Thanks so much. Sorry for the delay. The next chapter is giving me problems. Actually, all of my next chapters are giving me trouble.
Keep reviewing, I love getting reviews.
I may be getting a job soon, so... yeah. Less writing time :(
On with the chapter!
I hurriedly got dressed into something to wear to dinner with my friends. My parents would not leave me alone after we read the letter and tried to convince me to stay home, but I promised my friends this. I am not going to back out because of the news. That would be unfair although I am sure they would understand.
I buttoned my blue jeans and threw on my sky blue v-necked sleeveless top while trying to keep my hair looking okay. I grabbed the white cover up I was going to wear as well. I just finished sewing it the other day. It's cream white with three quarter length sleeves and buttons underneath my breasts with a suit jacket-like collar. I made sure my T necklace was still on while putting on white guitar pick earrings and stepped into my white heels. I'm running a tad late so Gino said he would drive me back to the restaurant. My parents and Julian already left after my insistence.
I was about ten minutes late when I spotted my friends, all laughing at our table, they had drinks but that was all. There was even a drink in front of my spot. "I'm sorry I'm late," I apologized when I approached.
"It's cool," Taylor assured me. "We ordered you a Dr. Pepper," she added.
"Why were you late, Gabi?" Martha wondered, and then Kelsi gave her a look. "What, like we're not all nosey? Besides, it's not like Gabriella to be late," she insisted.
I smiled a little. "No, it's fine. I finished shopping with my dad and when I got home my entire family was there," I started. "It turns out NYU sent me a letter," I went on. My friends all perked up. "Then, after they wouldn't leave me alone and told me to stay home, but I promised you guys dinner," I said. "So, I am here."
"Screw that, what did the letter say?" Taylor demanded to know.
I let out a breath. "It said they loved my work but I could use a little more instruction with it," I began and they all seemed sad. "Which is why they accepted me to their institution," I finished.
Taylor's chair flew back as she stood. "Oh, my God!" she squealed and hugged me so hard, but I didn't care. I got into NYU! Kelsi and Martha got up to hug me as well.
"They said after the first semester they are arranging a gallery to show my work along with other accelerated art students," I went on. "I'm applying for a scholarship as soon as possible and because they're offering me to put my work into a gallery I could actually get one and give my college fund to my parents," I said. That would be such a relief.
My friends and all I began to talk at once, about NYU, and their schools, and how everything is working out. Kelsi is right, this feels so amazing. We sat back down a few minutes later.
"You so cannot pay now!" Kelsi stated.
I opened my mouth to reply, but was bumped in the shoulder. I found that it was Julian's hip. "Of course she's not, I am," he told us.
I turned. "You are?" I questioned.
"With the family and friend discount, of course," he said. I raised my eyebrows. "My baby sister and her best friends all got into their first choice colleges, I gotta congratulate you guys somehow," he explained. "And, it's not like you'll let me do anything else to them, er, with them," he corrected himself. I elbowed him. "Hey, be nice now, I am your waiter I can pull a Waiting and mess with your food," he reminded me.
I hugged him the best I could while sitting down. "Thanks, bro," I said and my friends copied.
"Eh, Gino is helping out with the check, he may not know it yet, but he is," Julian informed us, making us laugh. "Okay, okay, now what would you like?"
Dinner was fun, we ate a lot, drank a lot (non-alcohol, of course), and laughed so much I think it added ten years onto my life. Laughing is good for your health, you know, it's a fact. "Alright, so we have got to celebrate this," Kelsi stated once our plates were cleared.
"I thought we were," Martha mentioned. "Isn't that what the dinner is for? And, it's on Julian, so I am ordering dessert," she added, making me chuckle. I am too.
Kelsi shook her head. "Well, yeah, but we have to do more!" she exclaimed. "This is life changing stuff, we have to go out. We have to go somewhere our parents won't hear what we did, somewhere our siblings won't happen to be, and somewhere fun," she went on.
"Where is this amazing place, Kels?" Taylor wondered while sipping her drink.
"In the city," Kelsi informed us. "That new club that just opened, Forever 1:15, we're gonna go this weekend," she finished. Heh, that is an interesting name because, you don't exactly go home from a club at 1:15... that is probably why they named it that.
