Fate T. Harlaown and the Case of the Murderous Murder
A Tale of Intrigue, Treachery, and DOOM
Part the Fourth
"Okay. Let's not panic. Sure two of our suspects have vanished and Fate is gone and the local police are panicking over the loss of the global investigator and this might just be the biggest fiasco of my professional career," Teana said flatly. "But on the plus side... um... um... ummmmmm..."
"You still have me!" Susanoo said proudly.
"Oh God I'm doomed," Tia sobbed, clutching her head in her hands. "We have no evidence, we have no suspects, and no we have no superior officer! For all we know Fate is... is lying dead in a ditch somewhere, and Bardiche isn't responding to signals because someone threw it in the garbage compactor. I'm a failure!"
Susanoo blinked a few times before awkwardly patting Teana on the shoulder. "Um... cheer up? It's not really that bad..."
She spun on him, her eyes full of venom even as they sparkled with tears. "You. You're telling me to cheer up? You... you bludgeon your way into my career through sheer luck, you steal my mentor, you take what could have been a massive feather in my cap and turn it into the biggest black mark my file has ever had, and you tell me to cheer up?! How am I supposed to be cheerful?!"
"Um... I do it by smiling, mostly..."
"Of course you can smile! You're a moron with nothing to lose!" Teana shrieked. "It doesn't matter to you if you're laughed out of the Enforcer service, you joined on a whim! This is my life, you idiot! My dream! I have everything to lose here! So tell me, why should I smile?!"
"Well, um... because I thought of a place the ID cards might be hidden?" Susanoo asked.
"You stupid son of a... wait, what?" Tia squawked, "Why didn't you say something?!"
"Well, you told me not to talk," Susanoo said. "And then you seemed like you wanted to cry for a little, so I thought it might be rude. But then you..."
"I know what happened," Tia sighed. "Okay. Okay. You... look. I don't like you, and you don't like me..."
"Why do you keep saying that? I like you just fine."
"But we're all we've got right now. So I... am willing to listen to your theories as long as they aren't completely idiotic."
Susanoo nodded and, with a huge smile, said, "The KillBot did it!"
"... … … … What did I just say?!" Teana shrieked.
Fate groaned, blinking her eyes groggily. Her vision was blurry to the point she could barely see, and her head was pounding as though someone had hammered a nail through it, but at least it was still attached. She sighed in annoyance with herself.
Rookie mistake. I should have gotten a small army of backup. Gotten too used to being a weapon of mass destruction in blonde form, maybe. She thought. And now it's led to me being...
She blinked the final bit of blurriness out of her eyes and observed her situation.
"Oh come on," she groaned.
She was hanging from the wall, shackled to her hands and knees, the familiar weight of an AMF (and where did they get AMF tech from?! The stuff was the Holy Trinity of Illegal, Expensive, and Hard to Make that ensured most criminal organizations simply couldn't get it) pressing down on her, and Bardiche on a table across the room, far out of reach. That much was normal. That much, she had half-expected.
She was also wearing nothing but a black leather bikini.
"Mrs. Chryslus," Fate said in a loud, firm tone. "I pray that you have something to do with your husband's murder, for your sake. Because whatever the legal system of your planet does to murderers, it will be merciful compared to what I do to you if your only reason for any of this was to dress me up like a hooker."
The woman's laugh filled the room as she sauntered in, a sway in her hips and an extremely illegal plasma blaster in her hand. "Why, officer Harlaown, wouldn't that count as police brutality? Assuming you get out of here to be an officer again. Which I fear just. Won't. Be. Happening!"
"Irina, please don't taunt the guests. It's tacky," said a mocking male voice, following her into the room.
Fate smirked. "Mr. Ferrio. Always the loyal butler, I see. Even when mistress is out to kill master? I assume she offered you the better pay upgrade? She can afford it now that she's inheriting most of the estate. Or perhaps what you were really after was the... perks of working for the newly lonely widow."
