, lifting his arm to allow Steve to look at his dressings, grimacing as he did so.
"What's the damage?" Tony asked, as Steve knit his brows together. It looked as if Tony had burst his stitches, the patch of blood still growing, even as he looked from afar. Steve told him this, as Tony began tugging at the medical tape holding his dressings against his body.
"Give Banner a call, would you?" Tony said with a small grunt, pulling the dressing off with a tug, before holding it firmly against the wound. Steve was about to pull out his phone, before he realised Tony had been speaking to Jarvis.
"He's on his way, sir."
"He's gonna love this," Tony smirked, lifting the bloodied gauze to peer at the seeping wound.
"Keep it covered," Steve chided, as Tony sulkily pressed the dressing back down. Steve was reminded of a child with an adhesive strip, peeking at their injury repeatedly for mere curiosity. Tony was childlike in many ways, but it was his curiosity that got to Steve the most, in the best kind of ways. It was something that made Tony fun, a little dangerous, and a little more appealing than it should have. Steve shook the image from his mind and inwardly sighed, a sick feeling clenching at his stomach. These feelings weren't normal, he told himself over and over, wishing they would dissipate as quickly as they'd arrived. Tony was a male, Tony was a friend, Tony was a team mate, and... Tony was a male. Steve had read the papers, he'd seen television shows, all of which said that that kind of thing was somewhat accepted in this time, but there were some old values of his that he just couldn't shake. Besides, he knew very well that he was a lover of women. How could someone so fond of women have such an unnatural attraction to males as well? Steve literally tried to shake the thoughts from his mind, although a niggling one kept trying to press forward.
He wasn't attracted to males.
He was, however, undeniably attracted to Tony Stark.
"You okay?" Tony asked, as Steve nodded perhaps a little too quickly. Tony gave him an odd look, before Bruce let himself in and began clucking his tongue at the injured Avenger.
"You're a worry, Stark," Bruce sighed, as he pulled off the dressing and shook his head, "Strip off and we'll check your legs while I'm harassing you."
Steve cringed inwardly. They'd needed a skin graft for Tony's abdomen, and the staff at the hospital had taken some from the back of Tony's thighs. It wasn't the prettiest sight in the world, and he was already feeling a little uncomfortable with Tony sitting there casually shirtless as it was. He doubted that removing the genius' pants from the equation would do him any good.
"I'll give you your privacy," Steve nodded, as Tony snorted.
"Yes, cause you haven't seen me buck ass nude at least once a day for the past three days, right," Tony said drily, "But you're happy to let me be naked in Doctor Strange's company here."
"I resent that," Bruce said to Tony, as the playboy stood up and began wriggling out of his tracksuit pants.
"Besides, it's okay to be a little jealous of the physique, Cap, I understand," Tony teased, now standing in nothing more than his boxers. Steve frowned impatiently and turned away.
"If your morals were as strong as your ego, we'd get along a heck of a lot better, Tony," Steve retorted, before shaking his head and stepping outside, Bruce letting out a small laugh as he did so.
Steve couldn't stop all of the thoughts racing through his mind, and it was making him nauseous. He needed to gather his thoughts, and so, considered the gym, before he unintentionally eavesdropped on Tony and Bruce's banter from the other side of the wall.
"That was odd," Bruce remarked, voice dripping with amusement.
"What's with that expression?" Tony asked suspiciously.
"Nothing, nothing," Bruce defended, "Just entertained by the captain being so... awkward."
"He's an old fashioned guy."
"You didn't have to tease him like that."
"He didn't have to comment."
"I think you're glad he did."
"I think you're loco in the coco," Tony said a little more firmly, "Are you even going to patch me up, doc, or are you happy gawking at my dangly bits?"
"I can't believe you just said that," Bruce said, letting out a small laugh, even as Tony let out a hiss of pain. Steve shook his head at the bizarre exchange, before heading for the gym.
Tony had almost completely recovered within a fortnight. Bruce had been suspicious with this, but Tony had merely shrugged it off, tapping his arc reactor and stating 'I've just got a good heart' as his reason for his speedy recovery. Steve, on the other hand, had been avoiding Tony as much as was physically possible. He still spent time with the man, but far less than he had pre-accident, and usually only when the others were around. Steve was also concerned that Tony was beginning to notice. If everything went according to plan, however, he could squash his fleeting interest in Tony before the billionaire even noticed what he was up to. After all, SHIELD was yet to give them any news on the Acidity situation, other than 'they were looking into it', so Steve doubted he'd need to actually work with Tony any time soon.
Sometimes SHIELD having so many secrets was a blessing.
Her name was Laura. She was a pretty girl, curvy in all the right places, beautiful eyes, and she had stirred something in Steve that he wasn't quite able to resist. He'd met her in the park whilst on a run, trying to clear his mind from the individual who had been plaguing it the most. He'd gone to her apartment with her for coffee, and as ashamed as he was to admit it, he'd bedded her without getting so much as a number in return. It had been messy, it had been passionate, and it had been horribly unsatisfying, despite her claiming the exact opposite. Steve had left whilst she showered and returned home, disgraced with his behaviour. She was beautiful; the experience had been the release that Steve had needed, and yet, far from what he wanted.
