Fate T. Harlaown and the Case of the Murderous Murder
A Tale of Intrigue, Treachery, and DOOM
Part the Third
"So, do I get a promotion?" Susanoo asked, smiling cheerfully as he, Teana, Fate, and Collette the maid (AKA Justice Punch) sat around the research terminal, Collette happily providing tea and cookies. Fate had put in the request from the local authorities to run DNA samples taken from Mr. Ferrio, during his drug screening when he applied to his position as butler, and a sample kept on file from Mr. Treachario's body when it had been interred. Now it was only a question of waiting for the report to get to them.
"You don't get promotions for letting the criminal get away," Teana muttered, taking a sip of her tea in a sullen tone. The notion that the killer might actually be not only the butler but someone named 'Treachario' was not sitting well with her at all. Even worse, Ferrio seemed to have absolutely vanished. The local police had every exit covered, and he had not left by any of the doors or windows, nor was he anywhere in the house they could find. Even search magic produced no results. An APB had been put out for him, but for the moment all the investigators could do was wait and continue to examine the house.
"I didn't let him get away!" Susa protested. "Fate's the one who made me let him out of the bag that contained his eternal evil. Back me up on this one, Justice Punch."
"I tied the knots up quite tightly, ma'am, using my natural talent for such things as developed by years of tying open the drapes in the upstairs bedrooms, ma'am," Collette said helpfully. "I feel this skillset will be most useful now that I am, as they say, a sleuth."
"You are not a sleuth," Teana said. "Susanoo actually has no authority to deputize anyone. I thought we'd been over this."
"Well, I am certain that with my intensive knowledge of the house, I could still be of great assistance in your investigation, couldn't I?"
"You're a suspect."
"... Oh."
The door opened, and a handsome young man with skin the color of light mocha entered, pulling off a pair of sunglasses and brushing his long black hair behind his ear as he gave the assembled crew (and one maid who might have counted as an honorary member, depending on who you asked) a bright smile. "Well, well. So glum, aren't we? The famous TSAB should be trying to keep morale up in the lowly locals, I thought."
Fate sighed. "Well, things normally don't go quite this... oddly for us. The case is unique, to say the least."
The man laughed, and slid a data crystal along Fate's desk, which the enforcer caught with practiced smoothness. "Well, perhaps this will help. Though I hesitate to ask why you needed to run the DNA of a former governor who died a decade ago in a murder case that happened two nights past."
"Like, I said, unique," Fate said dryly, plugging the crystal into the access port on her terminal. "Thank you for the data, Mr..."
"Inspector," he corrected. "Despo-zabil Siouxport, with Taris Planetary Security, coordinating the capitol police. We spoke on the comm when you logged in to the scene, I believe?"
"Ah, yes. I thought your voice sounded familiar," Fate mused.
The man laughed again. "Well, I was hoping your first reaction to seeing me in the flesh would be swooning at my incredible good looks, but I suppose a celebrity such as yourself is not easily swayed, Enforcer Harlaown. And of course, her legendary first apprentice, the investigation corp's rising star, Enforcer Lanster. And... that guy who I assume must be your luggage carrier."
"What guy?" Susanoo asked, looking behind himself.
"... Okay, you've gotten on my good side," Teana admitted with a slight smile.
"You might be on mine too, depending on what we have here," Fate said, watching as the two DNA sequences scrolled slowly down the screen, the computer comparing the millions upon millions of nucleotides in less time than it took to say it. "Let's see, indication is..."
"When we find out he's guilty, I can easily blow up the house to find his hiding place," Susanoo offered. "It'll take me like, five seconds, really."
The program released a negative buzz, bright red letters popping up on the holoscreen which said 'NO MATCH FOUND'.
"Yes!" Teana said, pumping her fist in triumph.
"Tia," Fate chided her.
"Um... sorry. I mean... how sad," the junior enforcer said, trying very hard to keep a smirk of triumph from her face.
"He's... he's not related to Treachario?" Susanoo asked in disbelief. "But it added up perfectly! He has black hair, just like Treachario! He's the right age! He's... he's a butler!"
"According to this, the closest thing they have to a blood relation is that both of them are humans," Fate said with a shrug.