I nodded. "Oh, yes, Kelsi, our parents will allow us all to go to a club in the city by ourselves," I mocked her.
She gave me a look. "They won't know," she replied. "Since the baby of the group finally turned eighteen," she said while looking at me and I couldn't help but smile. Yes, my birthday just passed last month, I am now eighteen like my closest friends. "We can do it. Technically, we're adults, we'll lie to our parents and be adults," she told us.
"Because lying to our parents and sneaking off the city is so adult like," Martha said sarcastically. See, I am not the only one who thinks this is not a good idea.
"I'm with Kelsi," Taylor spoke up. "She's right, we're eighteen, something major just happened in the past few weeks, we need to celebrate it wildly," she agreed with Kelsi. "Our whole high school lives we've been good. We have participated in a bad kegger or two, but we've never gone crazy. It's time we should, and we should do it together. We can all say we're sleeping at a friend's house, we'll get a bad hotel room and go to this club and have the most amazing weekend ever," she urged.
I took in a deep breath. "Can't we wait until summer?" I asked. "My parents act like, well, parents until summer. In summer they will say I am eighteen and I have the right to do as I want since I graduated, so I can do as I please," I reminded them.
"No!" Kelsi ordered. "That is when we shouldn't do it, then you are allowed, then it is okay for you to do all of it. Be a rebel for once, Gabi!" she pleaded. "What about you Martha?" she asked. "Are you in?"
Martha easily crumbled as she usually does. She is up for fun like the rest of them. "Yeah, okay," she said happily.
"Come on, Gabi, be a rebel!" Kelsi repeated.
I rolled my eyes. I've been a rebel before. I've had secret rendezvous' with a man at a time when it was extremely frowned upon. I've ran away before, I (kind of) eloped before, I practically disowned my family and followed my heart before, I do not need this be a rebel. Taylor seemed to know what I was thinking. "Gabi, come awn," she insisted. "Do something fun in this life, do something more than art and work and hanging out with us and doing the same lame sleepover, although they are fun," she assured Kelsi and Martha. "Do something shady with us!" she pleaded.
I laughed at her wording. I felt myself give in. "Fine," I reluctantly agreed. "But, I'm telling Julian," I compromised.
"What? No!" they all denied.
"He has to know, it's the city, something could happen!" I told them. "He'll be fine with it if I check in every hour or two," I assured them.
I could tell they all didn't like it, but they knew I wouldn't agree otherwise. "Okay, Julian, but that is it," Kelsi spoke for all of them.
As soon as she said that, a cake came over my head and I knew my dads hands were the ones holding it. A chocolate cake was placed in front of me. "Dad?" I asked while turning around. My mom was there too.
"Our baby girl got into college, we gotta help with the dinner too," my mom told me. "I made it for you," she added. I smiled and tried to hug her back when she hugged me from behind around the shoulders. "We're all so proud of you," she said. "Besides, I did it for your brother's too," she commented.
"Plus, it's on the house, of course," my dad informed us. "But, you have to share with us and your brother's," he added.
I smiled and sat up. I love this cake; my mom only makes it for my birthday. Well, and when I got my period for the first time, it was a 'congratulations' present. It wasn't exactly something I was very happy about, I still don't like getting it, but I ate entire cake in a weekend by myself. Hey, no one comes between me and chocolate.
"Thanks, but you have to cut it because I cannot do that right," I laughed while handing the knife to my dad. It may be low key and slightly pointless, but eating dinner and cake with my friends and family is possibly the best way to spend today. The only thing that could make it better would be Ethan showing up.
Per usual, he didn't. I tried not to let it get to me, but it's getting harder not to. I have to remember that if we're meant to be together, we'll find each other, just as we always have.
-xoxo-
"I still cannot believe you are doing this," Julian repeated for what seemed like the tenth time the following Saturday.
I shook my head while folding a pair of jeans. "Jule, chill, its one weekend!" I insisted.
"You're going to the city, you're getting a hotel, you're going clubbing, do you have any idea what could happen to you?" he questioned.