As he'd stepped inside, hoping to discreetly make it back to his room, he'd run straight into Tony, and an inexplicable wave of guilt and shame washed over him, as his heart caught in his chest. He felt as if what he'd done was dirty, and on top of that, for whatever reason, he felt as if he'd done wrong by Tony by acting in such a manner.
"You uh... You ok there, Cap?" Tony smirked, as Steve nodded distantly.
"Went for a run. The park must have really knocked it out of me."
"Sure looks like it. The park wearing Maybelline these days?" Tony smirked, stepping forward and wiping a smudge of lipstick from Steve's throat and showing him the pink smear, "Or maybe... she's born with it?"
Steve's cheeks flared, but he didn't say a word. Tony looked thoroughly amused then, waiting for Steve to try and get himself out of that one, but Steve refused to give Tony the satisfaction. So instead, they stood there, locked in a battle of will, Steve watching as Tony took a long swig from his mug of coffee. Tony held his gaze, slowly raising a brow, before Steve finally broke eye contact, making a half hearted attempt of an excuse to leave, before disappearing down the hallway.
Steve spent the rest of the afternoon trying to push away the guilt that had washed over him in waves, and trying to decipher what the heck could have been going through Tony's mind when their eyes had been locked together like that.
He failed at both.
Steve had been in the gym when the accusation finally flew. He'd been punching at a sandbag for so long that his knuckles were starting to ache. He'd paused and rolled his shoulders, closing his eyes and stretching as he did so. When he'd opened them a few moments later, he was met with a very serious gaze from Tony Stark. He'd jumped slightly, offering a weak smile.
"Oh. Hey Tony, you startled me a lit-"
"You avoiding me, Spangles?" Tony cut straight in, as Steve cracked his knuckles, turning his attention from Tony's gaze and back to the punching bag, throwing a few punches as he spoke. Steve had indeed been avoiding Tony, even more so than usual since their little encounter in the hall.
"I don't know what you mean," Steve huffed, continuing to punch and hoping that he didn't sound as guilty as he'd felt. He was still very much obsessing over Tony, and Steve had been so bitterly disappointed by that fact that he had barely left the gym for the past three days, hoping to avoid Tony whenever possible. Now the very person he'd been trying to avoid seemed to be actively seeking him out. He inwardly groaned.
"I mean ever since I nearly, you know, died and all, you've gradually been slipping off my radar," Tony said casually, crossing his arms, "If it weren't for Jarvis, I wouldn't have even known where you were today."
Steve made a mental note to not be so friendly to Tony's AI in future.
"Just been getting some gym work in, in the quieter times," Steve lied through his teeth, chancing a glance at Tony, who was practically boring holes into Steve's gaze, "Not avoiding you."
There was a moment of silence then, aside from the steady pounding of Steve's fists against the punching bag, before Tony gave a small 'hmph'.
"Cause of your reputation as America's virtuous sweetheart, I'm going to let you dupe me into believing you this once," Tony said, as Steve felt a small sense of relief wash over him, "However, because you are not avoiding me, we are going out for lunch."
Steve's blood ran a little cooler, and he stopped punching the bag to wipe the sweat from his brow, leaning forward to rest his hands on his knees. He fought the urge to swear as he looked up and met Tony's gaze. Stark had him right where he wanted him. If he turned him down, he'd be caught out as a liar. If he agreed to go out, Tony would have won the unspoken battle of wits they were fighting right at that moment. Tony must have seen the exact moment that Steve gave way, because even before the captain could speak, Tony was nodding and heading out the door.
"I'll meet you at the lifts in twenty. Have a shower or something," Tony wrinkled his nose at this, before he disappeared from Steve's view. Steve sighed softly, once Tony was out of earshot, unwrapping his fists, before heading to the showers, his thoughts racing faster than his mind could process them. He wasn't quite sure what he had signed up for with being Tony's friend, but he was starting to think it involved the sacrifice of his sanity.
Steve chewed on a handful of fries as he watched Tony signing an autograph for a tourist. He and Tony had ordered their food and been chatting casually when the woman had approached, and Steve had been a little disgruntled in spite of himself. Despite his self made promise not to spend too much time with his friend, he had sorely missed their casual banter, and his brain had thrown out all reasoning in favour of indulging in a little quality time merely being in Tony's company. Once Steve had relaxed a little and resigned to the fact that he wasn't getting away from Tony easily, things had been exactly how they were pre-accident, and he realised that things didn't have to be awkward between the two. He just had to mind what he said and did, especially since Tony had a sharper eye than most when it came to reading people.
"Your first time in America, you say?" Tony asked, pulling Steve from his musings, as the woman nodded enthusiastically.
"America is very beautiful!" She beamed, and Tony nodded, scrawling along her copy of Who magazine, Tony's face plastered across the cover.
"Land of the free. Have you met my friend here?" Tony then tilted his head towards Steve, whose attention suddenly snapped to the tourist's, "Do you know who this is?"
The tourist narrowed her eyes, seemingly in thought, before her jaw dropped slightly.
"Captain... America?!" She beamed, letting out a small squeal as she bounced on her heels. Steve offered a small smile and nodded awkwardly.
"I am a very big fan, Captain America!" She beamed, holding the magazine towards him, "I'm sorry, you look different without your mask. You have... how you say... very beautiful hair..."