"'Master'. Ms. Harlaown, if you knew that man as I did, you would understand that murdering him was the ideal solution to what I can only call a truly enduring evil," Ferrio said. "Irina and I were not having anything so paltry as an affair, and she certainly did not give me her modified keycard out of some desire to inherit her husband's money. We were working together to curb a corruption that has been at the heart of this planet since the end of the great war, all those years ago. She, unlike her husband, is a true patriot and will be a hero of Taris once the truth is out."
Fate raised an eyebrow. "So you were one of the people who accessed the governor's office the night of the murder. You used her master keycard, modified to mimic her husband's, and then used your own in the morning to throw us off the trail. I bet you hid it down here in the shielded chamber as soon as you were done, until Susa... erm... found you out," she said, carefully ignoring the fact that Susanoo had arrested the man by accident.
"As I said, Ms. Chryslus was only too happy to help once she learned what her husband was really doing with his power. She has a truly good heart."
"And the black leather bikini?"
"... Irina has a good heart, not a terribly good libido," Ferrio muttered, blushing furiously.
"It looks good on her," Irina insisted.
"The question really isn't appearance, Irina, so much as the propriety of the situation," Ferrio said with a sigh.
"Ugh... my head..." Detective Siouxport said from his position on the wall next to Fate, where she had been unable to see due to the restraints forcing her head forward. "I feel like I was kicked in the face by a KillBot... and why am I wearing a black leather banana hammock?"
"I liked your tan," Irina said helpfully.
"Honestly, Irina, you are ruining my case here," Ferrio said.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I'll let you finish," she chirped.
"Thank you. Tell me, Mr. Siouxport... I expect the noble and strong agent of the TSAB wouldn't know, but I suspect you have heard of Black Wolf?"
Fate could practically feel the man tense up. "You're one of them? You can't be serious, they never had a cell in this city, or..."
"Not a cell. Just a lone agent, perfectly placed," Ferrio said, smirking wickedly.
Fate blinked. "Siouxport, what is he...?"
"Black Wolf are an activist organization that has been active in some of the outlying cities for the last few years, protesting industrialization, government regulation... basically anything that involves some people having more power than others. Keep talking about 'returning to our roots' as a people. They've been behind a few attacks, but they've never been active in the capitol," Siouxport said. "And they've never killed anyone. It's all... industrial sabotage. Sit-ins. Tying themselves to trees. They're activists, not terrorists."
"It wasn't something we wanted to do," Ferrio said, his smile fading somewhat. "Not something... I wanted to do. But I had no choice. When I found out what that madman was doing, I had no choice but to stop him."
Fate narrowed her eyes. "Then you..."
"Yes. I entered the office that night, using Irina's card. I approached the governor at his desk. And I killed him," Ferrio said flatly. "And he deserved it. Governer Chryslus was a traitor to his office, his people, and his world. And I can prove it." He reached into his pocket and withdrew a small projector, holograms of several files appearing in the air above his outstretched hand.
Fate looked in on them, her eyes narrowing as she struggled to focus on the text, then widening as she succeeded. "Is this genuine?!"
"That's the governor's mark. I've seen it enough times to know it by sight, and the encryption on it is very hard to fake," Siouxport said quietly.
"Ten-ton industrial magnets for satellite mounted railguns... injector missiles for virus bombs... weapons-grade plutonium..." Fate muttered. "These are components for weapons of mass destruction. Illegal beyond all reason for any member world of the TSAB, and considered reason for Sealing Orders even on unaffiliated worlds."
"And the people of Taris thought we had problems when our governor was 'just' an embezzling philanderer," Ferrio said with a combination of sadness and humor. "I don't know what Chryslus was planning to do with this weaponry, and really it doesn't matter. Once I found the proof he was stockpiling it, he had to be stopped, no matter the cost. So I went into his office just before midnight, under the guise of bringing him a snack and using Irina's keycard, modified to match the governor's, so no trail would be left. He was asleep at his desk... he often was. A workaholic, you might recall? And I left a small, personal-sized poison gas emitter beneath his desk, where he wouldn't find it. Unobtrophin. Odorless, tasteless, colorless. Lethal after an hour of exposure, symptoms mimic a heart attack. The perfect weapon for an assassination, don't you agree? Then all that was left to do was reprogram Irina's card, then enter in the morning to reclaim my weapon and hide it in the shielded tunnels.