I rolled my eyes. "Dad is our father, I know how to fight. Have you seen my right hook?" I reminded him. "I mean, he was a boxer, he taught all of us how to fight," I mentioned. "I can take care of myself and you know Taylor, she doesn't take shit from anyone," I went on to assure him I'll be fine. "I'll call you every other hour like I promised, I'll text you when you text me, I'll call you when we get back, don't worry," I insisted. I should have known he would go all Gino on me, but I thought he might actually trust me. I can't blame him, though, so I'm just gonna have to deal. It's not the worse thing in the world to have someone care this much, you know.
"Where does mom think you'll be again?" he asked while checking his watch. Someone is coming over to 'study.'
I sighed. "Kelsi's. Her parents are busy with some fundraiser so they won't notice much and they think she is sleeping over Taylor's. And, you know they don't particularly like Taylor's parents, so they won't call them to check up on her," I answered. "Mom and Dad never call my friend's parents when I am sleeping over, they know I'm old enough to be left alone other than a text here and there," I went on. "Julian, will you please chill out? I know the city like the back of my hand, I've lived there, remember?" I wondered.
"Oh, yeah," he mumbled as if he just remembered, which he probably did. At least my past life helps me with this.
"And, I wasn't even the one who was pushing for us to go. I enjoy going to the mall and bad keggers and art shows and movies, clubbing isn't my thing," I breathed. "I'd much rather go to a house party, but I can deal," I carried on. "Before you even tell me again, we won't drink, they'll stamp our hands anyway. I can't believe clubs really do that," I commented. Kelsi and Taylor did some research, they are way too excited.
"Be smart, Gabriella," Julian ordered as I zipped up my stuffed duffel bag. I have pajamas, club clothes, make up, shoes, a normal pair of clothes, a sketchbook, good pencils, and my cell phone and iPod charger.
You never know how much you need until you think about what you do from day to day. I feel like I have become a material girl and I do not like it. Even when I was wealthy Annabelle, I enjoyed being low maintenance; it's just this darn technology! I was happy before with Ethan, needles, pencils, material, and paper (clothes weren't a necessity but a bed would be helpful). That was all I needed to be happy. Hell that is all I need today. "I am smart, Jule," I assured him. "I got into NYU, didn't I?" I questioned.
My happiness is dimming seeing as I am looking into financial aid and random scholarships, not to mention ones offered through the university. I need something, I refuse to put burden on my parent's, it is not right. We are finally worry free financially; I don't want to cause my parents that stress again. I remember when I was a kid and I had to listen to them discussing the bills while arguing about what is best for us as a family. We almost moved to New Mexico to be with my dad's parents it was so bad at one point. I cried so hard, I did not want to leave New York. I remember Gino holding me and telling me that no matter what, New York is our home and even if we have to move, we'd find our way back to it. Thankfully, my mom's parents gave my parent's a loan to open the restaurant and it took off. My parent's happily paid them back every single cent last year. My dad smiled for a month, it got Grandpa off his back.
He smiled. "That is so not the point," he replied, breaking me from my thought as my cell phone buzzed in my pocket. They're here.
I tossed the bag over my shoulder and grabbed my purse. "I'm smart, Jule, we all are. I'll call, I'll text, hell I'll email you," I promised. "Taylor is waiting downstairs. Her car is bigger, so she's driving," I informed him.
He nodded and gave me a hug. "Remember, when you're fighting, keep your hands up," he joked, I think. "Dad would be disappointed if you didn't add some foot work in there either," he teased.
"Haha, who kicked your ass last time we were in the ring?" I wondered as I left my room.
"Hey, I tripped!" he called after me.
I said goodbye to my parents. I felt horrible for lying to them. They're good parents, they're not too strict, they're not too lenient, but when they punish you, they punish you good. I've never disobeyed them this way before. I may have gone to a party here and there, but they know that is what teens do, going into the city and getting a hotel is a whole other thing. If they find out, I am so dead I'll only have myself to blame for not finding Ethan because I'll never be able to leave the house again. They'll have me take online college classes. Oh, God, they better not find out...
"You guys should have seen him," Kelsi insisted from the back seat. "He was so sweet about it. He threw rocks at my window like in the movies and gave me the ring," she cooed about her boyfriend Jimmie after he heard about Julliard. They aren't engaged (thank the good Lord), it's a promise ring, a promise that he will love her forever and she is the only girl for him, all that other bullshit. If this was a guy who genuinely loved her, I would be so happy for her, but Jimmie is a moronic, stupid, full-of-himself jackhole and shouldn't even be allowed to breathe Kelsi's air. She's a freakin' musical genius.