She looked at him shyly then, from beneath lowered lashes, biting her lip slightly as she did so. Steve swallowed thickly, his cheeks burning as he signed her magazine and smiled politely.
"Thank you kindly, ma'am," He nodded, his voice a little raspier than intended, and he had determined that yes, he was still attracted to females. The woman laughed girlishly, before the restaurant staff politely escorted her back to her own table, after a barely noticeable hand gesture from Tony brought them over.
"I don't often get overshadowed, but it seems when she said America was beautiful, she had more than just the country in mind," Tony teased, as Steve blushed, busying himself with his fries.
"She wouldn't have given me a second glance if you hadn't had given her a clue. I'm surprised she picked up on who I was at all, truthfully," Steve shrugged nonchalantly, stuffing a few fries in his mouth.
"She picked it up from the headlights," Tony replied casually, brazenly snatching a few chips from Steve's plate as he did so, "So she would have gotten it anyway, I just nudged her a little."
"The headlights?" Steve asked, raising a brow as he held Tony's gaze full on. Tony paused at the action, his fingers holding a few chips a mere inch from his open mouth for several moments, before he popped them in his mouth and chewed, clearing his throat in the process.
"Those," Tony gestured with his hand at Steve's eyes, a loose chip still dangling from his fingers, "Headlights. Like... a deer caught in them? You seriously didn't get that one?"
"Nope," Steve shrugged, picking up his burger, as Tony shook his head.
"Basically, I'm saying it's your eyes. Killer gaze," Tony explained in all seriousness, languidly chewing on his burger, before returning to his previous topic of discussion before their fangirl had arrived.
Steve was only half listening, partially because he could barely understand a word falling from Tony's lips (Something about a new energy project he was working on), and partially because he was still in shock with their exchange. Steve was drawn into thinking there was a little sincerity behind that offhanded compliment. Plus, Tony had seemed almost snared by Steve's gaze, and Steve had felt that expression on his own features on numerous occasions prior. But Steve was no fool. He knew that the human mind had ways of making someone believe what they wanted to believe from any given situation. He'd seen Tony with many women. Many, many women. He'd never once seen a man leave Tony's quarters, and truthfully, he wasn't sure that he'd ever want to. He was having enough trouble accepting that perhaps, as opposed to being a homosexual, Steve was just... gay for Tony. Was that even a thing? Steve wasn't sure, but it wasn't exactly something Steve was rushing to find out either. He'd spent many hours now, trying to force the idea from his mind.
"You gonna eat those?" Tony asked, pulling Steve from his inner conflict once again, and gesturing at the captain's full plate of fries.
"I ate way too much," Steve frowned, pushing his plate towards Tony, who gave a lopsided grin and all but dove into Steve's remaining fries, "Where does it all go?"
Tony gave a questioning look then, gesturing at his own body.
"Having a physique this impressive burns a lot of calories," Tony said seriously, but Steve could see the teasing glint in Tony's eyes, as if a smile was lurking just out of reach of his lips.
"Understandably," Steve nodded just as seriously, "It must make day to day living incredibly difficult."
Tony snorted, almost inhaling a fry in the process, before shaking his head, leaving the rest of the fries on Steve's abandoned plate untouched, and meeting Steve's gaze for a few moments. Neither of them said a word, and Tony finally stood, placing a pair of sunglasses on and clapping Steve on the shoulder.
"Good to have you back," The playboy nodded, heading to pay for their meal, as Steve swallowed thickly, the tension from that gaze finally easing as Tony's eyes left his own.
Steve let out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding in, and followed Tony to the car.
Steve knew of the saying 'no rest for the wicked', but the team quickly learned it also applied to 'no rest for the good', once Fury showed up unannounced in the middle of the night and dragged the team into the kitchen. Both Steve and Bruce were looking beyond fatigued, whilst Natasha, Clint, Thor and Tony looked as if they hadn't even slept yet. Steve had the feeling that was likely only true for Tony.
"Apologies for the time, team," Fury said drily, "I'm sure you all need your beauty sleep as much as I do."
Tony stifled a snort at this, not very successfully, and Fury wisely disregarded the noise before pressing on.
"However, it was decided that this particular piece of intelligence was worth sharing at the nearest possible time."
"Acidity?" Bruce asked, but Fury shook his head.
"Not quite. We've had a chat with Selvig, and it turns out Stark may have been correct with his initial assumption," Fury said, tone expressing his very apparent dislike of having to admit that out loud.
"I've always been under the impression that people could save a lot of time if they'd just admit I'm right from early on in the game," Tony shrugged casually, leaning back in his chair, "What's that quote that I like, Jarvis?"
"I believe it's along the lines of 'Most entrepreneurial ideas will sound crazy, stupid and uneconomic, and then they'll turn out to be right', sir. Reed Hastings," The AI said with its usual dry accent, and Steve bit back a smirk as he watched Fury struggle to not roll his eye.
"Are you accusing my brother of holding some part in this madness?" Thor asked defensively, practically bristling as he spoke, "Because he has not left Asgard, nor been permitted to so much as leave his quarters since I took him home."