"The perfect plan," Irina snapped. "Except somehow, it was found out by that damnable chief investigator! Somehow his keen investigative mind was able to piece together the details of the crime, and he arrested Evan on the spot."
Fate tried really hard not to laugh. It would have ruined the moment, and they might have taken it personally. With the guns and all, it was best not to piss them off too much.
"It was a problem," Ferrio said sadly. "Suddenly I'm the most wanted man on the planet. I am willing to be a martyr for the cause, but if possible I'd like to avoid it. So I had no choice but to bring you here... explain my actions. Inspector, I know you have to do your job, bringing a murderer to justice. But I'm no murderer. I'm a hero. A patriot."
Fate sighed. "Well, you're partially partially right. You're not a murderer, in the sense that no poison of any sort was found in the governor's system, and he died of blunt force trauma, not a heart attack or anything that mimicked one."
Ferrio's jaw dropped. "But I planted it myself! How could it not have..."
"Because you're a fool," a cold voice said, "And this death was never yours to claim."
Ferrio spun, leveling his weapon at the door, only to see a handful of small metal spheres roll into the room and explode, flooding it with white gas. He and Irina began to cough violently, falling to their knees. Fate joined them, feeling blackness beginning to creep around her vision as the anesthetic gas flooded her system.
She had just enough time to think, Ugh, again? before her consciousness faded.
"Okay," Teana said, staring down at her unwanted partner as he sat at her feet like a student seeking approval from a stern teacher. The gun she had pointed at his face may have contributed to this. "You have three chances to convince me that the KillBot... God it hurts a little to just say that name... was our guilty party. Go."
"Well, first, it's name is 'KillBot', so..." Susanoo said.
"Strike One," Teana said, loading a cartridge into Cross Mirage.
"Second, it's made by Dr. von Murder, who we know is obviously suspicious due to his clearly evil demeanor and..."
"Strike Two." An orange glow began to emerge at the barrel of the gun.
Susanoo stopped for a moment, wracking his brain, the sheer effort of the thinking he was doing very nearly making audible clunking sounds as mental processes clicked into place. "Um... we know it was at the crime scene from your studies, and all KillBots have built in shielding to keep them from being hacked remotely. So if programmed correctly it couldhave used a keycard to get in the first time, killed the governor, then actually hid the keycard inside itself where it wouldn't be detected, and come back later in the night under the guise of a routine security sweep to destroy evidence."
Teana rolled her eyes and began to say, "Strike Th-"
She stopped.
She blinked.
"I... that... was... how... did... that... I... you... what?" she shrieked.
"... Did I get it on the third one? I was saving the best for last to add to the dramatic impact," Susanoo said.
"I... that... how did you... how did you...?"
"I read the schematics of the household security while you were working. You told me not to talk, so I got bored," Susa said proudly. "And it had full design specs for the KillBot, among other things. So I looked, and it struck out at me since you seemed so angry about key cards being un-findable. I thought it might cheer you up to hear!"
"Then why didn't you say this sooner?!"
"Um, you told me not to."
"... Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarh!"
Susanoo smiled. "See? We're working together great already, best buddy!"
"Oh just... come with me. We're gonna go crack open that stupid robot," Teana muttered. Snapping up Cross Mirage, she said, "Whoever's in charge of the local police! We need the maids and the chef, now. Take them to the security station, we'll interrogate them there."
"Excuse me?" An annoyed female voice came over the comm. "We've lost our chief investigator, and you think that you can bark out orders like-"
"DO IT," Teana snarled.
"... Yes'm."
