Chapter 4.
Emma boots were heavy on the floor. She glanced upward to where Regina's bedroom was eerily silent. She made her way to the stairs and then up, as quietly as she could.
She didn't have to reach the top to know that Regina wasn't there any longer.
Emma had thrown on another jacket and was about to go searching, when multiple keys in multiple locks announced Regina's return.
Emma lost it. Her heart racing, she sputtered, "Where the fuck were you?" Emma wasn't sure if it was still just the out of sorts feeling from her cat dream, or if she was genuinely worried. "What if something had happened to you?" She shouted.
Regina shrugged, half drunk and having completely expected the assault. "Who cares," she said. "Besides, I feel fine." She didn't, not really. Her incision itched and ached. Regina added, just for good measure: "You should just leave. Go back to your parents. To Henry. He's yours now."
All the anger drained from Emma's body. She fell heavily back against the wall. "No, he isn't. I mean not entirely." Emma made a muffled kind of sound in the back of her throat, and then blurted out, "There are things I don't do well. Things I don't remember, like bringing snacks when we go for a walk, or what his favorite comics are, or his favorite toys. I mean I know he's too old for some of that stuff, but he takes care of so many details and I just imagine that you used to take care of those details. Before I came along." Emma swipes a hand across her forehead, looking incredibly painfully anxious. "I don't know what to do about any of this 'Gina. And I need you to just…help me out here!"
Regina's mouth fell open. She closed it again. The familiar nickname, the plea for help—once, not long ago, Regina would have taken advantage of Emma's insecurity and played it against her.
But then Emma's eyes flashed angrily toward Regina. She growled, low in her throat, and suddenly leapt to her feet. Regina found herself pinned to a wall while Emma lifted her shirt.
"It's red. And sticky-outy." Emma chastised Regina, all while cupping her waist and running one thumb gently outside of the three inch long, thin welt that she had not actually seen until this point.
"It's…been 'sticky-outy' as you call it, since it began to really heal." Regina couldn't breathe with Emma so close. She kept her eyes pinned on the far wall while long fingers continued to stroke the skin around her injury. Sensitive skin. Regina had no idea why it was so, so very sensitive.
They ended up back in the hospital, after Emma insisted that Regina's incision had to be checked. It turned out to be fine, but Regina was ordered to get more rest and cut out any alcohol while she continued with pain meds. Emma glared at Regina as the doctor lectured them both about the damage Regina might be doing to her liver by combining painkillers and alcohol.
They parted early in the morning, both grumpy and silent. Emma spent the rest of the day making up for lost sleep in her hotel room, while Regina did the same at her place. By early evening, Emma was wide awake, having napped most of he afternoon away.
Emma wandered outside to grab dinner from a street vendor and then spent the evening in.
Three lukewarm beers and an attempt at answering questions on Jeopardy, did nothing to alleviate her boredom.
Being alone always provided Emma with an odd sense of security mixed with loneliness. She knew that she liked being alone way too much to be totally considered healthy. Her stupid cat dream wouldn't leave her alone either. Something was telling her to get with it.
Emma caved in at around midnight and called Regina.
"Just checking in." Emma mumbled. Regina's reply was predictably short. She was, apparently, already in bed. Emma rolled her eyes at herself. "Sorry," She added. "I'll phone again at an appropriate hour." She tried to focus on a fly that had landed outside her window, but her eyes crossed. She would have to take a cab to Regina's. If she was invited, that is…
"No." Regina said on the other end of the line. "Don't hang…just…What did you want exactly?"
Emma scowled. "I wanted to see that you were safe. I mean what if somebody followed Jefferson, followed me…followed Jefferson following me." Though Emma was completely certain, she did suspect that the so-called Hatter had actually managed to tail her on her way from Storybrooke. It was a sobering thought.
"Oh for…" Regina could be heard swearing on the other end, dimly, as though she had had to pull the phone away from her mouth suddenly. "I'm fine. Just come over if you're so damned worried." Something in her tone was off, though.