"Not Loki, no," Fury replied patiently, "But as I'm sure you're aware, there are other entities out there other than our Asgardian accomplices. We believe this was some other kind of entity not of this world. I'm sure you'd agree that the beast you fought was a little out of the ordinary, to say the least."
"So what are you asking us to do?" Bruce asked, and Fury shook his head.
"For the time being, we want most of you to stay put. You, however, and our demigod friend here," Nick tilted his head in Thor's direction, "Are going to come back with us to headquarters until we can investigate this a little further. The rest of you are now on standby."
"You mean we weren't before?" Tony asked drily, and Fury didn't even justify the remark with a response, before he nodded at Bruce and Thor, both of whom followed him from the dining room. Tony broke the brief silence with an obnoxiously loud yawn, stretching as he did so, and Clint shot him his best death glare as the archer headed back to bed.
"Well, that was a spectacular waste of time," Tony said, and Steve noticed then that there was a slight slur to the inventor's speech, "Back to the shop."
"I'd recommend sleeping," Natasha said warningly, "We don't know when we might get called out and you could probably use some sleep. You are still getting over a pretty big recovery period."
Tony shrugged nonchalantly as he left, leaving Natasha pursing her lips slightly in frustration. Steve could relate. It was also Steve's task to pull Tony in if he started getting out of hand, and if Tony's fatigue or general drunkenness was going to potentially put the team at risk, it was Steve's job to stop it from happening. Steve bit back a sigh as he got up, and Natasha gave a knowing smirk as she stood too.
"Hey captain?"
"Mm?"
"Good luck," She nodded, before disappearing in the direction of her quarters.
Steve had a feeling he'd need it.
Steve stepped into Tony's workshop, rock music blaring at him from the moment the glass door slid open. Tony himself was at something or another with a blow torch, mask haphazardly thrown over his face as if it were done so as a second thought. He was nodding his head in time to the music and taking intermittent swigs from a glass of some liquid, before pausing as Steve approached him with a frown. Tony made a gesture with his hand and the music died, before the inventor flipped up his mask.
"Cap'n," Tony nodded in recognition as he turned the torch off and hung it on a railing. Steve kept his eyes on it, making sure Tony had fully deactivated it, before returning his gaze to the billionaire's.
"What are you doing down here?" Steve asked, as Tony gestured at the various bits of scrap metal around him, a lazy smile creeping along his lips.
"Creating, captain," Tony said simply, that slight slur still licking at his words. Steve took the glass from Tony's fingertips and gave the liquid a whiff, pulling back abruptly as he was almost overcome with the smell of alcohol.
"Is this... straight whisky?" Steve asked, brows knitting together, as Tony took the glass back and slammed back the last of it. He grimaced slightly, before nodding and turning back around.
"I believe so, yes," Tony said casually, running gloved fingers along whatever he had just been welding, before holding it up for Steve to look at. It was a replica of Steve's shield, but made out of a different material.
"Now you have a spare," Tony said by way of explanation, thrusting it in Steve's direction, as the captain took it and slid it over his arm. He wasn't going to lie; he was a little impressed. It was a little lighter than his usual shield, but seemed otherwise exactly the same.
"It's almost exactly the same as your usual one, just changed the alloy a little so it was a tad lighter. Should actually be a little stronger too," Tony nodded, as Steve inspected the edge of the shield, running his fingers along it. Steve paused then, remembering why he'd come down here in the first place.
"Thank you, Tony," He said firmly, "But don't you think you should be resting right about now?"
"I'm not all that tired, truthfully," Tony replied, but Steve knew that had to have been a lie, if Tony's yawning at Fury's briefing had been any indication.
"I think you're lying to me, Stark."
Tony turned back to his desk and got to work etching at something, shaking his head as he did so.
"I think you're paranoid, Rogers."
Steve took the playboy by the elbow and spun Tony around to face him, the billionaire's face moderately startled as he did so. Steve put on his best Captain America face and held Tony's gaze.
"What's going on?"
"Dunno what you mean," Tony said non-committally, "You can see what I'm doing."
"That's not what I meant, and you know it," Steve said firmly, fighting back the frustration bubbling up inside him. Tony was being stubborn, and he knew it. He was also off somehow, and Steve was having a hard time interpreting the other man's expression.
"I'm a grown man, Rogers," Tony said defiantly, his chin tilted as he spoke, "I'm pretty sure I'm capable of taking care of myself."
"It's not looking like it right now," Steve said a little colder than he'd meant to, stepping forward to make sure that Tony couldn't back away or walk off even if he tried, "Look at yourself. You're not sleeping, you're drinking again in the middle of the week, and into all hours of the night, come to think of it. So I'll ask again, what's going on?"
Tony parted his lips as if he were going to say something, but stopped short. He pulled his elbow from Steve's vice like grip and shook his head.
"Not a thing," He said quietly, "Let me finish my work, captain, and I'll head to bed when I'm good and ready. Worse comes to worst, I'm sure Fury will have us jet setting. I can catch a few winks on the plane."
"You're completely irresponsible," Steve snapped, eyes flaring as he glared at Tony through the distance of a mere few inches, "You need to start thinking of what's best for the team and stop focusing on just yourself."