Susanoo smiled. "You know, Ana, we should spend more time together. You remind me of some of my old masters. But in a good way, not a sociopathic dictator way."
"Can you please go back to not talking?"
The KillBot was well-named. The thing looked like nothing so much as a gigantic mantis made of golden metal; it was the size of Fate's car, but with quad-barreled energy weapons of some kind where the 'claws' would normally be, and some kind of grenade launcher mounted between the optical sensors on the head. Four legs, each ending in a razor tip, rounded out the ensemble. It was immaculately clean and, as the computer had claimed, gold-plated, with the exception of some kind of scratch below the neck joint; most likely a mechanic had slipped with a wrench or something similar.
Teana blinked. "Why does this thing looks like something that you'd see in the maniacal army of a mad scientist?"
Susanoo coughed, a sound which sounded vaguely like, "Von Murder!"
"Shut up and help me get the access plate off," she muttered, slipping her fingers around the maintenance port and tugging. It was stuck pretty firmly; she pulled for nearly thirty seconds and it didn't so much as wiggle. "Stupid th-"
Susa reached out with one hand and tugged sharply, pulling the plate open with enough force to bend the metal.
"... Okay, you have your uses," Teana admitted. "Cross Mirage, scan inside while I search manually." She gazed into the open workings of the robot, pushing aside wires and studying as best she could. It wasn't terribly dissimilar from a Gadget Drone, letting her spot the power source and CPU pretty quickly, and...
She blinked. "There's nothing in here. There's enough space for a card, but nothing inside."
"Oh come on!" Susanoo screamed. "I was so sure! I am so sick of this stupid case and its stupid plot twists and nothing making any stupid sense!"
"Actually, don't feel bad," Teana muttered, looking deeper. "You may not be entirely wrong. This is nothing that should be on a defense robot... looks like some kind of filter, or air purifier...? Cross Mirage, explain if you could."
"Structural Analysis complete; structure is an industrial-strength air purifier with a maximum radius of three-hundred meters. Traces of plasma residue, sulfur dioxide, unobtrophin, and plutonium dust."
Tea's jaw dropped. "That... the Hell is going on?"
"Is that bad?" Susanoo asked.
"Plasma residue and sulfur dioxide indicate the presence of both mass weaponry and non-magical energy weaponry. Unobtrophin is poison, an airborne gas popular with assassins because it's hard to produce and mimics a heart attack, so lazy authorities never think to check for it. And plutonium, well..." Teana sighed. "Cross Mirage. Open the KillBot's files, see what it did the night of the murder. This doesn't add up."
"0000 Hours, enter governor's office under [ORDER ENCRYPTED]. 0001 Hours to 0345 hours: stand point in Evidence-Destruction mode. 0400 hours: return to charging pod."
The room was silent for a long time.
"Evidence destruction mode?!" Teana shrieked. "It has an evidence destruction mode?! And yet nobody on this moron planet finds these things suspicious enough to not buy them?!"
"Um... apparently not," Susanoo said, taking a few steps back from her, thus proving once and for all that he really wasn't a complete moron.
"Oh, this is glorious. This is just brilliant. So now in addition to murder, we have poison, illegal weaponry, and apparently something that runs on nuclear power, in a tiny office. All of them cleaned out, I might add, by a robot that actually has a mode for illegal destruction of evidence. Dear Lord, KillBots actually are just as evil as the name suggests!"
Then she realized what she had just said, and winced.
"So," Susanoo said, his eyes lighting up. "What you're saying is that Dr. Von Murder..."
"Don't say it."
"... and his company, MurderCorp..."
"Don't. Say it."
"... are actually at the heart of a deadly conspiracy, and I was right all along!" Susanoo crowed.
Teana sighed, trying not to grind her teeth; it would just make the headache worse. "Yes. Yes, once again, you have managed to luck onto evil through sheer rampaging force of stupid. Stop being proud of that," she snapped, taking out her comm. "Officer! Add Dr. Von Murder to the list of people we need dragged in for questioning. Now."