"And you just gave it up to him?" Taylor asked bluntly from the driver's seat. I'm in passenger and Martha is with Kelsi in back. The drive to the city isn't long at all without traffic, but with traffic we could be in the car anywhere from thirty minutes to almost two hours. We brought snacks and our iPods to plug into the radio. However, today's traffic is pretty moderate, so the car ride isn't taking too long.
Kelsi smiled widely. "He was perfect, guys. He was so kind and caring and gentle," she went on.
"Does it hurt?" Martha wondered. Um, yeah, I could tell you that!
I remember it as Annabelle, but that was literally perfect. I had only known Ethan for a week, but it didn't matter. We had known each other for God knows how long, I sure don't (not in this life, anyway), but it was perfect. It was late February and at the cottage house in the city. The snow made it so magical. I love New York in the winter. It didn't matter than there were candles or that he had done everything to make it wonderful, I appreciated it, but I didn't need it. All I needed was him to make it perfect and so it was. I'm not exactly excited to go through the pain again, but damn, it's worth it.
Kelsi nodded slowly. "Unfortunately," she sighed. "The first time is the worst, but by the third time it's amazing," she glowed.
"That's because you have nothing to compare it to," Taylor mumbled next to me. I held back a laugh. We all love Kelsi to death, but we all hate Jimmie. If your best friends hate him, that is saying something.
"As long as you're happy, Kels, I'm glad it was your perfect first time," I spoke up on the bright side. Hey, I gotta be supportive; she is literally glowing from it. I hope it's not pregnancy, well, she'd only be like, two days along, and I doubt it works that quickly.
"Thanks, Gabi," she smiled widely. Everyone echoed my sentiments to her to be respectful.
"I hope you didn't cry 'cause I cried and I felt horrible," Taylor mentioned. Taylor lost her virginity to her boyfriend of two years at the end of summer. He was going away to college in California, they were in love and saying goodbye, and then one thing led to another which led to her calling me at four o'clock in the morning squealing. He was gone the next morning and they both knew it was over, but neither regretted it. I liked Jeremiah, he was good to her, he got along with me, and he seriously loved her. Taylor will always love him as her first love, but she knows there is someone out there for her.
"I cried," Kelsi admitted, making us laugh. "But it was only for two minutes, then he kept going, and I didn't notice the pain after that," she told us. "I'm going to miss him when he goes," she muttered sadly. Jimmie is going on tour or something a week after graduation. It's all he talks about even though its only mid January, and with me it goes in one ear and out the other. I mean, his band is good, but they could be better, and he refuses to listen to anyone about anything. He writes the lyrics and even if they suck (which over half do) he won't change them. I have to give him credit, when a song of theirs is good, it is seriously amazing.
"So the only virgins left are Gabi and Martha," Kelsi stated a minute later. We laughed again. "I bet you, Gabi, you lose it by prom," she informed me.
I shook my head. "I hope so, but I don't know," I sighed. "Martha will lose it before we go to college," I added in.
I could see the look of disbelief on her face without even turning around. "Please? Me? Yeah, right. I'm just the big dancer..." she trailed off.
"Oh, screw that shit, you're beautiful and talented and smart and wonderful, you will find you guy and we will help you," Kelsi told her. "Well, Tay and I will, I don't know if Gabi will be much help," she joked, I hope.
I turned as Taylor laughed. "Hey! My not dating and being a virgin is a choice!" I exclaimed. "I could get a guy but I don't want any around here," I went on. "And, Kelsi is right, Mar, you're fantastical," I agreed.
"Yeah, look at your wrack," Taylor commented. Martha let out a hearty laugh. "I'm just sayin', girl, you got a lot going for you. Don't listen to Becca, the most she is going to do with her life is sleep with some guy to get a record contract, bomb, then marry some rich guy and develop a pill habit and spawn kids who hate her, then divorce," she listed off.
We all looked at her for a moment. "Wow, Tay, be a more descriptive, will you?" I questioned.