"And you are completely overbearing," Tony snapped just as quickly, as Tony jabbed Steve in the chest, broadening the space between them, "I'm not about to bend to your every demand just because of your military history, pops. You may be leader of this group, Rogers, but I don't remember taking a vote, and rank doesn't mean shit when you're not a soldier. So don't expect me to be throwing down the respect card any time soon, because I don't owe you or anybody in this little freak show posse a God damn thing."
Steve froze at this, as he let the words wash over him. He stepped back from Tony completely, as he watched the realisation and immediate regret sweep over the playboy's face at what he'd just said. Steve was reeling a little. He hadn't realised he'd been overstepping bounds, or that Tony was even harbouring such resentment within him. His mind struggled to click into gear, as the silence continued for a few moments, neither of them knowing what to say, and Tony seemingly in as much shock as Steve was. It was the captain who was first to break the silence, clearing his throat and running a hand through his hair.
"Well," Steve said softly, swallowing thickly as Tony visibly struggled to come up with an excuse for his actions, "Sorry to have bothered you, Mister Stark. If you do feel as if you'd like to remain a member of this team, please let us know."
"Steve, wait, I-"
Steve gave a polite nod, before turning and heading out of the workshop.
"Steve!" He heard Tony call, before the inventor gave an audible sound of frustration. Regardless, Tony didn't follow, and Steve wasn't sure what he'd have said or done in the case that he had.
When he woke the next day, Steve reassured himself that it had been the alcohol talking, but one thing he'd learnt from Tony was that on some instances, he was at his most honest when tanked. The blonde gave a sigh as he stretched out across his bed, still feeling horrendously fatigued, despite miraculously sleeping the whole night through. He still wasn't exactly sure what had happened last night, nor what Tony had really meant in his alcohol fuelled outburst.
"Captain Rogers, sir?" Jarvis piped up, and Steve startled, "Apologies, captain, but Mister Stark has asked me to request your presence once you had awoken."
"Oh," Steve said dumbly, as there was an extended moment of silence. He wasn't quite sure what he was meant to do, or say, or even if he was in the mood to deal with Tony right at that moment, so he chose instead to roll back over and close his eyes. If worse came to worst, he could sleep on it a little longer.
"Shall I let Mister Stark know when to expect you, sir?"
Steve was sorely tempted to flip Jarvis off, before he realised the immaturity of that particular thought and opted for a soft sigh instead.
"No, Jarvis. You may let Mister Stark know not to expect me at all, at this present time," Steve said as politely as he could, dragging himself to sit up. Trying to sleep would be a futile effort, so he may as well go out for a jog.
"Very well, sir."
Steve swung his legs over the side of the bed, picking his tracksuit pants off of the floor and pulling them on before the cold had a chance to set in. He'd shower later, he reasoned, as he pulled on a singlet and headed for the kitchen. Clint was at the table, prodding at his cereal with his spoon, staring flatly at the spot before him.
"Good morning," Steve greeted, and Clint gave a small grunt in reply. The assassin was far from a morning person, and so the captain decided to leave their interaction at that. He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and drank it down, leaning against the bench as he did so, and reached into his pocket to make sure he'd remembered to grab his phone. Just as he did so, it buzzed, and he startled slightly, pulling it out. It was a text message from Bruce.
'Have you heard from Tony? Get him to call me pls. Thnx Cap.'
So Tony was avoiding Bruce, it seemed. Steve bit back the sigh that threatened to escape and steeled his nerve, refilling his water bottle as he did so. He was not going to give into Tony's behaviour. The playboy would come around, Steve was sure, and he wasn't going to do a damn thing to try and convince him to do so. Tony himself needed to decide what Tony wanted, not Steve. Steve's phone buzzed again, this time with an incoming call from Tony himself, which Steve promptly declined. And declined. And declined again. Not today, he reminded himself firmly, before he headed out the door and into the elevator that would take him to the lower access floors.
Stark tower was primarily offices and exhibition rooms, mostly accessible to the public. However, due to the sensitive nature of the residents living in the higher floors, the security at the tower was in a league of its own. You didn't so much as go to the bathroom without a pass card and other security measures that Tony wouldn't even mention being put into place. Added on to that, there wasn't a room in the tower where Jarvis wasn't able to make his presence known. Steve found it comforting in some ways, and entirely unsettling in others. Steve tried to shrug it off as he stepped onto the elevator and pressed the down button, but Jarvis wasn't making it easy.
"Heading for a run, captain?"
"Are you asking for your own sake, or Tony's?" Steve asked drily, as the elevator began to descend.
"Am I permitted to answer both, sir?"
"Yes. Am I permitted to not entirely believe you?"
"Rightfully so, captain."
Steve smiled in spite of himself. Technology had come so very far in such a short space of time, and if Steve were to pick a favourite piece of technology, he would begrudgingly crown Jarvis with the title.
"Did he sleep at all?" Steve murmured, as the elevator neared his desired floor. Jarvis paused briefly, seemingly unsure whether or not he was meant to answer, before he did so anyway.
"Well, he headed to his quarters almost as soon as you left, sir."
"But did he sleep?"
"...After some time, yes."
"Good," Steve nodded, as the doors chimed open and he walked down the hallway that led to yet another elevator that would take him down. Provided they had a keycard, Steve was now in the public domain. Seemingly not minding this fact whatsoever, Jarvis continued from an unknown source as Steve walked.