Emma wondered if Regina really would feel better with some kind of company. A bodyguard perhaps. Or, a bounty hunter. Emma the Bounty Hunter. Like Dog, only with better hair. Emma chuckled at her own joke. She had made that one before. It was a definite repeat…
In response to her laughter, Regina hung up on her.
Emma was quick to call a cab, and even quicker to pack her bags. She checked out on her way, handing the room keys over to the chipper woman on the nightshift.
As soon as Emma knocked on Regina's door, fatigue finally replaced boredom. Regina strode back up to her bedroom the moment she unlocked the door. Emma found her way to her sleeping area of the previous night, and clicked on the reading lamp.
Emma felt almost as if she were moving on automatic pilot. She grabbed one of Regina's books and read until she fell asleep.
The next morning, Regina found Emma slumped over a copy of One Hundred Years of Solitude. The reading lamp was still on and Emma's neck was bent at a strange angle. Regina grimaced and shook Emma's booted foot.
Regina made coffee and toast while Emma slowly roused herself. By the time Emma's bleary eyed scowl aimed itself at Regina back, they were ready to sit down.
"So." Regina said after long minutes of utter silence. "Why are you here? I mean really? Do you even know?"
Emma shrugged and stuffed another bite of buttery toast into her mouth.
Then Regina asked, "So we know why I'm avoiding Storybrooke, but the question is: what are you avoiding?" Emma still did not have an answer for Regina when Regina asked, "Is it motherhood? Are you running away from Henry?"
"I'm keeping an eye on you." Emma grumbled, yet again. She tried to ignore the stab of fear that accompanied Regina's accusation. Truth be told, Emma did have more faith in Snow and James' abilities to protect Henry than she did in her own. When once they had fought so hard for the right to take care of Henry, now Regina and Emma were both exiled from him.
"Nonsense." Regina replied. "I'm not going anywhere. You know where I am now, so you could always send the hounds after me from a safe distance—though…" Regina stared thoughtfully at Emma. Regina sipped her coffee, wishing they had fruit or something more with it. They would have to do more groceries—she would, anyhow. Dangerous to think of Emma taking part in such a domestic act. Regina changed the subject. "What do you think about all of this—about what I originally did?"
The look on Emma's face was absolutely perplexing. She seemed angry one moment, sympathetic the next, and indifferent a second later.
"I think," Emma began. "That the so-called Curse was really just a time loop. You're all here. And so what? It isn't the worst place to be. The worst part is time lost—in my case, 28 years without my parents." Which earned Regina a scathing glance. "The rest is coincidence and maybe even…something to do with fate. I mean you couldn't really stay angry at Snow White forever, back in…uhhh…your Fairytale world. You couldn't have stayed so angry without ending at least one of your lives. To be honest, it sounds—from what James said about the time leading up to your enactment of the Curse—that your life would have been erased first."
"Does it now?" Regina stared hard at her.
"You're probably wonder why I'm not angry at you." Emma added. "I bet you think I'm too stupid to be all that angry." Emma continued, leaning forward. Her hand hovered an inch from Regina's which was clenched in a fist. "You and Snow would have destroyed each other, had you stayed in the other world. This way, you both get a second chance. To forgive each other."
The smile that formed on Regina's lips was every bit as frightening as anything Emma had ever seen.
"The Evil Queen indeed…" Emma grumbled to herself, rubbing her forehead hard. "Ridiculous, just fucking ridiculous." She got slowly to her feet and walked to the door.
Emma returned three hours later. She carried two bags of groceries from an overpriced organic store and set them carefully on the counter. Regina stared at her from the kitchen table. A blue mug of lukewarm coffee sat in front of Regina, untouched. Regina's hair was slicked back as though she had just been in the shower. She wore a pair of slacks and a wrinkled white button down shirt. Her eyes were red rimmed.
Emma spoke with her back to Regina, slowly unpacking the groceries and placing them in the fridge or freezer. "I think we're in danger of becoming depressed." She stated less than resolutely. "Both of us. And I know that I feel powerless. I can't protect Henry, I can't fix anything…" Emma took a deep, shuddering breath and blew it out again. Her hands shook as she clenched them in fists.
"There is nothing left to fight over." Regina's voice echoed in the emptiness.