"I am just sayin' she treats people like dirt and she doesn't deserve much better. Hey, she does get a hott, rich guy, that is saying something," she looked on the bright side.
"Hey, can you predict my future too?" Kelsi wondered, making us laugh once again.
Taylor nodded. "Yeah, you're fantabulous and will die a happy woman," she said vaguely.
"Boo!" Martha called out. "Becca got a longer future!" she whined.
"I don't have the time, we are here, ladies," Taylor insisted as she found our hotel in the city. We all chipped in to get one room with two queens. We'll raid the vending machines for food and eat the complimentary breakfast in the morning then be home by lunch. We're not spending much unless we decide to get something we see.
We checked in, of course, and then made our way to our room on the seventh floor. "It isn't The Bolton, but it'll do," Kelsi said as we sat our things down. Kelsi is one of them rich girls, but we like her anyways.
I went over to the window and looked down. We weren't on the busiest or most expensive street in the city, but it was still New York City. I love the city. It's always felt so special, magical in a way. I felt that way as Annabelle as well, it was my first lifetime in the city, but it still felt like a second home compared to Rome. Now, I love Rome, but NYC is my home, my true home. I know how to get anywhere from any part of it. It's, like, a gift. In fact, Ethan and Annabelle's old home isn't too far from here.
"Hey, I'm gonna shower first," Kelsi spoke up, breaking me from my thoughts.
We all agreed, and then Martha and Taylor started to get out their club clothes to show the other. I left the window and slipped a hotel key in my pocket. "I'll be back in a few, okay?" I told them as I put the leather jacket with the faux fur collar I love so much. It was a Christmas present.
"Where you going?" Taylor wondered knowingly.
I smiled to sooth her worries. She's been worrying about me a lot lately, everyone seems to be. "Just downstairs," I lied smoothly. "I'll be back in a few minutes," I told her and quickly slipped out before her or Martha could question me again.
I wasn't going just downstairs, and I think Taylor knew that, and if she did, she wouldn't want me to wander around New York City alone. I'm not even wandering; I just want to see it. I want to see the place I once called home. I haven't seen it in this life yet. I've been in the city many times before, of course, but I never had the guts to look for it, the cottage. It's actually Annabelle's grandmother's old stable house. But, when her grandmother died and left Annabelle everything, she sold mansion-like house and remodeled the stables into a nice sized cottage-esque home for herself, and eventually Ethan. It was perfect until it burnt down.
I hadn't realized I was there until I saw the gate looming in front of me. That was a new touch. I wasn't sure what I had expected to see. A pile of old burnt rubble or some massive building that had bought the land and set up headquarters, I never thought about it. I didn't want to tarnish my memory. However, this was different. It looked liked the same cottage-like home, but it was a bit bigger and modernized. It still had the cottage feel to it, but it was different. There was a garden in front; a porch had been added like I had always wanted, along with the swing I wished for as well. There was a balcony leading off the upstairs of the front, and the home had many windows, but the insides were not visible due to curtains. No car was there, nor was there a garage I could see, so I assumed no one was home.
I wrapped my cold hands around the bars of the gate and bit my lip. I could climb this gate, and fall and break a bone, and look like a stalker, but that would be bad. I just wanted to see it, the inside. I want to smell it, and I want to see the room I died in. It's morbid, but I want to. I only have one memory of the fire, I remember the orange heat that had overtaken the home, and me coughing while calling Ethan's name. I remember awkwardly holding myself as if for comfort when I felt arms wrap around me. I remember Ethan turning me around and kissing me before telling me we would be together again, and then I woke up from my vision.
Seeing this, where Ethan and I had so much love and where we died, hurt more than I thought it would. I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes. I haven't cried over Ethan since I was seven and I refuse to start now. I remember when I came running to my mom and told her he wasn't coming for me so I was going to be alone forever. She assumed it was some game or a make believe boyfriend. She sat me down and told me I would go through heartbreaks in life and this was just the beginning. She said that no boys were worth my tears and the one who was wouldn't make me cry and if he did, he would hate himself for hurting me. She told me I could only let loose one tear, one, that was it, that was all he would take away from me. And I did, one big, fat tear droplet fell from my eye and my mom kissed it away. Then, she baked me a cake and I was happy again. Hey, I was seven.
