Perry watched his owners for a little longer, and then turned to go home.
"Well, I had a feeling you were going to show up." Said a tree next to him.
Perry looked up. Dennis sat on one of the branches.
"How DARE YOU?" Perry growled. He tried desperately to climb up.
"A shame, really." Dennis said. "That such a tragic… accident would happen to such an innocent school."
"What is WITH YOU? You're fight's with me! Not them!"
Dennis shrugged. "I gave you a fair warning."
"Sure, 'do you smell smoke' is obvious code for 'I just burned your owner's school down while they were in it.'"
"Sorry. I'll be more specific next time." Dennis waved him away.
"What do you have to gain from this?!"
"Well, have you ever heard of the phrase, 'between a rock and a hard place'?"
"I've heard it, yeah."
"I'm putting you there." Dennis smiled meanly. "The boys mean so much to you, don't they? So, you want them safe, and I want Palmer. It's easy to see what you should do now."
"I'm not giving you Palmer." Perry snarled.
Dennis sighed. "That is your choice. However, it would be just terrible if more accidents like this unexpectedly happened."
"You won't hurt them."
"You're not the boss of me. But, if you like, you could accept my deal. Palmer for the boys' safety."
Perry took a deep breath.
"Tough call, isn't it? Think about it." Dennis pulled out a grappling hook and tossed it onto a nearby building. "You can wait with Palmer at the rogue alley in twenty-four hours. Or you can wait for my next letter." He swung away.
Perry tried to calm himself. Why did Dennis have to be so smart?
Maybe he could gather all the agents to jump Dennis tomorrow. They could arrest him.
Perry trudged back home. He'd make a plan. He'd make sure Dennis never hurt his owners.
And he'd make sure that Palmer stayed where he belonged. With the O.W.C.A.
p***
"I'll try to send a squad out to the alley, Perry, but I'm not certain if we'll be able to catch Dennis."
Perry scribbled down on his notepad: We have to. My owners are in danger.
He showed it to Monogram.
"I know you're very attached to them, but we can't risk our agents. The best we can do is send out a few SS SN men to round him up. Perhaps they'll be able to get him."
Perry sighed. He got down from his chair and went over to Palmer.
Palmer was in the corner of Perry's lair, lying on a baby blue blanket and watching Ducky Momo on a little portable TV. He was surrounded with soft toys and bouncy balls.
"Bloo." He said when he saw Perry. He drooled on the blanket.
"Hey, buddy. Whatcha been up to?"
"Moofie."
Perry smiled a little. It was like looking at himself as a baby. "What's moofie, little guy?"
"Sploogia."
"Yeah." Perry went over to his closet and pulled out two boxes.
"Watcha doin'?" Asked Pinky, coming into the lair.
"Making Palmer a box."
"What?"
Perry pointed at one of the boxes. "I have one. It's filled with all my baby stuff and some other stuff that reminds me of stuff."
"That's a lot of stuff."
"Like this." Perry pulled a teal blanket out of his box. "This was my baby blanket. I fell asleep on this the first night I was with Phineas and Ferb."
"That's cute." Pinky said.
"And this was my favorite tennis ball." Perry held up a chewed-up tennis ball. "I loved these things."
"Why does the box smell?"
"Oh, my sandwich!" Perry said happily. He pulled out a moldy gray sandwich.
"What… is it?"
"I think it's lettuce and tuna fish. I'm not really sure though." Perry smiled. "See that bite taken out of it? Two years ago, I made myself this sandwich. I was waiting for Monogram to call me in for surgery… I was getting my tonsils out. So while I waited, I took a bite out of this thingy. Then Monogram took it away because I wasn't supposed to eat or drink. Then after the operation he gave it back, but I didn't want to eat it."
"So you kept the sandwich for two years because it's the first one you ever made?"
"Heck, no. It's my tonsil sandwich. It just reminds me of that time."
"It smells terrible! It's gonna ruin your whole box!"
"Well, it's the last thing I ate when I had tonsils. So be quiet." Perry put the sandwich back in the box.
"Throw it out."
"The box?"
"The two-year-old tuna sandwich!"
"I am NOT throwin' out Steve."
"You named the sandwich."
"Yes."
Pinky took a deep breath. "Okay then. What else is in the box?"
"Just a few photographs and a statue of Ducky Momo." Perry patted the other box. "This box will be Palmer's."
"Just so you know, I'm not going near that box if you stick Palmer's first baby food in it."
"Understandable." Perry closed his box and shoved it back into his closet. "I can't start his box yet, though. I have to wait until he gets done with something. He's still using all his baby stuff."
"You could put a picture in."
"I could. Do you still have that picture you took of him when he was an egg?"
"Of course! We put that toy hat on him!"
"And then Poppy got mad."
"Good times." Pinky sighed.