"Captain, Mister Stark is quite insistent on seeing you this morning," Jarvis paused, "perhaps after your run?"
Steve said nothing, and instead nodded politely at a woman walking by with an arm full of paperwork. The captain smiled at this as well, surprised that a staff member employed by Tony would be carrying manilla folders, of all things. Steve shook the thought away, however, his brows furrowing almost instantly. It would take some time for him to accept Tony's words, drunken or not. Yet, Steve was fighting a battle within himself, caught between wanting to automatically forgive Tony, and needing an excuse to distance himself from him.
Steve stepped into the second elevator and pushed the button to go down, politely smiling and nodding his head at people as they boarded. Steve was a little grateful for the fact that most didn't recognise him on first glance when they came across him, due to the whole 'wearing a mask' thing. Steve appreciated it now more than ever, happy to be left to his thoughts.
"Steve?" A voice rang through the elevator then, and Steve inwardly groaned. Tony seemed to have hijacked the intercom, much to the confusion of the other passengers.
"Don't make me stop that elevator, Steve," Tony warned, and Steve fought the urge to rub at his temples. He could feel another headache coming on.
"Yes, Tony?" Steve replied slowly, as the other elevator passengers chattered excitedly to each other. Steve was sure he'd heard a kid at the front say 'It's Tony Stark. He's in our elevator!'
"You've been ignoring me, Steve."
"You've been approaching me through Jarvis, Tony."
"That would be because the almighty Captain America seems to hate answering his phone. "
Now that the elevator passengers realised who Steve was, they eagerly turned to face him, as Steve shifted uncomfortably on his feet.
"Now that I've made your elevator ride sufficiently awkward, will you answer your phone if I call?" Tony asked, just as the elevator hit the ground floor. Steve didn't say a word, merely stepping off of the elevator and heading straight for the door. One of the security guards nodded to something said in his earpiece, and Steve merely raised a brow as he was approached. The guard merely stepped back and let him through. Steve kept a neutral expression as he stepped outside of the tower, before stretching briefly. He was outside and instantly more at ease, knowing that even Jarvis couldn't be everywhere at once. He smiled slightly to himself, before he took off, not looking behind him.
There was something very peaceful about jogging for Steve. It was rhythmic, it was repetetive, and he was able to clear his head easier when jogging than any other task he'd tried so far. He often enjoyed merely taking in his surroundings and observing the various people that would pop up along the way. Fashion sense, ideals, music taste and street language had all changed drasticaly since he was a younger man, and something about it all fascinated him to no end. He'd often stop by a lake about a half hour jog from the tower, where he'd take a breather and sit on a park bench, people watching at a more leisurely pace. Today was no different, as he took a seat and looked out across the water, his mind slowly starting to fill with thoughts once more. He hadn't fought with Tony like that since he'd said... Since he'd said things he'd regretted. It seemed as if Tony was regretting his words too, but Steve couldn't help the tendrils of self doubt that pre-serum Steve still had a habit of pushing through at times. He could still recall, back in the days, how very little confidence heroes of the battlefield had in Steve's leadership skills. Perhaps Tony was the same. Steve leaned back, resting his hands behind his head and watched a couple walk alongside the lake absent mindedly, fingers entwined. His eyes widened slightly, however, when he realised both parties were male. He chanced a look around and realised that nobody was looking. There were no jeers, there was no immediate threat of danger, and a group of jocks tossing a football to each other nearby barely even batted an eyelash. Steve felt that familiar unease well up inside him again as he realised that perhaps such a thing really was more widely accepted in this day and age. Yet, he couldn't quite accept it for himself just yet. He remembered quite clearly what happened to queers back in his time, and it was never pleasant.
"You look like you're lost," A familiar voice pulled him from his musings, as Steve looked up to see Tony standing beside the bench, hands tucked awkwardly into his jeans pockets. Steve looked back out to the water, his mouth pulling into a thin line as Tony sat beside him and let out a soft sigh, leaning forward on his knees. Steve chanced a glance, and the billionaire seemed thoughtful as he gazed out over the water. The man looked more tired than usual, but his eyes were bright and alert, and Steve was hit with a strange emotion when he realised Tony was stone cold sober.
"You look like you're sober," Steve murmured, turning his attention to his feet, as he too leaned forward on his knees.
"I am. I tend to lapse into complete and utter stupidity otherwise."
It was silent for a few moments, though not uncomfortably so, which Steve was secretly thankful for. Steve let Tony have a few moments to compose himself, and patiently waited for him to speak.
"I keep trying to think of excuses, cause I was pretty much always brilliant at bullshitting my ways out of problems. But this time, I don't think I have any to give you."
"It was the alcohol?" Steve suggested, and Tony gave a small smile, eyes not meeting Steve's.
"Nope."
"You were tired?" Steve offered, and Tony shook his head.
"Nope. I mean, well, yes," Tony gestured with his hands, as Steve was now so used to seeing him do, "I was tired. But no, that's not an excuse."
"I don't even know why you were drinking," Steve said drily, amused in spite of himself, "Or I'd try and help you out a little more."