I smiled to myself before I felt dizzy for a split second and tried to brace myself before hitting the pavement as I fainted.
I leaned against the balcony railing that overlooked the scenery that is Rome as dread filled me.
"Hey," I heard behind me and smiled at Ethan's voice. We've been married for fourteen days now. "We have to go, we're on a schedule as I am sure you know," he reminded me.
I closed my eyes and breathed in Rome's air. I felt him behind me before his front pressed against my back and his arms wound around me. "I don't want to leave," I whispered while leaning against him.
I felt his face against my neck. "We'll come back, I promise," he told me. "Next time maybe we can make it more permanent," he added.
I turned around. "Do you mean it?" I questioned with my hands on his biceps.
"Of course I do," he answered with a kiss.
"What about the cottage?" I asked him. "It's all I have left of my grandmother," I mentioned.
He nodded. "I know, we'll keep it, of course. We'll travel back and forth periodically," he said. "You can sell your designs here and we can go see our friends and family there," he went on.
"It sounds perfect," I told him. "I think Cecilia would be very angry if we moved here and never went back to visit," I commented a moment later after thinking of my cousin.
Ethan smiled. "Yes, she would," he agreed. "Especially when we have children," he added.
"Oh, we'll have to be in New York when that happens!" I insisted. "If not for our children to need to learn English and Italian, for Cecilia and Stefan," I stated. Stefan being Ethan's younger brother by three years. They were separated for a while growing up, from when Ethan was fourteen until he was eighteen. As soon as he turned eighteen he found his brother and was permitted to take him in. He is more of Stefan's father than his brother.
Ethan agreed silently with a quick kiss. "We've never really had kids before," he mumbled against my lips.
"That is going to change," I assured him while moving a hand through his dark locks. "We're going to do it all this time, everything in it's entirety," I finished.
Ethan smiled so beautifully. "We will," he agreed. "We'll make the study into a nursery," he suggested.
"We can make it bigger," I told him, speaking of the cottage. "I've always wanted a porch with a swing and kids playing in the yard," I said.
"If that is what you want, I promise, I will give it to you," he stated while kissing me softly. "Now, as much as I want to stay here and get started on our family, we have a boat to catch," he reminded me. He tugged on my hand until I was walking across the balcony. "But, once we reach New York, we are definitely getting to it," he said and I knew it was a promise. He was finally going to give me babies. The thought alone was enough to make me smile.
"Miss?" I heard above me.
My eyes opened and I sat up quickly. "Oh, I," I didn't know what to say. I was cold for the obvious reasons, but also snow was in my hair, it was matted against my jeans, and it tickled my nose. "I'm sorry," I apologized.
"Are you here to see Mr. B-"
"Oh, no," I cut him off. "I was just, I'm a tourist, I wandered," I lied as well as I could. "I'm sorry," I repeated.
The older man dressed in black slacks with a heavy black coat on helped me up. "I should get your name, Mr. Bo-"
"No, I was just lost," I interrupted him again. I can't let the person who lives here now know I was practically stalking them, well, the house, not them. "I think I know where I am going now, so thank you," I told him. I knew the man wanted to speak again, so I already began walking away. I stopped suddenly. "Um, Mister, can I ask you an odd question?" I wondered before I could bring myself to leave.
"I guess," he answered.
"The people who live here, are they happy?" I asked him.
The man in his late forties looked to the cottage and back. "They're trying to be," he told me.
I smiled a little. "Thank you," I replied before quickly going on my way. That was too close. I should have expected to have a vision, but it didn't even come to mind. At least I learned new information. I knew Annabelle and Ethan did not have children, but we never had kids ever? That is so sad, especially since I love kids, I do want them. I want three or four. I can't picture them yet, I haven't seen Ethan yet.
I was back at the hotel before I knew it and was freezing as well. I went into our room, already taking off my jacket, and smiled at my confused friends. "Sorry, I went outside for a few," I apologized, knowing they were worrying. I was gone for half an hour. "I love watching the snow fall in the city, it's so pretty," I covered up.
Taylor gave me a questioning look. "You can have the shower, I will go after you," she told me.
"Thanks, I'll be quick," I promised before walking straight into the bathroom. I'll tell Taylor where I went, I'll tell her of my vision, I won't tell her how emotional I became, how tied I feel to the home, and how much I wish I lived there. Like I said, I do keep some things to myself.