"Uuuuum... do you promise not to be angry at me, Ms. Lanster?" the poor officer on the other end of the line, said.
"... … That depends on what you have to say."
"Well. We sent two officers to the kitchens to locate the chef, Marcus DuClar, and the remaining maid, Louise Tobllik. And... um... Mr. DuClar is... errrrrrm... how to put this... kind of... dead."
"What."
"We found him shoved into the freezer behind the kitchens. His neck was broken. A coroner is on the way, but he keyed in with his card less than thirty minutes ago, so this was recent."
"DAMMIT! Okay, get everyone together. Every suspect, especially the maids. They were part of the kitchen staff, at least one of them should have been there too. Seal off the area, I'll be down as soon as I can."
"Errrrrrrrrm... well, there's the other problem..." the officer said softly. "Um, see, we already sent officers to Dr. Von Murder's quarters, the staff quarters, and the family wing. And um... well..."
"SPIT IT OUT."
"The only person we found was one of the maids! She keeps asking to talk to 'Chief Inspector Susanoo'! I don't even know what that means, please don't kill me!"
Susanoo blinked. "Justice Punch?"
"Do not call her that," Teana snarled. "Officer are you seriously telling me that everyone has vanished from the house except the two of us and one crazy maid?!"
"... … Will you shoot me if I say 'yes'?"
With the dignity and grace of a veteran enforcer, Teana threw her comm against the wall so hard it shattered.
"You seem tense," Susanoo said.
"Ya think?!" Teana shrieked. "Fate is gone! Everyone is gone! There's been another murder! And now I need to find, and I can't believe I'm saying this, Dr. Von Murder to find out why his KillBots have been using their Evidence Destruction Mode on my crime scene! I! Am! Beyond! Tense! This is psychotic! This is lunacy! This isn't madness, this is beyond madness! This isn't how cases are supposed to go! There aren't mysterious robots and vanishing suspects and people named von Murder! It's! Just! Wrong!"
Susanoo pondered this for a few seconds. "Ummmmm... wasn't your first big case fighting a mad scientist named 'Jail' and his army of killer cyborgs before they could clone a dead king to take over a magical battleship?"
There were a few more moments of silence, as Teana pondered this response.
"Grrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!" she replied, eloquently, leaping forward, her hands clamping around Susanoo's neck as she tackled him.
Fate opened her eyes, blinking groggily. "So... could we cut back on the gas, please...?"
"My apologies, Investigator. I needed to lock down the terrorist and the old whore said the same cold, cruel male voice she had heard before losing consciousness. "After all, the fool wanted to take credit for my revenge, and the old woman, well... the fiance really can't stand her."
Fate narrowed her eyes. "Darius Cole?"
The young merchant smirked up at her, his arm around the shoulders of Scarlet Chryslus, the two of them wearing matching looks of malicious amusement. They had, on the other hand, taken the time to put her pants back on her, so she couldn't think them too evil.
"Ugh..." Irina muttered, opening her eyes from the chairs she and Ferrio had been tied to. "... Oh, you little brat. I should have known you were involved with all this somehow. Knew I should have gotten a puppy instead of a child."
"Hello to you too, mother," Scarlet said, her tone dripping sweet venom. "Why so angry? I'd have thought you were used to being tied up in a room full of people you barely know."
Fate sighed. "Okay. Before we start the family catfight, could you explain what you're all talking about? Mr. Ferrio was just taking credit for the killing. I'm going to assume you're here for the same reason? Most killers don't, but since we seem to be trapped in a bad movie, I'm just assuming at this point."
"A bad movie? That's a bit dismissive of my life's work," Darius said. "Scarlet here just hates her parents deeply. But me... well, with me, it was a bit different. Irina might well be a spoiled, selfish old crone who went along with a plan to kill her evil husband for no reason but a cute butler asking her to, but me... Governor Chryslus destroyed my life. My mother's life. And most especially... my father's life."
"Oh no," Fate muttered.
"Because I am...!"