Palmer stepped on the TV remote. The TV switched to a different channel.
"O M G Jessica, we like totally have to get Frank to notice us!" Squealed a teenage girl in a miniskirt.
"That's stupid." Perry grabbed the remote and switched the channel back to Ducky Momo.
"Totallie." Said Palmer.
Perry laughed a little. "You said it, buddy."
p***
"The movie's starting!" Devon said excitedly.
"Pass the popcorn." Perry told Pinky.
"This isn't your first bag of popcorn, is it? You're not going to put it in your box and name it Gerald, right?"
"Quit mocking Steve!"
"Who's Steve?" asked Carrie.
"Perry's sandwich." said Pinky.
"Guys, be quiet! It's starting!" Devon whispered.
The big screen lit up. A man stood on a curb.
"I see…" He croaked. "I see it now, Lydia…"
Perry snorted.
"Stop laughing! This is a very emotional scene!" said Devon.
"I'm not laughing! I had to sneeze!"
"It's coming for me…" The man continued.
"I'm getting inspired." Pinky said dreamily.
"Oh, Lydia, why? Why are we born into this world? Why am I here?"
"To bore people with your starring role." Perry answered.
"Hush!" Devon leaned forward in his seat.
"Lydia… if only I could see your golden hair again… if only I could see your amazing firey eyes…"
"If only I could see 'The End' appear on the screen…"
"Stop it, Perry!"
Carrie yawned. "I'm bored. When is something going to happen?"
"Watch!" Devon said. "He's about to do something!"
The man reached up… and wiped a tear from his eye.
"Such action." Perry muttered.
"This is a five-star movie." Devon said.
"What did they put in the critic's popcorn?" Perry asked.
The man onscreen got down on his knees. "OH, LYDIA, WILL I NEVER SEE YOUR SWEET FACE AGAIN?"
Perry opened his mouth to comment, but Devon shushed him.
p***
"That movie was lame." Pinky said as they left.
"My favorite part was the last part." Perry said.
"You mean the part when Jasper discovered that Lydia had turned herself into a rock?" Devon asked.
"No, the credits. It meant the movie was over."
"I liked the movie." Said Carrie. "It didn't have any scary parts."
"Or any interesting parts, either." Perry said.
"Fine, you hated the movie, I get it." Devon grumbled. "I just thought you'd want to get out a little bit. You've been bummed lately."
"Just have a lot on my mind."
"Palmer?"
"Yeah, in a way."
"You're so lucky." Devon sighed. "I've wanted puppies ever since I was three. It's just so cool to give life to something."
Perry smiled. "Yeah. I get this happy feeling every time I see him."
"He's with Poppy now?"
"Yep. She keeps him with her in the O.W.C.A when I'm not around."
"He's really cute." Pinky said.
"Looks like you." Said Devon.
Perry shrugged. "Yeah…"
"Shush." Pinky said under his breath. "I hear something."
The agents ducked behind a garbage can. Two voices were audible.
"I told you he was going to double-cross you! If you want this to work, you have to listen to me!"
"I'm powerful. I don't need to worry about anything. Those men couldn't get me."
"But what if they had?"
"They didn't. What's my next move?"
"Listen to yourself, so dependent on me. You're nothing without me."
"I managed fine without you. I just want to know what I should do next!"
"You managed fine, sure. All of your plans have failed. You trust people too much."
"He usually gives me whatever I want."
"You can't convince a parent to give up his child. It's common knowledge."
"Okay, I know that second guy is Dennis." Perry whispered. "Who's the other one?"
"Then what do I do? Fight him for it?"
"It doesn't matter how much you've altered yourself. Your artificial strength is nothing compared to that of an overprotective parent."
"Stop telling me what I CAN'T do, Fir, tell me what I CAN do!"
"You can shut up. Because if I told you now, they'd overhear me."
"What?"
"They're behind that garbage can over there."
"Uh oh." Pinky gulped.
The can was knocked over. The animals leapt out of the way just in time.
"Well, look who decided to show up?" Dennis said sweetly. "You stood me up in that alley."
"You'd better get used to the idea that Palmer isn't falling into your hands, Dennis." Perry retorted. "And I can protect my owners. You've lost."
"Oh no, I haven't. I can only win. Because I'm not one to give up."
"Dennis, don't you remember what made you like this? You had owners of your own. You loved them and felt at home with them. And now you're hurting mine. You're hurting innocent people just like the ones you loved. Can't you see how that doesn't make any sense?"
Dennis leaned close into Perry's face. "The O.W.C.A took me away from my loved ones. I will do whatever it takes to destroy it."
"And I will do whatever it takes to protect MY loved ones." Perry shot back.
Dennis smiled. "Good. If I can't have your owners, and I can't have Palmer, maybe you'd be willing to give me… you."