It's getting to the point that I don't know what to do with myself. I need him so much, but he's not here, and I can't pretend anymore. I can't pretend I am some normal teenage girl who is so happy she got into her dream college and can't wait for prom and graduation and summer. I am not that girl, I'm not normal and I can't- I leaned my head against the cold linoleum wall. What if what I thought earlier was right, he wasn't reincarnated and I will never have kids, ever. I've never been a mom, I've never held my own child, I've never been pregnant, I've never given birth, I've never done any of it. I knew we died early in our last life, but how come we didn't have children before? What if we are doomed, like Romeo and Juliet? Is the probably small amount of bliss together better than normalcy with someone else who I know I could never love as much?
I shook my head. I can't think like this. Things were different back in those times, those other life times. There were so many diseases and problems, like, I don't know, the black plague and famines. There could be so many reasons why we never had children. Maybe a few life times we did not meet until we were later in life so we didn't have a chance. Or, maybe I had fertility problems or miscarriages, anything is possible. Maybe, I don't know. This whole calming myself down thing is working, but I wish I was doing it better.
I turned off the water. Maybe Kelsi was right, I need a night away with my friends and no problems following me. Tonight, I will have fun and dwell on Ethan tomorrow. I will talk to Taylor tomorrow. Tomorrow I will get back to my doubts and worries and problems, including college.
"Ten minutes, girls!" Kelsi announced throughout the room as we all did finishing touches on our outfits. You'd be surprised how hard it is to do your hair in a room full of girls, especially since only two of us remembered to bring hair supplies. Cough, cough, me and Kelsi, cough, cough. Of course, mine only works for people with curly hair because those are the kinds of products I buy.
I gave one last quick shot of hairspray to my curls before handing the can off to Martha. My hair is in its long spiral curls, only a little looser than usual. I pulled my top up to cover the edges of my bra. That will be annoying all night, but at least it doesn't fall too much. I am wearing a black top with thin straps and has a lacy hem on my chest. It has a u-neck and some fabric that delves down between my breasts to my stomach, stopping above my bellybutton. The rest of the fabric covering me is sheer, adding that sexy touch. It reaches my slightly faded, holey, hip and leg hugging jeans. I finished the look with some black strappy wedges. My make up is smoky and light, knowing I'll be sweating in the club.
"I'm ready," I said as I put on my leather jacket. Taylor and Martha echoed me about five minutes later.
We only waited in the freezing cold for about thirty five minutes before we were admitted to the club. It's annoying watching the skinniest girls cut in line. Most of them aren't even that pretty or have boobs. Taylor and Kelsi were five minutes from telling off a security guard when they let a whole bunch of people in. I made sure I had money and my phone in my pockets when I checked my coat into the desk like we were told. We got a weird ticket to get our stuff back for when we leave. It's like an odd drycleaner system.
I love dancing, but I never get the chance to truly dance and have fun this way. It's one thing to jam out to your stereo, it's another to be in a packed club while being able to feel the music pulse through you and letting the music take you away with your friends. I moved my body to the beat as I let my worries go. It felt so good not to have my past and future on my brain, nagging and gnawing at my insides.
I felt hands rest on my hips and stepped out of them. "Sorry, I'm with someone," I told the guy behind me who shrugged and went on his way.
"Gabi that is the third time tonight!" Kelsi exclaimed over the music.
I shrugged. "So? I'm not going to hook up with anyone, that isn't what this is about. I want to have fun with you guys, it's our night," I stated.
"You can make it a little bit of your night," Martha suggested. "Have some fun, make out with a guy, do something completely not like you," she told me.
I shook my head. "No," I denied. "That isn't what I am here for," I insisted. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow kept ringing in my head. I'm saving these problems for tomorrow!
We decided to get drinks a few minutes later. I ended up getting Seven Up because they didn't have much else. "You need to be like that," Kelsi spoke up as Taylor laughed at a guy's joke that I am sure wasn't that funny.
"I need to have fun with my friends and worry about everything else later, including guys," I corrected her. "I'll have college to do that," I breathed as I sipped on my drink. If they just knew what I was going through like Taylor does... but I can't tell them. I know I can trust them, but I wouldn't feel comfortable with so many people knowing.