"You ever feel like no matter what you do, the shit you do just isn't enough?" Tony asked, suddenly serious, as Steve felt a knot tighten in his stomach. Of course he knew. He'd lived that way for years, and he still felt it, knowing that even with all his training, the serum, and sheer will power, he'd still seen Bucky die. Steve remained silent.
"Destroy a terrorist organisation, save a small foreign town, halt a robot army invasion, save the city from a nuke, save the world from an alien invasion, twice," Tony frowned, his brows knitting together, "And you're still lectured for trying to protect someone. You're still told you're not quite right for a team dynamic, and you're shoved out on your own when you're trying to make yourself part of said team. Add to that the years that you were neglected for science experiments and nothing more than theories, and oh boy, do you start to hate the world."
Steve picked idly at a bit of loose skin on his thumb, frowning as Tony spoke, his mind lost and confused. At the bottom of it all, Tony really was a kid. A kid trying to play nice with others. A kid looking for his old man's approval. A kid who sought genuine praise that came from someone else's lips other than his own. Tony Stark, Steve realised, was a very insecure man, and he decided in that moment that he was going to help change that.
"You're a hero, Tony," Steve said, trying to draw Tony's gaze to his own, as the billionaire steadfastly looked out over the water, "And sometimes the hero is too busy saving others to remember what he is at heart. You're a good man."
Tony scoffed at this, and Steve shook his head.
"I'm serious. And I thank you," Steve said softly, and it was this that finally got Tony to look at him. Stark held his gaze for a few moments before flicking it away.
"Captain America is thanking me?" Tony smiled slightly, before shaking his head and looking down at his hands, "That'll be the day."
"As well as a multitude of other things, some of which you mentioned, you did stay in hospital with me even though you didn't have to."
"That? Well, it's fine, I had issues with the suit anyway, so it was more of a convenience thing than anything else. I mean, it's not like I entirely went out of my wa-"
"Your rambling is ruining it," Steve said warningly, and Tony met his gaze once again, a cheeky glint in his eyes, before the pair looked out towards the lake together.
Steve liked this. He liked being able to just sit with Tony and take a break from the world around them. Here, they weren't Captain America and Iron Man, they were just Steve and Tony, a couple of guys that were admiring the scenery. Tony was as stubborn as a mule, but it didn't stop Steve merely enjoying the other man's company. Steve wondered briefly why he'd ever thought trying to fight away his attraction to Tony was worth losing out on moments like these, and he frowned slightly. Truthfully, many things concerned Steve about his unwavering attraction, but perhaps the most concerning was that Steve was beginning to think that it may have been a little more than something physical. Tony was a handsome man, yes, rugged in features, charming smile when he chose for it to be, and overall roguish appeal, but Steve didn't find these to be the most attractive things about Tony. This thought alone made Steve sick to the pit of his stomach. Each time he considered his feelings even for a fleeting moment, he was pushing them away with images of Peggy. Steve swallowed, remembering how Tony himself had told Steve that he needn't always be chasing ghosts. Lately, it seemed as if Steve was bringing it on himself. Steve startled slightly then, as Tony clapped a hand onto his shoulder and squeezed it slightly.
"You okay there, champ?" Tony asked, and Steve held Tony's gaze, the other man's hand heavy on his shoulder. He made to speak, but only managed to part his lips slightly, before suddenly feeling as if he were being swallowed by the billionaire's gaze. Tony's expression was soft, at ease for one of those rare moments in his life, and his eyes were gentle and calm, a rare treat. Steve hated when Tony looked at him like that, with that friendly kind of affection in his eyes, because it set his body into haywire. The fact that Tony was resting his hand on Steve's shoulder as he did so wasn't helping his cause either. There was a shift in the mood of their silence then, as Tony's gaze gradually became a little more intense, and Steve felt his throat go dry. It felt as if he and Tony were having a moment just then, and his brain was melting. He was sure that at any moment, it would start leaking out of his ears, as his carefully controlled composure began to slip, his mind conjuring images of what it would be like to merely close the distance between him and ravage Tony where he sat. He felt Tony's hand slide over the back of his shoulder then to rest at the back of the bench, gaze never moving from Steve's, and the captain had to fight back a shiver at the feather soft touch. Instead, he cleared his throat, fighting for his sanity, as he realised Tony was probably waiting for an answer.
"Have you ever had to fight yourself from doing something potentially... stupid?" Steve said lowly, voice perhaps a little huskier than he'd have liked, and Tony's eyes flashed briefly with an emotion Steve was unable to identify.
"Daily."
Steve felt the heat rising to his cheeks as he felt Tony's thumb absent mindedly stroke at the back of his shoulder, and he near lost his mind when Tony's gaze flicked for the briefest of moments to Steve's parted lips. There was absolutely no doubt in Steve's mind of what that meant, and his heart felt as if it were going to still. He was willing to take a risk, just then, right there in the middle of a public park, and take what he had been fighting so hard to resist.
"Dad! Dad! It's Tony Stark! It's Iron Man!" A shrill voice shattered the moment, and Tony tore his gaze from Steve's in a heartbeat, as a young boy ran up to the park bench, decked out in an Iron Man costume, sans mask.
"Sorry," The boy's father huffed apologetically, as he ran and caught up to his son, taking him by the shoulders, as the boy bounced on his feet.