"Son of Joseph Treachario?" Fate asked mildly.
"The one and only son of... what?" Darius asked.
"Lucky guess," Fate said.
"I... well. I had a speech, planned..."
"Skip it. We worked out the gist. Chryslus destroyed your father's career, your mother was thrown out on the street, yadda yadda. Tell me how you think you killed the governor."
"I... well, look, you're being rather alarmingly blasé about all this. This is my lifelong quest for revenge, we're talking about here."
"I'm strapped to a wall. I've been drugged twice in the last two hours. I'm having a bad day, Mr. Cole." Fate rolled her eyes. "All signs point to your father having been a completely horrible human being who really didn't care about you or your mother in the first place. So unless you're suggesting that he was secretly a wonderful father who protected you with a loving heart, then you really had no reason to seek any sort of revenge. Yet here you are. Seeking it. So I'm sorry, but it's just really hard to find you interesting."
Darius just kind of sat in silence for awhile. "Um... well, I... I'm sorry... I mean... I thought it was a pretty good motivation..."
Scarlet patted him on the shoulder supportively. "It's okay, honey. Just because your motive wasn't the best, doesn't mean your plan wasn't great!"
"Y... you didn't like my motive either...?"
"Awwww, sweetie. We're gonna get married next month, and that means that I'm here for you, even if your motive isn't very good," Scarlet said warmly. "And remember, my motive was just hating my parents and wanting to inherit their money! I think your motive was just as good as mine! Maybe even better!"
Sniffling lightly, Darius put on a small smile. "Th-thanks, honey. You really are the best. I never would have had the courage to take my final vengeance without you." The couple leaned, kissing softly before sliding into a loving hug.
"Awwwwwwwwwww," Siouxport said. "You don't see cute couples like that anymore, y'know?"
"Because they're all in prison?" Fate asked. "We're on a clock here, people. You could take a few minutes to explain why you came down here to layer a second kidnapping on top of my first one."
"Oh. Um, well. Last night Scarlet went into her dad's office with him to talk about some things and stole his cardkey before she left, see? So I used that to sneak in around 2AM in the night, and... and stabbed him. With a knife? Then I stuck the knife and the card down here! Because it's... well, Scarlet said it was shielded. We came down to finish destroying them, but we found everyone down here... luckily, she had some knockout gas. I guess she found it in her mother's room," Darius said. "I... well, I thought it was a pretty good plan."
Silence.
"That's it?" Irina asked.
"Darius, the governor wasn't stabbed. Moron," Ferrio said. "And honestly, after I went after the man with a miniaturized poison aerosol for trafficking in illegal weapons in what I can only assume was his quest to become a dictator, you sneaking in with a kitchen knife is just a little bit lame."
"W-what?! But... but I stabbed something! I know I did! I mean, sure it was dark in there, but I would hardly fail to notice when my knife hit something! Even if I did, um, well, run out rather fast..."
"Be strong, honey. They're just trying to shake you," Scarlet said. "I know you're the one who killed daddy, with how strong and evil you were. You do so good when you're confident!"
"Actually, Darius, he's telling the truth," Siouxport said. "The governor didn't get stabbed. And he died a few hours before you got there, if you're telling the truth about breaking in at 2AM."
Darius sat on the floor, wrapping his arms around his legs in a sulk. "So I'm not even a murderer?! I didn't get any revenge at all?! Well that's just great. Here I was, a self-made man, trying to restore the honor of the Treachario name..."
"It didn't have honor to restore," Irina said helpfully.
"Shut up, Mother!" Scarlet snapped. "Honey, it's okay. I mean, he's dead, right? So as long as someone did it, does it really matter who?"
"Not unless," a new voice said jovially, "That someone needs to remove any and all witnesses. And you all count, I'm afraid..."
Fate sighed. "I'm starting to think Teana was right about this case."
Author's Note: I should probably stop writing while I have sugar in my blood.
As always, please check my profile for additional works, both published and fanfic. Hope you enjoy!