Taylor returned with a smile. "He's twenty one, sexy, smart, and a college boy. I think I have a fling on my hands," she commented.
"I think you should see if he has any friends," Martha replied as the guy walked by with a smile.
We laughed a little. "Now, Tay, would Oprah have a fling?" I teased her.
"What that cute black ass, hell yeah," Taylor responded happily. I laughed again. "Hunny, I gotta use it will I got it, I gotta have a man while I am taking over the world one TV network at a time," she informed us.
"And flings are the best way to find a hubby," Kelsi joked.
Taylor shrugged. "Flings are like ladder rungs, you gotta use every single one to get to the top and the top is my dream man," she stated. Oh, here we go, Taylor using her 'brilliance' to give us a life lesson. "Not all of us can be like Gabi and know exactly what we want. This is what high school and flings in college are for. Learning what you want is all a part of the process. I need smart, sensitive, outgoing, a guy who isn't afraid to tell me how it is, but wouldn't dare hurt me, a guy who doesn't care that my dreams are out of this world, he'll encourage me and be there when I need him. I only know all of that because I have dated around. You have to go through hell to get heaven, remember I said that," she told us.
"Hey, my lifespan has something to tell you," Kelsi replied. "It wants the last two minutes of my life back listening to that seeing as I already knew!" she said.
"You wanna take this outside?" Taylor challenged.
"Yeah!" Kelsi agreed forcefully. "But, it's kind of cold," she mentioned.
Taylor nodded. "Come May your ass is mine," she told her and we laughed.
I put my drink down. "Mm, come to the bathroom with me," I ordered my bestie and pulled her off her high chair. I don't get why clubs have these chairs three feet off the ground. They know girls wear heels; it is not easy to get up to and off of them. "We'll be right back," I yelled over the new song.
I held Taylor's hand as we made our way through the crowd. I got an odd feeling up my spine and turned as we walked to look around, leaving the guiding to Taylor. Once again, I felt arms wrap around my waist. I immediately pulled out of them. "Sorry, I'm with somebody," I told my little white lie, sort of, and gave an apologetic smile.
The guy looked from me to Taylor and saw our hands locked together before smirking. "I'm okay with that," he said.
I rolled my eyes. "Oh, please," I mumbled before getting back on my path to the bathroom. Some guys are just idiots, ugh.
I shook my head and scanned the crowd again. "Given your guy a death glare?" Taylor questioned
"Nah, just an odd feeling," I answered before going into the bathroom. It's probably some creeper staring at me. "It's like the guys at this club are stalking me or something," I commented as I looked in the mirror.
"You're a Mexican slash Italian beauty, why the hell wouldn't they?" Taylor replied as she did her business. I didn't have to go, I just wanted to look in a mirror, I have been sweating for over an hour. Other than looking a little like I was glistening, I was still in good condition.
I ignored her. "You're sure getting a lot of male attention," I told her.
She smiled as she washed her hands. "It's awesome, right?" she questioned. "I am over the whole high school boy stuff. After Jeremiah I'm ready for more, and no guy in high school is ready for that yet," she explained. "I mind as well have some fun while I'm the perfect age to do it," she finished.
"I see where you are coming from," I breathed and ran my fingers through my hair. We began to leave when I felt my phone vibrate. "You go ahead, that is Julian, I'll meet up in a minute," I suggested.
"You sure? I can wait," she offered.
I shook my head. "Nah, go dance with sexy college boy," I told her and she went on her way. I texted my brother back and forth for a few minutes to appease him. I left the bathroom about five minutes after Taylor and began to navigate my way through the club to our table.
It was then that I felt arms wrap around my waist. These arms weren't the same; they were strong and muscular and pulled me back against the man behind me. Oxygen left my lungs and I was unable to push this guy away. My heart fluttered and jumped to my throat. It was the oddest sensation and it all happened within a moment.
I felt lips next to my ear. "I've been looking for you."
Ok, so this is slightly obvious, or is it? Is it the wrong guy, a guy she doesn't know about or someone else? You just don't know!
Bahahaha sorry, I'm still way too into this.
Review please.
- Kayleigh