Susanoo's face fell even further. "So he isn't Mr. Treachario's secret son, and he isn't a brain-eating swamp mutant from the forbidden moon of Drenthax?"
"... What?"
"That was gonna be my second guess."
"... Sure." By this point, Fate had learned well that once you got out the uncontrollable first reflex question, it was best to just stop.
"Wait, wait, wait," Teana, who had not learned this yet, said. "Shouldn't he have known that? Isn't the whole issue that his mother had worked it out and was being pressured to keep her mouth shut? So, if he's not the son, then why did he resist arrest in the first place? A DNA test would have proven him innocent."
Susanoo scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Hmmmm... did I remember to bring that up with him...?"
Teana blinked a few times, fury running slowly between the neurons of her brain, before she finally said, "You... you arrested him... without telling him why?!"
"... Is that bad?" Susanoo asked.
Teana, in reply, made a kind of angry sound that did not really translate into any kind of human language, while Fate just kinda sighed sadly, having half-expected this. The elder Enforcer, however, went on to say, "Well. That is... not good. But, professionalism and legal issues aside, I will admit it raises an interesting series of questions."
"It does?" Susanoo and Teana asked in perfect unison, but with precisely opposite tones; his one of renewed cheer, hers one of intense dread.
"Well, while random arrests are hardly standard procedure," Fate said calmly, "The fact remains that he had a flash bomb hidden on his person, and an escape route from the manor planned out for when it became necessary to use it. As unprofessional as it sounds to say it, the man is clearly guilty of something, and just because we can't confirm it was this, particular murder doesn't mean he has not just jumped to the top of our list of persons of interest. We may not have a motive for him, but this is not the kind of behavior we just ignore, either. So we now have a direction to focus the bulk of our energy, which is something we lacked before."
Susa's smile outshone the sun. "So I did something good after all?"
"In... a sense," Fate allowed. "There is a time for subtlety and a time for taking a crowbar to the problem. I'm not saying it was handled perfectly, but you at least shook something loose, even if we aren't sure what yet."
Susanoo turned to Teana and, with the maturity and dignity of the ancient warrior he was, stuck his tongue out at her in triumph.
"Wait, wait!" Tia said. "What about the ID card problem?"
"There's an ID card problem?" Susanoo asked.
"The governor's ID card was used to enter his office after he was dead! Someone's been screwing with the security system! We told you all this! Have you just been ignoring everything we say that doesn't match your own personal weird theories?" Teana asked, her tone positively glacial.
Susanoo looked deep into her eyes, and with the wisdom of the ages, he instantly analyzed her mood and said "... Is the right answer 'yes?'"
"... Murder is a crime," Teana muttered under her breath, her fingers twitching. "Murder is a crime, murder is a crime, don't murder him Teana, it's a crime and you solve crimes, you don't commit them..."
Fate sighed, rubbing her temples once again. "Okay. Okay. Okay. I think we have a new set of priorities, and we'll once again be splitting into groups. I will aid Inspector Siouxport in combing the grounds for any sign of Mr. Ferrio, and interrogating the remains of the household staff. Ms. Colette... you will return to your maid duties, I suppose, because you are a suspect."
Colette sniffled sadly. "And to think, for just a little while, I got to live the dream... of course, on the other hand I do have to help the chef make dinner! Oh, I hope you'll all be staying, we're having his famous roast leg of Kinrath Abyss-devourer, in red wine sauce! It's just the most delightful thing you've ever tried!"
"I... think that would technically count as us taking bribes, Ms. Collette."
"Hmmm... are you certain? What if soup and salad were served first? I should think that would make it less of a bribe and more of a... dinner."
"It's really more the principle of the thing. But we'll... see what we can do," Fate said. She was fairly sure she wasn't supposed to, on the one hand... but on the other, she hadn't had lunch, and a decent cut of Kinrath Abyss-devourer cost an arm and a leg to get on Midchilda. Worse, for some odd reason all of her Earth friends refused to even try it, so good luck getting them to chip in.
she squealed, skipping off to go about her maidly duties with a jaunty tune on her lips.
"God-speed, Justice Punch. Pray the world never needs your keen eye for crime every again. You have earned this rest," Susanoo said proudly.
Teana sighed. "Okay, Fate... if you're working with the pretty boy... no offense..."