"Oh my God, I can't believe it's really you!" The boy grinned and Steve felt the billionaire's hand move from his back, giving Steve more of an opportunity to regain his mind. He wondered briefly if the awkward apology from the boy's father indicated that even the stranger knew there had been something happening right then.
"Cool suit, kid," Tony smiled, seemingly a little flustered, before holding out his fist for the boy to bump his knuckles against. The boy's grin exponentially grew then, as he turned delighted eyes up to meet his father's. The man smiled, and nodded thankfully at Tony.
"Let's not bother Mister Stark and his friend any longer, Shaun," The father said, as Shaun turned to Steve then.
"Hey Mister, aren't you Captain America?" the boy asked bluntly, much to the discomfort of his father, and Steve felt a smile cross his lips in spite of himself.
"I sure am," Steve nodded, reaching out a hand to ruffle the boy's hair, who laughed and wriggled out of his reach.
"Wow! That's so cool. So are you and Iron Man friends or something?" The boy asked, as his father's face grew even more uncomfortable.
"Yup," Tony nodded, "Me, Captain America, the Hulk, Thor, Black Widow and Hawkeye all hang out and have a great time when we're not out fighting bad guys. How old are you, Shaun?"
The boy's eyes and mouth widened at being addressed by his name, "I'm eight, Mister."
"You know, back before I was Iron Man, when I was your age, you know what I was doing to make sure one day I could make the Iron Man suit?"
The boy shook his head in wide eyed wonder, and the boy's father eased into a fond smile at the gesture.
"I was in school, and I was reading as much as I could. What's your favourite subject at school?" Tony asked, and Shaun grinned.
"I like maths and science kinds of stuff. The other day we made a volcano. It was so cool!"
Tony smiled and nodded, leaning closer to the boy and lowering his voice.
"Those were my favourites too. Maybe one day you can be the next Iron Man," Tony whispered, and Steve smiled then, as it seemed Shaun was knocked speechless, his jaw hanging open in an almost comical manner.
"Have you ever been to Stark tower?" Tony asked, and Shaun shook his head, "Why's that?"
"Dad said it's too damn expensive and that only the rich people go there," Shaun said matter-of-factly, as his father's cheeks flared, seemingly mortified. Tony gave the boy's father a reassuring smile, before reaching into his coat and pulling out a pocket tablet.
"What's your name?" Tony asked the father, who floundered slightly.
"Stuart Brennan," the man finally replied, as Tony flicked the tablet to make it active.
"Jarvis, get reception to leave a family pass for the tower's exhibitions for a Mister Stuart Brennan. Get them set up with a tour guide whenever they go in to collect it too," Tony spoke, Stuart's face dropping into a shocked expression as he did so, "And do we have any prototype shell masks lying around?"
"Several, sir," Jarvis replied.
"Make sure one gets left at the gift shop for a lad called Shaun Brennan. He needs it to complete his suit."
"Certainly, sir."
"I... thank you," Stuart smiled, stretching out his hand for Tony to take, as the billionaire nodded and shook it firmly. Shaun was practically bouncing on his feet, as his father politely steered him away.
"Iron Man and Captain America are the best!" He cried out, and his father squeezed his shoulders as they departed.
The moment was well and truly ruined, but there was another one created in that instant, as Steve watched the pair leave, a soft smile along his features.
"That was a wonderful thing you just did, Tony," Steve said quietly, as Tony nonchalantly brushed the remark away, complete with hand gesture.
"Seemed like a good kid."
"You've just created something amazing with that little boy, and I think you gave his father a little something that's pretty special in its own right," Steve remarked, as Tony raised a brow questioningly, "A little hope that there are still good people in the world."
Tony shook his head.
"His old man would have known that the second he first saw Captain America on his tv screen, pops," Tony teased, before standing up and stretching, "Should head back to the lab, now that you don't hate me anymore. It's exhausting trying to be tolerable to people. Really takes it out of me."
Steve smiled and let out a small sigh, before standing up himself. It hadn't taken much to diffuse that moment, but he was more fond of Tony now than he'd ever been in his entire life. Of anyone, if he were being honest, and already, his mind was entertaining the thought of what may have come from this moment, had they not been interrupted. He shook the thought away, choosing instead to stuff his hands in his pockets and start walking. He and Tony walked out to the sidewalk, and Steve stifled a yawn behind his hand. It was still early in the day, but the evening prior had left the captain exhausted.
"Want to catch a ride home?" Tony asked, as a limousine pulled up beside them and stopped. Steve shouldn't have been surprised, but he was.
"When did you...?"
"I have my ways."
A driver stepped out and opened the door for Tony to get in, and he did so, offering a questioning expression to Steve. After the moment the pair had recently had, Steve wasn't sure he was entirely comfortable of the thought of being in a dark, secluded space with Tony just yet, so he politely declined, saying he ought to finish his jog. Tony bought it, and nodded, before the car pulled away and headed back for the tower.
Steve's mind stalled briefly, as his thoughts toyed with the memory of a feather soft touch brushing along his shoulder, and dark brown eyes flicking from his gaze to his lips. Steve knew then that if his goal was to really distance himself from his attraction to Tony, he was in big trouble.
A/N: I will TRY to not take forever with the next update. Heh.
Reviews are well appreciated. Lovelovelove.