Siouxport smiled and brushed his hair back. "Oh, I would be offended if you didn't think I was pretty."
"And I'm assuming that I comb the house for any sign of a copied ID card, run through the data in the main computer, analyze the Ki... security robot for signs of tampering, that sort of thing?" Teana asked.
Fate took a deep breath. "Yes. You and Susa."
Tia blinked a few times, her expression suddenly very blank. "... What."
Susanoo smiled cheerfully. "Ooooh, I get to work with Ana? I don't think I've done that before! Sounds fun."
"Fate... no. You're not serious, right? You don't mean it," Teana asked, her tone getting just a tiny bit desperate.
"Oh, I'm afraid I mean it very much," Fate said flatly. "For starters, that much information gathering is really a two-person job. There's a fugitive on the loose , so nobody should be alone anyway. And frankly, you two have been acting like children, and I'm a bit tired of it. You are going to bury the hatchet and work together. Now."
"There's a hatchet?!" Susa asked, eyes lighting up. "Can I try it out before we bury it? I'm a fan of the weapon type."
Teana fought for a few minutes to unclench her fists of fury, before saying, "Fate. Please. Look at what you are giving me to work with."
Fate smiled sweetly. "He needs some work on proper procedure, but he has given us our most likely suspect."
"By accident! He just arrested the first guy he found with hair color that seemed suspicious!" Tia protested.
"And yet, he was right. Good instincts do count, Teana," Fate said, putting a supportive hand on her should. "But only if tempered by a sound mind. That's where you come in. Frankly, I think you two would make a good team."
"... So, you've secretly been out to get me all this time, then?" Tia asked.
"Go. Investigate. Now."
Susanoo and Teana walked toward the house's main server, and as they did, Teana chose to make the situation known.
"Okay, listen. I don't like you, and you don't like me..." she began.
"I like you," Susanoo said with a slight pout.
"... But we have no choice but to work together. So let me tell you how this needs to happen. Security keycards include a mystic code worked into the construction to interface with main security, so I will have Cross Mirage enter the home's security computer and find the location of all keycards in the house. I will collect and examine them all, while Cross Mirage examines the computer's programming for any signs of tampering, however subtle. I will then examine the house's... ugh... KillBot for same. You," she said, turning to face her 'partner', "will sit quietly in the corner, and not speak."
"That... doesn't sound terribly heroic."
"That's because it isn't intended to help you be a hero. It's intended to keep me sane."
"Ooooooh. I didn't realize your sanity depended on me so much!" Susa said, apparently happy with this answer. "Okay, I'll find a good corner."
Tia sighed, letting a tiny bit of tension out. As they turned the corner and entered the server room, she actually felt that maybe something was finally, finally going right here. "Okay. Good. That's a start. Now, Cross Mirage, if you please? Run the routines I asked for on our way here... oh, and give us a list of anyone in the house who's keycard would give them access to this room. They're more likely to have been able to get into security."
"Oooh, that's clever," Susanoo said.
"You're not supposed to talk."
"Roger, sir!"
Teana sighed. "Cross Mirage. Please start."
"List loaded to portable drive. Scanning for active keycards... found. Six active cards located."
"Okay, give me the locations, and start scanning directory for..."
"That seems weird, doesn't it?" Susa asked.
Teana winced. "Yes, I know that you probably aren't used to it, but asking my Device to do something for me results in it listening. It's a strange concept to you, I know. Remember what I said about you not talking?"
Susanoo blinked a few times, then smiled. He held up his hand, flashing seven fingers. Then six. Then seven again. He then leaned back against the wall, smiling in clear satisfaction, as if he had accomplished something.
Teana sat in silence for several long seconds, weighing things in her mind, curiosity at war with her joy at the sudden silence. It was a catch-22... there was no good way to have both. In the end, the investigator in her won out. Damn her inquisitive soul.
"You can talk, just this once," Teana said, hating the sound of the words.
"Um, it seems like that number of cards is weird, doesn't it?" Susa asked.
Teana blinked, counting her thoughts out. Governor, wife, daughter, two maids, butler, chef...
Her eyes widened. "Even if we assume the visitors, the daughter's fiance and the doctor, weren't issued a keycard, that's too few. There should be at least seven active cards on the premises. Maybe as many as nine. So why only six?"
"Um... well, I have to assume it's harder to make one than to alter one. So they probably destroyed them to hide the evidence of the one they changed," Susanoo said. "But we have the central computer at our disposal. So we can find out who's card isn't active right now. And then we know whose got broken!"
Teana's mouth opened and closed a few times. "That... that was... that was... smart."
Susanoo pouted. "It was your idea. My idea didn't work, so I'm giving yours a shot. Besides, I'm betting I know who the cardmaster will be. After all, altering the security system of another's home... well... that's treachery. And there's only one person in this building who is known for treachery!"
"... Why do you insist on killing my respect for you?" Teana asked. "We already proved that the butler isn't the ex-governor's son."
"My new theory is that it's the cook," Susanoo said proudly.
"...Why?"
"Because we haven't talked to him yet, and I'm running out of male options," Susanoo said firmly. "A daughter seeking vengeance just doesn't have the same ring. I think it's because 'daughter' has the same number of syllables as 'vengeance' and 'seeking', so it's doesn't have the same bite to it. Just say it. 'Son'. That is a word with bite, you know. Son. Son. Son."
"... So, you go out of your way to kill any tiny spark of respect you inspire in me, then?"
Fate sighed as she held the scan program in her hand, the Mid circle glowing around her palm revealing no information she didn't already know. "So. Bardiche detects no sign of any hidden doors or passages on the grounds or in any of the rooms we've explored. If they exist, they are shielded, and professionally."
"We need more advanced equipment?" Siouxport asked. "Because frankly, I'm not sure anything we have at the local precinct is going to do better than a mage's personal combat device. I've never even seen hardware that advanced, and I'm with the global police."
Fate sighed. "No, the problem isn't the tech. The problem is that this estate clearly has major security shielding that isn't in the blueprints. Any political manor worth the name has security, of course, but anything that could keep out Bardiche can't be legal."
"Or they just don't have a hidden tunnel beneath the house."
Fate raised an eyebrow. "Well, in that case I suppose it's just possible that none of the many, many officers on the grounds saw him. When he ran across the open, shelter-less lawn. In the bright sun. Wearing black and white."
Detective Siouxport mimed being shot in the heart, chuckling openly. "Fine, fine, your point is made. There must be some sort of tunnel or panic room. But, I mean... police check in with household security here weekly. Ever since the, er, Treachario incident, we have kept a very close watch on our politicians. For their own safety, of course."
"Please don't let Susa hear you call it 'the Treachario Incident', he'll think it's an amazing spy story."
The inspector smirked. "Well, only if you consider discovering that the governor has spent in the area of 450,000 credits on prostitutes during his three years in office to be gripping thriller material."
Fate's jaw dropped.
"Yes, we were shocked too. The man was insatiable."
Fate shook her head. "Well, he sounds a little too much like the current... er, more recent governor's wife. If she were a few years younger, I'd think Irina Chryslus was the Treachario-spawn Susa is so keen on catching..."
"Well, my dear, that is simply insulting," a painfully familiar voice purred from down the hall. "I would never pay for something I can very, very easily get for free."
"Oh, what fresh torment is this," Fate muttered. She put on her best fake smile before turning around, saying, "Ms. Chryslus! Please leave the area, an ongoing investigation is underway."
The woman smiled like a shark, and Fate's skin crawled. Beautiful, but scary. "Well, I'm quite sure that nobody died in this room, and I'm afraid it is my house. When such, mmmm, lovely young things are roaming the halls, I would be a poor hostess indeed if I did not... attend to them."
Fate tried not to wince, and she got the impression that her partner-of-the-moment was suppressing a similar urge. "Nonetheless ma'am, a suspect is on the loose. You were supposed to stay in your quarters under guard unless called for."
"Speaking of which," inspector Siouxport said with a raised eyebrow, "Where is your guard?"
Irina smiled widely. "Why, I was so terribly scared, and asked the poor dear to comfort me. And he did. Very well. He was positively exhausted after, I'm afraid. He may be ill. Not a lot of stamina."
Sioxport nodded sagely. "What a shame. First he falls mysteriously ill. Then he gets suspended without pay for a month. His life is just a cascade of problems."
Irina pouted. "Oh no. Tell me you aren't going to be utterly humorless like the lovely Ms. Harlaown? She has the most amazing legs and the most boring personality. And yet, I persevere, even offering her my aid in return for a moment of her time."
"Aid?" Fate asked, suspicious. "Is there something you haven't told me, Ms. Chryslus?"
"Well, only because it wasn't important until now," she said with a pout. "But once dear Evan ran away, I just knew that I had to intervene."
"In hopes that he will be found guilty for the murder of your husband and get the police out of your home?" Inspector Siouxport asked.
Irina grinned almost girlishly, the first almost pleasant expression Fate had seen on her. "I'm sure I don't know what you mean. Merely doing my civic duty, officer."
Fate rolled her eyes. "Of course you are. Now, what is it that you think that we so much need to know?"
"Well. Here's the thing. You know of course, that darling Evan has gone off the grid. I couldn't help but hear you talking all about it," the woman said, twirling her hair around her finger. "And I thought to myself, well, perhaps he found his way down into the tunnels!"
"Tunnels?"
"Well, I'm sure you don't know much about it, but I'm sure Mr. Siouxport remembers that nasty little war this planet had a century or so ago? It was before we met the TSAB, of course, but it was in all the history books," Irina said. "So much tedium. I fear a large number of promising young folks died, though it was before my time so I can't specify. But this city was the capitol even then, and there are many, many hidden bunkers, shelters, even entire networks of buried tunnels beneath the houses, all fortified to withstand anything the locals could dream up."
Fate turned to her pseudo-partner, her eyes widening. "Is this true? Fortified military bunkers?"
The young man's eyes lit up. "Yes. Yes. I didn't even consider that, but many of those old tunnels are shielded against everything from magical attack to nuclear fallout. I don't think any active sensors could get down there, even now."
Irina smiled. "Oh my. I seem to have helped."
Fate put on the first genuine smile she'd given the woman. Well, more of a grin. Well... more of a neutral kind of quirk to one corner of her mouth.
Fate put on the first genuine neutral mouth-quirk that she had given the woman, and said, "Ms. Chryslus, would Mr. Ferrio have known the access point to these tunnels in the house?"
Irina purred, "Why, I imagine most of the household staff wouldn't know about it, but dear Joseph has been with us for nearly a decade now. I'm quite sure he knows about the old entrance in the sub-basement. I can show you, if you like. It's rather hard to spot, but I've been down there so many times. It's so... dark. And private."
Fate's fake smile returned in full force. "Well, we'll be sure to bring a light source, then. Thank you for the warning, Ms. Chryslus."
"No fun at all."
Despite her claims of the situation being super not-fun, the former Mrs. Chryslus led them through the halls, to the wine cellar in the basement. With practiced ease, she walked to a shelf on the north wall and picked a seemingly random wine bottle, twisting it counterclockwise twice. On the other side of the room, a tiny, almost invisible crack opened in the wall... the outline of a hidden door.
Fate's eyes lit up as she moved toward the wall, pushing in on it lightly. She was filled with glee as the hidden door opened, looking at Siouxport as he took up position next to her, his sidearm at the ready. Sudden hope filled her that the case had finally, finally opened up...
And then a cloud of pale white gas flooded the room, and the world went suddenly blurry, blackness beginning to creep around the edges of her vision with only a single lungful of it. She went for Bardiche, but her device slipped from numb fingers, and she saw the inspector fall to his knees, trying to cover his mouth even as his weapon fell to the floor with a clatter she couldn't hear.
The last thing she saw, as her vision faded completely, was Irina Chryslus standing over her, a small rebreather clamped over her mouth. It did nothing to hide the smirk of triumph in her eyes.
Teana sighed, looking down at the cards.
"You're sure these are all the active ID cards in the house, Cross Mirage?" she asked, her eyes narrowed in annoyance, as if the tiny pieces of plastic had done something to her, personally.
"Yes, ma'am."
"That. Makes. No. Sense," she snarled. "There are six of them. One for the butler. One for the wife. One for the daughter. One each for the maids, and one for the cook."
"That does seem suspicious," Susanoo muttered. "Why would the cook need security clearance for anything? All he does is cook. You don't need security clearance to make stew. You just need meat and some vegetables, and maybe milk."
"For the love of... this is evidence you brought to light, stop forgetting why it matters!" Tia snapped. "Where is the governor's card?! I was expecting there to be multiple copies of it, not no copies of it! Where did it go?!"
"Stolen?"
"It would still be registering on the household computer. These cards have tracking chips in them, and the range is throughout the city. Besides, security shows none of the suspects leaving the grounds until Ferrio vanished."
"Destroyed?"
"We found no signs of that in any of the rooms, and there's no incinerators on the premises..."
"Card gnomes took it?"
"We haven't found any hints of... … … wait, what?"
"Card gnomes," Susanoo said helpfully. "Little gnomes. They like to steal cards, as the name implies."
"... I'm going to shoot you in a minute."
"Try not to hit the eyes, and that should be okay. I'm rather durable," Susa said agreeably.
Teana sighed, rubbing her temples in a totally futile gesture. The headache was external. "Look. If you really want to help, try to think of some way the cards could have been hidden on the grounds without being destroyed."
Susanoo opened his mouth.
Teana clarified, "And if you say 'card gnomes' I will hurt you more than you can imagine."
Susanoo closed his mouth.
Teana sighed. "Thought so. Okay, let's look at this logically. There have to be a few of these cards somewhere on the estate. The computer can't find them. How could this be? Options. One: They were somehow destroyed so thoroughly the techno/magical imprint that lets the system track them was totally destroyed. This would basically require the card be vaporized completely, so it's not likely. Two..."
Susanoo raised his hand.
"Two," Teana said more loudly, trying to continue her efforts before he started accusing Baron DeVil or Professor Doomstalker or something. "The cards have been placed in some kind of heavily shielded container or chamber. Something so well-sealed that the tracer doesn't go through it."
Susanoo kept raising his hand, using his other hand to hold it up while he made the "Oh! Oh! Oh!" sound heard from children across the known galaxy when they super knew the answer to a question.
"Option one would require highly advanced weaponry or magic in the A-level range. We've seen no particular signs of the latter, and it would be hard to hide ordinance on the level of the former," Teana continued. "So we assume that there's a shielded compartment somewhere."
"Oh! OOOOOOH!" Susanoo said, jumping up and down and waving his hand.
Fate? Teana thought, sending her thoughts out to her partner. Any luck on your end? We have some thoughts on this one. And by that I mean, I have some thoughts and he has some stupid.
Silence.
She blinked. Telepathy was one of the more difficult magics to block, particularly between mages of Teana and Fate's caliber. Further, the two women had worked together closely for years, and Teana knew Fate's frequency like the back of her hand. The psychic link should have been immediate and strong.
Fate? She sent again, a slight touch of desperation in her thoughts. Fate, respond. Enforcer Harlaown, respond.
Silence.
"Cross Mirage!" Teana snapped. "Run scan protocol. Any sign of Enforcer Harlaown or Bardiche."
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!" Susanoo said, holding both hands up and waving them.
"Stop that!" Teana snarled, no longer at all happy. If Fate wasn't responding, it was because she couldn't respond. "Cross Mirage, please..."
"Scan complete. Target not in scanning range."
Cross Mirage had an effective scrying range of ten kilometers unaided. Dammit.
Susanoo put his hand down, his eyes widening. "Um. Did your magic card just say that Tess is gone?"
"This is bad. This is really bad," Teana muttered. "She could be out of range, but there's no way she wouldn't tell me she was going. So where could she be?"
Susanoo's eyes lit up, and he raised his hand. "OH! OOOOOOOOOH! OH OH OH!"
Teana turned to face him, despair growing on her face. "Oh, God. We're alone, aren't we. You and me. Just the two of us. I have to investigate this with you."
Susanoo's eyes lit up even more lightly. "I didn't even think about that! So, do you have a codename you want to use as my sidekick? I'm leaning toward 'Justice Gun', but really I think a veteran officer like you should get to choose your own. But it won't be as good as Justice Gun. Just so you know."
Teana pondered this for a few painfully long seconds. She then walked over to the nearest wall, drew her head back softly, and hit it against the flat surface just hard enough to hurt.
Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.
It was comforting, in a way.